PP 017: Know Your Nos

Embrace the power of the word “No” so you can enjoy the word “Yes.” In this episode, Kim shares why it is so important to know the words we live by, and how she handled a situation.

Know Your Nos

Resources Mentioned

Positive Productivity podcast, episode PP 015: Shiny Object Syndrome
The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte
Ray Edwards’ Podcast, The Ray Edwards Show
Michael Hyatt’s Podcast, This is Your Life

Episode Transcription

Welcome back to another episode of Positive Productivity. This is your host, Kim Sutton.

Today I actually intended to come in and talk to you about knowing your niche, but after some events that took place this week, I decided instead to talk to you about knowing your nos. I do realize this is the Positive Productivity podcast so we should be talking about the yesses and the positive, but there are sometimes circumstances in our life where we really need to embrace the word “No” and celebrate, yes celebrate, the ability to say “No.” to opportunities and circumstances which don’t suit us, our personality, or our mentality.

These types of circumstances may include job offers and date requests if you’re single, purchasing opportunities such as what I talked about in my previous episode, Shiny Object Syndrome, or even podcast interviews. Yes, podcast interviews may possibly present the opportunity to say “No” or to stop midstream.

Without going into full detail, I want to share a situation which happened earlier this week, and in telling you this I want you to know that it’s because I have you, my listeners, in mind with the actions that I took. If you’ve been listening to previous episodes – especially those in which a guest joins me – you know that those episodes aren’t as much of an interview as they are a chat. They’re free-flowing, usually starting with an introduction asking them to share more about themself, and then who knows where the chat is going to go.

Well, during this particular conversation, every single time I asked a question I was very uncomfortable with the response that was received. To be completely honest, the responses felt combative and volatile.

Seeing as this is the Positive Productivity podcast, it was beginning to make me very uncomfortable to the point that I was stumbling over my words, I couldn’t even think about what question to ask next, and amazingly enough, I did not even know how I was going to close out the show.

After yet another question was answered with a combative response, I finally realized, “Hey, I’ve had enough. This needs to stop.

So I took a deep breath, and then just said, “Look, this isn’t working. I’m going to go ahead and stop the recording. This isn’t what I want on my show, and I don’t think it’s what my listeners want to hear either.

Let me tell you… I was shaking when the conversation ended and I hit the red Skype but to end the call. This is not something that I do on a daily basis, a weekly basis, or even a monthly basis. I have trouble telling people no. And that is actually something I’m really trying to work on.

I am trying to know my nos and get very familiar with them so that I can embrace the power of yes and really enjoy the opportunities which are most fitting with my lifestyle; with the words that I’m trying to live my life by which are positive, purposeful and productive.

If you haven’t already thought about what words you want to live your life by, I really encourage you to make that list. If you need any assistance on that, Danielle LaPorte’s book, The Desire Map, which yes, I’ve mentioned a few times on the podcast already, but anyway Danielle LaPorte’s book, The Desire Map, was a huge eye opener for me, and was actually what helped me develop my words.

So take that power into your hands. Develop the words that you want to live your life by, and if opportunities come your way that don’t fit those words, feel better about your ability to say no, and just do it.

Say it with me.

“No.”

I listen regularly to the podcasts of Michael Hyatt and Ray Edwards, and both have shared stories about how they turn down opportunities which aren’t necessarily the best for them or don’t have the best timing. They have really great ways to respond so that the person on the receiving end doesn’t feel jilted or jaded, and most often it’s something like, “I’m really sorry. I don’t have time for that in my schedule right now, but why don’t you reach out to me at a future date.

So if you’re worried about saying no to somebody, come up with a response like that. It doesn’t have to be dishonest – to them – but it’s staying honest to you. It’s staying authentic to you what are about, to your passions, and to your purpose.

I want you to start celebrating your passion and your purpose. Start celebrating your big yesses. And I want you to live every day positively and productively.