PP 230: Retreating to get Better with Avalaura

Website: https://www.avalaura.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HealerAvalaura
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AvalaurasHealingCenter/
Google+: https://plus.google.com/+AvalauraBeharry/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/avalaura2005/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/avalaura

KIM: Welcome back to another episode of Positive Productivity. I’m so happy that you are here to join us today.

And I’m thrilled to introduce you to today’s guest, Avalaura. Avalaura is the owner of Avalaura’s Healing Center where she just creates awesome transformations and does healing for her clients. And I just want her to actually jump right in. And share more about what she did? And how she got to where she is today? So, welcome Avalaura. I’m so happy to have you here.

AVALAURA: Thank you so much Kim. I’m happy to be here.

KIM: Would you mind sharing your journey with us and tell us how you got to where you are today?

AVALAURA: Sure. You know, I guess just a little bit about me, like you said I’m the owner of Avalaura’s Healing Center located in the Washington D.C. area. Although one of the beautiful things that’s happened is that, you know, probably 30-40% of my clients now are outside of this area, and even other countries now, so that’s been kind of awesome. And I guess just like most people, I started out with a dream, you know, with a vision for my life that didn’t quite go the way that I had planned. I went to Howard University here in Washington D.C. and I got my bachelor’s degree in psychology. I got my master’s degree in social work. And I really thought that I was gonna change the world. I was one of those very optimistic people, that always knew, that I wanted to help people. I didn’t always know how, but I knew that I wanted to help people. And I decided early on that counseling was one of the things that I was really gifted with, and that I wanted to do. And so that became my focus. And after I got my master’s degree, I felt like, you know, I was armed with all the tools. I was kind of ready. I was gonna heal the world and everybody was going to be so excited because I was excited, and that didn’t quite happen that way.

Exactly. And so, once I got into the social work field, I ended up, I was actually a program director at an outpatient mental health clinic. And I found myself not really making the difference that I thought that I was going to be able to make. And instead of, you know, really being able to help people heal, and help people transform, and help people to grow, and just overall just helping people to improve their lives. I found myself in this system where I was really just helping people to maintain their dysfunction. And that was not what I was all about. That’s not what I had signed up for. That’s not what I had gone to school for. That’s not, you know, the vision for myself. I really thought that I was going to be able to make a difference. And every day that I found myself not being able to do that and not making an impact. I really really got depressed, and sad, and feeling like what am I here for? What am I doing? And you know, I cannot believe that this is my life right now. Like, this is not what it’s about. And so, I just found myself every day, just a piece of me kind of just dying inside and just really kind of giving up. Feeling very hopeless. Feeling like I know that something needs to change, but I really didn’t know how to change. And I didn’t know — I really didn’t even know what to do. I just knew that I was unhappy.

And so, I guess, you know, finally what happened for me ,is kind of what happens for a lot of my clients. And I’m sure so many of you listening can relate that I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired.

KIM: I can relate

AVALAURA: You know, that’s literally just what happened. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. And I still didn’t know what to do, but I knew something had to happen. And so I ended up going on this Women’s Retreat. And I got back to what I call, soulful self-care. I got back to doing all the things that I teach, that are so important. Meditating, and praying, and just spending time in nature, and just having fun. You know, just you know talking to other women, and just letting loose, and just enjoying life again. And I kind of just — I really just had this epiphany and I had this real emotional breakdown. The more, I sort of, got in tune with myself and sort of got back in harmony with things. And I just found myself literally on my hands and knees crying out to God, you know, praying for help. You know,just really, just doing the ugly cry. Just letting it all go because I was just so unhappy and you know. And I just found myself saying God, you know, I don’t know what to do. I really don’t know what to do, but I know that I can’t live like this anymore. And even though I don’t know what to do, I know you know. So you gotta help me. Like I just, I can’t do this anymore. I cannot go back to my life. And you know, of course after that I felt better. You kind of let loose, you release. You feel good, but then I realized, like all day, you know, I got to go back to work on Monday. Like this cycle is going to continue all over again. So that was you know that was sort of my life.

And then what happened was actually that, once I got back to work on Monday, my boss calls me into his office. You know, says he wants to talk to me. I’m like: “Sure, no problem”. And you know, I sit down and he starts talking to me. He says: “Avalaura, I have to let you go”.

KIM: Oh my gosh.

AVALAURA: And I’m like: “Wait, what?” You have to do what?” He says: “I have to let you go.” And I was shocked. Your reaction? Oh, that was my reaction times ten. You know, I had never been fired from anything in my life. I was a classic perfectionist, overachiever. If I do something, I’m gonna do with 200%, you know. That’s just, you know, that’s how I was. And so, I was completely shocked that I had really just given my all, my happiness. My, you know, my peace of mind to everything to this job and he was firing me, but I quickly realized that that was ego and you know. And then I had this moment, where, you know, spirit kicked in and just said: “Avalaura, why are you upset?” You know: “What’s wrong? This is what you prayed for. So what are you going to do about it?” And that became my journey. Like, what am I gonna do about it? What am I going to do now? And –

KIM: When was that Avalaura?

AVALAURA: – This was actually 12 years ago last month.

KIM: Okay.

AVALAURA: 12 years ago. And so, what happened is I actually took six months. I took what I called my healing sabbatical. I took six months and I did the work. You know, I tell my clients all the time, I would never tell anybody to do anything that I would not do or have not already done. And so, I did the work. I took six months. Who am I? Why am I here. I did the coaching. I did the counseling. You know, all the training, the Reiki trainings that I teach and all these things now. I did all of that. And at the end of that six months, I opened up Avalaura’s Healing Center. And that became my journey, of helping people, who’re really like me. Who were really gifted. Who had ideas, and dreams, and visions. And wanted to change the world, but didn’t know how. And stuck in a situation that they didn’t necessarily know how to get out of. Or didn’t know how to change. And that really became my journey in my work. So, I’m living proof that, you take the time to do the work it really does work.

KIM: When we previously spoke, I told you that I was an interior architect. I had a dream of being an interior designer. I thought it was going to be glamorous and I was going to be designing fabulous spaces. And I’m not saying that I didn’t design fabulous spaces. But at the end of my career, before I got fired, I was designing schools. Where the most exciting part of my job was deciding the pattern that was gonna go on the floor tiles.

AVALAURA: Wow.

KIM: That’s not exciting.

AVALAURA: No. Not at all.

KIM: Like, okay, what pattern am I going to make out of primary colors? That is not what I — I went to the one of the top art schools in the country, but I didn’t my master’s. But that’s not what I spent all that money in school for. But looking back now, I don’t know what I thought would be so fulfilling out of being an interior designer. I certainly didn’t think I was going to change lives. I was totally in it for the money, which really wasn’t existing ,to be totally honest. But losing my job turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.

AVALAURA: Yeah.

KIM: And just like you, it was an ego thing, initially. I had actually been joking for a while: “Maybe ten years today, I’ll get fired”.

AVALAURA: Wow.

KIM: Cause I just wasn’t happy and then it happened. And I hyperventilated on my way home. It’s the one and only time that I’ve ever hyperventilated, but I wasn’t as much upset about losing the job, as I was upset that I was going to tell my husband at the time that I lost my job. And now that was the best thing that ever happened to me. And within a year after, that was at the end of 2008. It was a combination of fired and laid off, I’ll be totally honest. I should have been fired before I was, to be totally honest. I’m just going to be totally honest. Yeah, but I was also over-worked.

AVALAURA: Yeah

KIM: So, I was making mistakes, but there was a lot going on in my life then. But within a year afterwards I was introduced the law of attraction which I had never known before. And I hadn’t been introduced to the thought that a positive mindset. Like I — If anybody had said mindset to me at that point, I wouldn’t have even known what to think. I would have thought mind and then like game set match, like tennis. I wouldn’t have thought: “Okay, I can control my feelings and my happiness”.

AVALAURA: Yeah.

KIM: No, absolutely not . So, I do have a question though. Do you think it’s just part of the system that — you said it perfectly. And now I don’t remember exactly how you said it, but it’s helping people stay. It’s like allowing them to stay in their dark place.

AVALAURA: Yeah

KIM: I’ve gone through therapy myself and never really got anywhere. I just didn’t because it didn’t push me. It was more like, okay let’s see what medicine can give you, like, who can we, can we do with. As far as the psychiatrist goes, to help you medicate your way back, but it was treating the symptoms and not the causes of the problem.

AVALAURA: Yup

KIM: Is that what you found before you left that?

AVALAURA: So was interesting is I hear that from a lot of my clients. I have actually worked with people who have been in therapy for five years, ten years. I mean, you know, off and on and they say similar things. It might have been helpful in the beginning to talk about it. You feel good to be able to talk about it and release it, but then after that there’s no real change. There’s no real shift. And one of the things that I strive to do very early on, is once I realized, who am I? Why I’m here? I set out to be the best life coach, the best intuitive consultant, the best healer, I could possibly be. And one of the things that I — In doing that I had to do is to get good tools. Learn everything about the healing arts, everything about people. How we work? What makes us tick? Why we do the things that we do? What works? What doesn’t work? And so one of the things that I learned very early on, from my own personal experience, and then of course from working with my clients, is that I fully believe that therapy is an awesome thing. I really really do. But it’s the combination of that therapy or the counseling with the coaching that is the most successful. Along with the healing arts because some people definitely do need energy healing and spiritual healing and things like that, as well. So, when we talk about being holistic, we really have to be holistic in addressing the whole person. And so, if you’re only addressing one part of the person, it’s not that it’s not going to work. It’s just that there is going to be limitations. You’re only going to get so far. In the mainstream system, is really only set up, so not even to work to even create a shift, but like I said, just to help people to maintain. And so what I’ve found is just literally helping people to maintain their dysfunction. That’s what this system was for. It was not helping people to get better. It was a bandaid effect. So if you are in this current situation, what we’re gonna do, is just give you the tools to stay here. We don’t want you to get better. We don’t want you to get worse. We just want you to stay right where you are. –

AVALAURA: Before I lost my job — Sorry to interrupt you. Before I lost my job, I forgot to mention in this chat with you, but I’ve shared with listeners before. I had been running my own small business at that time. I was e commerce. I was totally not passionate about it. So, I was working full time and then I was basically working full time at night too. So, I was getting two to three hours of sleep a night. And I’d also stopped taking my thyroid medication because it was buried on my desk. So a combination of lack of sleep and no thyroid medication created chaos and a havoc. Let’s just put it that way.

AVALAURA: I can imagine

KIM: And I ended up being admitted to the mental hospital on January 2nd, 2008. And they did do blood work. They saw that my thyroid levels were so far off. Listeners, just to give you an idea. I don’t remember if it’s TSH or T4, but it should be between point one and point two, and mine was 168.

AVALAURA: Wow.

KIM: And the doctors basically said: “We’re surprised that you’re alive”. Like: “You should have organ failure.” And so, they saw that and they they told me that I needed to, you know, take my medication for that. But then they went so far as to put me on three different antidepressants. Forget the fact that I’m not sleepy. Hello. Like, getting two to three hours of sleep a night, consistently for years, that’s going to drive anybody insane.

AVALAURA: Right.

KIM: And then the same thing happened.

AVALAURA: Absolutely.

KIM: Just prior to me launching the Positive Productivity Podcast, I was chasing squirrels, and I totally dealing with Chronic Idea Disorder. And not getting any sleep because I didn’t know what my why was even in my business at that time, my new business. And I was sleeping two to three hours again, a night. And I went to actually, a therapist at my church, and it just was not effective. Trying to figure out what, I’m not knocking the brain, but essential oils. And I’m not saying any specifically, but what oil I should be Melling to help me get into a better mental space? Or what psychiatrist should refer you to to get some medication? But not even talking about the sleep and the self-care again. So yeah, helping me maintain that state of dysfunction. You’re getting me fired up. And that doesn’t happen a lot. I’m a positive person.

AVALAURA: Yeah and that

KIM: Thank you for doing what you do is what I have to say. Thank you for doing what you do.

AVALAURA: Thank you. You know it’s — One of the things is that when you know who you are and I mean you were just completely crystal clear. There’s nothing else that I could do. Nothing. I could not go in and get a job and go back to the life that I lived. I can’t do that.

There’s nothing else that I can do because just like you said being fired up. I’m fired up every day for my clients. This is, I mean, I live for my work.

So I hear stories like yours all the time. All the time. And, you know, just when I say: “Oh, I’ve heard it all. Nothing surprises me.” I hear another story that I’m like: “Oh, well you just surprised me.” I just heard something new. And, you know, and it saddens me a lot of times because of like, you know, so many people are suffering so unnecessarily. Just because they’re not getting the right help. Is not that you don’t want help. Is not that you’re aware that you need it. You know, yes, there are definitely people out there. And I work with many of them who need help. And they’re scared to reach out. You know, they just, they don’t want to ask for help. They feel like they should have to do it all on their own because that’s what they’ve been taught. But I meet a lot of people now, men and women, who, they recognize: “You know what, Avalaura, I’m not happy. My life is dysfunctional in some way shape or form. And I know that I need help, but I’m so blob down. I don’t even know where to go and I’ve tried therapy. And I’ve tried, you know, Reiki. I’ve tried. I’ve gone to the doctor and I’ve done all of these things. And nothing really seems to work. And so now, I’m feeling, like, there is no hope for me.” And that’s the saddest thing. And it’s not that there’s no hope. It’s just that, you’ve just gone to the wrong people. You tried the wrong approach.

You know, I liken it to — Actually when I was in college. So, when I was in college, I was actually introduced to yoga. So before, you know, yoga became trendy and all of the stuff. I was I was introduced to yoga back in the 90s. And so when I was in college, I was actually waking up, and this is a college student now waking up at six in the morning. You know, doing my yoga, doing my meditation and loving it. It was one of the things that centered me, grounded me. And I’m so sure that it was one of the reasons I graduated magna cum laude within all the craziness. And do really well in college. But what happened was, when I left college, I was you know, I was trying to find another yoga teacher. And I got into these yoga studios and I’m like: “What the heck is this? This ain’t yoga.” It was like all the spirituality was stripped out of it and all we’re doing is downward dogs. And I’m like: “This is not what yoga is supposed to be about.” And so what happened is, I just stopped doing yoga. So, instead of looking for a different teacher. Maybe trying a different type of yoga, or different practice for years. I just stopped because I wasn’t finding what I was looking for. And I think that’s what a lot of people do, is just, that you lose momentum. You give up because, you know, you need help, but you’re not finding it. And so, it just becomes this daunting task. And you know what, I’m just gonna give up. I can’t. I can’t do it because it’s really scary to feel like there’s no hope for me. So, I would rather just give up and stop looking.

KIM: So, was the women’s retreat, when you reawakened? Or was there something that happened between giving up yoga and the woman’s retreat?

AVALAURA: Oh, this was, yeah, a big wide gap in between them. Yeah, I actually did not get back into yoga, probably, until my late twenties. So there was definitely a gap there. I’ve had, you know, one of the things, — I’ve had many reawakenings in my life. And when you are a seeker, when you are a true,  you know, person that, you really want to be the best you can possibly be. You really do. You don’t just talk about it, but that really is your life path. You will find that you will have continuous moments of reawakening and they could be in the same month, the same year. They could be, you know, one year. You know, five years, but there’s so many points in my life where I’ve had that wakeup call and I’ve had a choice. And that’s the key, I’ve had that wake-up call, but then I had a choice to make. Which way am I gonna go? Am I gonna take the red pill or am I gonna take the blue pill? You know, am I going to stay in the status quo, and do what everybody tells me I’m supposed to do, and take the safe route? Or am I going to go in the deep-in, go into the unknown? Take their faith walk. And do ultimately what I’m called to do, but I have no idea what that path looks like, yet. I’ve had several moments in my life where I had that choice. And ultimately it was my job to decide, how do I want to live my life? What’s most important? And what choice am I going to make?

KIM: Okay, listeners, I have to confess. Avalaura said red pill or blue pill, and all of a sudden the recording just, what can we call it Avalaura? Just all of a sudden went bonkers, donkey-bonkers. I have no better way to say it. So we’re going to try our best to pick back up where we’re going. You mentioned, we have two choices, or you have two choices, red pill or blue pill?

AVALUARA: And it’s so funny that it happened in that moment because we had a choice. Are we gonna continue on even though this does seem to be working right now? And technology is now on our side. Or we just gonna make it work and just persevere through it? And obviously you’re hearing goes right now. So we decided to persevere through it, but you know, that’s really what I was talking about. Is just that in life we have those choices that, you know, so many different times and it’s up to us the choice that we make. In so many times in my life there was the red pill or the blue pill. And, you know, understanding that the blue pill, is just the safe route. Is the route that everybody else takes. It’s the status quo. Is what everybody tells you, you’re supposed to do. What you should do? What you should be happy with? What your life should look like? And then the red pill is really what your life is like. You know, the truth of who you are. And, you know, that faith walk, is the unknowing. It’s not the safe route. Its taking the risk, but it ultimately where your fulfillment, and your happiness, and everything lies. And so throughout my life I have chosen to take that bread pill and it hasn’t been easy. It hasn’t always been happy either, but it’s always been the best. The best route to take and it’s always in the end is what made me happiest. Made me fulfilled. And why I am where I am right now. Why I’m able to serve my clients and help them.

KIM: You know I find it interesting that so many of us struggle because of outside influences. Like, is it we feel bad about making ourselves happy and keeping ourselves happy because what are others gonna think? That we’re happy and they’re not. And so many times, like I’ve seen in, not necessarily in my family, but in other families, you know, somebody tries to break out of the mold. Of what the family has gone through for years and years and years and they’ve heard: “Oh, you think you’re better than this?” It’s not that people think that they’re better, but they want something better.

AVALAURA: Yeah. And I think, you know, I know for me personally my parent’s generation. My parents were first generation college. So, you know, my grandparents on my father’s side they, you know, literally had middle school educations. Raised eight children and somehow all of those children ended up going to college, but they were all first generation. They did not, you know, they didn’t know a different way. So they sort of broke the mold, but then I took in a step further in that: “Okay I’m gonna go to college. I’m gonna do all those things that you told me I’m supposed to do.” But realizing that those things didn’t make me happy. You know, I wasn’t happy with my bachelor’s degree, and then my master’s degree, and getting a job, and getting married, and getting the house. And, you know, all those things I wasn’t happy. And so I broke the mold. And decided that I’m gonna live in purpose. I’m gonna live in passion. I’m gonna become an entrepreneur. And my parents just don’t understand that. I mean to this day my mother says: “You have a masters degree”. You know: “Why aren’t you using your master’s degree?” And of course I am using it, but not in the traditional way that she initially thought that I would. And what I learned from them is that, it wasn’t so much that: “Why are you doing this? Why don’t you just use your degree? And, you know, how dare you try to be happy?” But it’s really more, for them, it’s fear. You know, it’s fear of how are you going to make a living doing that? How are you going to be successful? We don’t know that way. See, our way of working a job for 30 years, and collecting your pension, and all of this. Like, that’s the proven way or at least it used to be cause now we know that that’s not even safe. Like that’s not even possible anymore. Most jobs are — You can’t stay there for 30 years and get a pension anymore. But that’s how it used to be. And so now deciding to venture off into this new path. That the unknown is scary. And so what I found a lot of times is, yes, there’s definitely people who, you know, how dare you try to do what makes you happy. But a lot of times it’s fear because if you venture off into the unknown. And you take this route. And you become successful and happy. Then what does that say about me still taking the safe route and not deciding to do the same? Because I didn’t believe that it was possible.

KIM: Do you think that happiness is possible? Taking the safe route.

AVALAURA: I don’t think that there is any happiness in being average, or safe, or mediocre. That is just my personal experience. I think that you can be content. I think that you can have all of your needs met. I think that you can settle, in a sense of, you know, I’m happy my bills are paid. I, you know, I have my family. I’m doing enough. I don’t really want for anything, but there’s always gonna be a piece of you. There’s always going to be that part of you that wants a little bit more. That’s who we are. It’s human nature. We’re always going to want more. So, I think that you can be content. But I don’t think that you can be happy.

KIM: I agree because I think I would be pretty bored. And boredom and I did not get along.

AVALAURA: And some people are okay with being bored. They’re risk averse. You know, and so that’s why it really is important to do that work of knowing who you are because some people can be bored and be okey. I’m not one of those people. I’m much rather take a walk on the skinny branch and not know where I’m going to end up. And fear for my life than to be stuck.

KIM: I am not going to argue that at all. Avalaura, would you consider yourself a learning nerd? And I mean that in a good way.

AVALAURA: I’ve never heard that term before. I love it. You know, I don’t know if I would say a learning nerd. And only because I don’t seek knowledge for the sake of knowledge. You know, I think a lot of people now, I think we become intellectual hoarders. You know, we just want more, more, more, more, more. You know, so we consume. We read all the books. We, you know, read the blogs. We go on the retreats. We, you know, we consume these experiences and this information, but we don’t do anything with it. So, for me I love to learn, but even more than learning, I love to make an impact. I think it’s anything, like, I’m an impact nerd. Like if I learn something, I quickly want to know how can I use this in my life and how can I use this to help others.

KIM: I have never heard information hoarder. I’m gonna have to borrow that from you.

AVALAURA: Oh yeah. We, you know, we just consume information. I mean, if you think about it now. You know, what’s the last book that you’ve read? How many books do you read? How many — Okay. Well that’s great. But what did you do with the knowledge that you learned in the books? When is the last time you took action?

KIM: That is such a valid point. I have had clients who have literally spent multi six figures on courses and programs. It never progress anywhere because they weren’t taking action on it. And I actually went through two programs. One of which I didn’t ever implement, but I spent a few thousand dollars on it and never implemented. And the other one, I just wasn’t in the right place, but shiny object syndrome. I heard a lot of people saying: “Hey you should sign up for this because you’ll learn a lot.” Well great, but you need to be at the right place in life spiritually, emotionally, financially before you make that type of decision.

AVALAURA: Absolutely.

KIM: And I love what you said about, you know, what’s the last book that you read? And then what did you do with it? Because I found myself reading for the sake of reading. And lately it’s reading for the sake of improvement. And exactly what you said making an impact. I have to share. I started reading Worthy by Nancy Levin earlier this week, have you ever read that?

AVALAURA: I haven’t.

KIM: The subtitle is boost yourself self-worth to grow your network.

AVALAURA: Look, I could have written.

KIM: Blowing my mind. And listeners, you know, I mean even just in this interview alone or just in this chat alone. I’ve already been talking about how sleep is so important. However, a couple of nights ago, I picked it up for the first time. I’ve probably owned it for over a year. Like I don’t I don’t remember how I got it. That’s how long I’ve had it. And I started reading it at 10:00 at night which is usually when I’m trying to wind down. I was still up at 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning reading it because I could just not put it down and I’m only halfway through.

AVALAURA: That’s awesome.

KIM: It’s just completely blown my mind. Like she’s asking: “Do you have these tendencies?” And there’s exercises in there. And I’m going through the exercises. And it’s just like: “Wow.”

And then Unleash the Power Within or Awaken the Giant Within, I don’t which one is right in front of me, by Tony Robbins. That’s the other book that I’m reading right now. Its just, I was being lazy the other night and I didn’t want to get out of bed to get Tony. So I started reading Nancy instead, but it’s the same thing with that. I’m going through the exercises and I’m actually, I’m committed. Right now, I’m reading these two books. And I’m committed to finishing them and actually going through the exercises. I might not exercise physically, but let me tell you, I am exercising mentally with this two.

Okay, that’s a complete lie. I chase my children around, nonstop. To get away with whatever sharpies, or markers, or colored pencils they’ve got in because every single wall in my house is already decorated. But that’s the extent of my exercising right now.

AVALAURA: Every little bit counts.

KIM: Yes, every little bit counts. But, yeah, I love that because it’s great when somebody has a huge library. But what does it mean if they haven’t done anything with it.

AVALAURA: Absolutely. You know I tell everybody I am absolutely a fan of information. I do. I mean, I think we all, in this space of you know, self help in improving lives. I love information, but I’m a bigger fan of impact. And the impact is simply just taking everything and putting it into action. That’s what you’re remembered for. You know, it’s not how much you consume. Not how much you know, but how you have taken that and helped others. How you have taken that and somehow, you know, maybe consumable for other people to be able to grab it and learn from it as well.

KIM: I completely agree. This is gonna sound morbid and I totally, I know this is a Positive Productivity Podcast so I don’t want anybody to take this in a negative way. But I was laying in bed the other night. And actually the next day I really snap an episode about how I realized I had found peace, but I was laying there and it occurred to me that if God decided that that was my night. That I was done here on earth. That I would be okay with it because I know I’ve done what I can do. Actually the only thing I wouldn’t be okay with is I really want to take my kids to Disney, and I want my husband and I to take our honeymoon. Five years after we got married. But I have no regrets. And those are just things, but I truly believe I have a whole lot more that I can do. But I’m happy. I’m thrilled with what I’ve done especially in this last year, in this last two years. Just by being transparent, and authentic, and truly trying to make an impact.

How do you feel about where you are? And again I’m not trying to be morbid. And I’m gonna ask, like, I want listeners to think about this too but Avalaura, how do you feel?

AVALAURA: You know, what’s so interesting about that is that, I mean, you call it morbid but one of the things that I’ve learned is that really thinking about our own deaths is not morbid. But it’s actually a very grounding and humbling experience because the truth is we’re all gonna die. We don’t know anything else. We know at some point, we’re all gonna die. So, when you think about your own death, what it allows you to do is to put things into perspective. So, it’s really not being morbid at all but it’s really self-reflection. You know, who am I? Why am I here? What is it that I have come to do that nobody else can do? What is it that I have done? What is it that I still need to do? What is it that I still want to do? That’s a beautiful thing. So I love that.

And for me, I actually think about that often. Like what do I want to be remembered for? What’s the legacy that I wanna leave? What is the impact that I want to make? What is it that I can do, that if I don’t do, if i don’t do it, if Avalaura doesn’t do it? It’s not gonna ever show up in this world because I’m the only one that can do it?

KIM: That is such a powerful thought. Listeners, if you don’t walk away with anything besides this which I find very unlikely. I want you to give that same reflection back to yourself and to your own life. What is that one thing that only you can do? That’s huge.

AVALAURA: Absolutely. So I’m always – always looking to do more and not in the sense of just, you know, running in this rat-race world more, but who can I serve? How can I serve? What is it that I can do? So, I’m very happy with where I am because one of the things that I’ve made a point to do is every year, do a little something different in my business and in my life. And so, it’s given me a lot of different types of experiences. It’s allowed me to create and serve in different ways. So for instance this year I’ve always done speaking, but this year I was very intentional in doing more speaking. So, I probably had more speaking engagements this year than I’ve had, probably, throughout my career because I was very intentional in it. So, that was one thing that I added this year. So next year, you know, I’m really going to be looking to add something else. To do something a little bit more. So, I’m really — I’m happy with where I am. That’s not to saying that there’s not more that I want to do because there’s certainly is more that I want to do, but I’m very happy at the progress that I’ve made. I’m very happy of the lives that I’ve touched. And I just feel so blessed to be in a place where I love what I do. And I’m excited to keep going and keep creating. And just, you know, what else is there? You know, and knowing that there are no limitations, that’s very exciting to me.

KIM: That is so beautiful. Avalaura, I’m sorry to speak for you but I’m just going to touch back on something that you brought up earlier. In that, you mentioned that so many people feel like they’re all alone. And they don’t know who they go and talk to. Listeners, if you’re feeling like that, you can reach out to me and I would have to think you can reach out to Avalaura because you are absolutely not alone. I’m thinking of the expression, the best time to plant a tree was 50 years ago, but the next best time is today. So, –

AVALAURA: Yeah

KIM: – don’t wait until tomorrow to get the help that you need. To take your life to the next level. There are people out there all around you. And you never, never, never need to feel embarrassed to share what you’re going through. And if the people that you are talking to make you feel bad about it then you need to find somebody new. So on that note you can go over to thekimsutton.com/pp230. You’ll find my contact link there and you’ll find links to how you can find Avalaura. Which I’ll ask you just a moment Avalaura. But please reach out because I never ever ever want you to feel desperate, or alone, or anxiety ridden because that is not the way that life is supposed to be lived. On that note, where can listeners find you Avalaura?

AVALAURA: So, I am Google Liscious. I am all over the Internet, very easy to find. Literally you type in A-V-A-L and I will pop up. So you can — You look me up. You can go to my website at avalaura.com. You can find me on social media. I’m on Facebook. I’m on Twitter. I’m on LinkedIn. I think, I’m on pretty much everything. But, yeah, you can definitely find me online. I’m on YouTube, so just type in my name A-V-A-L-A-U-R-A and I will pop-up.

KIM: Awesome, thank you so much for being here with me today and with the listeners. Thank you for putting up a Positive Productivity and imperfections of technology.

AVALAURA: See but that’s what happens when you have that tagline, right. You’re gonna get tested and that’s what life is all about. You know, you say: “Oh this is not focus. This is my intention.” You are going to get tested. So today we were tested on truly there is no perfection.

KIM: Absolutely, I gotta be careful what I’m manifesting. I have to remember that. I’ve already manifested five kittens. Now I’ve manifested, you know, tech glitches. Hey listeners, if you want something just shoot me a message. If it doesn’t involve money. I haven’t mastered that yet. I’m working on that one.

AVALAURA: We can work on that. We can work — It’s always something and that’s what I tell people, you know. In this thing we call life when you’re working on healing and growing and transforming. Just when you think you’ve got one area down, another area will pop up and say: “Hey, mirror over here. I need some love. I need some help.” So it’s always something.

KIM: Absolutely and maybe I just need to finish reading Worthy by Nancy Levin. And by the end of that I’ll be a master manifester in the area of money. That would be fantastically awesome.

AVALAURA: There you go.

KIM: Avalaura, do you have a last piece of parting advice or a golden nugget that you can offer to listeners.

AVALAURA: Yeah, you know, I think you said it best. In that the best time to start is always now and I’m certainly going to relate that back to perfectionism because I find that so many people are so stuck in how things are supposed to look. And how they’re supposed to be. And you know, somebody else’s journey. And now, in the age of social media where we’re looking at Facebook, or we’re looking at Twitter and “Oh, wow. She was able to do this or he did this. And how come I couldn’t do it? Or I haven’t, you know, seen that yet. Or that hasn’t manifested in my life. You know, we’re comparing ourselves to so many other people and celebrities. And you know, this idea of what life is. Instead of embracing how your life truly is right now in this moment. And embracing your own personal power to be able to create the life that you want right now in this moment. And that power comes from the decisions that you make and the choices that you make. And so regardless of where you are right now in your life, you always have the power to change it right here in this moment, by the decisions that you make and then by the choices they make.

So I would encourage you wherever you are and we’ve talked about so many things during this time. You know, if you are anxious. If you are depressed. If you are in that place like, I was stuck in a job, in a relationship, in a career, even in a business or wherever. Somewhere where you just don’t want to be. You have the power right now to create that just by making a decision to change that.