PP 282: Your Inherited Purpose with Michael Schreiber

“Don’t know too much. Don’t be too smart… Get out of your own way of allowing surprise and creativity into your life.”

Michael was an actor in New York City who gained a reputation as an acting coach. From there, Michael realized his skills as a coach could benefit business owners and executives as well.

Michael and I chat about inherited purpose, income vs. impact, cutting the weaker branches out of our life and more.

 

Highlights:

00:51 Michael’s Personal Development Journey
07:51 Our Inherited Purpose
13:07 Allow Something Different to Emerge
17:56  Be the Bonsai
23:53 The Measure of Success
26:34 Everything Right or Wrong
30:15 Happy Accidents
34:53 Adults are Kids Too!
37:54 Don’t be so Smart

 

@thekimsutton and @schreibrations chat about #inherited purpose, #income vs. #impact, cutting the weaker branches out of our life and more! Listen at: https://www.thekimsutton.com/pp282 #positiveproductivity #podcast #followyourdreams #bethebonsai #freeexpression Click To Tweet

Connect with Michael

Michael Schreiber is an actor turned business strategy consultant. He helps small business owners align who they are and what they love with how they make money so that they can enjoy and prosper in their professional lives without having to manage multiple personalities.

Having worked extensively as an acting coach and director, Michael helps his clients communicate their stories stunningly, strategically, and with an eye on sales. Today, he is a sought after gun-for-hire, contracting with some of the most successful coaches, speakers, and consultants in the industry, in addition to serving his own clients.

Michael is also the host of Clearing the Path, a podcast produced in partnership with the Shantigar Foundation for Theater, Contemplation, and the Healing Power of Nature. Clearing the Path explores the means and methods that have helped others to get out of their own way so that they can perform clear-sighted and successful artistic and social actions.

Resources: 

Podcast

 

Inspirational Quotes:

06:32 “We could be whatever we wanted to be. If we’re going to be the best garbage person, we could be a garbage person. Just go out and follow your dreams.”  -Kim Sutton

07:31 “Don’t follow money, do what makes you happy.” -Kim Sutton

16:37 “Surrounding ourselves with people that support us in the ways that we want to make changes takes making it a priority.” -Michael Schreiber

21:08 “It will never be perfect, there’s always work to do. Clearing the path helps us remove obstacles from our own way. We can remove obstacles for other people, and there’s also the joy of that activity.” -Michael Schreiber

22:07 “Cut the weaker branches off so that the stronger ones can grow.” -Kim Sutton 

22:54 “The taking away process can be the most compassionate way to move through a space.” -Michael Schreiber 

29:26 “Everyone is totally capable of growth. But adults tend to grow very incrementally in ways, because they have to deconstruct so many ideas about life and all the things that we learned as kids.” -Michael Schreiber

31:03 “There needs to be something taught about happy little accidents, improvisation,  and keeping your chin high, knowing that you’re doing the best that you can.” -Kim Sutton  

31:47 “ If kids are worried about being right or wrong, self expression isn’t as available. It can be easy from a place of freedom to be a better-better. That goes with everything.” -Michael Schreiber 

34:54 “Just do it, don’t be so worried about perfection.” -Kim Sutton  

36:06 “Adults are kids too. We deserve the same things where the sun is shining for us today. We can have the same compassion for ourselves.” -Michael Schreiber 

38:04 “Don’t know too much. Don’t be too smart… Get out of your own way. Allow surprise and creativity into your life.” –Michael Schreiber

Episode Transcription

Kim Sutton: Welcome back to another episode of the Positive Productivity Podcast. This is your host, Kim Sutton. I’m so happy that you’re here to join us today. I’m also thrilled to introduce our guests, Michael Schreiber. Michael’s an independent business strategy consultant, and the host of Clearing the Path Podcast. 

Welcome, Michael. I’m so happy that you’re here.

Michael Schreiber: Thanks, Kim. thrilled to be here.

Kim Sutton: Michael, I would love it if you would jump in and give more of an introduction to the listeners of who you are and how you’ve gotten to where you are today.

Michael Schreiber: Sure, sure. Well, as you mentioned, I’m currently working now as a business strategist, I do that independently, sometimes with other coaches as well. I found a lot of different opportunities for partnership with different people where sometimes they think I’ll be a good fit to work with their clients for a while. So what’s nice about that is the opportunity to learn and see the inside of different businesses as I continue to build my own emerging practice. I started as a coach when I was an actor in New York City. And it’s really interesting, because in some ways, I feel like I never left acting classes. I went to New York because I was very encouraged as an actor, and I found that it was never about show business for me as much as being in front of people. And using my instrument as an actor, my physical instrument, my vocal, my emotional instrument to communicate with audiences to tell stories. So that was the beginning of personal development for me because that did not come naturally. But the more that I studied, and the more that I took risks, the more I was able to communicate and present myself in more and more expansive ways. And that was the hook for me into personal development. 

But what happened there was instead of everyone asking me to continue to act, which did happen for a while, everyone started, well, they invite me to audition for different roles or anything else in New York. And I certainly worked quite a bit, but I noticed that everyone wanted me to coach. If there was ever an opportunity to teach young and beginning actors, whether it was friends, or my representation agents and managers were, could you please work with this group of people I have? I was invited to speak at industry conventions where a lot of people, often children were coming from all over the country to see a hundred agents, managers, casting directors, and it would bring me in to help these new people understand the audition process put their best foot forwards in their auditions. And somehow naturally from that, these young actors and the parents of them wanted to get work in the industry. So they started asking me, well, now that we are pursuing this and working to better ourselves as a talent, how do we then take that and get jobs? 

So what’s evolved for me and what seems to be a straight line even though I do not audition in showbiz anymore, I do live in Los Angeles, but I have no interest in pursuing the industry that way because my creative mind has latched on to an extension of business strategy and consulting in ways that was honed working with actors who I often say are the most difficult small businesses to run, because they’re in a marketplace that is super supply sided. There’s so many more actors than there are jobs, then the actor themselves is the product, as well as the executive team. They’re having to do the sales and marketing. But through all those things that they have to do, they have to understand where they fit into a marketplace that really has no interest in them being in it. So all the challenges inherent in that was what got me really interested in, well, how does entrepreneurship work? Because I want to help these actors cut through all of those different things so that they can stand out in a way that they can present themselves as employable. And then what is in their control to do in an industry where so much isn’t in their control? So that was how I got into business strategy. And then it just became something where people wanted me to use the same skills that I was already using to help them become better speakers, but then also to help them build businesses. And that’s where I find myself today. Equal parts surprised to be here, and aware that it seems to be a totally natural extension of the creative growth that I was seeking the first time I took an acting class 20 some years ago.

Kim Sutton: Wow. If you went back and told yourself 27 years ago that this is where you would be today, what do you think of what you, the past, would say?

Michael Schreiber: In some way, I guess if I really was that, I maybe would have just said, huh, interesting. And I say it that way because I was so undecided growing up. I went to college because it was what people did, and also because my mom taught at a university. So it was an opportunity for me to go to school for free. Looking back, I’m so grateful, of course, not having the debt and all those things. But it was also just this preordained thing. My mom would joke with me that when she was pregnant with me, she had this job teaching and she was thinking, I’m going to be a college professor, at least until my kids get through school. So I always feel like I was indoctrinated into, well, I know I’ll go to school for free. And it’s not that she would have forbid me to go anywhere else if I wanted to, but I never had that impetus. I was so much more interested my whole life in exploring different things versus knowing I never had that sense that I see some amazing people have. Mentors of mine that I’m always impressed when someone says, I know exactly what it is they want to do. I didn’t have that. And as a result, I’ve lived this life that has been very exploratory. I really haven’t lived in the same year twice. I’ve lived all over the country, I’ve done a lot of different things so it’s allowed my predispositions to emerge, it’s allowed my career and my lifestyle to be informed by trying so many different things. So if I really talked to myself, then I think I would have understood that that’s fascinating. I would have had no idea how I would have gotten to that point because it wasn’t at all on my radar when I was in college 20 years ago.

Kim Sutton: Yeah. I was raised in a family where we were taught that we could be whatever we wanted to be. If we’re going to be the best garbage person, we could be a garbage person. Just go out and follow your dreams. However, the whole family had gone through college. SEven though it wasn’t said, it was expected. I started reading the big Barron’s college books when I was a freshman or sophomore in high school, making a list of all the different schools I would look at, and I was set on being an interior designer or an architect. But I think looking back now, it was because I thought I could make a lot of money. And I wish if I could go back and tell myself, the me of 27 years ago, I just had to do a little bit of math and see how all that would have been. Okay, listeners, I think it’s the first time I’m actually sharing my age. Right about the time when this episode goes out, I’ll be turning 39. But okay, so 27, yeah, I would have been 12, that would have been about the right time to start having a conversation of don’t follow money, do what makes you happy. I don’t know, maybe I still wouldn’t have gotten it until my 20’s again, but I think I would have had that conversation because so much of it was wrapped up about that. What do people want from me? What does society want, but not really, what do I want? And what’s gonna make me happy in the heart and not happy just in the wallet?

Michael Schreiber: Yeah. I think I said 20 something, it’s interesting that we jumped on these 27 numbers. So we’re about the same age. Months apart, actually. So for me, it was like I’m very aware now that many people, and myself included, even as I go through and look back at all these years of really being able to make very different choices than other people made around me because of the freedom that I worked into my life, because I had the somehow capacity to do all of that exploration. The way that I talked about with people has an inherited purpose. Where we think that we want something, but maybe it’s because people that loved us encouraged us in areas that we showed a little bit of competence. So they said, oh, you should do this for a living. Then we go to school, perhaps for those things, and we put all of this effort and energy into crafting an identity around something that seems like what the move should be. And then we carry that through often for many years. I still feel now at 39 that I’m breaking down ways that I’ve inherited ideas of things that all my life should look this way. Or these are things that I should be doing even based on the industry that I’m in, and constantly working to deconstruct those things so I can get to a place of what really feels aligned and good for me in a way that I can be surprised by the continual developments that happen in my professional life, and keep it feeling like I’m always growing and always evolving.

Kim Sutton: I am right there with you in everything that you just said. I love inherited purpose. I have never heard that before, you’ve just created a tweetable, Michael.

Michael Schreiber: A tweetable? I did?

Kim Sutton: Well, at least one.

Michael Schreiber: At least one, I’ll take it.

Kim Sutton: Who had been some of your mentors as you’ve been going through this journey

Michael Schreiber: Wow. I have been so blessed with mentors. That’s such a great question. I have to go back to my very first acting teacher, his name is Adam Hill. He currently runs a school with, you know the television show, Everybody Loves Raymond, the tall brother Brad Garrett? He’s a comedian as well. So Brad and Adam opened a school in Las Vegas because it was an underserved population. It’s a funny town. It’s like a showbiz town with all the entertainment that’s there. It’s also not a showbiz town in a typical way so there was no real acting school, and that was what Adam’s out to start there with Brad. So Adam, I met in college, he had the opportunity to start an acting program at the small school that I went to in Pennsylvania, Wilkes University. But Adam really just saw in me a willingness to learn and be vulnerable. So he just took me under his wing as a student. I was ready to graduate and he said: “No, stay here and study with me more.” So I spent many years working with him both in college and then in New York City. He just came to visit me in Los Angeles a few weeks ago, and we spent some time. He’s been a very consistent mentor that came from that interest in my own growth and development as an actor. But really, as a human being. In New York City studying acting, I had opportunities to study with some amazing teachers there. 

The one that stands out is Vincent D’Onofrio who happens to be a relatively well known actor, but very much a craftsman. While he was doing loan order, he started an acting class that I was fortunate enough to get into. So I got to spend a lot of time with him over a few years, really working on my creative instrument in that way. And then that transitioned into business coaches. I’ve been fortunate to have many friends in the personal development industry. I’ve worked at the Chopra Center with Deepak Chopra, had business mentors there, because I was essentially a sales capacity for the center, learning on the [inaudible] philosophies, and meditation yoga ayurveda, and the way that they taught it. Currently, I’ve spent a lot of time with some coaches in the industry, in their programs, also coaching in their program. So anyone that person, personal development industry may know Christian Michaelson or [inaudible], I’ve had a chance to work within their organization serving their clients. I’m leaving out so many people, but I think of the creative mentors that I’ve had, as well as the professional mentors. And then as a coach now, the mentors that are more in that industry, it’s really something that, when I think of things, I’m grateful for the mentors and the teachers that have become friends that I’ve attracted into my life is really a remarkable aspect of my journey. So yeah, great question. Thanks for asking.

Kim Sutton: I can’t remember who said it, and that’s a bad excuse, I really should just have it right next to my monitor here, but you are the average of the five people you spend the most of your time with. I’m so embarrassed to say I don’t remember who said it. I’ve seen such a shift in who I spend the most of my time with in the last five years. And taking people off of my social media just because I don’t want the negativity or I don’t want to be surrounding myself with people who are settling. Does that make sense? And not rude, hopefully.

Michael Schreiber: It makes perfect sense. So I grew up in Pennsylvania where a lot of the people that I grew up with, I think I could find relatively quickly that are in places, not only geographically in places, but also in careers or in a life situation. Again, back to inherited purpose, that looks exactly what would have been predicted back when I lived there in college 20 years ago, and it’s not a bad thing. I think the commitment to family life, the families that they’ve raised, all of those things are beautiful, wonderful and totally worthwhile. It just wasn’t my journey into those things, but I see my values have changed along with the people that I spend time with in ways that has led to just an objectively more dynamic life, and has allowed me to continue to scrape away those inherited purposes that may have come into my life and to allow something different to emerge. And that’s what’s been very interesting for me in my life. I don’t see it as a difference of right and wrong, but I do see it as, because I have a sense of guiding it, that I’m being very conscious about those people I spend time with so that I can move in different ways. And it’s remarkable, it is really remarkable. I first read it through Robert Kiyosaki. I don’t know if he said it first, but that was where I first came across. It was in one of his books many years ago so I don’t know if that helps.

Kim Sutton: Yeah, thank you. I’m gonna have to look it up because I’m pretty sure it wasn’t Robert, but I know that I’ve heard it so many different places.

Michael Schreiber: One thing that he said about is that, it’s any area of your life, because I think he talked about at first with income where your income will be the average of the five people you spend the most time. It was also in terms of how much love you feel in your life, how connected you feel to your family, if you look at the people you spend the most time with is probably, whatever it is, whatever lens you want to put on it, you’re probably going to end up the average of those same five people in all those different aspects.

Kim Sutton: I never thought about it that way before, but that makes so much sense. Intellectually in business purpose wise and business motivation wise, I can totally see where I am taking up the ladder. But let me tell you, listeners, you’ve heard me talking over the last couple months about how I’ve given up soda. My family drink soda. I know I could shut it down, but that would also require shutting down my husband’s soda consumption, which is just not gonna happen. But also the diet is not the best around here. I know that if I want to take it to the next level, I’ve got to surround myself with people who can teach me how to do better, and then I can start bringing it back into the family. So I had never thought about it outside of just finances and career wise. That’s awesome.

Michael Schreiber: I’m so glad that maybe I don’t know if it’s a tweetable, but I’m glad that there’s an impact there for you. It’s a big realization, that diet one is huge. The diet one is huge. I’m often shocked when I go into, I was on a road trip yesterday stopping for gas, there’s all this real estate dedicated to only terrible food options at gas stations all over these highways and everything, and I just think how there is not one thing here that really feels optimal. And then I think of the environment that many people in this country perhaps go through where there aren’t those healthy options available. So to really pursue that, takes prioritization. Surrounding ourselves with people that support us in the ways that we want to make changes takes making it a priority. So I think it is this, being a sense, like having a sense of choosing those people in ways where we’re an understanding of, if I can be my best, I have to take responsibility for that for not only just for me, but for everyone in my life. And sometimes, that means outgrowing people as difficult as that may be. Because if I really want to be the best for this person, I say I’m outgrowing this particular aspect, that I have to protect myself enough to allow myself to spend time with people who are going to support me in that area. And ultimately, that will make me more valuable to everyone, including those people that I’m choosing to spend less time with in these areas. So yeah, I’m very assertive about that in my life.

Kim Sutton: Oh, definitely. Romacio Fulcher was the guest on episode 274, listeners, there will be a link in the show notes. And he taught me that the word decide, I think it was the word decide actually means to cut off, which I had never heard before.

Michael Schreiber: Right. Scissors are the same like incisive, decisive scissors. It’s all that cutting away.

Kim Sutton: Yeah, definitely. I would love it if you would share more about your podcast, but how did you begin your podcasting journey? And yeah, just tell us more about your show.

Michael Schreiber: Sure. So my show is called Clearing the Path. It started with the idea that I really like conversations, it just became what is it that I can do in my business that would allow me to market in a way that I can enjoy it. I know I don’t want to spend a lot of time writing even though I write well, and then there’s obviously still writing that comes up. But I thought, well, it’s not that I want to just blog and be behind the computer that way. I’m totally comfortable on video. I just also maybe coming from a show business background. I have so much respect for production, what goes into production and doing things with quality that I think, well, yeah, video. I don’t want to be an editor all the time. And audio just became that medium where I said I love having conversations this way. As far as how the show itself came about, there’s another mentor in a way, I guess I think of it more as a friend. I have this friend and mentor who has a nonprofit center called the [inaudible] Foundation. It’s located in Western Massachusetts, on hundreds of acres of gorgeous land. His name is John Claude [inaudible], and he asked not to guard teachers, or basically helps artists and teachers to have a more profound connection to their work. If we can come from a deeper place in our work, then we can take more clear sighted action. We can be more effective, whether we’re creating art, or if it’s social action, or running a business. So how do we come from a place in ourselves where we get out of the mind and more into the body? We talk about creativity being a physical act. 

So John Claude has a lot of practice, and one of them is that he clears the woods. There’s a meditation path in his gorgeous woods in Massachusetts. So when he removes the branches and even dead twigs off of trees, sometimes just without any agenda but for the enjoyment of being in nature, moving anything dead off to the side creates this enchanted feeling of forest because guests can walk through these big areas of land, suddenly not really seeing anything dead. And when you think you’d have like a children’s storybook or something where if they were going to animate a scary forest, you’d have all these dead branches. Well, he takes all of that away. So there’s this alive enchanted feeling in the forest that is just really him expressing that he loves to spend time and interact with the land that way. So the title of the podcast is Clearing the Path that came from something very literal. And we think about, well, what are the things that don’t belong so that we can create that experience of life that feels enchanted? How can we look at ways that different people approach their lives to maybe remove inherited purpose, since that came up in our conversation, or to develop practices that support health in business, in life, breathing fresh air and recognizing that the work is never done. The path will never be clear because trees continue to grow to give off more dead branches. It will never be perfect, but there’s always the work to do. Clearing the path helps us maybe remove obstacles from our own way. We can remove obstacles for other people, but there’s also the joy of that activity. So I’m often talking with people that are running businesses, or with artists on my show. But it’s that sense of clearing the path for the joy of it, and recognizing that that work is never done, and let’s have great conversations. So that was how it started, and that’s how it was kind of ideated. And it continues to unfold just like the rest of life and career.

Kim Sutton: Michael, you know, and listeners, I hope you realize that none of the Positive Productivity Podcast episodes are scripted. We really have no idea where this conversation is going before it just gets started. So Michael, you and I haven’t talked about this at all. But one of my speaking topics is actually called, Be The Bonsai, which was based on a lesson that my husband actually taught me about cutting the weaker branches off so that the stronger ones can grow. So I was sitting here just amazed by what you were just talking about clearing the path, because it’s so in line with the bonsai.

Michael Schreiber: That’s great. I see that come up so much. I was talking about this in the context of relationships recently where sometimes there has to be some pruning, you have to prune the trees before the trees can grow again. So it doesn’t have to always look like this steady upward arc of anything we’re talking about in relationships, maybe its connection or trust in the relationship, whatever it is. It is interesting to think that we prune the tree so it can grow, and pruning involves shears. So even though there’s cutting that can, or it feels like a painful or taking away process, sometimes, that can be the most compassionate way to move through a space to clear things away, that painful that maybe if they don’t belong any more, it’s like clearing away people that maybe aren’t as supportive of this leg of your journey, or all of those things that there’s so much compassion involved in that cutting act, that clearing away act. That’s a great topic.

Kim Sutton: Oh, my gosh, yes. I did not realize until just recently, and he’s one of my virtual never met mentors, Tony Robbins. I didn’t realize that he is no longer married to the woman that he talked about early on, that he wrote his whole manifesto, and the perfect woman that he was looking for. I just always assumed that he was still with her. And they didn’t have a bad divorce, they’re actually still friends. I believe she actually works in his organization. But it was one of those things where they realized that they had outgrown each other and they were both looking for something different.

Michael Schreiber: I didn’t realize that either. I’m always amazed when there’s a very healthy break that way. And sometimes, I met someone recently that he said to me: “Well, yeah, a week ago, we had a party in his community that was for a conscious uncoupling.” So they celebrate the same way, they celebrate the marriage, they invite all their friends, they celebrate the time that they had spent together and just talks to their community about how they were going to support each other going forward. But they celebrated the break that way. It’s like we can assign meaning to things in ways that other relationship fail. That means I’m a failure, but it doesn’t have to be that at all. It can end in a healthy way too. Just like a business can, I feel like any of these areas that we go into, Kim, were talking about so many more than just one thing. It’s not just about relationships, a business can end in the same way. There may someday be a last episode of Positive Productivity. Who knows? And it could be a happy thing, or it can go on for years. The number of episodes could be the way that we look at it and determine if it’s a success, but it could have nothing to do with the number. A show can have 10 episodes and be super impactful, or thousands and only move the needle a little bit. There’s no rules to these things.

Kim Sutton: Oh, definitely. And I already consider it a success. It doesn’t matter how many downloads.

Michael Schreiber: Of course, of course.

Kim Sutton: I love seeing more. But just the fact that I got past the first two, that’s a win for me.

Michael Schreiber: It’s incredible. Just as I’m working Clearing the Path now, I’m up to Episode 5 as we record. So it’s newer for me, and it’s so exciting. But just to add to it, it’s so impressive. So there’s such a body of work. I can imagine how much you learn from it, all the other wonderful things that come from it.

Kim Sutton: Yeah, it constantly blows my mind. There are days, listeners, when I don’t necessarily want to get on and record a solo episode or a guest episode. But I have to tell you, every time I push forward and do it, I’m so thankful that I do because there’s not a day that goes by where I do not benefit as much as I hope you do, and as much as I hope the guests do. My gosh, I know you don’t have kids, so let’s just give a hypothetical situation. Let’s just say I sent you out my twins to raise, okay?

Michael Schreiber: Okay.

Kim Sutton: What is something that you would want to make sure that was instilled with them growing up? Or maybe the better way of saying, what do you think is lacking from the school system now that really needs to be taught to kids as they’re growing up?

Michael Schreiber: What a question, Kim, that’s so good. Well, when I started teaching, acting, I had the opportunity to work with kids a lot and I was always, I think something in some ways it was so rewarding. Because kids, I know I’m gonna get, specifically your question here. But the background that I would give with it is that kids wouldn’t care if I thought I were an expert. It’s like, am I there with them? Am I being real especially when I’m asking them to have a moment of being themselves in front of an audience in the context of studying acting? So many of the kids in that space would think, well, if I get all of the words, then I’m good. And if I don’t get the words right to the speech, the monologue, the scene, whatever it is, then I’m embarrassed, or I’m shy. Parents would have the same attitudes. Parents would come in, and if their kid went into an audition experience, someone in the industry is looking to create a play, or a TV show, or whatever it is and the kids would get all the words right to something and not get cast because there’s hundreds of kids looking out, they’re looking for so many different things. But what they’re really looking for is to see the personality shine through. So I felt like the thing that I was always breaking down was an idea of everything being right or wrong. So this is the school system. 

When I think of the industrial age, aspects of sitting the line right and wrong, raise your hand, it’s either A or at C. There’s no in between we’re things where the ability and the interest in expressing ideas in listening deeply to other children as they express themselves. I’m always encouraging that. Whenever I come into any, the times that I’ve gone and spoken at schools and just getting out of that idea of everything right and wrong, like, what is that I want? And how can I express that safely? It’s more about the school systems in ways that I want to see emotional intelligence encouraged more. I want to see conversation encouraged more, I want to see a sense of an ability to get up in front of people and explore how we feel. I think acting is so valuable in that way if it allows for someone to really understand that getting out of the comfort zone of, I can’t express myself in a full way and then opening up and saying, no, I can really be myself in front of a group of people that creates connection. It kind of diminishes competition. 

So these are the things that I think that world when you asked me, there’s not one thing when I say, oh, it’s instilling this thing, it’s that sense of freedom to self-express. Really, that’s what I’d be working on is creating self expressed individuals in your twins and giving them back to you in a way that I would hope that they would feel empowered. I’ve worked with kids in a way where sometimes, what’s amazing to me about kids is that I believe everyone is totally capable of growth. But adults tend to grow very incrementally in ways, because we have to deconstruct so many ideas, we have about life and all the things that we learned when were kids. The younger they are, they can grow all at once or just pop, they just expand in such a bigger way. I’ve had parents who give me feedback where sometimes, if the kid really gets that permission that, oh, my goodness, what did you do? My child comes down the stairs for breakfast as a totally different person now because it’s been made okay for them to be selfish express that way. So those with children, I’m always thinking of, are they willing to listen? Are they willing to be self-expressed in ways where it’s safe, and to get out of the world of right and wrong in a lot of those ways. I feel like I answered 20 different questions on the one you asked perhaps, how am I doing?

Kim Sutton: No, I love it. I started thinking about Bob Ross, the painter, while you were talking. Because I was thinking, I think he was talking about happy little trees, but I’m thinking about happy little accidents. There’s an expression that says, don’t cry over spilled milk. And I think even adults cry or scream over spilled coffee. When my kids drop a cup of something around here, I don’t understand why they necessarily get scared that there’s going to be punishment because it doesn’t happen. There’s a happy little accident. And so we have to go through life improvising. I think so many of us including, well, starting with childhood, we’re worried about improvisation. What do we do if it doesn’t go right the first time? And I was guilty of it myself. I would just give up, it didn’t go right, that means I can’t do it. But there needs to be something taught about happy little accidents, improvisation and keeping on, keeping on. Keep your chin high, and know that you’re doing the best that you can. Because I think that that’s just something that, I mean, I’ve seen it on Little League fields where parents are getting upset because they struck out. Give them a break, they’re doing the best that they can, and it’s not going to help if you’re shoving down their throat. And by the time they’re an adult, if it doesn’t go right, then they’re going to be doing the same to themselves inside their heads.

Michael Schreiber: It’s so interesting because it’s always, I feel like the lesson is in any of these places, I feel like the child in Little League is more likely to connect with the ball given the freedom to strike out and have their experience. If they’re worried about being right or wrong, then it self expression isn’t as available. So if they can not be worried about right or wrong, if they could actually get out of that and be in the moment to have fun and self expression is available, it can be easy then from that place of freedom to be a better, better. That’s with everything. If they’re worried about right or wrong as an actor, then they get up, they’re more likely to forget the lines because everything is tied to, am I getting the words right? 

But I think when they find that, oh, there’s creativity available here, there’s a feeling of being creative and let go in a way where I’m surprised along with everyone else on how I express myself in these ways. And then that feels good. I have to kind of go into this. I haven’t spent time with parents and actresses for a while. But when I would work with families that way, I always found it most effective because the parents wouldn’t undo the work that I was doing in my classes right away if they saw me do it. So if I could bring a kid in front of a group of families, bring one child up and just get them to work on the first line without worrying about getting it right or wrong, sometimes very short lines, if I were able to create a space, which I did pretty successfully, think where the child would have a moment of actually being themself, just where their personality came out for a second, what would happen in the room is all the parents would see it and breathe finally instead of being good parents concerned for their child, or the child in the room getting the words right and being right. When I would celebrate the child actually being themselves and they would get to see the personality instead of this tension of, are they striking out or not. And then, ah, there they are. That’s actually the person and we get to see them. And now, I feel like I know them. Now, I feel connected to them because I got to see a moment of real life instead of something rehearsed. And that was being judged while it was happening. 

So that’s the child acting, which is the same thing as the batter’s box in Little League which to me is the same thing as how we go through our own lives, and our own businesses, or anything else that we do. Are we allowing ourselves to self express and find that we can come from that deeper place where self expression is possible, and then work, really connects us to people instead of being judgmental all the time. So there’s this thing that I will be doing with kids that is the same thing that I’m trying to do with my clients. And the same thing that I’m working on constantly for myself is that sense of deep free self expression in a way that, well, now, can we monetize this too? We got to ask. And if we can align all of those things together, then life can be pretty fulfilling, I would think.

Kim Sutton: Wow, that was just a whole nother bang because I can totally see it. I’ve been encouraging listeners since the beginning to be more transparent and more authentic in their work, and it sounds very congruent with what you were, not that you were asking the child actors to be more transparent and authentic, but in a way where you’re asking them to be themselves. Just do it, but don’t be so worried about perfection.

Michael Schreiber: Hey, you’re asking great questions that are getting me to go on these big riffs and things. It’s fun for me. I appreciate it, but I think that I’m working to tie it together too. Because like you said, we didn’t know how this conversation was going to unfold, but it’s certainly fun. These are important things. When I think of, this is why it makes sense to me that I came from working with younger actors into working with adults on business, and why I see the parallels in the work all the time because we have these ideas that things have to be right, whether we inherited the purpose, or we learn to system that we think it has to go this certain way. If I don’t have all of these pieces in place, then I can’t do it, and I’m not ready. Or if I’m not doing what this one person suggests that I do in business, then I’m not even being serious because I’m not doing Facebook ads, for example, or whatever it is. Well, there’s so many different ways that it can look. And if we can get to what feels aligned for an individual, then we can have a lot of satisfaction. Even enjoying the day to day of our work, and that’s my biggest wish for children, certainly, that they get into work so that they can enjoy the day to day. I want them to enjoy their lives at this moment, but also a setup where they feel like they can do that all the time. And adults are kids too. We deserve the same things where the sun is shining for us today too. We can have the same compassion for ourselves that we have for the younger people that we want to see them having an amazing life. Well, we’ll want them for that when they’re older, and we deserve it too. I want people enjoying themselves all the time, including myself.

Kim Sutton: Me too. And that’s what I want. For all the listeners, the pillars of Positive Productivity are peace, passion and prosperity. And not just prosperity financially, but I want them to find peace and passion in their work, and then be rich and always happy. And that’s been a huge growth for me is realizing that being rich is not just financial, there’s so many ways to be wealthy in our world and in our lives. Michael, this has been an amazing chat. Thank you so much for joining me on the Positive Productivity Podcast. Listeners, I forgotten to mention, and when I asked Michael on just a moment, all those links where you can find him will be in the show notes which you can find at thekimsutton.com/pp282, talk about [inaudible], I don’t normally throw it right in there. But Michael, where can listeners find you online and connect?

Michael Schreiber: Sure, michaelschreiber.com is the place for all the different work that I’m doing. Right now, I am hosting Clearing the Path there as well. I have a different website. But right now, points back to michaelschreiber.com. So all the website episodes are up there. That’s kind of the one place. And then from there, any social links, all those things that, right now, I’m not too engaged to, but if it is a good place to connect, I’m certainly welcome to connect there. Yeah, thanks for asking Kim.

Kim Sutton: Yeah, you’re so welcome. And again, listeners, that’s thekimsutton.com/pp282. Michael, do you have a parting piece of advice or a golden nugget that you can offer to listeners?

Michael Schreiber: Sure, sure. I guess I’m thinking of all the things that we talked about. To sum it up in a lot of ways, the advice that I tell myself is not to, don’t know too much. Don’t be too smart. I find myself that when I’m able to self express and have creativity come through is because I’m not thinking that I already know what’s going on. So enjoy in my career and life the times when I’m surprised. And I think that comes part of how I get out of my own way to allow that surprise of my own creativity, of my own self expression to come out is by not thinking I know at all in advance. So I think that’s just to check when am I insisting that I know something that actually I don’t know. And can it be more exciting if I allow myself not to intellectually have it all figured out.