PP 174: Deciding To Dance With Life with Lisa Winston

Quick Show Notes – Lisa Winston

You get to decide if you ride the dance of life or not. It’s your choice.” ~ Lisa Winston

No matter what your life struggles are, you can overcome and create something GREAT! Today’s guest, Lisa Winston, has pushed through rape, molestation, divorce, losing her home to wild fires AND breast cancer and is actively creating an incredible life for herself and those around her.

We chat about not settling, building confidence in ourselves and our purpose, committing ourselves to creating greatness, and not worrying about perfection.

Lisa Winston and @thekimsutton chat about not settling, building confidence in ourselves and our purpose, committing ourselves to creating greatness, and not worrying about perfection. https://thekimsutton.com/pp174Click To Tweet

Episode Transcription – Lisa Winston

Kim Sutton: Welcome back to another episode of Positive Productivity. This is your host Kim Sutton. I am so happy that you are here to join us today and I am thrilled to introduce our guest, Lisa Winston, an authenticity and competence coach.

After 53 years of drama, including rape, molestation, abuse, illness, divorce, losing herr home to wildfire and breast cancer, Lisa left her 36 year music career and a 15 year relationship and went in search of her life’s mission. Lisa, Wow.

Lisa Winston: A lot, right?

Kim Sutton: (?) But seriously, congratulations. I don’t think that… Too many people, unless we’ve been through major life shifts like that realize how congratulations really are in order sometimes, right? Because they think, “Oh, I’m sorry.” But really I know

Lisa Winston: Exactly. First of all, Kim, I want to thank you for having me on the show, because I love what you’re doing. I love you, I adore you. I love the authenticity piece. And and that’s why we’re here. So thank you for having me.

Lisa Winston: And, you know, I love that you said that, because it’s funny when you said that I was like, oh, oh, it’s true. I before we started this conversation, we were talking and, you know, was talking about how most people go through all these horrific life challenges and some, you know, way worse than what I went through. They were bad, but they’re bad for each of us.

Lisa Winston: And a lot of people allow those to, you know, define them and they never and they just get stuck there. They don’t go beyond it. They don’t move beyond it. So that’s my message. Thank you. It wasn’t easy, but I was determined. I’m a stubborn girl.

(Transcript still being cleaned up but thank you for checking it out!)

Kim Sutton: I join you on the stubborn. I just have to share with listeners because… Listeners This is take two because I forgot to turn on the recorder. But I am loving take two already. Because I didn’t think about the congratulations before. I mean seriously.

But let me just give you an example of how stubborn I am. And I think even played out in my own life, I will sit here with a mouse or a keyboard that is just not cooperating with me. And it will take me weeks to think to change the batteries. But we do the same thing in our whole life. Like there’s just something that’s not working. So we’ll sit there and Well, as you said, in our pre Chat Chat, we are talking about it a little bit, but we settle we ask whether it’s in a relationship or we settle with a mouse or keyboard that’s just not doing it for us. We settle. Yeah. So I’d love though. Thank you again, and you’re welcome for being here. share more of your journey with us and what it looked like for you.

Lisa Winston: Well, I love that whole piece. You’re talking about settling. You know, I just told you I left a relationship seven months ago because I did a leadership program and it’s like The more work you do on yourself, the more inner work and I just want to speak into that briefly. And then I’ll if it’s okay, I’ll go into my, my story.

Lisa Winston: But I think we settle because we’re afraid there’s nothing more, you know, or that’s the best we can do. Or we’re just afraid of change. You know, when we’re in our comfort zone, we’ve already mastered whatever it is that we’ve mastered, or wouldn’t be our comfort zone to step outside of that is uncomfortable, or I don’t know if your mom always said, but my mom always said, Hey, if you have a guy that, you know, cooks for you and hold your hand, and, you know, he shows up, and he’s loyal and faithful, you know, keep them but it’s like, well, that’s all well and good, but maybe the relationship isn’t serving you in some ways, in many ways, you know, could be emotionally detached or whatever. So that whole issue of settling is huge. And I would love to if it comes up again, address that more.

But I’m actually was more along the lines of marry a doctor, lawyer

Lisa Winston: or lawyer, right? Because that’s all you need.

Kim Sutton: Yeah, right.

Lisa Winston: Like, yeah, that’s a whole nother conversation. And we do carry all these things around from our parents. You know, we don’t know who we are. I mean, we really developed, uh, you know, when we’re kids, we are like sponges, we absorb everything our parents say, and teachers and everything else. And then after a while we just do this stuff. I mean, we grew up as adults, we have no idea who we are or what we think or, you know, or anything.

Lisa Winston: So, anyway, to go into my journey, you mentioned a lot of this stuff already. And I don’t need to go into all of it. But my life I suffered in my life terribly. I was fearful all the time. And I just knew I was here for something greater. I had a lot of things happen to me that were very traumatic. And yet there was just this something inside of me, you know, that kept me going and kept me moving forward.

Lisa Winston: It doesn’t mean I didn’t have days when I was on my face, you know, praying and crying and thank God, I didn’t have the, you know, the hit to take myself out because there were some pretty low days over the years, you know, but what I loved about the wildfire and the breast cancer was that that was a universal two by four hour and I didn’t share this with you in episode one. Okay. It was like I was studying Eckart Tolles’ books that I was reading and I was really trying to get revved up my spirituality and I was in Chicago, and all that And I remember reading that it’s really important for us to die to self before we die, you know, losing our attachments to things and people.

Lisa Winston: And so my prayer was before the fire helped me spirit to die to self before I die. And I lost my house shortly thereafter, and then I got breast cancer. So be careful what you pray for because if you truly want it, you’ll truly get it.

Lisa Winston: And yeah, that was the universal two by four. That was the catalyst that really changed my entire life, and I’m really grateful It was a gift.

I had never heard that died itself. Wow. Yeah.

Yes. I also said I was burnt out on my music career too. And then I all my stuff got burned.

I’m a powerful manifester. Yes, you are, right.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. So with everything that you went through, and I know you’re an authenticity and confidence code. Sure. That’s a portion of what you do today. How much was confidence or lack of courage? Confidence playing in your life before you had your shift.

I was huge. I had no confidence I was a victim, I was scared of everything, my own shadow. I didn’t think I was worthy of anything. I didn’t think I was capable of anything, you know, I went through school. And in, you know, I’m almost 60 while 59 and back then, you know, they didn’t have labels for a DD ADHD, all that they just thought you’re stupid. And they would say sit there. So I didn’t do very well in math or, you know, biology or any of that stuff. And I felt that I was incapable and stupid. And literally, the guidance counselor said, just sit there. So, you know, when I came out into the real world, a world I really felt that I was I was incapable of anything. And so I kept myself very small. And you know, and then my family had this whole idea about you know, how we had mental illness in our family depression, anxiety, and so I just thought I was damaged goods, you know, and that’s just the way it came in. And that’s the way it was gonna be. But yeah, confidence was not part of my being at all until probably after I left you know, The fire in the breast cancer that’s when I started really doing the deep work and that’s when everything changed for me.

So what does it look like now in your life? Ah,

well I don’t know that’s a that’s a loaded question girl I know Please don’t

ask me because I know

your stuff i love it i love it cuz you’re honest and you’re authentic and transparent and vulnerable and I love that because that’s what I’m all about. But yeah, I know they people expect us when we’re doing things in the world you know they’re perfect No Are you kidding me? I mean the the deeper work you do the deeper it goes when you’re committed on this journey to greatness and you know helping change the world and Chuck and you know, supporting people and transformation and all that you get tested like you can’t get out there and teach it if you’re not living it if you’re not you know learning it so life has been two sided for me and that is you know life is this like this wave we ride the wave we have our appt days we have our down days there’s really no good or bad It just is if we can get present to that that whatever is happening is okay because that’s what is But in reality, it was like, you know, my life really consists of some very low lows, you know, lots of clearing, I live with a coach. She’s a dear soul sister of mine. And we support each other through all the changes and you know, the ups and the downs and the clearing and all that stuff. And then there have been magnificent days for me more than I can even tell you were there’s incredible amounts of joy and clarity and downloads and information and taking those next steps in that alignment piece. And the more that we do that, you know, the more joy we have, but you got to remember, we’re human, you know, 3d so we can only hold that high vibration of love for a short amount of time. And then oops, guess what? We’re human again. So we come back down, right and then we get our next piece. So it’s this beautiful dance between the yin and yang between the way people might label the good and bad, which isn’t good or bad. It just is the dance of life. And you get to ride it or not. I always say it’s your choice, but it’s pretty amazing. It is pretty amazing.

I’d never thought about it of how It’s not good or bad how it’s the dance of life.

Wow. Yeah. And yeah, that’s part of mindset too, you know, because we so many even me, it’s I teach mindset. But I say things sometimes I remember when I was doing an interview with Joe Vitale and he was talking about his work with Melissa Etheridge, it was on his music. And he said to me, you know, he’s done books and movies and all kinds of things. And he said, she called him out on self talk and mindset stuff that he didn’t even know he was doing. So we always have that piece. But as long as we’re moving forward, and we’re always you know, catching ourselves and you got to remember life is life. mastery is practice. You know, we all come and fly by the seat of our pants. We all want a magic pill, we all think we should be this way, this perfection This, this, whatever this thing looks like to us, right? But we’re imperfect as humans, you know, our souls may be perfect. And we’re here to have the experiences and you can’t grow without some pain and some experience. And so, again, it’s really beautiful, but you get to start practicing your mindset you get to start looking how Life is happening for you, not to you, you know, and then that takes you out of that victim stance. So lots of things to work on some basic pieces that can really shift your ways of being around if you get it.

Oh, absolutely. I’m over here laughing completely unrelated to anything that you said. But certainly, life is not always perfect, but it’s,

yeah, it’s super juicy.

In our pre Chat Chat, right before I thought I pushed record, yeah.

The bottle of soy sauce on my desk. I didn’t even know how it got here tipped over. I love it. Well, all of a sudden, just while you were talking, like I started smelling soy sauce. This is completely unrelated. Okay, but this is me being authentic. And I realized, but I had to laugh about it that I have a huge puddle of soy sauce on my life. Completely, but I had to laugh because it’s just part of this journey. It’s not perfect. I mean, I I live out of a laundry basket basket because there are more important things. In my head for me to be doing and to be totally honest, a kid who says responsibility that falls on I would rather that he clean the litter boxes some days, right? smells better, but, you know, I don’t have a problem living out of the laundry basket because it means that I can spend more time with my family enjoying that time. Or, you know, as long as I don’t smell when I go out, that’s okay.

Yeah, exactly. No, but I love that. Let’s just be real. Yeah.

And, yeah, we have to, we we get, we get to enjoy life, we get to do what we do. We don’t have to do it. So let’s get to do what we want to do.

And what I love about that is that we’re all chasing some ideal, you know, of this perfection. And like you said, life is happening. And if you’re, you know, I have to say I’m a recovering perfectionist, and you know, I still have days I go there and things I haven’t let go of, but it’s like if we don’t take time to smell the roses if we don’t enjoy the present moment. Like you with your kids. You know, it’s like there My mother used to say to me because I was so anal about cleaning everything all the time. And she said, Oh, you know, when you die and you go to your grave, what are you going to have on your tombstone? And I was like, well, I had a clean house, you know, well, that’s boring. So I decided to have a lot less clean and a lot more, you know, being in the flow and enjoying and taking time for myself and smelling the roses. So, especially when your kids are young like that, you know, they’re not gonna be young forever. You get to enjoy that. That’s a gift.

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I think I’ve shared this on the podcast once before, but there was a day when actually it was probably two years ago now, when the whole rest of the whole rest, meaning four out of the house had the flu. And three of us were healthy, and my four year old was two at the time and she didn’t have it. And I didn’t have it. And while I was taking care of some of the others, she found a sharpie. Oh, no, no. underside of the toilet seat. She oh my gosh, smiley face.

I know some listers, especially those who have a much cleaner house and me are gonna be like you. But I left it on there for longer than it should have been on there considering it was toilet seat. We had the flu going through, but it was just so happy. Like it was just hysterical to be able to go into the bathroom, lift up the toilet seat and see a smiley face made now. Yeah, I love that about kids. Yeah, every single wall in my house, except for the walls of my bedroom. I don’t know how it happened are decorated with marker colored pencil or crayons. I don’t know where they find these things, but they do. And now every single surface is decorated. And my four year old will blame it on her little sister. But then we’ll find a picture of my husband complete with a goatee.

So we know it’s not one of the younger ones. Yeah,

yeah. Well, I love it because it’s like you have an artist house. You know it’s a work in progress. And I love that because I’m an artist creative and, you know, we don’t let our kids do that guy. We grow up with such constriction in our lives. Don’t do this, don’t do that. And we can’t breed, you know, and then we wonder why we have no flow when we get older. So I love that, you know, let them have at it and enjoy the artwork, because again, it’s temporary. Oh, absolutely. I think you should post pictures I think you should like, put up pictures of what your walls look like so we can all

see our work.

Why have to be completely transparent with you and honest and this is a perfect episode to come clean on this. The reason why I haven’t been doing video up until now Oh, was because I didn’t want to be judged on the state of my house.

And you get to bust through that people pleasing, just saying, you know, who cares? like nobody gets to judge you in your house.

Kim Sutton: Yeah, listeners. You are not alone if your house is not impeccable. I mean, I already admitted while I’m recording this I have a puddle of soy sauce. I’m making me hungry actually. Now I’m running race. I know I want to eat off my desk listeners

know but I love Because, you know, I told you, I had an office last place I lived, you know, really nice looking like I did my summit’s and everything was all perfect. I was like, oh, people will think it looks so you know, important and impressive. And I’m now in a different place. And I’m actually doing this podcast out of my bedroom because it’s the best place the most quiet place for me to do it. I’ve got my bed in the background, and you know, you saw my little wall hanging back there. And I was like, I don’t really care what people think about my space, you know, they don’t get to judge me. So you get to do whatever you want to do. And I would love to see your walls,

just saying, Oh, absolutely. Listeners in the show notes which you can find at KIM sutton.com forward slash pp. 174 there will be a picture of of the toilet seat at least and I will try to take some pictures of the walls. No, that’s actually what I’ve had to get over to is stop saying I’ll try and I will right just do it right. We’ll take some pictures of all the magnificent wall art. Maybe we’ll even get some more before This episode is released to share. So now you have transformed and you’re helping people say yes to everything so that they can grow themselves and uplevel

Yeah, and that’s a whole nother piece because it’s like, if you’re saying yes to the wrong things, right, there are sacrifices. What are you saying? No to?

I was just about to ask about that.

Yeah. So it’s a really interesting, there are a lot of places we can go as far as what I do with people is, is what I do, because, you know, we follow people because of their fire what they’ve done and I’ve pushed through so much and every time something comes, that’s hard, I say yes to it, even if it has me on my face on my knees. That’s why I have mentors and coaches and support and friends and, you know, I’m always working it because I just want to be, you know, not perfect. But you know, there’s a saying we can do, you know, good, better and best. So, it’s our next step. You know, where do we get to go next, so, you know, yeah, I that’s how I live my life. And because of it, I’ve gotten stronger, my courage, my grit, my 42 To my tenacity, my, you know, kick butt. It’s like, yeah, I’m a feminine flowy. But I’ve got this fire inside of me as well. And it’s like, I think you had asked me on the last on the unrecorded episode, you know, about how that was showing up for me in my life. And what I wanted to share is that, you know, when we’re victims, we’re squishy inside. Like, we can’t stand up in our power, we have trouble saying no to people. And we feel uncertain, and we’re conflicted. And we have all these things that go around in our heads these conversations. And when you start really standing in your power doesn’t mean that you never have moments of being a victim or feeling like a victim or having those old conversations come back in. But there’s this alignment that takes place and like I went back to see my family just recently, and I was like a whole different person. And I got a whole different response from my family. I was not treated the way I had been most of my life, because I was different. So because I’m doing the work I have this alignment where I stand in my power. I stand in my truth. I’m honest apologetic, I’m unshakeable, I’m unstoppable. Because I, I know me and I’m still working progress, right? We’re students of life for life till the day we’re off the planet. But we get better and better and better. And there’s this thing that happens. There’s this magic that happens when you keep doing the work. And you jump all in, and you don’t let life define you. You know, it’s like, diamonds are made under pressure, and we’re all diamonds in the rough. And when you start feeling solid, and you don’t allow people, you know, I’ve had people come in, because, you know, we were talking about cussing. And I’ve been known to left let a couple expletives fly on

Facebook Lives when I get really, you know, amped up about something.

And I’ve had big people, you know, in the industry, and I was like, Well, if you talk like that, you know, you’re never gonna get anywhere and you should stop that. And it’s like, oh, well, you get to be you and I get to be me. And I blocked a few of them because, like, you know, it’s not out of anger is just, I get to be me and you don’t get to tell me who I am. And I get to stand in that. So it’s a powerful space, a very powerful space.

It’s funny that you brought Write up the cussing, because while you were talking about diamonds being created under pressure, I was thinking, and I’ll modify this a little bit. Well, then you and I are effing 50 carat diamond. Totally. You think?

Yeah, no kidding.

We got like a lot of facets and they’re really shiny. And they’re really priceless.

Oh, yes. Absolutely. Yeah. I love that. And it’s worth it. You know, it’s a journey worth taking. A lot of people don’t, I think will be a long time ago when I thought about getting into spirituality, you there are a lot of concepts that go around, but people always like, well, if you start that, you know, it’s gonna be really hard. Well, yeah, sometimes it is. But it’s also really, like, I know, you’ve had the same experiences I’ve had where these things happen and you’re on your face in awe and gratitude. And you can’t even describe the feelings of love and joy that you have in your heart because they’re divine. They don’t come from you. So I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to miss out on those moments for anything.

Oh, no, absolutely not. Well, you said you mentioned that are you currently a born again, Christian Or you went through that, like, I’m just wondering for you anyway, how it aligned with your new Walk of spirituality because I know for me and and sorry I asked you a question that I just didn’t even let you finish. I I was raised Catholic then and then it just to say it didn’t take it would probably be fair. I mean I I understood Christianity but I really didn’t understand Christianity. Then I 30 years went by and I was introduced to the law of attraction. And then within a year I was brought back to the Christian faith, which is as strong for me as ever, but law of attraction and mindset are very important to me. And now I have to say I found a happy medium with Joel Olsteen to be completely I love Joel

Lisa Winston: Oh my gosh, he’s like my favorite of all time.

He’s like the best of both worlds and he’s the person that does the stuff and says the things that you know, a lot of other pastors have never done not that I haven’t heard some good messages, you know from other pastors, but He just sparks things in people that are amazing.

Absolutely. And I actually don’t like how people call it the prosperity Bible, because I don’t I think that gives it a bad rep. Yeah, it does. I think there’s so much deeper of a message to be gotten there like the power of I Am. Yeah, it was probably one of the most impactful books that I’ve ever read. I mean, I can ask 100 entrepreneurs with what their most impactful book was, and a lot of them will say Think and Grow Rich, as I’ve read, but it was nowhere up there for me as the Power BI Yeah. Because I’d never thought about it before.

And I love that. Yeah,

yeah. But we have the right to say who we are. I am and I know that I am as also talking about God. But

who are we? I am not a born again, Christian again. Because I was in a congregation, I actually went into a messianic congregation with my ex husband, he was Jewish, and preach the gospel, you know, the Jewishness of the gospel to the Christian churches and all that and did all that stuff and As a ministry for liars, and there was a lot of church abuse that went on where I was the places that I was. And there was a point in time when I was having trouble with my ex husband, that I almost put a gun to my head because of it. But anyway, I almost put a gun to my head one day because of it, because like I said, the community, you know, gathered around me, but it was kind of like when I was in an abusive situation. But the conversation was, you know, you don’t leave an abusive situation with a child. Well, it’s like, we don’t stay in one, you know, and it’s really bad. So I ended up leaving the church altogether, and I go to non denominational, non denominational, you know, congregations and churches and gatherings now, because I really believe, but I really believe you know, the power of Jesus. And, you know, when I lost my house to fire there was a lady next door to me that was a born again, Christian. She said, Well, you don’t have a relationship with Jesus. That’s why your house burned down. And I was livid when she said that and I said to her, excuse me, but I have an incredible relationship with Jesus and with God. And that’s not why my house burned down. So I feel like there’s such truth in the Bible. And I believe that we get to not always listen to what other people say we should do. But we get to actually go within and have a conversation ourselves about what that truth is because there’s big truth there.

So I’m kind of sad rages me, I’m sorry.

Yeah, me too well, she’s the kind of person that gives Christianity a bad name, you know,

right. I remember in the year sort of thinks about growing up Catholic, maybe this is the wrong reason to say that it didn’t stick very well. But I remember leaving service with my mom and pulling out of the parking lot and somebody didn’t like how the church parking lot was just set up way wrong. And somebody actually flipped her off in the parking lot. Like Really? You just sat through the same service? We did. Yeah, I remember no messages from any of the surfaces I went to as a child, but how can you walk out of service and go flip off somebody in the church parking lot? How does that make any sense?

Lisa Winston: Yeah, because they’re not they’re not walking In the inner path walk there just you know a lot of people go because they think it’s the right thing to do or whatever. But that’s what I thought too. I was like churches full of a lot of hypocrites, but you know what? The planet is full of that. We’re all imperfect. It doesn’t matter where we are who we are. But yeah, that’s disturbing that they get to be them. And we get to move away from that, right? Yeah, we get to love them anyway.

So no, and there’s actually now that I’m thinking about it, there’s a huge parallel that I’ve seen in the entrepreneurial space. People go to church and they dress up in their Sunday best you know, and that’s, that’s who they want to be seen as an entrepreneur sometimes do it the same way they’ll get on video. This is my segue. This is how I need to get started. You know, they get on full face and makeup perfect looking house, but it’s not how it is, or, or even just a perfect looking desk because let’s be honest, everything could be just shoved behind the monitor.

Lisa Winston: Well, you should see me I’ve done Facebook lives with mask on you know, the mask challenge hook is a things you know, because it’s like Go get real people. It’s so funny because when you call people to authenticity, especially on Facebook, they’re so scared of visibility. And they’re a lot of people are like, Oh my gosh, two people all over the world that are weird. And something bad’s gonna happen.

Lisa Winston: I’m like, Get over yourself if you say if you say so. But when you call people to really get authentic and post things, you know, like, no makeup challenges and all that. It’s like, you can hear crickets. So we need to go deeper with authenticity, somehow. And that’s not my entire message right now. But if you don’t know who you are, how can you show up powerfully and change the world if you can’t even if you don’t know who you are? You know, that’s where it all starts.

Kim Sutton: Oh, absolutely. And I’ve talked about how I go to the daycare to pick up my kids and sweatsuits and my mama here don’t care hat but I wouldn’t. I haven’t shared a picture of that. And my mate no makeup face to face book just because I didn’t want to be touched.

I love that you’re giving all kinds of challenges today. That is so cool. I and I want to say Congratulations to you for taking the challenge. You know, because so many of us are scared, it’s kind of like it’s time for us just to let that go. The people pleasing thing doesn’t work. It doesn’t work. You can’t please everybody not everybody’s gonna like you. Everybody’s looking through different colored glasses, you get to be you and they get to have their opinions, you know, but you get to be you period. And if they don’t like you, they can go to somebody else’s tribe.

Kim Sutton: What is the day in the life of you look like? Is there any regularity? I know that was a complete

Lisa Winston: No. Are you kidding? No. I’m a flowy empathetic, intuitive creative. Are you kidding? I I’ve been working with coaches for years and, and a lot of the business building stuff I really despise. I do because I want to just fly by the seat of my pants do what I want, blah, blah. You know, and it’s it’s hard work having to learn structure. There are days that I am really successful at it. There are days I fail miserably. And I continue moving forward because you know, you get to learn how to build a business.

Lisa Winston: You can have a business that looks any way you want I mean, eventually, when I went to work with Dr. demartini, one time he was talking about, you know, he, he travels like, you know, 365 days a year and lives on his ship every once in a while and, and I said to him, I said, so how do you do all the things that you do? And he goes, I don’t. He said, a delegate. He said, I have people running my company. He said, I research, teach and travel. That’s all I do, because that’s what I love to do. And that’s why I feel so young. And that really stuck with me. And you know, at first, when you’re building a business, you can’t always do that, because you have to put certain things in place and become visible and all that. But there’s a point where you get to do what you love, because that’s where the impact comes from. That’s where the prosperity comes from being in your flow. So it’s an imperfect journey, and I know it is for everybody. I always say this. It’s like Tony Robbins has bad days. Oprah has bad days. Everybody has bad days. Nobody’s perfect. Doesn’t matter what level you’re at,

in the summer 2015 I was trying to create a whole big online product, which to be totally honest, I had no passionate about but it was along the lines of What I saw everybody else doing, right? And I was trying to rip off their products, not directly but create something that was like theirs. And yeah,

I did that too with my coach.

Yeah. But I even thought this was pretty podcasting, obviously, I even thought that I had to record each lesson in one take. And there was a point where I flubbed it like halfway through the video and my husband was sitting behind me, and he’s like, he sees me have this complete meltdown. Like I’m crying here at my desk. He says, babe, do you think, okay, listeners, my husband doesn’t say this to insult people. He says, Do you think old girl has a meltdown when she has a blooper in the middle of a video? He’s actually talking about Amy Porterfield. Please listen, don’t tell people or Amy Porterfield does. My husband referred to her as Oh girl. Like, no, she stops she probably cusses for a good second. She takes a deep breath and then she keeps on going.

That’s what yeah.

That was a huge Aha. I was like, Yeah, okay. Well, to be completely honest, that course was about Facebook, which

I don’t really care about Facebook list I don’t care about I’m so sick of social media. But to me, it’s like, you have to be a part of it to a certain degree, but I just really don’t care about it either.

I don’t. But I was trying to tell people how to set up their page. The next week, Facebook redesigned, like I had finally finished recording on my own. And,

of course, more than just

the the Bleep with this product. I’m not doing this anymore. And that was like that was the beginning of a whole price six to nine months of what the heck am I doing? You know, what am I trying to do and been there? It took nine months to finally realize and in a couple very insightful messages or conversations with friends, to realize I needed to stop chasing what everybody else was doing and the goal and and the income that they were making, and be Yes,

yes, yes, yes. Yeah, I’ve always said like it to people. I mean, we get to have money to run our businesses and live a good life. Absolutely. That’s the byproduct of service. But, you know, for me, it’s like, Do I want a $20 million business? Well, if it would happen, I would get help doing it. But that’s not my vision for myself. At my age, I don’t see myself like running this big kingdom, you know, because I want to go out and live life and enjoy it too. So that’s just me personally. But that’s a really important conversation about you know, and that’s, that’s, I love that you brought that up because that really is part of the journey right? We do something one way for a couple of years and then we then we were like, why is that so heavy? Why does that feel so hard? Why is it not working? And then we go another route because we realize it’s a level a layer of, you know, who we aren’t the inauthentic us that’s being I mean, I told you I’m transitioning Now again, for like the 40th time in the last five years, and I ran into I was staffing an event for my friend, Brian Witten, and his wife in LA and I ran I don’t know if you ever heard of The brothers chorale they open for pink and Coldplay. And yeah, people like that. Well, I had a conversation with them because they performed for us. They’re actually clients of Brian Nichols. And they did a process where, you know, they would go around the room, we had to close their eyes, and they were playing a melody, and they’re like, just let whatever comes out, come out. I’ve been singing for 40 years, and I was terrified. But they tapped on my shoulder and I did it. And they ended up using that for the song that they were writing. And they came up to me afterwards that we had a conversation and they, they were like, We love your voice and I was blown away because I really put my music like I compartmentalize that it’s like, how can I bring music and art, you know, into coaching? Well, that’s who I am. And probably the coaching is hard because I haven’t been doing my creative stuff. And so spirit really brought a new piece back to me so that’s why that saying yes piece when you feel led to go you know, we’re just talking about this where we go to events or we we meet people right that are brought to us. We get to say yes, when we feel that alignment look when we feel that hit, even when we question it. We don’t know why. Right? We’re going where we’re going are being called to a certain place, we go there, because every time we do that we find some nugget. That leads us to our next step, our next clue about where it is that we’re supposed to go or who we’re supposed to become. And, and it’s always a journey to I mean, people think that they need to be in one profession forever. But we’re always moving and shifting and changing. And the more work we do is, you know, we both do, you start becoming more and different, and then you move into something else. So it’s just this constant, you know, the dance, it’s riding the wave, and it never stops. I don’t know of any high power coaches I’ve talked to that had businesses for 10 years, 20 years, and got called to three or four different things, stop their businesses, shut them down, and went into the next piece. So that’s just a part of the journey.

I can’t even imagine what my life would be like if I was still doing what I went to college for.

I know right? Can you imagine what did you go to college?

This is the hilarious part. I went to school for interior architecture, I went to one of the top arts country My my house, you would completely not No, no.

Your work. You’re not that anymore.

Oh, it didn’t take me long in the field to realize that wasn’t that. Yeah, I think that interior architecture is an interior design is absolutely fabulous. I love walking into a space that has been designed well. However, the industry itself seemed very materialistic. And maybe that should have been the clue way back then that it just, I am not about materialism at all.

But you needed that clearly. Because I believe everything we do has a purpose and a place. There’s always a time we were talking about that too. You know, it’s like if we just miss those parts of ourselves that you know that the time that we’ve taken to, like I went to school to be an elementary teacher, you know, whatever it is that we’ve done, it’s made us more of who we are. And it’s just one piece of the journey, you know, so yeah,

it’s all good. Absolutely. Had it not happened like that. In my my first husband. They were highschool sweethearts, but we moved to New York City to be together after college and had our first son and then moved to Ohio and had our second and had that not happened, then I wouldn’t have met my husband. And so I love that. While I greatly dislike the fact that I’m still paying off student loans I know you know everything for a reason, but I’ll have something for these children for a long time to and they’re worth the price

here darn straight. They are. Yeah, I only had one. I can’t imagine having five but God bless you for that.

Lisa Winston: You’re raising conscious children. I love that.

Kim Sutton: Lisa, what would you say your Why is today? I’m not even gonna say I’m not gonna take a bigger because I have a feeling that you and I our wife could change regularly. But right now what is your WHY?

Lisa Winston: My Why? Because, you know, and I’m sure you’ve had this experience the other days that we’re tired, we work hard we work. You know, we do a lot of inner work. It’s we’re always doing something to get better. And there are days you know, frankly, I’m not quitter. But their days I felt like, yeah, just go get a job or, you know, just I’m tired when I go sit at the beach and look at the water for a while, you know, and the big why that keeps coming back to me as a matter of fact, one of my coaches had offered to create a position in her company for me, you know, as being more of a an intrapreneur, as opposed to an entrepreneur. And that was really that gave me a lot of clarity. When that happened. I was grateful for the opportunity or the offer. But what I realized is, is that I haven’t gotten exactly to where as I’m supposed to be next, you know, the bigger piece. I’m moving into some speaking and things like that, but it’s like my Why is I feel in my soul, that I’m here to impact a lot of people in a greater way, and how that’s going to happen. I don’t really know I’m just trusting the process, but I don’t get to quit. I don’t go. I don’t I mean like if I had to get a day job for what any reason, whatever. I don’t there’s no judgment there. I would do that right. But I will never quit. I will keep moving forward because God put me here. on this planet for a reason, and I know that and I will get to it. That’s my why. It’s just this burning thing inside of my heart that just doesn’t turn off. It just keeps Burning brighter and brighter. And I keep going, Okay, I see it, I hear it, I feel it. Okay. That’s my why

Kim Sutton: I find it interesting that you said if you have to go get a day job, because that’s, it’s crossed my mind. But I’ve realized that it’s something I can’t do, because I’ve thought about it so many times. And as soon as I think about it, then whatever struggle we’re facing around here, not instantly, but very quickly thereafter shifts in turn. I love that route. And I know there is a big difference between cost of living for the two of us. I mean, I’m I’m in Ohio, where cost of living is ridiculously inexpensive. We probably pay more for our animals and our kids every month. Right? Yeah, but if the if the house is paid and the utilities I mean, everything’s not in totally okay because there’s a lot more that takes making a, an awesome life and including communication. But it really doesn’t take that much to take care of that. But again, that that could be a lot more because I am here in Ohio versus California or New York where or any other major metropolitan area where listeners might be tuning in from. Yeah,

and I’d love to speak into that too, because that’s one of my stretches. You know, this mindset about like, again, going back to my parents beliefs and stuff, it was always about you know, you don’t go and get another job till you have another job in place. You don’t spend money until you have money, right, this lack concept about you know, constriction Hold on, and wait, you know, don’t move forward. And my biggest challenge came, you know, it’s like when I you know, I’ve acquired a lot of debt over the years and spent a lot of money on coaching and programs and courses and moving forward and building my business. And there comes a point when everything slows down and you kind of bottom out you get to the pit and this happens with so many coaches, so many people that are in this You know, spiritual work conscious work, where it’s like God says to you, Well, okay, you can freak out, you have choices, you can freak out, you can try to go get alone, you can go get a day job. There are lots of things you can do. But what if this is what my current coach had said to me, you know, early on, what if you just made the commitment to doing whatever it takes, like, you know, when you have no money committing to hiring an assistant, you know, this is what I did hiring assistant hiring a coach that was 1500 a month higher, you know, plus bills Plus, you know, living expenses and building your business. And there was no like, literally, there were no resources. And the funny thing is, is that I said yes to it only because normally I would be freaking out, you know, but I had this alignment. I had this like, every time I said yes to a commitment. I was like my mind was going Holy crap, what are you doing? But I had this piece I had this inner alignment. I felt solid, even when I didn’t know how You know, or why or where anything I just every decision I made, I came from a space of solid alignment. And of course, our heads want to take us in 40 directions, we’re not safe, we’re not safe danger will Robinson, you know. And I really feel that we’re all being called to a deeper walk. So if we’re here to really impact the world in a great way, because there was the I want to just put this out there right now. And that is there are a lot of people on the planet right now, in the coaching industry that are completely out of integrity. They’re out of integrity.

They’re just men. Yes.

sucking money from people, and they’re lying to people.

Kim Sutton: And I’ve been asked how much money you had available on a credit card, or how many credit cards I had.

Lisa Winston: No…

Kim Sutton: When interviewing a coach.

Lisa Winston: No…

Kim Sutton: I’ve had it happen multiple times.

Lisa Winston: Well, that’s not okay. No, absolutely. nobody’s business First of all,

yeah, I do agree. Like we can challenge ourselves to uplevel our life personally and professionally. And it does take a step outside the comfort zone. When I started my business in 2012. I was uncomfortable This is embarrassing. I was uncomfortable paying GoDaddy $10 a month for my hosting. Yes, no expense I had at that time.

Yeah. But it’s not it’s not embarrassing, because you know, that’s where we all start. That’s why people go and they buy a $10 program and a $57 program or they get all these freebies, right. And then they have all this stuff sitting on their computer, they have no accountability, no support, no hand holding, no nothing. They end up not doing anything. And they think that they’re saving money. But in reality, they just spent that $10,000 on, you know, 55 products that were cheap,

that they’ll never use because they’re sitting right in hard drive, collect one for just

and they’re not you know, it’s that shiny object syndrome where, you know, we’re out it’s out of desperation. It’s like, Oh, my God, I need this. I need it. And it’s like, you’re not focusing on one thing, you’re in your head, you’re in lack, you’re in desperation. And see, that’s where I love this because I really feel like, again, those of us in this business are being called to be what it is that we’re here to teach. Like, if we’re not living if we haven’t experienced it, then we can’t teach it like that’s the that would feel to me like being a frog. You know, and so I feel like we’re being called to be to be tested on a greater level, again that that saying yes, and allowing life to refine you and allowing yourself to be stripped naked, completely naked, like not knowing where you’re going, where it’s coming from, right, like not knowing anything like, you know, put your hands out and surrender and just say, okay, God, I don’t know, you’re, you’re telling me I’m aligned. I don’t know how it’s gonna happen. I’m scared. Like, I’ve never done this before. But I trust you’re going to take me there. And then it’s one day at a time, one minute at a time. And that’s what I think we’re being called to. I am being called to that. And it’s super uncomfortable, but I’m doing it anyway. I’m doing it. Anyway.

Lisa, last probably about a year ago, at this time I was I saw an invitation to apply for a mastermind and it looked like a great opportunity. The person who promoted it is a mentor that I’ve been following for quite some time. And I wasn’t really familiar with the woman who was running it, but I applied anyway, and I ended up having a conversation with her. But at that time, there was So many struggles that were going on in my life financially, that I didn’t know how I was going to do it. So I actually put out the challenges with her. And I said, What would you do? And I was amazed that the response back was, I don’t want you to sign up right now. I’m not looking to bankrupt you by having you join this program. Yeah. And I gained so much respect for her office at just knowing that she didn’t say go ask for a loan, sort of like when the collections people call, and they went out if you can make a payment, or it was there anybody who can help you? Yeah, well, I know it’s your job. Thankfully, I haven’t had to deal with one of these calls in quite some time. But don’t ask me that. If there are people that could help, then I’ve probably already tapped them for much more than I should have. And then I right before our call, I’m not gonna mention names, but I’ve already told you I was at a call about a new mastermind. And he said, You know, I want to make sure that whoever joins, it’s financially the best decision at this time. Yeah, and there’s Yeah, so much respect there. If you’re a coach, please know number one that your product is going to, without a doubt change the life of the people or person who’s entering it. And don’t ask them to go get 10 new credit cards and go to family to get loans, join your program, because it’s just don’t

Well, that’s what I was taught, you know, by my first coach, and I did it. And I’ve had people do that, because they weren’t, they really wanted to work with me, but in reality, we’re not in the business of convincing anybody about anything. And in reality, I believe that if we are aligned with our, our purpose and our message, and you know, and we really resonate with somebody, they really are called to us. That’s an Attractor Factor. It’s like, you know, we magnetize people to us,

if there’s a will there’s a way right,

well, yeah, and if there there’s a fear factor too. And I get that like some people, you know, talk about, you know, it’s like they want to change but when they know that they want to do it. You know, I’ve had that experience with coaching clients that are like what they make a call. They’re like, I know that I’m an animal. In, you send them a contract, and then they get cold feet and they run away, because they’re afraid of change, you’re terrified. And that happens. But again, you know, there’s this piece to that’s timing. There are a lot of people that will come back in a year or two, you know, when they’re ready, or they’ve grown more or whatever. So, there are a lot of pieces to that puzzle. But yeah, we’re not in the business of lying and convincing. And yeah, I hate the word selling By the way, it just, it’s really enrolling people in their vision, but it’s not about selling anything.

Oh, can I borrow that enrolling people in their vision? I absolutely love that.

It is, you know, enrolling people. I mean, in whatever it is that they’re here to do. That’s so funny. I was just talking about my coach and she popped up online.

Her ears must be burning. Oh, absolutely.

Yeah. Questions about Yes. You and your business. Lisa, do you keep a to do list?

Lisa Winston: I do.

Kim Sutton: How many items do you keep visible to you at any one point or is it as many items as are on the to do list as a whole?

Lisa Winston: Well, let me tell you what I do because I’m a visual.

Kim Sutton: Yes, please.

Lisa Winston: So I get those huge post it notes that are pink and yellow and blue. And I get my big Sharpies. And what I do is I have various ones like I have a huge post it note up here with all my podcasts interviews, when they’re happening, I still have them in my calendar, and I have my assistant do that too. But I have probably 12345677 or eight big projects coming up. Plus, I’m working with two coaches and doing a lot there. But that’s overwhelming.

Lisa Winston: So I kind of keep track of what it is I have to do overall. And I have an idea of when that has to happen, you know, on the calendar. But in reality, I can only take on maybe two pieces a day that’s besides, you know, like sending out an email to my list and that kind of stuff, but you can’t focus on anything well if you’re doing 10 different pieces at one time. And that’s the way that I used to fly all the time. And there are there days I still do that, you know, because there are there’s a lot to do. But again, if you you’ve got to make time for yourself.

Lisa Winston: First of all, I used to work 16 hour days and I was killing myself for what I do, you know. So what I do now is I really literally have, say two things that I have to really focus on and get to focus on in a day’s time. And then it goes through and I make checkmarks because that’s how I do it. That’s just the way I do it. Kind of old fashioned, but it works for me.

Kim Sutton: No, thank you. I actually, I try to keep no more than three in front of me at any given point. Yeah, because and I don’t look at the big project. I just look at the tasks, right, exactly. Because I tell myself I listeners it’s been a month since my websites were hacked as of the time of this recording and I’m not even finished rebuilding one that but I’m not gonna put up there on my task list or on my to do list rebuild. KIM SUTTON, calm I’m gonna put up there Okay, today I need to tackle this page or this post. Because it’s not just about the pages. It’s about getting all the podcast episodes back up. So you use posts, are there any tech tools that you like for keeping track of everything?

Lisa Winston: Boy, I use various things. I just actually got Infusionsoft because I had wanted to do that. And it wasn’t the timing, but you know, to automate things and now they’re I probably have to hire somebody actually to run that because they were trying to train me and you know me and technical stuff. I’m like, where? And I have a VA who could probably do it too, but

I’m trying to that’s what I do as a paid job, right? Oh, yeah, of course. Well,

that was

when it’s time. Yeah, like just doing emails right now.

Okay, so funny. Yeah, this was pre rehearsed with No, I know. I know. Yeah, it wasn’t. It wasn’t. That’s so cool. That’s right. I totally forgot. So you said that

like, yeah, that’s right. You do that? Yeah. I love that and soft out of Infusionsoft. Infusionsoft. Yes, it’s, it’s a, an amazing tool. But there’s a lot to learn. And when you’re doing, you know, different lots of different things. It’s hard to do that. So I really want to automate, I want to simplify, I get to find ways of working smarter, not harder, which is what I had been doing for years. But basically, I’m very simple. You know, I still have my Google Calendar. And like besides in my my computer, and you know, I used to have Hootsuite Oh, kinds of things that after a while, right, you get so many different platforms. You can’t even keep track of them anymore. So I’m in the process right now. Like I said, I hired an assistant. So I’m in the process of organizing and you know, making things more simple. Because I have way too many things before that, and nobody can work efficiently when they have that happening.

No, absolutely not. My first proposals that I was sending out when I started the business in 2012, actually told people that I was a phenomenal multitasker and proud of it. Looking back, I’m like, Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I actually even got hired. Clearly those people didn’t realize that multitasking is bad.

It is and and another suggestion too, for people when you’re out there, you know, everybody their social media now that you know, there’s Instagram and there’s Periscope, there’s all this stuff. And for me, when I hear that I shut down, I’m like, Oh, my gosh, one more social media piece of really, I mean, who has time in a day to do all that? So, you know, it’s just a matter of picking like you said, you know, one to three things maybe and doing it Daily and just focusing, put your putting your focus there and letting all of it build from that that space. You can’t do it all. You shouldn’t have to. Thank you.

Yeah, you’re welcome. Thank you.

Thank you for the reminder too.

Yeah, I actually had a mom of twins asked me the other night how I do everything. And I just told her I don’t. Yeah, that’s why I love that my long basket.

Yeah, that’s, that’s an honest answer. I love that.

Yeah. Lisa, thank you so much for joining us here today. This has been a phenomenal conversation. Just thank you. I can’t wait to have you back on the show again in the future. Where can listeners find you online connect and get to know more about you?

Lisa Winston: Oh, thank you for asking. Yeah, just go to YesEqualsSuccess.com. YesEqualsSuccess.com. And that will have all my information on that page. Easy as that.

Kim Sutton: Oh, that’s so easy. Yeah. listeners that you can find any of the books that we’ve talked about, show notes, the transcription at thekimsutton.com/pp174.

Lisa Winston: So what I have for your listeners today is a free gift. It’s a tool kit. And I’m actually developing some new ones because I’ve had these for a while, but my whole deal is, you know, make it simple. Get the easy button out, right. And nobody has a ton of time in a day. I know. It’s all about making time not having time.

Lisa Winston: But I have a kit that I’d actually love to share because I feel it’s very foundational, and it’s called the Essential Daily Toolkit. It consists of a couple of meditations for grounding, and there’s one that Spirit gave me years ago, it’s called the Love Expansion Meditation. And my own clients and myself have experienced profound shifts by actually committing to doing that process every day where the love, you know, ripples out that comes back in it really expands your own self love, but divine love you feel it in your heart at a really amazing you know, level where you can sit in it. You’ve never felt like like love like that before. And I believe that that’s foundational to everything that we do.

Lisa Winston: And then I also have my ebook, 30 Days to Discover Your Authentic (?) and people are also welcome to, you know, sign up for a consultation complimentary with me as well. So I like to make it easy. And that is what I’m offering everybody today so they can get really foundational with their journey going back to basics.

Kim Sutton: Oh, awesome.

Lisa Winston: and we’re gonna get that on yes to success as well or yes equals success as well.

Kim Sutton: I will have a link there for you.

Lisa Winston: Yeah.

Kim Sutton: Listeners, I will put that in the show notes, which again, you can find at thekimsutton.com/pp174.

Lisa, do you have a last piece of parting advice or golden nugget that you can offer to listeners today?

Lisa Winston: I would love to just say that, I know the journey is oftentimes confusing. And in reality if you remember number one, there are two things I want to leave with your listeners and that is that life is always happening for us. It never happens to us.

Lisa Winston: Even when circumstances look like they’re bad. You know, we talked about no bad no good. It’s just it just is There’s always something a golden nugget that comes from that. You know, it’s like sometimes you don’t get a job but thank God you didn’t get the job because it wasn’t the right job in the first place. So life is happening for us. Always.