PP 245: Stop Being Afraid of the Word “No”

Saying the word “No” can be scary. We’re concerned people will lose respect for us, will speak poorly of us, and/or think we’re incapable. But the word “Yes” does more damage than any fallout of “No” ever could. Listen to hear my thoughts.

Saying the word 'No' can be scary. Listen as @thekimsutton discusses why we need to say it more in our #family, #smallbiz and life in general: http://www.thekimsutton.com/pp245 #podcastClick To Tweet

Episode Transcription

Today is the day I want you to stop being afraid of the word “no”. I don’t know about you, but I have been afraid of the word “no” my whole life. Since I started this podcast, I have been able to embrace the word and use it freely.

Let me give you a few examples, starting with my kids. In case you haven’t listened before, I have five. They are constantly asking for things. “Mom, can I have candy? Mom, can I have donuts? Mom, will you buy me this? Mom, can you take me here? Mom, can you take me there?”

Just “No.”

First, candy’s going to rot your teeth and you shouldn’t be eating it for every meal. So, maybe child, if you eat your vegetables then you might be able to get dessert and I may or may not have bought candy at the store.

And, child who wants to be driven somewhere, did you talk to me about it beforehand? If not, no.

Yes, it’s amazing to be a mompreneur and work at home. But just because I am working here does not mean I am a child chauffeur and I can drive kids everywhere they want to go all the time. By starting to tell the kids no, they have realized that they have to do things in order to get things.

And, that’s how it is for us, too. If we don’t do our job, we don’t get paid. If the kids don’t eat their vegetables, they don’t get dessert.

If they don’t schedule time into my calendar for when they want to go hang out with friends, then they’re not getting a ride. I’m sorry child, but that’s just the way it is. And the same has had to go for clients as well.

“Did you schedule time into my calendar? Because, I’m sorry, my calendar’s full.”

Actually, I’m not really sorry. I don’t know why, but I say it so much. But no, I do not have time to talk to you right now and I also don’t have time to work on that project. If you want to schedule time in for me to work on it later this week or next week, then sure, I’ll be happy to accommodate you.

For the first three and a half years of my business, I was saying “Yes” to everything, and as a result, I was getting stressed out.

I wasn’t sleeping or eating, and I was barely using the restroom.

The word “yes” can be our worst enemy and we have to learn how to embrace the word “no” like it’s our best friend. The word “no” opens up so many yeses in our future. It opens up so many opportunities and the only way we can allow ourselves time, mental space, and calendar space for all of those big yeses is to embrace the word “no” now.

So, I want to challenge you to stop being afraid of the word “no”.

If you’re driving in your car right now, or if you’re working in your office and you are afraid of the word “no”, I want you to say it five to 10 times right now, like you mean it. If you’re at the gym, you might not want to start shouting the word “No!” out because you might scare people. They might think you’re having a heart attack.

But I want you, when you get into your car, to embrace it, shout it. Let the world know that “no” is your new word.

So join me. Stop being afraid of the word “No” and let’s go forward together and make it a positive and productive day.