PP 086: Sania Green, Personal Development Strategist, Empowerment Coach and Soft Skills Trainer
Listen as Sania shares her triumphant journey which began as a teen mom and victim of domestic abuse to becoming a thriving digital nomad. Sania discusses releasing emotional baggage and the act of forgiveness as well as recognizing our own hopes and dreams while determining our life path.
KIM: Welcome back to Positive Productivity. I am so happy you’re here. Today I am thrilled to have Tanya Patxot – Personal Brand Marketing Mentor from the Truthpreneur with us. Tanya thank you so much for coming on today. So looking forward everything that we’re going to be talking about.
TANYA: Absolutely I’m excited too
KIM: Listeners, I had the pre-show chat just a little bit because the content was just so awesome that I didn’t want to lose any of it here. So Tanya, I’m going to go right into what we’re talking about right before the show. In Tanya’s response to my question – Please share why you would make a great guest in Positive Productivity? I loved how she absolutely said: “I am concerned with value in people before money.” Can you go back to our discussion pre-show and share what you said because it’s so loaded with awesomeness.
TANYA: I – we’ve spoken about a lot of things that a matter of a couple seconds right. It’s crazy how time flies.
KIM: We totally did..
TANYA: Yes. Yes. So essentially when I do a lot of training for the marketplace leaders and we develop their brand a lot of individuals will say: “I want to go international, and I want to go, you know statewide or U.S. or however it might be.”
And normally my first response is: “How is your home life?” And they’ll say: “Well, wait – what?” And I say: “Look the first step is you’re home first, and then you know your church, your community, however you serve there and then you can start reaching out in that ripple effect.”
But, you know I would always teach my children and myself we were actually right even before Christmas on Christmas Eve. We would actually go to deliver toys to homeless shelters, or to feed. And I actually had a group of 150 entrepreneurs in my local community, that had started and I would get them to volunteer as well. And so I always believed that you have to lead first – to be an influencer just starting your home first.
KIM: Impact before income right?
TANYA: Absolutely. That’s just – I always say that the income is just an absolute given, it has to come. When you have the right intention and the right heart. But whenever you’re doing the income first – your intention is not pure. And so people can feel that and you’re not likely going to create that income that you want.
KIM: How did you come to this style of thinking, or to this process. Was it something that you always had and maybe a better follow, this is a two part question, I’m sorry Chronic Idea Disorder sort of gives you like multiple questions at one time. Could you share your journey with me and the listeners. How did he come to be where you are now?
TANYA: When it came to business or–
KIM: Yeah, when it came to your business. I mean you’re welcome to share anything more than that but, I am so intrigued by this whole thought because personally I was chasing money before passion for the longest time and I was winding up broken unhappy. So, I love that you’re putting impact and passion before profit. So yeah.
TANYA: Oh, you know I had to train myself and a lot of it is biblically but, I had to – and self-development and mentor yielding to a mentor that was really huge for me. I had to yield to a mentor and the biggest thing is I had to release myself honestly from any result because the only result that I truly truly wanted was to impart a piece of myself into someone else that I could create impact and leave a legacy. And so I had to reverse engineer what I wanted at first and realize that money and all those other things are just a byproduct of yielding to why you’re created and so you know I started off in corporate America and, you know I had many opportunities to grow there. And, you know I just – there was a major death – my first spouse, my high school sweetheart was killed in a hit and run motorcycle accident. And at that point it really shifted my entire life. And I said you know what. Who cares. Like in the grand scheme of things. Really. What is it going to matter? Because money you don’t necessarily – you can leave that behind but what impact is it really going to make as opposed to a message. You know wisdom and leaving those things behind will make a bigger impact. And at that point, I had to really take a look at that and that’s kind of what shifted a lot of my perspective.
But I did you know struggle a bit. I mean I had to push past that thinking because I’m going to say this briefly that – we’re trained this way, we’re trained to think about money before anything else. Think about it when we’re in school. Even from young age. What is it always that we’re taught. If you go to school, she can go to get a better job to get better money. And, you know then go by the material things you want, we’re never really trained to step into the call that we have in our life no matter what that cost is and I’ll say this I learned even this, Mother Teresa she made over 100 million dollars with 30 books.
KIM: How much a hundred million? Yeah, with 30 books.
KIM: I’ve never associated Mother Teresa with money.
TANYA: You would never think that. But that’s how she was able to make a lot of the different impact and she you know what she was downloaded. She had the wisdom she said: “OK this is what I’m going to do. The strategy was given, I’m going to write books” so I could write books, but still pursue what I want to pursue which is, you know helping the community and being that figure. She won a Nobel Peace Prize, so many things have happened. Now that was a byproduct of her just expressing her wisdom. She didn’t ask for don’t, you know all these donations, they just gave because, she you know stewarded over and did those things and you know so many things you can find online about it but we’re trained this way from high school from young and we’re never – the funny part is we’re never taught how to manage our money really. So we kind of go on this crazy you know thing and then we’re not productive in our life period because, you know productivity essentially is searching for a focal point a destination that you’re going through and aligning the things, you know activities and things like that in life that are going to get you to that point.
KIM: You’re completely blowing my mind and just this past summer actually I am – so, about nine months ago I was first introduced to Danielle LaPorte and previous just previous to that I was really in probably one of the worst spots of my life just because, my business wasn’t going where I wanted it because, I was all about money. I have to be honest. I had a business coach, not my current business but I had a coach who was all about money. So what’s going to make you money right now. You know forget about the thing, you know I’m passionate about and that’s such a wrong coach. And when I read to some I went backwards but I read the desire met first and it was a huge eye opening, but I also am a Christian. And finally when I got back to you reading bible – my mind and my spiritual side all together everything shifted and, you know people say there’s like a that AHA moment. Closest I ever come to singing on this show..
TANYA: It’s so funny.
KIM: Nobody wants to hear me sing. I’ll get automatic unsubscribes. But that was, that was really it and everything started to change. So, where did it go then after after the death of your husband? How did you start taking that?
TANYA: Well at that point you know I decided – “OK Life is too short. What am I going to leave behind for my children and what impact am I going to be able to make.” And really you know when I look at what I do as a Branding Mentor, I essentially realize that people are not coming for just, you know the graphics, understanding their clarity and their moments and all these things with they’re coming for essentially is a search for significance.
And so that grabbed me, and when I really understood that, that really pushed a lot forward. Now I did a lot of different things. I was a professional photographer for many years, and I did affiliate marketing and a little bit of everything because, I was trying to figure out exactly where I was going, and I really didn’t have that guidance, but I just went out and I said: “OK let me try it. Let me do it.” And didn’t really know where to look or anything. So that’s what I did. I just started, I heard somebody a lot of people saying I had a very good talent in photography, I had taken photography when I was younger. I loved graphics and creative. So, I started going which is very important if anybody listening – I started taking a program, I went to school and I got education on it. I didn’t just say: “Hey! guess what I’m going to go call myself a professional photographer.”
So, I started on that journey and then eventually you know I started I had one person that met me for breakfast and she started, you know talking to me, and then all of a sudden it became three, and then it became seven, and then it became – we took over the restaurant at like 11 people. And then at that point they had a meeting room that we just, we would have breakfast with each other at once a month, and everybody would pay, and they would come and we grew to over 150, you know coming and going essentially entrepreneurs that we affected the community. I would have family day, and I would you know we had times that we would go and help. There was a family that was struggling and so we went and help rebuild their basement. We worked with multiple places, and so you know we did things like that. And so that’s kind of that little journey. And then once my neck was hurting my back was hurting. Everything was going insane. I was like: “I can’t do this for this long weddings and just head shots and magazines I couldn’t it was just too much and I didn’t want that lifestyle anymore.”
So, many people ask – many people say: “OK, I’m going to build my business” but my question always is: “What lifestyle do you want? so, we know how to build your business.” And so the lifestyle I wanted need to shift because, I wasn’t doing things, and it wasn’t building that way, and I wasn’t about to shift my lifestyle. I was going to make my business shift not my lifestyle that I wanted.
So, I went ahead and I, you know had to figure that part out and started going on that journey and really identifying where I want to go, and that’s how I got on line, and I started shifting things online. But you know you had mentioned this one thing about, you know you’re one of your coaches or so on and so forth, and you know say: “OK, how can you create money?” and we’re already identify that money makes the world go around and a lot of different areas in order to make impact. You do need financials. Right? You need to eat and you need those things.
But one thing I realized – why a lot of people approach this way is because, when you’re drowning – what do you think about, you think about air. You don’t think about that you’re in a pool, that it’s pretty shallow that you could bounce up, that somebody – you don’t see their hand coming out to you you don’t see the opportunities to breath, you just you know I want air. So, a lot of times we have to get people past the part of drowning – first so, they can understand and see the opportunities and then be able to say: “OK, I’m going to grab that hand or I’m going to bounce back and I’m going to take a big gulp of air you know when I pop back up or however the case may be.” And so sometimes that’s why coaches or individuals will get there because most people will not receive any thing until you get them past a certain point of thinking because, then even if you were to get them anywhere past that without producing income they’re going to have like that ADD, and they’re not really helping the produce and they’re not realizing the results that they’re getting mentally. And that is worth more than anything because, people can take everything away from you but they could never take your experience or your knowledge.
KIM: That’s so deep. And no pun intended, you’re talking about the shallow part of the pool but, well, you’re right. But what if the change came from helping them make a little bit of money off, of what they’re passionate about, instead of you know.
KIM: In the wrong direction. But I need to back up. I’m you just you. I was you just said shifting your business instead of shifting your lifestyle. Can you talk more about that because, I realized and I’m really trying to course correct. I’ve started reclaiming my nights my weekends.
TANYA: Good for you.
KIM: But it’s just so hard, right, because your business just starts to creep in everything. I mean if you’re not careful you’ve got your smartphone next to your bed and you start hearing the notifications at 2:00 o’clock in the morning and then it takes over everything. So, lets back up to that.
TANYA: OK. So essentially, what my husband and I had to do we have our children and what we had to do is sit down and we just say: “What is their end result?” I believe that God put you together in marriage for a purpose. It’s not just for, you know sexual pleasures and fun and children and family and you know just travel. It’s not just that there is the union a purpose in every relationship, even with your children. There is a purpose behind it. And so we had to sit down, and say: “What are our non-negotiables for our family.” Because the anything that you do repeatedly and this also handles a lot with productivity in your daily tasks are going to yield something, right? And so the really big shift in our mind is: “What were we doing that was yielding us the result that we had.” And “what was the result we wanted?” and then reverse engineer and start taking out the things that were giving us the result that we did not want because, everything everything that we do repeatedly will eventually manifest into something. And so we sat down and we said: “What are our non-negotiables?” I don’t care if it was getting my nails done so I could feel great when I’m alive or whatever for my blue hair. You know getting my hair done. My husband’s you know shaving and my children’s you know Shape-Ups, financially what were non-negotiables, and then couple wise, and family wise, what are non-negotiables? And then what we did from there is if we said: “OK, we’re going to go on a date. So and so forth. This time we’re going to a family day on Saturday whatever it is” I would take out my calendar and a lot of times my husband have we have a shared calendar as well. On our phone for the Google. But I have my written plan because I like to write. So, I took the non-negotiables and I blocked it out before he did anything else before, I scheduled podcast speaking engagements, writing my book. I don’t care what it was – that had to come first because, I had to realize that influence started in my home. And so what was that? Even my time with God everything, I had to figure out and put that into my non-negotiables eventually, and it was uncomfortable to plan everything in the first beginning part. And I used to have alarms on my phone to remind me, all types of stuff but, I had to start something as uncomfortable as it might be. And I remember in corporate America, I’d always give excuses, I don’t know if you’ve ever done this but I’d be like take off because, I have a doctor’s appointment and my child is sick, and I’d go on this long rant – to try to justify why it was valid that I was taking off and I brought that into my work. “I’m so sorry you know what I have to take my kids and the things I can’t do that appointment and it’s like” – That is irrelevant, they don’t need to know that, they just need to know you have an appointment. So, it’s you know: “I’m sorry, I’m completely booked on Saturday.” I didn’t tell him that, that was my family day that, that was that meant a lot for my kids, and that’s why I couldn’t do it. I didn’t sound needy, I literally shook my whole mind and said: “I am disconnecting from the result. If they don’t want to work with me, they don’t want to work with me. If you want to work with me, you’re going to stick with me, and you’re going to do according to my schedule. However the case may be.” So, I had to remove myself from any results. In the end. So, when I did that, I literally let go of that burden of having to produce income or that burden of having to chase after clients or anything. I no longer began chase. I no longer chase anymore because I was aligning. You know in God there’s order and everything that we do – order. And the minute you don’t have order, and I say order and not balance for a reason but the reason why we have order, is to make sure that things flow. And so the minute I put my family ahead, and the responsibility of my children’s lives ahead. Everything was beautiful. I’d go on Monday mornings, I take off the weekend, I’d go on Monday mornings, and I have a slew of conversations and e-mails and people who want to book with me and my calendar and things like that. And that was it. I wasn’t lazy now, when I had to work, I work, I focused, I was productive, I had my timer set, and I had certain things that I needed to do. But that’s what my husband and I did. We just said: “OK, what is that end result?” and we set non-negotiables we scheduled those first, and we were not moved. We were not shaken, and we were not in a mindset of poverty that, you know if I don’t do this because, I had been on enough appointments to realize that it didn’t matter. Every time I moved pass and I gave people that leniency they didn’t book with me anyway because, I had no authority. I didn’t set the frame to say how valuable it is to work with me, when I can just you know what I mean.
KIM: Oh yeah. And taking what you’ve just been saying directly I mean, I’ve stopped. I tried to stop. I can’t say 100% but I really tried to stop responding to e-mails after a certain point of day. It can’t always be 5 o’clock Eastern because, I do have client from the West Coast or around the world. You know they’re still working. But when you build the expectation that you’re always going to be answering e-mails, all night and on weekends. It’s what they come to expect. So, I know it’s scary but people can wait.
TANYA: Absolutely. It’s not my fault that you’re international. I can’t – You hired me because, you wanted me. You knew when you hired me that I was – East Coast. I can’t yield to that. When we came to a contract, I like to say agreement. When we came to this agreement of relationship, OK relationship, we agreed that I was a fit for you and you were fit for me and we would go ahead and we would have that relationship together. But, I told you as well, that I am eastern time I told you what I would require of you. So, if you come back to me and tell me that this is not fitting your schedule, that is not my problem.
KIM: I am being schooled in the best possible way.
TANYA: I mean your emergency, is not my emergency. Your emergency is nine. I learned this a long time ago. Your emergency, is literally 10 times out of ten you procrastinating, and that is definitely not my issue. I love people, I do and, I love my students. I have such a connection with my students, but I don’t give sloppy love either because that’s not going to help you grow. I hold you to a standard of excellence and I will not – I refuse to lower my standard because, of your inconsistencies. That’s why you hired me.
KIM: I know you better watch out for my husband, he’s going to come and find you and give you a big hug and say: “Thank you!”. He told me a couple of years ago now: “Be the Bonzai, baby.”
TANYA: There you go.
KIM: Well I started to, like I’ve really been a lot better about embracing it. Listeners, I know this is a Positive Productivity Podcast that does not mean – I’m perfect, and I am really trying to embrace everything, that everybody talks about and all the lessons that I even try to preach. But, you know we’re still human and I still have learning to do on my own. However he said: “Be the Bonzai” cut of the weaker branches and the stronger ones grow. You, you are totally right. In all aspects what I meant. Unless I allow them to have that space. Wow, I can hear the light bulb going off all over the place. Oh, by the way listeners, when you want to go and you know say: “Huge thanks” to Tanya you can find the show notes at TheKimSutton.com/PP090, and there you’ll find any links resources that we talk about in this episode. Not that we’re wrapping up yet but, I you know you want to get in touch already.
So, I’m going to back up for a second because, you said you know balance is a completely different thing. And I love that because, I think I agree with what I – that came out totally wrong. If I know what you’re talking about, I agree. So could you tell about what you were saying a Positive Productivity Theory. I have trouble thinking or getting word out of my mouth. What are your thoughts about balance? Does it exist? Can it exist? And yeah you just take it from here.
TANYA: I don’t think so. I personally don’t. When I look at the – I’m a very big word, and definition person so, you know when I look at the context of what the word actually means it means to evenly, obviously, evenly distribute something, right like weight or you know you could do actions or whatever the case may be.
I don’t think that’s possible. Because if I say that: “God is a jealous God” thing I have to spend time there and then there’s times that I have to give more to my marriage than in my business. And then there’s more times that I have to give more to my business, and I work late and I have to kind of excuse myself from you know I have to say: “Honey, I’m going to be working late. For the next couple of days, I got to finish some stuff. You know can you make sure that dinner is cooked, and so on and so forth and just kind of help me out or whatever.” And then there’s times that I say: “Absolutely not. I there’s no business, there’s no nothing. My kids come first. I’m gonna go ahead” Like last year we took a whole month off – whole month just went traveled and hung out with the kids. And that was it.
KIM: Oh, we have a whole other episode.
TANYA: Yeah, absolutely. So you know, we just left and we went out and then finally we’re like: “Hey! let’s just stay longer” and I was like: “OK, well that’s fine. I have, like maybe a little few things that I have to do that were scheduled, but I’ll just go ahead and just pre-record or do whatever and then knock them out.” So there was like one or two times I went to the coffee shop or something and did some work or whatever. But other than that we were in the RV and on our family property and hung out and traveled and saw the family and stuff like that so we had a good time.
So, I just don’t believe that you can absolutely, evenly, distribute everything – everything like there was a time that last year I went into a lot of health issues, and I realized that I had to cut out soy, and gluten, like just the wheat aspect, just a bunch of stuff. And so, I also had surgery, had a major hysterectomy and some other added stuff. And so with all that – how can you keep balance? That pressure of having to be balanced always in my mind always came to that perfection of evenly weighing everything out. And it couldn’t be, I had to give time for myself to recoup. And then I had to say: “If 80% is that time, and working out, and staying healthy then what am I going. What comes next? What has to come next?” And I had to prioritize. So I don’t always believe in balance. That’s just me personally. I’m just one that really looks at the definitions, and the things of words, and I think that I know that whenever you say balance it stresses people out, because they feel – perfection. They feel you know you have to – everything has to be equal. And you know what I mean, now I get the whole fairness justice that’s a different kind of aspect when you look at balance in the world and things like that. But I just don’t quite believe in it. Not in this life.
KIM: I agree. So interesting that you just said fairness and justice because I’m picturing one of those balances in my head. But instead of having the two sides, I’m seem like four or five different points, I don’t even know what they’re called. You know circling around it, in any given time it could be a little bit heavier on one of those. But you can’t really just go where you’re needed taking, taking into account what you need personally first.
KIM: Going back to making an impact, and seeing how you can become an authority in your home, and in your local community and then out there on the web. I’m just going to use a personal example, above my desk I have a white board with all the different areas of my business that I’m trying to grow. For example the podcast, listeners, I will not deny that I would love to have sponsors as of when this episode releases, I don’t know if that will happen yet. So that is one part of my whiteboard is the podcast and a hope or what I will make per episode per sponsors.
And then there’s other things I’m working on, like the planner and the app. Do you believe that when people are mapping out our business like that. Should it have a financial value attached to it or leave that off the map. Don’t worry about it, just be concerned with the product that you’re producing and the impact that you’re making.
TANYA: No! Absolutely put a monetary value. Absolutely. There’s two reasons one write down what you’re going to do with that money. OK, write down what you’re going to do with that money. When you say OK I want to make 20,000 you know, off my course. I should say, or one on one or whatever you’re going to do. Let’s just say that’s 20,000 is a figure. Break it down. What does that 20,000 mean to you? Put meaning behind the money. It’s not just I want to make 20,000, see whenever we do goals, we always do goals in the sense of: “I want to – I’m going to reach 20k” but why? For what? What are you going to do, to do that? So,you want a podcast that is sponsored for what? You want to have three sponsors this month. And how were you going to do that? Right. By the different projects that you have. But what is the purpose of having three sponsors? You want to have three sponsors so, you could make ten grand a month and then be able to do what? You know, given to your community. You want to take 10% or give you know 3,000 to a nonprofit locally. You want to go ahead, and you want to fund your next book that comes out, or you want to have those that way you can have your planner paid for, or whatever the case – we have to put accountability in our goals.
And many times when we do goals, we don’t do that, and we also, while it’s not money driven, we need to also understand that money has a weight, and it has a value, and it has a purpose, and you’ll attract that money with your stewardship, and you’ll have that, because you’ll have a motivation to say: “I want to make this, because I want to do this” And when you put that emotional attachment, when you put that understanding, that goal to it, you have a purpose behind what you’re doing. See whenever you’re–
KIM: Motivations behind you..
TANYA: -Exactly. And that’s what it is. It’s almost like when we say prayers. its like – I’m going to pray for you know financials. Why are you praying for financial? So, you could do what? Do you think that it’s just going to rain down financials? We have the power to create wealth so, we create it. But what are we creating it for? Because, everything has a purpose. And so when you really put a purpose behind it, you know I think some people like they can go to the extreme, right and say: “Oh my gosh! I don’t want to talk about money at all. It’s really about the you know the person, and the value, and all the sweet spot, and the good feelings, and you know say serra serra…” which is great. I agree. Always put the person first, and your intentions make it pure. But do more, you know think about more than just that. Think about, how you’re going to be able to impact more people with the finances that you’re going to make? And when you think about it that way your intention is still absolutely pure.
I mean I have you know students that I work with, and I’m always looking of how I could bless them and over deliver, always but that comes with financials as well, and I can’t be silly to not think that. Right. I mean because you know I’d like to just send flowers. You know I had my assistant and she was so struggling with her tooth, and where she lives. It was a big struggle so, my husband and I paid for her dental. That is the impact that we want to make now. Do I care about the financials? No, not really, but I know that it’s necessary, but I didn’t go out trying to pursue financials. I pursued the legacy, and the compassion and leading influentially, and that attracted it. So, I do believe that you should put, you know certain aspects of financials and things like that so you can keep your vision going.
KIM: Where’s your book in this?
TANYA: (laugh) You’re recording it, you didn’t know. When you give it to me, I’ll get it. It’s my transcription.
KIM: You can have it, oh my gosh. Listeners, shortly after, hopefully you’ll be fine this on the Amazon.
TANYA: Yeah. Right (laugh)
KIM: Oh wow. We are not going to break this up in the multiple segment. I’m making the executive decision that you’re coming back again. You have no choice.
TANYA: OK (laugh)
KIM: This has been fantastically awesome. What are you working on right now that you would really love or with you know about. And we’re we can we find you?
TANYA: So, they can find me at thetruthpreneur.com or you can just go to any form of social media and hit thetruthpreneur. I actually just, I do have a planner that actually came out, and took a different spin to that so it’s like a Four in One Planner and that could be /fourinoneplanner and they can check that out there. And I give a course as well on that like a mini course, but for the most part where I’m headed right now, in business is – I love the impact and I love the beauty of working one on one with people life.
And so I’ve actually transitioned to be able to have like an urban be around here, and get that property and I’m going to be inviting individuals for an immersion, and so they’ll have three days fully with me and they’ll have the opportunity to have their headshots, and all the the physical part of the branding done as well. But, it’s going to be mostly geared towards the mental state, and breaking them through so, they can really identify where they’re called, and how they operate according to their personality. I’m so huge on personality types so, that they can really understand that. So we’re going to have that three immersion with me. So that’s going to be coming out.
KIM: That’s awesome. And listeners, again all of these , all of the links will be in the show notes. I was actually just trying to find her and I want to tell you how many different wings think you the four in one. So, we’re going to put that in the show notes, but because .com/four – —
TANYA: the number four, the number four and the number one planner.
KIM: I tried that onto the first sort of I tried know was something about Denver schools being whole. So yeah that’s why show notes are so necessary listeners, if you’re trying to do a podcast, make sure you got them.
KIM: I am so excited learning more about your emerging sound. Absolutely fabulous. Thank you so much again for being here you’ve completely blown my mind in multiple ways. I thought it was already taking back nice and easy, but you just taught me even so much more. Do you have any closing thoughts you’d like to share with the listeners before we go.
TANYA: You know honestly, business is a journey. It becomes a part of your lifestyle and how you run and you’re always excited to do what you love to do, and you should always, you know obviously step into what we spoke about before – doing what you love to create income and to monetize it. But you know while you’re doing that don’t forget to live, and make sure that you put priorities and non-negotiables in your life, because in the end you know your legacy does carry on the strongest with your family, and your community. And so just look at that, and then look at the aspect of how you could be such an impact and not be selfish in the world to just lead with value. I know a lot of people are so struggling on giving their content away for free, and wondering how they’re going to make money. And so they hold back the best parts of them that, would really attract people to them, and help people break free. So, I’m just going encourage don’t care about the end result. Just live your message!