PP 198: Too Busy to Get Busy with Jane Guyn

Quick Show Notes – Too Busy to Get Busy with Jane Guyn

Jane was the Chief Swine Officer at Piggy Plan, a company providing paper mache piggy banks to fundraising organizations, when she realized her life needed to change. In this episode, Jane shares the story of her transformation from drab housewife to fab, hot wife.

Jane and I bare all in this chat about sexuality, eroticism, and the importance of knowing ourselves and recognizing our deepest desires.

.@pleasure_plan & @thekimsutton bare all in this chat about sexuality, eroticism, and the importance of knowing ourselves and recognizing our deepest desires: https://thekimsutton.com/pp198Click To Tweet

Resources Mentioned

Jane’s Book – Too Busy To Get Busy
— In the US, text your name and email to 541-444-0112
— OR visit https://www.janeguyn.com to get your free copy

Sleepless in Seattle
The Bucket List
AdoreMe.com
New Media Summit

Episode Transcription – Too Busy to Get Busy with Jane Guyn

Transcription not yet cleaned up but thanks for checking it out!

Welcome back to another episode of positive productivity. This is your host KIM SUTTON. I’m so thrilled that you’re here to join us today. Also thrilled to introduce our guest, Jane Quinn. Shane is the queen of happy endings at grown up love Jane, welcome. I’m so happy you’re here. Thank you so much. So happy to be here with you, Kim. Now I am intrigued right off the bat because listeners every guest who comes on whether or not I knew them from before and Jane and I met several months ago, I can’t believe it was that long ago already. every guest fills out a guest profile form just to help me make it a little bit easier for myself. Jane, you started your journey as an entrepreneur as a chief swine officer at Peggy plan. Crazy title.

No. Well, I had this small import business where I I contracted with people in the Philippines to make paper machine a piggy banks, and my company was piggy plan and I would sell those piggy banks to schools, nonprofits and churches so they could use them in their fundraising. I called myself the the chief swine officer. Yep, I was the pig lady.

Oh my goodness. So how did everything transition after that? Because it’s definitely a big transition from that role to what you do today. Can you share more about your journey and also what you do today with the listeners? You bet?

Jane Guyn: Well, yeah, you know, what happened was my life at the time I had. The plan was really very focused on my kids. And actually, it’s still is in many ways, I’ve got a big family. We’ve got six kids, and three of our kids are adopted three came to us in the traditional way. But I was I was really in this supermom role at that time, Kim and I and my business my picky plan business was a reflection of that and I liked it, but it wasn’t really addressing my passion area. And yeah, I really fell into Such a an experience of being completely a mom. And even in my business a mom even in piggy plant a mom. In fact, you know, maybe you’d be surprised to know that I was one of those moms who wore the floral purple. Hannah Anderson matching dress with my daughter’s little beautiful purple dresses to a family wedding. I was that mom.

I cannot picture that at all.

There’s pictures, there’s a photo somewhere in my garage. And

yeah, there is a picture. My brother in law gave me so much crap about it. He was just like, what are you doing in that, like, prairie woman dress and, and at the time, it really reflected who I was because I completely forgotten who I was as a sexual person, which actually ended up almost cost me my marriage. Really, really tough because, you know, I became I’m so connected to my business, my focusing on the kids through my business and in my parenting that I really lost track of that like that. That woman that I’d been when we first met Jim and I’ve been married, like over 30 years now, and I, I’d really forgotten about that part of myself.

Oh, congratulations on that. Number one. That’s, that’s a huge accomplishment, especially today. Yeah, yeah. Congratulations. Thank you listeners, I forgot to say. And I know that I listened to podcast sometimes with some of my kids in the car at home. This episode may not be totally suitable for listening ears. But that is totally up to you. I know. I allowed my older kids to listen to just about anything because they’ll learn it somewhere if they don’t learn it from me. But I do just want to give you that disclaimer. To jump us forward a little bit. How did everything begin to change?

Well, as I mentioned, I was in this supermom role and one of the things that was happening in my life is, the more I got really connected to like all of the nuts and bolts of the days with my kids, I kind of also became pretty isolated. I had my business manage out of my home, I had like boxes and boxes of these paper machine pigs in the basement. And I was stressed about that. I was also stressed about a lot of things that were going on with my kids. You know, I was running him from one super activity to another super activity constantly on the go, and I got really kind of burned out and Boyd and I spent a lot of time complaining when I talked to my husband. And, you know, it affected our marriage. And it turned out that there was another moment in his life who actually was really not in such a negative headspace and she was a lot more pleasant and positive. Hear I was annoyed, irritable. And it’s not that we he and I fought a bunch, but we just kind of there was a shift. And somehow he did not have an affair with this woman, what we would call an affair, which is just wonderful and actually points out what a high integrity person is. But I gotta say, they became close. And it’s just, I’m grateful they didn’t actually have what we would call an affair. But I when I realized that this other relationship had become warmer than you know, really what was going on between us that actually gave me it was a wake up call to to take back myself as a woman and not just as a mom. So I, I really, really looked at that and and started a journey into myself to discover what did happen to like this. This woman who was madly in love with her husband, what did happened to me that me that I knew for so long.

Wow. And I can hear a lot of people also saying, Wow, Jane, I’ve been married twice and the the first marriage listeners if your kids, like if you’re a young kid listening to your parent or listening with your parents. I don’t know what Jane would think. But I would have to advise not marrying your high school sweetheart. There’s a whole world out there waiting for you to discover. But I married my high school sweetheart. And it was just it was not meant to be for us. And with my husband, I mean, we’ve had three we had three kids and 16 months, just a couple years ago, and I can’t imagine I can’t I can’t imagine my husband having another woman friend who was warmer than me like and so Bravo to your husband. Like you already said Bravo to him for not doing anything that would be regrettable later. But I yeah, I mean, I can’t imagine I can’t imagine ever straying on my husband. But I can imagine that it would be very difficult if he was always a downer to just have that warm and pleasant relationship with him and, and not think about the grass being greener somewhere else. So you realize that changes needed to be made.

Yeah. How right? What type of journey was that?

Jane Guyn: Well, the thing that was really interesting about it is that we had started out as just this absolutely passionate couple. So you know, one of the things that I remember you know, we met in a hospital and I was a student nurse wearing the little white socks, the tights and the white really white shoes and this is back in the day when nurses wore those little kind of traditional nursing uniforms. I even had a hat I used to wear

Just make sure you know, the Halloween store. We’ve just passed Halloween listeners. And I’m just thinking the Halloween store that’s like, the classic old school nurses uniform is right there. And you know that it’s just meant to turn some guy on

your bed. And he was that he was the handsome young intern. And so we had this like very, like, I don’t know, just incredibly like strong draw toward each other. And I remember this one experience where, fortunately that the hospital janitor did not open the door in this one room where we found each other. I mean, it was a very exciting relationship from the beginning and it continued to be so it was very unusual for us to find ourselves kind of disconnected in this way. It was not like us, it’s not like we’d started off more friends when we started. started off as really passionate lovers. As a couple, the beginning of our relationship had been really, really electric. So when I realized I’d become the woman who wore the purple dress to a family wedding, and I saw how, how this had affected my connection with him, I started reading and I gotta say, Kim, my library at that time was packed with books about kids. I was an expert on child development, you know, discipline, I had book after book about how to make a fantastic Halloween costume more fun things, crafts, all sorts of things like that, that I was very proud of my mothering abilities, and really engaged with that and with parent Ed, and, you know, I’m not saying these are bad things because these are a big part of who I was, and still am. But it was there was nothing, not one piece. on my bookshelf, and I had many, many, many books at that time, there was nothing in there about my marriage, nothing about relationship, nothing about sex. Absolutely nothing unless it was sex, and talking about sex to kids. So like how to talk to your kids about sex when they’re, you know, whatever age, you know, some book about that I had that but I had nothing else. So I went on this, I kind of started looking at that, and started reading, and reading and reading and reading and reading. And I learned a ton about like, what, what was out there what people had said, and I decided I wanted to work in that field because I felt like there are so many women like, like me out there. And it was so challenging for most of us to balance being a mom, being a business owner, and still being having enough energy and connection and, you know, I get In a way openness, energetic openness or timeframe openness to really be, be in love, you know, be connected and be passionately in love with our partner.

I’m over here thinking about the event. listeners, you’ve heard previous guests and I talked about the new media summit, which is where Jane and I met. Jane. I don’t think I’ve I maybe discussed this on the show briefly in one of my solo episodes, but and this is so embarrassing. But getting ready for new media summit, which was the first time I had left my family since my twins were born. And they’re going to be three interests. A couple months, I realized I had a problem. And that problem is embarrassing as the sound. I had neglected undergarments for years, because of the kids. Like it’s one of the least favorite things for me to shop for. I just don’t like shopping period. But when I heard about the service and no listeners, this is not sponsored by however, maybe I should get a sponsorship from adorama.com it became a date night for my husband and we had the website open. I was like, What would you like? And his, his eyes just lit up. He’s like, really awesome. I love that. It’s like, I didn’t realize how excited this would make you like, I wish I would have done this a long time ago. But those things like wearing the same dresses your daughter or in my case, I was still wearing underwear that I’d gotten after the twins were born. I mean, quite literally nursing bras and I hadn’t nursed in two years, but they were what fit my boobs. Just being totally transparent here. But yes, it had become just blah. And so as these monthly it’s it’s a monthly subscription every month you get to pick out an He said, he actually told me this is better than Lootcrate I’m not sure if you’re familiar with Loot Crate but it’s for it’s for video gamers and it’s like all the

loot crate, babe, you can keep this as long as you want.

Yeah, but it even made me start feeling better like I could sit a little bit taller. I mean, I’m I’m wearing a hot Braun panties today, you know? Yeah. I didn’t realize that that little bit of splurge on me would be such an improvement for both of us. I know listeners are sir. Yeah, sure. Amen. Yeah.

Yeah,

right. Absolutely. Because it matters and really that is my main message when I work with my clients is actually connection sexuality, intimacy, this stuff matters. And it’s really our responsibility as individuals. So it’s on me personally to create in myself the sense of sexuality. eroticism, if you will, what and to know myself as a person, a sexual person, as I go through my everyday life, and I think cam that when we do that, it expands. It creates an ability for us to be more, more of what we’re meant to be. And I don’t mean like that we’re going to go out. I call it leaking erotic energy, you know, like on other people, but it just allows us to be more expansively who we actually authentically are and people like, hey, she looks, she’s got such a grin. Or look at that sparkle and they see you walking with your husband. He knows he’s you’ve got that really hot red set on underneath your outfit. And you know, there’s this there’s a different book that he’s got then and people Know that you know these people, they are into each other, they love each other. That’s fantastic modeling for our kids, in my opinion, the best gift we can give our I can hear the people who are on the security cameras at the grocery every time they see us coming together, which is not very often usually it’s just running one of us running to the store when the other ones at home with the kids.

But if it would, if it were the same person every time on they’re like, oh boy, because I had to watch what my husband is. If he’s walking behind me, he’s either watching my butt or he’s trying to figure out how you can slap it without anybody saying

that, that’s amazing. And that is so good. But you know what we women don’t typically talk about that. In my opinion, my experience like we don’t really talk about it when we have something great going on in the bedroom. We don’t like say it to each other. In a lot of ways. I don’t know how you’ve experienced this Kim, but I think a lot of have us talk about how we don’t have an interest in sex and oh, my husband, he’s always, you know, wanting me wanting it. And you know, he doesn’t he doesn’t want me he wants it. We don’t, we don’t actually encourage each other to figure out how to make it better for us. You know, I’m not talking about being somebody who’s into duty sex. I am not into that at all. I’m talking about creating a way to get what you personally want. And that takes some knowingness and looking back at what your life’s been, like, up until now and what’s going on today, almost as if it were, like a health plan, you know, or, like, a shift in your diet and exercise. Specifically, we’re creating a practice of yoga. It’s the same kind of thing where we think about like, how, what have I been? How am I socialized around this? How did I get here? Okay, how did they get to this place I am today. And, like, do I like it is it Working for me, and maybe it’s not working for me. And so then like, what do I want it to be like, I want to have this passionate, wonderful, erotic, amazing, loving relationship with my husband for the next 30 years. And how do I make that happen if I’m not actually attending to it, because like, what we put our attention on is what we Oh, absolutely growing, right.

And what we have both noticed, because my husband was married twice before me is that communication is the key. We can talk about anything. And we do talk about anything and everything in that includes sex. Like whether we like something or whether we don’t like something, but it all has, in my opinion as to start outside of the bedroom. Because if you can’t have that open line of communication, and express when you’re not happy about something in everyday life, like non sexual life Then how are you possibly going to say what you want or don’t want or what you like or don’t like, when you’re in the heat of the moment?

Yeah, I totally agree. And I would even step back one step before that, and that is to a place of actually deep knowing of yourself. Because sometimes, you know, if we don’t really tune into that to what what it is that we actually want, then maybe we just get like, well, I don’t like what it is. It’s not right right now or I haven’t, you know, it just isn’t. It’s not, it’s just too vague. or requests are vague, because we haven’t done our own inner work around it. And we haven’t really tuned into what it is that we kind of, like fantasize about, or you know, maybe we’re, I mean, frankly, some of this stuff is can be kind of embarrassing. It’s certainly very funny a lot of the time, if we let it be fun and playful, but you know, maybe you have an erotic fantasy that is embarrassing to share, and that you We’d really like to share it. And so figuring that out and being honest with yourself about what what you’d like to share what you’d like to talk about whether you would ever participate in the fantasy in real life, just talking radically with your partner can be really a fantastic, fun thing to do. And something that really makes both people have a great time. So there’s a lot of inner work that we can do to make it even better than than it is right now. If it’s fantastic, it can always get better. It can always get better. That’s my opinion.

Yeah, I didn’t realize that. But it just seems that that’s we surprised ourselves. I know this is a completely different episode than you’re used to listeners. But around here, it’s always surprising that it continues to get better even though we’ve been together for seven years. Awesome.

Jane Guyn: I love that. Do you find that when you have great sessions in the bedroom with your husband that your productivity and other areas increases?

Never thought about that. But I’ll tell you when when it’s desired on either side, when there’s a need for it, productivity definitely decreases. You know, when, if I’m sitting at my desk thinking right now, I want some, yeah, that it’s hard to be productive when I’m like, Okay. Let’s get it on, you know. But yeah, no, but I’ve never thought about it the other way around. But now that I’ve said the opposite to you, I would have to say yes. Yeah.

Jane Guyn: Yeah. Because then you have that it decreases your stress. When you have great sex, great connection. increases your sense of being known, appreciated, understood. All of a sudden, things just are some things that may have caused a lot of anxiety. Just kind of settle down a little bit. And studies actually indicate this. I don’t know if you and I talked about this, but I have a PhD in human sexuality. So what ended up happening is I started out as Molly mom and the purple dress and the pig lady, this Mrs. cheeps, white officer, and then I went on this journey, international journey really to learn about sex and some of the sexiest places in the world and eventually got a PhD in human sexuality. And then and during that I studied all the psychological literature about what how sex affects relationships. And one of the things I found out is that when we have sex problems, it really drops down the relationship satisfaction by like, 75% Oh, that is a mean and Isn’t that amazing? Yeah. Yeah. And but when we it when we have a great sex life, it increases our relationship satisfaction, but not by 75%. it just pulls us up like 10 to 15%. So but that is enough to lift us up. And it makes many of the problems that we might be having. Maybe arguments about money, kids in law’s work schedule, whatever, those things become less concerning less upsetting, and they have less impact. So when you fix the sex problem in your relationship, you can actually fix some of the other pieces at the same time without specifically addressing them, which I find really fascinating.

I want to go back to what you were saying earlier, about, you know, really knowing what you want, and having the communication with yourself. First off. When I was right at the end of my marriage with my ex husband, I watched the bucket list. And I was inspired to create a soulmate spec sheet because at that point, I decided that I would rather be single for the rest of my life than to ever be in a bad relationship again. So this list and I actually just found that the other day I didn’t realize it was in my journal. It talks into a folder in the back But the list is a 57. I think I’ve been telling you listeners that at 62 items long, but it was 57 items long. And I listed everything that I wanted out of me. And no joke. Two weeks later, three weeks later, maybe I was looking for furniture for my new apartment and I saw the men looking for women section on Craigslist. I only click the link, because I wanted to see what I’m just gonna say what assholes around they’re looking for women. But there he was my husband. And he had written like, his whole wish list. He had the longest post up there have anybody, but I’m reading it and I’m like, blown away. Because all of a sudden, I can see the parallels. It’s like this guy just got ahold of my soulmate spec sheet and he’s just copied it from the male’s perspective. Here’s what I’ll do. Here’s what I’ll do. I even have on my list. I wanted somebody who would paint my toenails in right there. And it’s amazing, right? They’re in his ad. He’s like, oh, and I paint. I paint nails. I was raised by, I had three women in my house growing up, and they taught me and it’s just, I like to treat the lady I’m with and I’ll paint your nails. And that’s just one of the many things that was in there. So don’t be afraid listeners to if you’re single. Don’t be afraid that anybody’s gonna find that sheet but whether it be on your phone or in your journal or anywhere, get real with yourself on exactly what you’re looking for because he is out there. Earlier, Jane, you mentioned magic or electric. By that point, I was convinced that there was no such thing. Like I would watch Sleepless in Seattle and hear them say it was like magic and I would just roll my eyes and like there’s no such thing. Are you kidding? But then I found it. It’s out there listeners. If you’re single, it’s out there. Just keep your eyes open.

Jane Guyn: Absolutely, absolutely. I completely I agree with you, Kim. And that sense of knowing what you want and really settling into that and being open to it and, and, and also taking responsibility for the knowingness and for the releasing of whatever is in your way. What we need to do is be willing to receive the pleasure and the beautiful connection with another person. And sometimes there’s stuff there that, you know, we don’t feel worthy of receiving or we’re frightened to receive. We’ve been put down in the past when we’ve asked for something when we’ve not we’ve asked for something and it hasn’t been what we wanted. So we’re afraid to ask again. So be willing and open to receive what what is really in your, your, your, your, your true desire, that part of yourself that really desires full connection and intimacy and, and in all parts of your life but also in your sexual life. I mean, This is part of our birthright. And I think sometimes we forget that Kim.

Oh, I agree, man thinking of right now about the parallels between sex life and entrepreneurial life, many of us just don’t have the confidence to think, Oh, I can go out there and get this big five figure contract or more, because I’m not worthy of it, or I’m just not skilled. And I mean, just like I thought that outlet check in magic didn’t exist. I went for a while. Oh, I hope his new wife isn’t listening. I went for a while. Or forever in my old marriage thinking that orgasms with a male didn’t exist.

Like I just

thought they were fiction. But yeah, they are.

Yeah, right.

Right, because you because when we we have really we have limiting beliefs about sex. And that’s not our fault. One of the reasons is we’ve been lied to about sex by Hollywood, the culture around us, maybe our families, maybe just the situation we grew up in, or could be a previous partners, the way our life worked up until now, what’s happened to us, many of us have had sexual harassment or assault experiences. And some of these things have really shut us down and kept us from asking for what we really deserve now, because you know what, that’s the past. And while it’s really painful, when we’ve had really difficult things happen to us, or maybe it’s not even asked him it’s maybe like a sister or a daughter or friend who’s had something difficult happens sexually and we kind of take that on as well. So when we take on a lot of these things, things from society from maybe from Hollywood maybe from the media, maybe from other parts of our upbringing these things kind of get in the way of what we actually want because we believe the myth that either it has to be completely simple the way it looks in Hollywood right the notebook up even for watch that great scene where Allie and no go up the stairs and have this incredibly we all expect that. And okay, if it’s not that we think well, you know, all guys are horrible. They all abuse the women and there’s never a good situation. So why was I even ever wanting anything? There’s so many horrible things out there that have happened to so many people and to me, maybe in all these things about my life, I’m not I’m going to give up. I’m going to give up on sex and having a great sex life. It’s it’s a fairy tale. Like you said, Kim, it’s, you know, I don’t believe it. It’s the it’s the magic that doesn’t exist. But I push back on that and say that It actually does exist. It’s just that we haven’t ever been taught how to get it you know how to really negotiate for what? What’s in for something that’s fantastic for us, like, you know, wow, when I know what I want, and I can actually claim it and show up that way. It’s, it can be so beautiful. And I’ve actually created a seven step simple process for doing that. Because it’s not it’s not as hard as it looks when we just deconstruct it and start to realize that this is a problem. We can solve like, lots of other problems. And then we get to figure out like, Oh my gosh, I’m we’re together and it’s no longer a problem. It’s fantastic. It’s like an incredibly enjoyable, fun part of life.

I want to circle back around to your seven step process in just a moment. But you wrote too busy to get busy, which is such a great title. Can you share more about your book with the listeners?

Jane Guyn: You bet. So I you know, I started my before I was the pig lady in the Chiefs wine officer. I was actually and I think I mentioned this because I was wearing little white nursing outfit I started out as a nurse. So and I was a UCLA trained nurse. So I was well trained and I thought about life in a in a kind of practical manner because that’s the way nurses are, you know, we we take care of people and we look at the whole person we’re not just looking at one part of the the body or one part of the you know, the psyche we look at the whole person and I had faced this issue in my relationship where I had become that too busy mom. And so I knew there were a lot of people out there and and many of my friends were in that that role I guess I call it that life of too busy, so tired, you know overworked and certainly not feeling sexy. Not feeling you know, erotically charged her interested in sex, for a lot of really good reasons, actually. And usually they’d say they were too busy or too tired. But when I dug into it a little more in conversations with friends and other people, what I found is it’s not actually that people are too busy when we say we’re too busy, but because sex doesn’t usually take that long. Sometimes, you know, you can stretch it out, have a fantastic four hour deal in the afternoon and, you know, make it a really long session. But for most of us, it’s a fairly brief experience, maybe, I don’t know. And let’s call it 20 minutes. Let’s call it half an hour. Let’s call it 10 minutes. The study the study show, it’s more like five or six minutes, but well, you know, let’s make it a bigger timeframe because just for the sake of conversation, but let’s say let’s say half hour, what really people are running into is not a problem with timing. It’s a problem with getting to A place where both people understand each other well enough. And a lot of the other things have been talked about the things that need to be talked about in order to actually want to have sex that can take a long time, right? That can take a long time to get to where you’re open to having sex, because actually, you’re really irritated about what happened last week, or you’re annoyed about something that happened in the checkbook or you’re worried about, you know, the quarter lease or whatever, there’s, you know, fill in the blank, whatever it is, your kid just, you know, found out your kids using drugs or something happened with a boyfriend, your daughter’s boyfriend has been over and you’re concerned about that, or there’s so many other things that get in the way of actually being together. And that is the too busy thing is that we’re too busy being upset with each other or with life, to actually make time for sex in our relationship. Wow.

I never really thought about it that way.

However, I, you didn’t bring this up. But I’ve often heard the excuse of, Oh, I have a headache. And yeah, yeah. Don’t use headaches as an excuse if you really have a headache have sex because it will get rid of it.

Jane Guyn: Totally.

But yeah, all those extras can definitely get in the way. I’ve found that I’ve started removing myself from screens and from social media and the life outside of our walls, at least an hour before bedtime. And yes, there are those nights or days where just kids don’t use kids as an excuse either. I have five kids. Jane has six. If we can do it, you can do it.

But the point here, yeah, that’s

right. That’s right. I’ve been removing myself from all that external influences, and then trying to journal for an hour before bed. So everything that’s on my mind goes into my journal. And as I already mentioned, like my husband, I communicate about everything. So we don’t, it’s a rare, it’s been four times in seven years that we fought. So it’s rare that anything would go into the bedroom or into the bed. That’s frustrated me about him. But giving me that time that’s been towed and download at the end of the day, and not have all the external, blah, you know, that I can’t describe it any better than that, but it just external blah. definitely helps.

Right? That’s completely true. And the practice that you’re describing Kim is such a beautiful practice and that, that removing of all of those apps External pieces, the external block pieces from the bedroom and you know, and the screens and the little blue lights and all of the other influences that come in on us from the outside world and creating a place where you both want to be, which may not necessarily actually that that’s your kind of describing a sex nest, which I is one of the ways that people like to be together sexually. That’s beautiful. And you know, a lot of us love that. There are other people who really like I call them the risky business people. So some people just you know that the sexiness doesn’t turn them on. They want to be in the garage in the minivan. They want to be someplace risky like that there’s an environmental cue that is different, so starting to know you know who you are, and like, Is it the end of the day when you can get erotically connected or is it are you more of a lunch, sex lunch kind of person you want to meet for lunch. And you know, spend time together when the kids are at school or daycare during the day because you’re both awake and it’s light out and you love that. You know, there’s but there’s so much knowing you can have here about like, what kind of environment that’s one of the pieces for me is that like, I use the word bedroom is an acronym and his environment and like, what kinds of environments you know, turn you on? What kinds turn you off, like so many people have like, laundry in the bedroom. And that’s not a turn on having all your laundry done to dirty laundry say, That’s not a turn on in your master bedroom and where you sleep. How do you fix that so that you can have a great sex life, even in the middle of family and even the middle of too busy, right? We’re all who isn’t too busy. Everybody’s too busy. I’ve never met somebody who said you know, I actually or I sell them I guess occasionally I do but you know, I don’t actually have anything at all. going on, you know, I’m

pretty much open for

forever. Nothing to do. Most of us have got a lot going on, right? Oh, yeah.

But as you said before you can. You can have the three minute quickie or you can have the four hour. Wow session. I mean, the tour or the two minute quickie can still be well, but yeah, there’s still time.

You bet. Absolutely. And, and that that’s the cool thing. That’s the other thing I totally love about when we get kind of like, disconnect from what we think Hollywood or whatever has said about sex. It doesn’t have to be a certain way. We can have just like an experience where I just pleasure my husband, and he gets just receive or he pleasures me and I just get to receive. There’s no playbook to this thing. This is between you and your partner. You know, you get to decide how it looks and how it feels and there’s doesn’t have to be like a script right? You do this he does this you do this, you do this that have done that, isn’t it, you can let go of that and just play just have erotic play. That doesn’t necessarily include what we would have called sex. Because that just like makes it way, way more fun if it’s not always exactly the same, you know?

Oh, yeah.

I’m biting my tongue over here in the interest of time, just so we can just so we can get to you your seven year seven steps. But yeah, we have the nest, but it’s been a lot more than that. But that’s all I will say about that.

I believe that i’d love that about you.

Yes, you betcha.

Yeah. They do my mind. Yeah, creativity know that my mom and my sisters could very well be listening. Hi, guys. Yeah. So I would love to hear more about the the you said seven tips. I’m sorry, I’m I got distracted by sex. So it

Where can yes seven, seven barriers so yeah, and it’s using the acronym bedroom. Um, so yeah, there’s seven different places where we can actually find either ways to juice up our sex life or barriers to our sex life.

Oh, awesome. And can listeners get this? from you?

Jane Guyn: You bet. Yes. I am offering to our listeners and I would just love. Love it if everybody listening would take advantage of this offer. It’s the full book. It’s Amazon. Number one bestseller too busy to get busy. You could go on Amazon and buy it there would certainly be fine. Or if you’d like I’ll give it to you. As a download. By and Kim, you’re going to put the link in the show notes. Right?

Yeah, it will be in the show notes. And that is at KIM SUTTON comm forward slash p p 198. I think I have the number, right.

Jane Guyn: Yep, that’s right. But I’ll tell you what the it’s a text double number. So then you’re going to text, your name and your email 254144401122 I’ll repeat that. Text your name and your email two by 414440112. And if you’re not in the US or you don’t text, you can go to my website, Jane gwynn.com and it’s spelled g u y in Jane Gwynn comm and there you’ll find a link and you can download the book there. So you get the whole book, it’s got exercises, goes through the entire seven step process. It tells you all about the bedroom acronym, and you can you know, like do all the fun things there and They’re totally juice up your own sex life.

Jane, thank you so much. And again listeners. I just I don’t know why I couldn’t see it staring at me straight on the screen but it was. It is Doug KIM sutton.com forward slash p p 198. So you can get the text number there if you’re driving or on the elliptical or whenever. Jake, where else can listeners find you online if they’d like to connect?

I’m Dr. Jane Gwynn on Facebook. So Dr. Jane Gwynn on Facebook is the best place to find me or on Instagram. I’m Queen of happy endings.

Oh, I love that. I know I that’s how I introduce you. But that’s such a great title. Jane, thank you so much for joining us today. This has been an absolute pleasure. I feel sort of naughty saying that but the absolute pleasure having you here with us today. Do you have a parting piece of advice or Golden Nugget Get that you can offer the listeners.

Jane Guyn: Absolutely. So my parting piece of advice is, no matter how long you’ve been together or how great your sex life is, learn how to kiss even better than you know how today don’t make any assumptions that your partner likes the way your kissing has been going. Get into an exploratory mode with your partner and figure out the absolute best way to kiss him or her. And, you know, try out lots of different tips and ways to do that. Try licking and sucking the lips and just ask it you know, get curious, ask your partner what he or she likes. And you will find that your sex life and your erotic connection will go through the roof when you know how to kiss really, really well.