PP 623: Choosing Inner Peace and Prosperity with Tim Shurr
Quick Show Notes – Tim Shurr:
“You’re going to get to your destination, one way or another, because it’s just who you are. But it’s how you get there that matters most.” – Tim Shurr
Understanding our power and responsibility to live a life where we positively impact ourselves and those around us can be easily overlooked without proper training and/or guidance. In this episode of the Positive Productivity podcast, Tim Shurr and Kim Sutton tackle self and social responsibility head on as they discuss self-awareness, honesty, responsibility, mindset and much more.
8:16 The three phases of a breakthrough
9:04 The closed fist
9:30 Enjoying the process of change.
15:57 Scarcity mode product launches
25:02 Tim’s podcasting journey
28:20 Working on books
29:36 The recipe for unhappiness
34:22 Being happy and fully satisfied
38:35 Choosing inner peace and prosperity
39:41 Overcoming the need to say “yes”
Resources – Tim Shurr:
Psalm 141:3 – “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth. Keep watch over the door of my lips.”
“Just because I knew the stuff didn’t mean it changed a lot. Self-awareness is only the first step.” ~Tim Shurr
“It’s easier to have a pity party for ourselves or to blame others than to take real responsibility because it threatens our ego. And it makes us feel shame and guilt.” ~Tim Shurr
“The word responsibility means the ability to respond. It just puts you in the captain’s chair and gives you the ability to make your life better instead of hoping somebody else is going to come rescue you.” ~Tim Shurr
“When it comes to money we wrap our hand around it so we that we don’t lose it. But when your hand is in a fist, you can’t have more come in.” ~Tim Shurr
“You’re going to get to your destination, one way or another, because it’s just who you are. But it’s how you get there that matters most.” ~Tim Shurr
“How do I get what I’ve learned to more people.” ~Tim Shurr
“The information is awesome and people need it. But, that doesn’t matter. What matters is what people want to buy. And it’s all about how you package it. How you market it.” ~Tim Shurr
“You can not grow playing it safe. You gotta get outside your comfort zone or expand your comfort zone so you feel more comfortable in situations where others won’t.” ~Tim Shurr
“Just because we build the funnel, this is not the Field of Dreams, If you build it, they will come. You still have to get out there and let people know it’s there to get on to.” ~Kim Sutton
“People support what they co-create.” ~Tim Shurr
“Stop should’ing on yourself.” ~Kim Sutton
“Our brain and our software in our brain is the same, even if we look different or act different.” ~Tim Shurr
“I don’t need to make 7-figures in two weeks. Would it be awesome? Yea. But that’s not how I measure my success. It used to be how I thought I was going to measure. But then I realized my happiness does not come from money.” ~Kim Sutton
“When you’re saying “yes” to somebody else, you’re saying “no” to yourself.” ~Tim Shurr
“Inner security does not come from outside. It comes from within.” ~Tim Shurr
“It’s not what happens, it’s how you interpret what happens.” ~Tim Shurr
About Tim Shurr:
As a child, Tim was anxious and fearful and had a dream of being/feeling safe as an adult. A psychology course in high school set him off on his entrepreneurial journey and he now empowers clients with the techniques to feel more safe, peaceful and prosperous.
Kim Sutton: Welcome back to another episode of Positive Productivity. This is your host Kim Sutton.
Before I introduce today’s guest, I need to tell you that when you get to podcast hosts on a podcast together, the pre-chat itself is full of so many golden nuggets that sometimes you forget to push record or you go to push record 18 gazillion times and 12 minutes later you realize you still haven’t pushed it yet, and that’s where we’re at today. Today’s guest is Tim Shurr, the president of Shurr Success, Inc, and he’s also a podcast host, but so many other things with Tim. I cannot wait to see where our conversation goes just based on the pre-chat alone.
Tim Shurr: Yes, me too. I’m really excited to be on your program and to spend this time with you.
Kim Sutton: Well, I know that you’ve had a, an evolution. Is that the right word here of an entrepreneurial journey? You, you ran a chain of hypnosis coaching practices for 20 plus year and then a corporate training company and now you build funnels online. How did, how did you get here? Like where did you start out and actually see, I told you I ask 18 questions at a time. I’m just looking back like I don’t know how many years, but what did you want to be when you were a kid?
Tim Shurr: I wanted to feel safe and feel confident about myself. You know, I, I mean, when of course I wanted to feel special too. So when I was a kid, I would want to be a magician, you know, or, or a comedian or maybe in a rock band or something where I thought that, you know, if I was special like that, people would like me because I was very anxious. I was very insecure and, uh, scared a lot of times. And then I of course, when you’re scared you attract things to be scared of, you know? And so I had a lot of bullies and things like that. And then when I was 12, my dad was, was, um, severely burned in a explosion at a us steel mill where he worked. And so I always had this fear that something bad was gonna happen.
Tim Shurr: And a lot of times it did. And so growing up I just wanted to feel safe and peaceful. And that’s what led me into eventually taking a class in high school on psychology. And it’s there where I discovered that, you know, the quality of your life is being determined by the quality of your thinking. You know, how you’re using your mind, what you’re focusing on, what you’re telling yourself, how you’re making yourself feel. I thought I was just, life was just happening to me. I didn’t realize that I was co-creating my experiences. And so it was just a series, Kim of, of um, you know, step one, step two step. So I got into psychology and then they had a guest lecture who happened to be a hypnotherapist. And I volunteered to get hypnotized cause I thought I’ll cluck like a chicken, you know, I didn’t know anything about it.
Tim Shurr: And that was the first time that knot in my stomach disappeared and I felt total peace. And I was like, what is this? So then I got hooked on hypnotism and any kind of peak performance modality that would help people get results now, whether it was hypnotism or neurolinguistic programming or EMDR or tapping or psychK or any of it. And so I immersed my feet or myself into those fields and ended up opening private practices and then training other people. And then my clients were, um, some of my clients were VPs and presidents of companies and they’d say, Hey, do you think you could work with my teams? And so that’s how I started taking these, um, mind tools into corporate America and, and creating high performing teams, uh, just by upgrading their unconscious beliefs and biases. And so I’ve learned so much from almost 30 years of walking around in people’s unconscious minds. And now I’ve discovered very specific tools and strategies for how to help people go from a breakdown to a breakthrough. Now my, the rest of my life, I’m going to be 50 here pretty soon in the next half of my life, I’m just gonna continue to share what I’ve learned so that people can go through life feeling more safe and peaceful and more prosperous as well.
Kim Sutton: I am loving every thing that you just said and I wasn’t going to ask you how old you were. So thank you for disclosing to turn 40 and I grew up in Western New York, near Rochester. And I remember in high school there was a sociology class that I did not take. And then economics, which I did and I cannot remember a thing out of it. But I love that you said that you took psychology in high school because art, we didn’t even have that. And it took me. So that was senior year that I took economics 1718 it took me another 13 years to learn for myself that I had the power to determine, you know, that my thoughts created my reality. And I didn’t need to live with that dark cloud over my head. And just because I was in the situation today, it didn’t mean that that’s how it was going to be forever. And I had the power to change it. Yes. Very good. But I was 30 at the time. That happened.
Tim Shurr: Well, you know, I was too. Yeah. Just because I knew the stuff didn’t mean it changed a lot. You know, self-awareness is only the first step. And you know, it was a gradual process for me. I always kid that I’ve got a thick skull because it took, it took so many, uh, errors, you know, and it trial and error and so many messy times of messing up.
Tim Shurr: I always talk to people and I’ll say, you know, the reason that I know what’s going on in your mind and I can help you so quickly is because I’ve made more mistakes than everybody combined. And, and, uh, and so it took a long time for me to really, how to increase emotional maturity and how to, you know, really, uh, take charge and own all of my behaviors. And all of my choices because we don’t want to do that. It’s easier to feel like a, you know, to have a pity party for ourselves or to blame others then to take real responsibility because it, it threatens our ego and, and it makes us feel shame and guilt and so, but learning how to, you know, the word responsibility means the ability to respond. It just puts you in the captain’s chair and gives you the ability to make your life better instead of hoping that somebody else is going to come rescue you.
Kim Sutton: I love that you said that it was gradual and that you were 30 I mean, as I just shared, I’m 40 and just because I learned it 10 years ago doesn’t mean I, I grasped it and I’ve had people tell me the same things over and over and over again, like 10 different people tell me that I should try something. But I, I have a thick skull too, and I’m the queen of stubborn and until I get it through my own head, it’s like acid. You know, people tell me things over and over again, but it really needs to eat through that skull and finally be absorbed and it might take a while and then I kick myself in the butt and I’m like, why didn’t you dry this before? This is amazing. But just because I learned at 10 years ago, I mean I’m fully embracing it this year.
Kim Sutton: I shared with you in a pre-check that just yesterday it was officially determined that I’ll be parting ways with my, who’s been my biggest client for a few years and I’m not scared. Like I’ve seen it coming. I’ve wanted it to come. Oh, and that’s it. I guess that’s an example of, you know, your thoughts become things and you determine your own, your reality. I’ve, I’ve wanted it to come, I just never made it official. And then bang, there it comes and I’m celebrating now. I told my husband and I said, I don’t want you to be stressed. And he actually looked at me and he’s like, I’ve been waiting for this. Like really, really
Tim Shurr: Well. It’s funny how we say we want something, but there’s so much resistance. You know, whenever there’s a breakthrough, there’s three phases and I see a consistently there’s a resistance. So we pushed back, even if we want it, we pushed back and then confusion, you know, we haven’t, we’ve let go of the old way, but we haven’t embraced the new way yet. So we’re still a little confused. And then when we finally embrace it, that’s when we have the breakthrough. And you know, so it’s normal to have resistance and there’s been times like you just described where you’ve wanted this, but a part of you was afraid to let go and then what happens? Yeah, well of the security.
Kim Sutton: Oh, okay. Yeah.
Tim Shurr: It’s the security and not the money because we think that if we’re going to lose the money and then we lose our security. So you know, it’s that certainty of that paycheck and then you can make twice the money. But if you can’t until you let go of what you have, you know, I have a friend that that said that, um, you know, when it comes to money, we wrap our hand around it so that we don’t lose it. But when your hand is in a fist, you can’t have more come in. And so, but when you finally said, I want this, you, you still drug your feet like we all do. And then life said, well you said you wanted this so I’m going to cause it to happen. And then we’re like, Hey, you know, and, and it’s like, it’s challenging. It can feel stressful to get what you want. Or if you recognize that this happens and it’s natural, you can start to enjoy the process more. And that’s where you’re at right now where you’re actually enjoying the ride instead of, you know, cause you’re going to get to your destination one way or another because it’s just who you are. But it’s how you get there that matters most.
Kim Sutton: That was a really, that was really powerful imagery that you just gave to me. And I hope the listeners were listening when you said, we wrap our fist around the money, but no more money can come in because our fist is closed. And when I, when I started loosening my grip, I was amazed how it just started coming in. Other opportunities from other people that I wanted to work with just started showing up on my Palm. It’s like, Kim, can you work with me? Kim, can you work with me? And I, and I realized, Oh my gosh, were they were these opportunities there the whole time? But because my face was closed and I mean, I’m using your imagery again. I, my blinders were on with my fist closed. He know. Did I just know him? See it? So now it might be gray skies outside today, but the sky is crystal clear blue to me. I keep on hearing who, what’s that song I can see clearly now the rain is gone.
Tim Shurr: Oh, that’s beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Uh huh.
Kim Sutton: So now I’m so curious just because I also build funnels. How did you get into building funnels?
Tim Shurr: Well, um, again, it was a natural step. I kept thinking, how do I get what I’ve learned to more people because I was running a practice, which means that I was doing one on one sessions and I was in a room with one person at a time. That’s why I wanted to work with corporate America because you work with teams. You know, I can work with a group of 26 leaders who will then go and work with, you know, a couple of hundred people. I can make a bigger difference in one hour with hundreds of people than I could with just one. And so, um, but I’d have people that were, you know, from out of, out of the country saying, how do I work with you? And, and, uh, and then there’s people that, you know, in, in, like in Australia, you know, I’m sleeping while they’re awake.
Tim Shurr: And so I thought, I’ve got to put this information into programs so that people can access it whenever they want, wherever they’re at. And so I started trying to figure out how to build a funnel. And then, um, and then I got connected with Russell Brunson in his click funnels. And his funnel hackers and all that stuff. And so I started going to their conferences and uh, which are amazing and uh, and met some really great people and spent the next year and a half taking a big chance. And let me tell you about that real quick. So, um, so I decided that I didn’t have enough time seeing to see clients, to do the seminars, to do the consulting and to write books and to build these funnels and still see my family. There just wasn’t enough time. So I decided to step away from my practice, which was, you know, I would say about 70% of my income and we had decided to step away from it for about a year or two and just focus on becoming a millionaire with these funnels because that’s what everybody says, right? Seven figures using funnels. And so
Kim Sutton: Were you thinking about joining the two comma club? or have you already?
Tim Shurr: I was in the two comma club for a year and I worked on the funnels and I put a lot of energy into it and expected everybody to sign up. And that is not what happened.
So what happened was I probably made about 20 grand from my funnels and I, I traded a couple of hundred thousand dollars for that 20 grand. And that is one of the things that people are like, Oh well what a waste of time, or Oh, do you regret it? And I’m like, no, not at all.
Tim Shurr: Yes, it was painful financially, but I learned, I got an education, I grew and all this stuff I built, I just had to repackage it. I still have everything. It just didn’t sell the way that I thought it would.
And so I’m going to keep working at it and keep redistributing and repackaging it until I find the thing that does work. And because the information is awesome and people need it, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is what people want to buy, you know? And it’s all about how you package it, how you market it and how you, and so I’m still working through that.
Tim Shurr: And I started seeing clients again. They started bringing some more money in the door, but I took those chances and I took those risks. And that’s what you have to do if you want to grow and be more prosperous because you cannot grow, play in it safe. You got to get outside your comfort zone or expand your comfort zone so you feel more comfortable in situations where others won’t.
Kim Sutton: Wow. Wow. Okay, so the funnels that you were building, they were for yourself. Are you building funnels for clients as well?
Tim Shurr: Oh no.
Kim Sutton: Okay. All right, so I, I just want to touch on that for a moment and positive productivity podcast is not, Hey, guests, come on and get coached, but I’m curious if you experienced this because this is something that I tell my clients all the time and I’ve also had to tell myself this, and this is one of those gradual, you know, finally getting it through my thick head just because we build the funnel.
Kim Sutton: This is not the Field of Dreams. If you build, it will come like you still got to get out there. Here you are on my podcast, you have a podcast. We’ve got to get out there and let people know that it’s even there to get onto. I’ve had clients who sent me — they weren’t nasty texts or anything — but,
“Kim, nobody’s signing up for my funnel.”
I’m like, “Well, have you gotten, have you gone out to speak? Have you been on podcasts? Have you been sharing it on social media? Who did you let know?”
“Well yeah. How do you expect to get traffic? I mean did you, I mean the SEO is set up but Google likes your page even more when they start seeing it get clicks. So what are you doing to drive clicks?”
“Well there’s your problem. Come back to me after you are driving traffic.”
And as I said, that’s something I’ve had to deal with. I would come up with these crazy ideas and they were awesome. Are all often in scarcity mindset mode. I mean the rent was coming to you and we needed money. So I would come up with a last minute product idea.
Kim Sutton: People, listeners, people know when you’re coming up with a last minute product idea to pay the rent plan ahead, you know, make something awesome and be regularly marketing it. Don’t wait until three days before the re your big bill is due and then come up with a off the wall idea. It might be totally in line, but when you haven’t been letting people know about it for weeks before they’re gonna know, or at least I do.
Kim Sutton: Tim, do you like, do you recognize those posts? Especially like we’re recording this at the end of the month and not going to say what month it is, but I, I could almost guarantee that I could go onto Facebook right now and see a flash sale from somebody that I’m friends with and then just screened. Oh, they’re short on rent this month.
Tim Shurr: Yeah. Oh, I’ve done it. Right. I’ve, I’ve totally done that and that.
So energetically when we’re feeling like the rent’s coming and we have to come up with something quickly, we’re coming from a place of scarcity and so we’re making all the Cardinal mistakes. We’re making it about what we need instead of what our customers need. We’re coming from a place of scarcity. Instead of feeling like we’re abundant and we’re doing this to add value and we’re rushing it instead of putting quality into it and we’re not building excitement with our audience so that they can share the adventure with us. You got to people support what they co-create.
Tim Shurr: If you want to increase engagement, you have to help your customers and your followers feel like they’re helping you to build this program. And then you’re sharing just simple details like, you know, “Hey, this is what I got done today.” Or “Hey, do you like this cover?” Or “Hey, what do you think about this introduction?” You know, and so you’re building up the conversation. You can’t have that if you just quickly launch something.
Now, if you already have the relationship and you already have the um, the loyalty and you’ve already done that groundwork, then you can go ahead and put something out there and see if it, if people bite. But you know, it’s just like you said, you’ve got to put in the value and make sure you’re coming from the right place first.
Kim Sutton: Absolutely. And I, this is so timely and it will still be timely when this episode goes out or in the future because listeners, I really hope you’re taking notes. You do not have to build the course before you launch it and Tim, I think you would probably agree, don’t build the course before you launch it right now as of the date of this recording, I am going through a beta quote launch of two programs and I’m doing them live so every week we meet the the group of people who signed up for it.
We meet, I teach, I get feedback and then the actual module is created so that when I go sell the course in the future, you know I’ve gotten that feedback but I didn’t, I didn’t start running these weekly sessions until I knew that people were interested and people paid for them. Even I not sell at full price. I’m there is a, and I don’t like this counts, but there is a discount just because this is not the finished product, but it’s awesome to not be doing it for free and to know that the the need is there.
Kim Sutton: What would be the dream day in your business? What would you be working on?
Tim Shurr: Oh, that’s a beautiful question. I’ve had that and where I’d be like, I want every day to be like this. And, um, and so, uh, that day I was at two different companies and I was working with two different leadership teams and I really enjoyed working with both of them. And, um, one was a group of, um, of, uh, administrators at a hospital and the other was a group of C level, uh, financial executives. And it was a lot of fun, uh, to, to just spend my day going from group to group. And then, uh, and then I had a little extra time where I could work on, um, one of the books that I’m currently writing with Joe Vitale. And so, uh, it was just an awesome day because I was doing exactly what I wanted to do. I was having lots of fun. I was working with people who were excited to learn about this stuff. I was teaching, we were having lots of breakthroughs. And then I had that freedom to be able to work on the other stuff that I know is going to help other people without having that pressure of I should be doing this, which so much of, uh, so many times that’s what we feel. And so, uh, you know, I should be doing this instead of doing what I really love. Um, because we have it so backwards. So that would be an ideal day for me.
Kim Sutton: Tim, I told my husband we were having a row when I been in scarcity mode and my fist has been tight. Our family suffers and my marriage suffers. And during one of those times, my husband, he’s a disabled vet. He’s amazing, but he can’t go out there and do like the, the grease monkey work that he used to be able to do because his back just won’t do it. But he was, you know, we were struggling financially and he started giving me the shoulds and I told him, “Stop shoulding on yourself.” He said, “What? What did you just…?” I said, “No, no, no, no, no. I did not say S H that word. I said, stop shoulding on yourself.” And he said, “Oh, I’ve never heard that before.” I was like, “Should, could, would whatever. Stop it. We’re here. We’re now”
Joe, Joe Vitali. That’s the right name, right? is what you just said.
Tim Shurr: Yes, yes,
Kim Sutton: You are the w. we’re only on Wednesday and that’s like the fourth time that his name has come up to me this week.
Tim Shurr: Really interesting.
Kim Sutton: Yeah. Yeah. I wonder what the universe is trying to say. Hey, find out who he is. I have to admit I’m in my little cocoon over here in Ohio and I need more exposure, but, so I love that. Just out there. It’s funny. Well, you were saying that. I was wondering, are you an extrovert or an introvert?
Tim Shurr: Um, I think I’m both right. I really, uh, you know, I’m very extroverted as, um, you know, I want to go out and talk with people and be around people. I love when I’m on a stage and there’s a thousand people in the audience. You know, I just, I love it. And so that’s a lot of fun. But when I need to recharge, it’s usually in the basement, in the dark, watching a movie by myself or maybe with my son. And uh, uh, and that recharges my batteries. Sometimes I just have to be by myself. And, um, and so it’s a little bit of both, I think. Um, when I need to take care of myself, I definitely get introverted. Um, but most of the time I’m trying to be out making a difference. So
Kim Sutton: yeah, I love that. I love that. Yeah. And I just did my first speaking engagement about a month ago or two weeks.
Tim Shurr: Congratulations.
Kim Sutton: Yeah. Thank you. Listeners, if you’ve been with me since the beginning, you heard me talk about my fear of speaking. You heard me share that I was afraid that I would trip onto the stage and then I, I flipped that fear and I said, Nope. They’ll remember me if I do trip onto the stage.
I did not trip and it was accepted really well and now I’m pumped. It’s like podcasting. I was really scared for the first time I was on a podcast because I would love to know about your podcasting journey, but I was a guest on two podcasts and then I got bit by the podcast bug and realized I needed, it’s not that I wanted, I needed my own, but now I do believe that I have the speaking bug. It was so much fun and seeing, I would love to know if you had the same feeling, but seeing the audience get the aha is it starts scribbling notes and take out their camera and take pictures of the slides. Like, yes, this is awesome. Like I want you to ask, right, how your podcasting journey gets started and what’s the name of your podcast? Where can listeners find it? [inaudible]
Tim Shurr: so it’s called “How to be Mesmerizing and a cause that’s what, you know [inaudible]. I just want you to know that.
Kim Sutton: Some segway though, isn’t it?
Tim Shurr: It was beautiful. Yeah. So, um, but it’s called how to be mesmerizing and I wanted to interview people that I just thought were really captivating and mesmerizing and it started out, you know, with my podcast, like anything else, it was just something I would do when I got to it. And then one day I had the idea that, um, what if I, you know, if I wanted to be a hall of fame speaker or a top business coach, I should be hanging around people like that. Then that’s when it hit me.
Tim Shurr: How was the fastest way to hang around people like that? Why don’t you have them on your podcast? And I thought, no way. Right? And for whatever reason, my brain did not say, well, they won’t want to do that. My brain just said, go for it. And so I started reaching out to all these hall of fame speakers and they all said yes, except for one who was just super, super busy and couldn’t make it.
Tim Shurr: And so, um, so all of a sudden I’m now hanging out with the world’s best speakers and uh, and gaining their insights and wisdom and then creating relationships. And of course, I’m always trying to figure out how to add value first, you know, and how to help people to feel good or make connections for them. And so I’m introducing people and, and uh, you know, I’m not in it trying to figure out what can I get out of them. I mean, it’s saying how can I build a strong relationship? And to do that, you’ve got to focus on what you can and what you can give, not just what you can get. And so I’ve been doing that now for the last year and it’s been amazing. I’ve, I’ve been hanging out with some pretty extraordinary people and, um, you know, and then of course when you’re doing that, then you attract other people.
Tim Shurr: And so that’s why now here I get to spend this time with you Kim. And that’s exciting for me. And so, um, you know, that’s how it started. And, um, and now it’s become a really powerful platform as you know, because I’ll get people that will send me emails and say, I love your podcast. Please send me more. I can’t wait for the next one. I’ve got my son listening to it now. And, and that just feels so rewarding because in the beginning I felt like I was literally making the podcast for myself and whoever was being interviewed and nobody else was listening. But now lots of people are listening and, uh, and it’s become one more way that I can share these secrets cause I’ll have kind of like what you’re going towards now. I’ll have guests that will come on.
Tim Shurr: But a lot of times I just started recording in my car and I’ll share, Oh my gosh, I just had this amazing conversation. I wish you could’ve been a fly on the wall. You know, cause I’m having conversations with people that normally you would have a hard time getting access to. And, and I’m in there having conversations and face to face and, and learning and growing. And as soon as I get some amazing nugget, then I make a podcast and people are loving it.
Kim Sutton: You’re making me think of Russell Brunson’s marketing in my car, marketing in the car.
Tim Shurr: That’s who I modeled it after was Russell’s. Yeah.
Kim Sutton: Yeah. And I, I want to go back to two things that you said. The first thing that you said that really caught my attention was one of the books that you’re working on right now. How many books are you working on?
Tim Shurr: Oh, well, so I’m, I was supposed to be working, I don’t know. Oh yeah. Yeah. So the series. So I started out, uh, you know, um, I pitched the Joe the idea that I had for writing a book together and he loved it. And so he said, yes, I’m in, let’s do it. And so, which basically means I’m writing the book and then just, you know, interviewing him and taking some of his nuggets, but I’m doing all the work and which is totally fine because that’s what you do. You know, he is a very, very successful, uh, internet marketer and author. He’s written like 50 books. And so the fact that he said yes to do one with me is very exciting. And, um, and so I’m currently working on that one. And then while I was working on it, the idea for a course, you know, the surviving to thriving course came to mind, um, because people want step-by-step, how do I do this?
Tim Shurr: You know, I have this dream, but I don’t know how to pull it off. There’s a lot of noise on the internet telling you all these things that you should do and making you feel envious. You know, one of the recipes for, um, unhappiness is comparing yourself to others. And so you’ll see these internet, yeah. All these internet gurus that are out there standing in front of their cars and all this other stuff making you feel like, you know, you should be them and exactly. You know, and it’s all a lie anyway, you know. And so, um, so much of the stuff that people are shown on the internet is not the truth. It’s just marketing and it’s, it’s not, uh, it’s not very ethical. But anyway, um, so I thought, well, I’m going to create
Kim Sutton: I want to go over to Indiana right now and give you a big hug.
Tim Shurr: Yeah. Home, virtual, big virtual hugs.
Kim Sutton: I mean, cause my, my almost 14 year old asked me in this, this Tim has also been a recurring theme. Like I, I just talked about this yesterday on, on another podcast. My 13 year old asked me a couple of years ago, mom, what would it take for you to get all the cars? Like this guy has, and I’m not going to name the name, but I’m sure we were thinking about the same person. I was like, “Sweetie, he could have rented that house. He could have rented all these cars and he could have rented the women that are standing next to the cars. We don’t know what the truth is. Like, I would love to see his bank balance, his PayPal balance and his credit card statements because we don’t know what the truth is.”
Tim Shurr: Yes. Yeah, that’s exactly right. And so, you know, a lot of times, um, people are, I find that most of the people that are out there making money are making money not in their own right. But they’re making money off of coaching other people who want to make money. And so like Brendon Burchard, you know, he, he, he made money. The reason he’s successful is because he made money doing a training. You know, his, his big, a big top circus is, um, you know, was quite a hit and he’s a very sharp guy and he pulled off something pretty extraordinary. And then he built a platform teaching other people. How to market. And he’s very smart and he’s put a lot of good out into the market. But again, he’s somebody who is now focused on teaching other people how to make money more than just focusing on how to make money.
Tim Shurr: And so, and we all end up doing that. And for a long time I tried not to, I didn’t want to train other coaches. I didn’t want to do that. Now I’ve changed my mind. I feel, I realized it was just a self limiting belief. But there’s too many people out there, for example, that will make audio programs or success programs and they’ve never had any clients. You know, I’ve done 15,001 on one sessions and that doesn’t include the hundreds of groups that I’ve led. And so I’ve been in the trenches with people for decades, trying to figure out how to help them make real breakthroughs. And these are people that come from all walks of life, from all over the planet, from every culture. And what I’ve learned is that as humans are, you know, our brain and our software in our brain is the same, even if we look different or we act different.
Tim Shurr: And so I’ve been trying to figure out what do you do to shift that. And uh, and so that’s when I ended up creating the surviving to courses cause they teach you step by step what you can do to start creating more inner peace and prosperity. And then to get back to the answering the rest of your question. And then after that, I’m working on my business books cause I’m, all my books have been on personal development and a, and I need to write my mesmerizing leadership books next. So that’s where I’m at with my projects.
Kim Sutton: I love it. So I’ve kind of idea disorder and I’m writing the book on kind of idea that start our listeners. I know you gotta be tired of hearing me say it, but the intro is done. The chapters are starting to come together, but that’s just one of my books. But as I said, I have chronic idea to start her. You know, I, I’m really focusing on getting one thing done at a time right now. And I know it sounds like I’m not, because I also have two courses, but those courses, I’m not planning on doing live launches in the future. These are going to be evergreen because I don’t want to be at the mercy of tech. I’m just going to get it like that. I can have, I can go on and do JV webinars for other people’s communities at any point all through the year and people can come in and start the course and I don’t need to make seven figures in two weeks. Would it be awesome? Yeah, but that’s not how I measure my success. It used to be how I thought I was going to measure my success, but then I realized my, my happiness doesn’t come from money. So, and I’d rather not go through the stress of a two week launch, having three webinars in two days. I did that last week. That was enough. That was enough. I don’t need two weeks of launching my own business. Yeah.
Tim Shurr: Yeah. That’s a lot. But you’re right though, you know, we think that we have to make $1 million to be happy. And really you can have a pretty amazing lifestyle if you’re just making a couple hundred thousand dollars. I mean, you can have, depending on how you spend and live, you know, you can, you don’t have to have a bunch of money to be happy. You know, there’s plenty of people that once your bills are paid, if you focus on your relationships and your experiences that you have, you’ll be fully satisfied. But, um, we think that somehow we have to be millionaires in order to be happy and you don’t.
Tim Shurr: So, and for some people, you know, making a half a million dollars would be completely life changing. You can pretty much do whatever you want with that kind of, you know, money. You can go on vacations, you can have nice cars and houses. You can, you know, have money in the bank for security. You have a lot of freedom just making a half of what people think you need to make.
Kim Sutton: I’m loving that. You’re saying that. And you’re, you and I are both in the Midwest. So when we’re saying this and we have listeners from, you know, the New York city area from California where their cost of living is significantly higher. They might think, I’m crazy in saying this, but I have yet to, and I’m fully transparent listeners, you know that I have yet to have a six figure year and I’m talking about gross income, you know, so certainly I haven’t had a net income of six figures. However, even with our family of seven here in Ohio that has, we’re comfortable, you know what, I love to have six figures, multiple six figure. Yeah. But I don’t want it to be a stressful earning of it. I want to do it with ease and I want to do it with a raised confident and a raised sense of value. And I don’t want it to come with a sacrifice of self care or, or family time.
Tim Shurr: Yes. Good for you. Because again, there’s a trade off and you know, I would, I’ve got two boys and I’ve been married for 20 years and you know, I started realizing there are a lot of these people that are, that are, you know, making a lot of money and working crazily. And I have worked hard. I’ve hustled for a long, long time. But I find that a lot of these people, they don’t have kids or they’re on their second or third marriage. And, and I was trying to compare myself to what they’re doing. I mean, I’d be worth $100 million if I wasn’t married and I didn’t have any kids with my work ethic. I, I would just have created 10,000 programs by now. But that wasn’t worth the trade off.
Tim Shurr: You know, it’s one of the reasons why I did it start public speaking earlier because I didn’t want to be gone all the time. I have friends that have had 200 gigs in a year, right? 200 days out of the year. They’re gone more than that because you got to travel to get to the gigs. You’re never home. You know, and, and so, and that’s why most of them are divorced. And so if you got a family of seven, you know, and, and uh, and you’re doing what you love, you’ve already won. It doesn’t matter how much you make, you’ve already won. That’s why people are attracted to you.
Kim Sutton: Yeah. Yeah. I want to speak more, but going out of town, even so I was, I was out of town this month for five days for a conference. I was out of town last month for five days. Even five days out of 30 that’s still with five kids. That’s a lot of stuffs that I’ve missed. And I was working so hard in the first two years, I have four year old twins are almost five. I was working so hard in their first two years, Tim, I’m embarrassed to say, I don’t remember when they took their first steps. I don’t remember their first words. I was not around to be part of that. I’m not going to do that. So once you know, once a quarter maybe I go speak. But that allows me to have the boundaries and this better be the right opportunity before I say yes.
Tim Shurr: Right. Well, yeah, that’s exactly right. Yeah. See, it causes you to, um, appreciate and value your time more. And that’s what, that’s what inner peace and prosperity, that’s what my course is all about. It’s about deciding how you want to use the power of your mind to create your life by design. Most people don’t feel like they’re getting to choose. They feel like they’re just having to deal with whatever happens. And it’s because they don’t recognize the beliefs and the inner dialogue that’s happening in their mind that’s causing that.
Tim Shurr: And so the fact that you’re able to literally just sit here and say, I’m going to decide whether I want to do this or not. And you’ve already have a belief that it’s happening, right? You’re not even saying, I don’t know if I’ll be able to speak. Well, anybody want to see me? You’re not even doing any of that nonsense. You’re already, you’ve already assumed as in sales, we say, assume the sale. Assume that it’s already done. Right. You’ve already assumed that. Um, that this is happening. So now you’re deciding is it worth trading the time away from my family or not? And if it is and I’m not doing it, if it is and it’s going to end up benefiting myself and my family, then I’m definitely in. And that is power.
Kim Sutton: Absolutely. Now I do have a question and then, and then we’ll, we’ll wrap up. But did you have to overcome the, um, assumed need to say yes to people in your business as you were growing? Like, did you ever feel like you needed to say yes a lot and how could you overcome that or are you still working on that?
Tim Shurr: No, I’m, well, every once in awhile, you know, I’ll have a lot of people that want me to be on their boards, you know, and, and uh, and, and I’m saying no, cause I did say yes and then couldn’t fulfill the duties and then felt terrible about it and then had to back out and then felt frustrated about the whole thing. So I’ve learned that, that when you’re saying yes to somebody else, it means you’re saying no to yourself. Right. It means that you’re saying no to um, that extra time that you would’ve had to do the other things that you might’ve enjoyed more. And I don’t want to say no to myself. I’d rather say no to somebody else and set a boundary because in those situations I like being on a board. If I would have just said no to begin with, they would have been fine. Maybe a little disappointed, but they would have understood and then everything would’ve been fine. Whenever we’re trying to chase approval, then it always backfires.
Tim Shurr: So, and that’s what saying yes all the time is it’s we’re chasing approval, we’re chasing validation. The only way out of that is to give yourself the approval and the validation you desire. And you can do that. You just simply say to yourself, I love myself. I accept myself. I am safe. If I make a mistake, I’m sorry, please forgive me. I’m going to do better or make it better. And then we move on and giving ourselves that sense of peace, that feeling of inner security is how you actually really feel it.
Tim Shurr: Most of the time we’re trying to get that feeling outside of ourselves through other people, through money, through other stuff. And it doesn’t work. I remember having more money than I ever had in my whole life and still was losing sleep at night cause I was afraid that I was going to lose it all. And so inner security does not come from outside. It comes from within.
Kim Sutton: Absolutely. And listeners, you know, my faith is really important to me. I have fallen into that trap so many times, Tim of saying yes and then not being able to fulfill and feeling really horrible because that was never my intention. Somehow I just think that there’s 72 hours in a day instead of 24 but as I’ve already shared with you, I mean there’s those recurring themes in those things that keep on hearing.
Kim Sutton: And another thing that I kept on hearing, and this comes from my faith was Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard over my mouth, keep watch over the door of my lips.” And it is now like right on my laptop. Be quiet, keep your mouth shut, Kim. Keep your mouth shut.
Kim Sutton: I mean there’s so many ways that you can interpret that verse. But for me, the number one is don’t gossip. Number two just don’t say anything. Think about it. And then go back to the person. Cause an immediate yes is probably not going to be as helpful as you think it’s going to be.
Tim Shurr: That’s really good advice. I mean, there’s so much wisdom that comes from faith and you know, a lot of times people misinterpret.
It’s, it’s, it’s not what happens. It’s how you interpret what happens, including how you interpret what happens in, in different, you know, the teachings of different religions. It’s how you interpret it. Some people are taught to interpret, um, you know, religious beliefs that you’re supposed to take care of everybody else and not take care of yourself. And that of course is ridiculous. Um, that is not what the religious teachings told us.
Tim Shurr: Um, I was having a talk with my son, uh, he’s 12 years old and he said, you know, I think I’m a pessimist and you know, and, and he heard somebody say, you know, your cup is half empty. You know, and instead of half full, and I said, son, your cup isn’t half anything. You have a refillable cup and every day your job is to fill your cup up and then go out into the world and fill other people’s cups up but then come home and then fill yours back up again cause you have a refillable cup.
Tim Shurr: And so you know when, uh, when we’re out there thinking that we’re being selfish by taking care of ourselves, that is a harmful belief. Cause if you don’t fill your cup up, it won’t get filled and then you can’t give what you don’t have. And so it’s so important. It’s essential that we take care of ourselves, that we pause, that we think about what we want to do and what’s best for ourselves rather than compulsively just saying yes.
Kim Sutton: Amen to all of that. This year and, and again, I’m not going to date stamp this because this is so relevant for whenever you are listening people. But we are wrapping up the 10th month of the year that we are in. And on January of this year, I wrote a list of of goals for this year and one of them was to not go to the emergency room or the hospital for any reason. And I know a lot of people might wonder, are you kidding me? That was one of your goals. But yes, it was one of my goals last year. I was there four times and I was admitted to the hospital once because my cup was perpetually empty. I didn’t give it a chance to refill this year, 10 months in, I have not, I have not stepped foot in hospital, not just for me, but for any of my kids. I can’t even tell you Tim, what a, what a win that is not gonna [inaudible]
Tim Shurr: That is a huge win. It’s a huge win.
Kim Sutton: Keeping seven of us out of the hospital is, and now we have [inaudible] like we have not been living in a storm shelter all year. So w but the, I’m focusing on my cup and it feels so awesome. Yes. I have loved every single moment of our chat today.
Kim Sutton: And listeners, I would love to know what you have loved. I know that’s a lot of loves in one word or in one time over to the show notes page at thekimsutton.com/pp623 and leave your ahas and your comments down below the show notes. But with that said, Tim, when they visit the show notes page, where can they, what links can they click on to go find you, connect with you, listened to your podcast, where can they find that all?
Tim Shurr: So you can just look up How to be Mesmerizing for the podcast or you can go to mesmerizing podcast.com and uh, and check us out there. And then, um, if you’re interested in that surviving to thriving course where I take you step by step through how to create more inner peace and abundant prosperity, then you just go to www.survivingtothriving.me. And, uh, and then you’ll get a lot of freebies cause I always give away the first chapter and a mesmerizing mindset checklist. Um, so that you can check out the course before you even enroll. And so those would be some great places to for us to connect.
Kim Sutton: Okay. Fabulous. And listeners, once again, those links will be in the show notes at thekimsutton.com/pp623. Tim, I just want to thank you so much for being here today. I’m going to be carrying the imagery of the fist and over well for as long as I can imagine right now and just making sure that my, my Palm is open, so thank you. That was huge for me. But would you mind sharing a golden nugget or a parting piece of advice with the listeners?
Tim Shurr: Yeah, my golden piece of advice is to love yourself and accept yourself and make that a priority in your life immediately and reinforce it all the time. Because the biggest fear that us humans have is that I’m not enough. And because I’m not enough, I won’t be loved. So we develop these strategies for how to get love and how to feel safe and how to feel wanted. And the solution is to give it to yourself. If whatever you chase runs away, the goal isn’t to chase it. The goal is to attract it and draw it to you, and the way you do that is by giving yourself the love and acceptance that you deserve.