Quitting the Blame Game

QUICK NOTES – QUITTING THE BLAME GAME

TRANSCRIPTION

(Transcription not yet cleaned up, but thanks for checking it out!)

Hey everybody, it’s time for work smarter, not harder Wednesdays, my screen is doing something funky. I don’t know why I’m seeing a picture in a picture. Oh, well, I’m just gonna pretend they don’t see that. Today we’re gonna be talking about quitting the blame game. You know that I draw inspiration from my own life constantly. I mean, if I weren’t, if I weren’t drawing inspiration from me, I don’t know where I would be drawing inspiration from because I don’t want to be sharing other people’s stories. I almost spilled my water all over my desk. I don’t want to be pulling from other people’s stories because I don’t know their stories like I know my story. But my story, my family’s story, my businesses stories, make all those plural gives so much content that I can be sharing on here and that I do share on here and I share all looper. So before I jump in Why and how we need to quit the blame game.

I just want to share that this morning I went live on youtube

on my daily timbits episode, and I was sharing the funniness about how our how just the earth and that that episode of timbits was about celebrating milestones, you know, what do we need to do consistently? And how do we reward ourselves for doing it? Or how do we celebrate momentous occasions in our family, right? So in this case, tomorrow, my husband and I are actually we’re celebrating that the kids, all of the kids will finally be in school. We’re going to go to lunch because the kindergarteners are finally going. The five year olds are finally going to kindergarten tomorrow. They’re starting school a couple days later, and all the rest. But I was sharing this morning that we had for four tornado drills this morning. Not just one The sirens are definitely working. Okay, let me just make that clear. But we had four. And then the lawnmower guy came right before I was scheduled to go up right before I was scheduled to go live. But I’ve committed to doing these lives. Now I’ve got my neighbor next door, their lawn services here, and they’re right outside the window. I’m sure they just finished mowing. You probably heard it at the beginning, but I committed to being here at one o’clock eastern on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. So if you can hear that just bear with me and know that I’m doing my best to be committed. I am. I want to reward myself for milestones. And I’m getting rid of the blame game like I don’t want to blame that I wasn’t here on the lawn more. That’s silly. You You have background distractions all the time you know that it’s life. And if you want perfection, this is not the channel to get it I speak fluent typos and blooper. So with all that said, Today, I want to talk about the blame game. How many times have you not hit a substantial goal in your business or you’ve struggled in your business or your personal life, and you’ve blamed it on somebody else. There were decades that went by that I blamed my unhappiness on other people. There were years that went by in my business where I blamed the fact that I wasn’t reaching the next level on on other people. But let me tell you, you need to let the blame game go surrender your spot in the game, give the winner seat to somebody else, because I’ll tell you that the second you let go of blaming other people, and look at what you are accountable for, and what you need to be responsible for. The game totally changes and you’re no longer playing the blame game. You’re playing the up level game. Just earlier this year, I was so upset because of some system a little bit a little bit see frequent error, I speak

fluent blooper. I was

upset about some circumstances that happened in 2019. And in my business, and I kept on pointing the finger at the client and the other client. And I, I was just addicted to finger pointing and then I don’t know what happened. I don’t know if I was listening to something. Or if I had the right conversation, and I’m being fully transparent with with saying that I do not remember what happened. That made me all of a sudden realize that wasn’t, you know, they had 1% of the blame there. 99% of the blame fell on me. I was the reason why things went so disastrously disastrously wrong. I over committed myself, I allowed scope creep to happen. I allowed myself I said you Yes, you’re charging too little, then I had to take on too much work. And then I got into this vicious cycle of over committing because I needed more work because I couldn’t. I wasn’t charging enough. That was all my fault. I had to let that

blame go because there was nobody to blame

but me. And when I left my seat at the blame table, Holy moly, things started to change. Last week, I wanted to postpone my launch for Pinterest for podcasters because things weren’t lined up, right. There was nothing to blame it on. Life happens. And then I realized, you know what I can go on. Everything’s not going to be perfect, but it’s going to be imperfectly perfect. The way that my whole brand is the way that my whole life is. So I could quit and only blame myself or I could keep on going and say hey, this is life. Now this story might get back to people who I didn’t necessarily intended to to get Back to because I don’t want to throw my son underneath the bus here. But let me share another story of the blame game with you. I took my son and you know, if you know me, I don’t share my kids names because I’ve had death threats in the past that have have threatened my kids. But I took my son to or he had a soccer game last night. So I took myself

to the soccer game to go watch him and his team.

Let’s just be honest, I went to the soccer game to go watch my son. Well, unlike the four first four games of the season, where he started

yesterday, he was on the bench.

And I was like, That’s weird. What’s going on here? He sat on the bench the whole first half, and I was texting my ex husband. We’re trying to figure out what happened. You know what’s going on here? And then all of a sudden and this is what my ex doesn’t necessarily know yet, but he might no no is that This past weekend on Saturday, I got up early. I set my alarm on a Saturday morning. Do you know how painful that is to set my alarm on a Saturday morning? I got up at seven or 730 to get my son to soccer practice on time. I texted him because his his bedroom is downstairs. I called. I went downstairs and I woke him up. Yeah, yeah, I’m getting up. Well, he kept on going back to sleep. As a mother of a teenager, there’s only so much I can do to get that kid out of bed. And at some point, he needs to make his own decision and faces on consequences. So long story short, he did not get his butt out of bed. 15 minutes before practice. I’m like, dude, we can still get there on time. Get your butt out of bed. Let’s go. I’m already going to be late. So he didn’t go so I said Well, are you going to let them know? Did you let the coach know? Yeah, I did. Looking at who was on the bench last night, it was him. And one of his teammates who apparently had also missed a practice.

And after the

game, he was upset. And he was a he just was really upset. But I, I was just sitting there thinking in the car, and even as I was going to sleep last night, I’m not going to take blame for this, and he can’t blame anybody, except for himself. It’s his fault that he did not go onto the field and tent until the last 10 minutes of the game last night because he made the decision not to get his butt out of bed and get the practice and I think it’s awesome, by the way, that the coach put that into play. Right like the consequences of not attending practice. There’s there’s teammates on this varsity team who are there who are practicing who are giving their all to their teammates? So why should a teammate who just doesn’t show up for a practice be rewarded? And I would expect the same to be the case for me. Why should I be rewarded? If I launched something and don’t tell anybody, and then I get upset because nobody’s bought anything. There’s nobody to blame for that, except for myself. But I don’t want to, I don’t want to blame. I don’t want to blame anybody else anymore. And I also don’t want my son to blame anybody else for the fact that he didn’t get on the field until 10 minutes left last night. My point here is, when you’re looking at what’s going on in your life, personally and professionally, there’s no one really to blame for what’s going on, except for you. If even if you’re in an abusive relationship, you have the choice to leave. You might have 15 kids, but you still have the choice to leave. Because you can go get support, you can get assistance, even then tough times like these, you can contact whatever department it is and ask for support.

It’s out there. So if you decide to stay, there’s no one to blame but yourself. If you decide to stay with a bad client who’s mistreating you and doesn’t pay on time, the only person to blame is you. Stop blaming everybody else for your problems. And I know this isn’t necessarily positive productivity. But I guarantee you that the moment you give up your spot in the blame game, and let someone else have top spot on the leaderboard that your life is going to change. I’m seeing it changing.

Does that mean that everything’s perfect? Heck, no.

I never expect it to be though and I’m having fun with all the stuff that doesn’t go how I plan. So today, join me in the non blame game. Let’s take accountability. Let’s tell ourselves what we’re going to get done every day. And instead of having The list that’s 30,000 items long. Let’s just have three. I may get one of my to do list items done today, but I only have three. And if it’s if I don’t get it done, there’s always tomorrow. the blame game is done for me. I’m going to have fun with what I’m doing. And I’m going to keep my sights here and on my immediate goal, and in the end, anything that gets done and anything that doesn’t, it’s all up to me. Now I will be back on Friday for feel good funnel Fridays. I have to go. My husband and I are going to go pick up our first grader now. I think he’s coming out to remind me, yeah, yep. So I’ll be back on Friday for feel good funnel Fridays and until then go forth and make it a positive and a productive day.