My Story: Why I Care So Deeply About This Work

The Life That Looked Good on Paper

I grew up believing that love had to be earned. I didn’t have language for it then, but approval was something I needed to work for. My worth was tied to achievement, doing things right, and doing enough.

That belief followed me into adulthood like a shadow I couldn’t see. I built what looked like an impressive life from the outside, earning my bachelors in Interior Architecture from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago and working in top design firms in Chicago, New York, Connecticut and Ohio. Later, I built my business strategy and marketing company from scratch.

I was educated. Capable. Driven.
But I was also completely exhausted, and I had no idea why.

For years, I worked 18 to 22 hours a day, seven days a week. Underpaid contracts got accepted because saying no felt too risky. What if it closed the wrong door?

Silence became my strategy in my marriage, walking on eggshells and shrinking myself to avoid conflict becoming the norm to prevent the terrifying possibility of winding up alone.

And I kept telling myself this was normal for a small business owner, that everyone struggles like this to achieve success, and that when things got more stable (when I worked harder, earned more, proved myself), the exhaustion would lift.

It didn’t.

Because the problem was never my productivity. It was what I believed about my own worth.

The Unraveling

In March of 2022, I filed for divorce.

What followed were some of the hardest years of my life.

Jobs disappeared. Client contracts fell through. Difficult situations with my children required a kind of strength I wasn’t sure I had left in me. Eventually, I fought for, and won, full custody of my three youngest.

In the middle of all of that, I came face to face with something I had avoided for a very long time:
Myself.

Grief I had pushed down for years finally surfaced. Anger I had told myself wasn’t okay finally had to be faced. And bitterness, the kind that wraps itself around you quietly until you don’t know where it ends and you begin, couldn’t be ignored anymore.

I also found myself reaching for validation in places I knew wouldn’t hold, seeking approval from people to fill a space that only God could fill.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

I read that verse and wept. Not because it fixed anything, but because I finally believed it was true… About me, a woman who was barely holding it together on the floor of rock-bottom in her own life.

That was the beginning.

What Healing Looked Like

Requirements of My Healing

I need to be honest with you about something. That night in the life group didn’t fix everything. Sure, the account in Luke 13 was a catalyst for a few immediate changes, but there was no dramatic before-and-after moment where the pain evaporated and I woke up instantly healed.

My healing took time, effort, patience, and grace. It required a willingness to fall and get up again, giving permission to myself to ask for help, and a commitment to turn to God more each day than I had the day before.

Remember: God heals, but that does NOT mean we don’t need to do work.

My healing looked like:

• actively looking to God instead of only to earthly coping mechanisms
• choosing to set boundaries, and to sit, with God, in the second-guessing that followed
• walking away from relationships I had spent years trying to make work
• learning to trust my own instincts again, slowly, with a lot of false starts
• choosing forgiveness, for myself and the people who hurt me
• learning to say “no” without a paragraph-long explanations or apologies
• being okay with crying rather than embarassed by it

“He restores my soul.” — Psalm 23:3

While healing, I held onto this verse like a lifeline. I needed to believe it was possible. And over time, it was.

If you’re in the middle of the hard right now, I want you to hear me: the hard parts are not evidence that you’re doing healing “wrong.” They’re evidence that you’re doing the work. Keep going.

When Everything Began to Connect

Long before this season of healing, I spent over a decade helping entrepreneurs build systems, processes, and structures that helped their businesses survive and grow.

I was good at it. But at the time, I had no idea that work was preparing me for something far more personal than business.

During my own rebuilding, something became clear that I hadn’t expected:

The same principles that help a business thrive are the same principles that help a human heart survive.

• Clarity reduces overwhelm, in spreadsheets AND in souls
• Healthy boundaries protect what’s valuable, in companies AND in people
• Consistent rhythms create stability, in operations AND in lives

Without these things, businesses and people drift toward chaos, exhaustion, and constant reaction.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” — Proverbs 3:5-6

Looking back, I can see it clearly: God was building me for work in seasons I didn’t understand yet.

The years in business strategy. The years of personal rebuilding. The framework that emerged from living both. None of it was wasted. It was preparation.

E — Expectations

Knowing what is and isn’t acceptable, in relationships, work, and in how others speak to you and how you speak to yourself, is not demanding. It is not too much to ask. It is wisdom.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12

B — Boundaries

Boundaries are not walls. They are fences, built not to keep people out but to protect what God has entrusted to you.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

E — Exposure

Healing happens in the light. Secrecy, confusion, and manipulation thrive in darkness. This pillar is about telling the truth, first to yourself, then to safe people, then to the world.

“Everything exposed by the light becomes visible.” Ephesians 5:13

T — Team

You were never designed to do this alone. Finding the right people, friends, mentors, counselors, and a community of women who truly understand you, is not weakness and doesn’t mean you are weak. In community is one of the ways God designed us to heal.

“Two are better than one… if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

T — Tools

Scripture. Prayer. Journaling. Healthy systems. Faith-based resources. The right tools at the right time can change your entire trajectory.

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Psalm 119:105

E — Economics

Financial peace matters. Whether you’re rebuilding after a divorce, starting a business for the first time, or learning to manage your own money after years of not being allowed to, economic stability is part of living freely.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

R — Rinse & Repeat

Healing is not a single event. It is a rhythm. We return to what we know, we recommit to what we believe, and we keep going, even when we slide backward, when we’re tired, and when we can’t yet see progress.

“His mercies are new every morning; great is His faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23

Faith is the Foundation

Faith Is Not an Add-On. It’s the Foundation.

I want to be clear about something because it matters to me and my journey immensely.

I tried to rebuild my life through willpower alone. For years I tried, through better systems, smarter strategies, and enough forward momentum to outrun the pain. Instead of healing and rebuilding, I repeatedly wound up back on the floor.

What changed wasn’t my plan. It was my foundation.

Every step of healing I have experienced, every boundary I’ve learned to hold, every fear I’ve slowly released, every morning I’ve woken up with something that actually feels like peace, each and every one of these flows from one thing: a real, ongoing, sometimes-messy relationship with God.

Not a religion. Not a list of rules. A relationship with a Father who has never once looked at my broken pieces and called them a mistake.

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19

That is what I want for every woman who finds her way to this work.

Not just healing. Transformation.
Not just a better life. A life that is genuinely, sustainably, deeply better, because it is built on the right foundation.

God is the authority in this work. Not me. I am simply a woman who has walked the road and wants to show you the way.