PP 316: Listen to the Wisdom of Your Body with Julie Cusmariu

“The purest form of coaching is holding a safe space to champion the client, and to help them arrive at their own best answers.” Julie Cusmariu

Julie entered the coaching industry in 2007, and primarily coaches women leaders, guiding them to live and lead from a place of meaning and value.

Listen in as Kim and Julie chat about the coaching industry, connecting to our intuition, motherhood, self-care and more!

 

Highlights:

02:40 Kim And Julie’s Entrepreneurial Journey
04:45 Julie In Conversation
08:00 Coaching Certification And The Necessity (Or Lack Thereof) For It
10:55 Intuitive Coaching – What Is It?
19:35 If Momma Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy
25:35 Julie’s Biggest Learning Experiences
32:50 What Is Involved in Self-Care
42:35 Patreon Page
44:18 What is Your Body Telling You? 

 

Listen in as @thekimsutton and @JulieCusmariu chat about the #coaching industry, following our #intuition, #motherhood, #self-care and more! Listen at: https://www.thekimsutton.com/pp316 #positiveproductivity #podcast Click To Tweet

Connect with Julie

 

 

Julie Cusmariu is a Professional Certified Life Coach, PCC and Certified Mentor Coach, Coach Trainer and Facilitator with over 15 years experience in the field of coaching, healing and transformation. She graduated in 2007 from Coach for Life, an ICF-accredited Certified Life Coach Training and holds both the International Coach Federation credential of Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and Certified Mentor Coach (CMC). Julie graduated with distinction from the John Molson School of Business in Montreal and held executive positions in sales and marketing. Julie also studied at the Institute NHC in Montreal where she pursued studies in vibrational medicine, spiritual psychotherapy, energy healing, intuition and Therapeutic Touch.  Julie is an advanced Six Sensory™ Practitioner and Intuitive Consultant, trained by world-renowned teacher, best-selling author and vibrational healer Sonia Choquette.

Julie works with creatives, leaders, entrepreneurs, artists, parents and people interested in their own well-being and that of their family, neighbours and planet. Julie supports individuals in trusting their intuition to make better decisions, gain clarity and lead with meaning and purpose. Individuals climbing the internal mountains, the in-between, on their way to publishing their book, writing their song, making their film, giving their talk, hosting their podcast, creating change in their organization (while often also getting the kids’ to school with packed lunches). Individuals seeking more trust in themselves and the process of life. Individuals wanting to be reminded of their way forward, their strengths, their gifts, their desires. Julie is also the host and producer of Julie in Conversation, a successful podcast with a worldwide audience featuring bestselling authors, scientists, psychologists and leaders at the forefront of science, healing and transformation. Julie is a media consultant for international film, tv and podcast productions on networks such as CBC, Arte, TVO, TFO, Audible and more. 

 

Resources Mentioned

Blog Talk Radio
Renee Trudeau
The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal by Renee Trudeau
Nurturing the Soul of Your Family by Renee Trudeau
Dead Poets Society
Brendon Burchard
Danielle LaPorte

 

Inspirational Quotes:

12:09 “The purest form of coaching is holding a safe space to champion the client, and to help them arrive at their own best answers.” Julie Cusmariu

19:03 “Don’t do it because everybody’s telling you to do it, do it because your heart is telling you to do it.” -Kim Sutton

20:03 “If we forced ourselves to follow that alternative path because it’s what society expects of us, then we’re going to be miserable.” -Kim Sutton

32:05 “We owe it to ourselves to set up that self care system and support in our personal life and in our professional life.” -Kim Sutton

34:06 “If mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy.”  Julie Cusmariu

37:47 “It’s also differentiating between the will and the heart… I have to say no to something.” Julie Cusmariu

44:18 Listen to the wisdom of your body.” Julie Cusmariu

Episode Transcription

Kim Sutton: Welcome back to another episode of Positive Productivity. This is your host Kim Sutton, and I’m so happy that you are here to join us today. I’ve already started this episode with the bloopers so get ready for some fun, laughs and a great conversation with our guests, Julie Cusmariu. Julie is a Life Coach, Mentor Coach, Intuitive Consultant and podcast host. 

Welcome, Julie.

Julie Cusmariu: Thank you, Kim. So happy to be here with you.

Kim Sutton: Oh, I’m thrilled to have this conversation. Julie, I would love it if you would give an even better introduction for yourself. There’s no such thing as proper grammar on the show anymore to the listeners.

Julie Cusmariu: I know exactly what you mean. Well, I live in Montreal, I was born here and you pronounce my name really well. It’s a Romanian heritage. I’m not going to go into all the nitty gritty details, but I’m a life coach, and I’ve been coaching since 2007. So I’m a certified life coach, and I work with women primarily. But of course, I work with everyone, but that seems to be my nation. The people that gather and connect with me most are women who are leaders, who are wanting to connect more deeply to their intuition to live and lead from a place of depth, meaning and value to inspire their own life and the life of others who they inspire, whether it’s in their family, their work, whether it’s in community, society, however it shows up for them. So it’s really something that I love doing. I’m also a certified mentor coach. 

So I mentor other coaches. I’m certified to be a mentor to coaches who are looking for mentoring and needing to either get their credential or renew their credential as part of the International Coaching Federation. I’m also an intuitive consultant. And what that means is I also assist people in connecting to their own intuition. So that shows up in different ways. I coached people with their intuition, then I also did intuitive readings. So the coaching is more about pointing you to your own infinite resourcefulness and your own best answers. And that’s something that happens more frequently. And intuitive reading is something that still points you to your intuitive self and your own best answers. But I help with some more guidance, and unblocking some blind spots, and helping people really just uncover what’s in the ways that they can move forward ever so gently, but with enough transformation that they feel there’s something shifting and moving within them, and that shows up externally in their life.

Kim Sutton: Oh, I love all of that. So you said in 2007?

Julie Cusmariu: Yeah.

Kim Sutton: Now so much has changed in the last 11 years. Listeners, I know you could be listening well into the future. As a podcaster yourself, I know that must be so exciting. Because somebody could be listening to this, if I keep it up, which I hope to do 10 years from now, which just blows my mind. But 10 years ago, Facebook was still pretty fresh. So what does the beginning of your business look like? How did you build your client roster and get started considering it, I mean, my space was around, but–

Julie Cusmariu: Well, I wasn’t using WordPress at the time. I think I was just, I’m trying to remember. It was like a very dense, heavy, hard hitting set up that I needed a web developer to get that website going. So yeah, I don’t even know what you call it, but it had to be built.

Kim Sutton: Like a hard coded HTML. Yeah, I had one of those. I started my first business in 2005. It was an e-commerce shop. I started my business on eBay, and then realized that I wanted to do more and have my own site. So I wasn’t paying on eBay for some months, those fees were like double my rent so I knew I had to change that. But I remember looking back on how much money I spent on that first HTML site, but it was necessary. But looking back, I’m wondering how the business would have been different had Facebook been around like it is today. I mean, it was around, but not in 2005 I don’t think. Anyway, I think you understand what I mean.

Julie Cusmariu: I do. I’m feeling a little ancient right now. I was still spending money, even if I don’t have that heavy loaded website because I have WordPress. I’m using WordPress, but I have support to help me get that going. And of course, I do as much as I can. But back in that time too, because I started a podcast. Well, that wasn’t in that time, but maybe let’s fast forward two years later. So 2009, I started a podcast, which was not called the podcast at the time, because that word was not even, I mean, it probably was bouncing around. But it wasn’t like it hadn’t entered into the collective psyche of a podcast. And even still, I’m surprised when people don’t know what a podcast is. Because I just imagine that everybody knows what it is.

Kim Sutton: Oh, I know. Me too, I still have to explain it to my mom.

Julie Cusmariu: Yeah. So I have on my website like, check out my podcast. And somebody’s like, I don’t even know what a podcast is. I’m like, okay, so I’m always learning, and I can’t assume. But in 2007, I had a podcast which I called a Radio Show, because I was hosting it on Blog Talk Radio. Do you know Blog Talk Radio?

Kim Sutton: I do. I didn’t even realize that they were around then. Yeah, Positive Productivity. Listeners, I said in my pre chat, they’re all being quiet. But just like my kids, the second I start talking, they will all chime in. So sorry to interrupt you, Julie. But I actually have a cat climbing on the screen door that comes into my office from our backyard. And then yeah, crazy.

Julie Cusmariu: Yep. Like your dog barked at Blog Talk Radio.

Kim Sutton: But I didn’t know it was around back then. I mean, Did i have a blog? Yes, I did have a blog on that first site. But I didn’t even realize that Blog Talk Radio was around that.

Julie Cusmariu: So Blog Talk Radio, somehow, I was turned on to it. And it was great. I mean, the sound quality was not so great, but it was simple. I could phone in with my landline, and then my guests could meet me on their phone. Yeah, I called them with my phone, and we connected. And I had weekly guests. I was interviewing [inaudible]. Inspiring, I don’t remember the tagline. But I have a whole bunch of archives on my website, basically interviewing psychologists, scientists, bestselling authors in the fields of psychology, consciousness and transformation. And so that took place for two years. And it was nice because people were listening to Blog Talk Radio. So I developed this sort of listenership through the website. I was still using Facebook, but there was still a pulse happening on the web.

Kim Sutton: I’m in the community of other people using the platform also. I mean, a great way to get out there. So did that help build your, I mean, that’s sort of a stupid question. I know there’s no such thing as a stupid questions. But that would definitely help increase your online presence, even an age where a lot of businesses, I mean, I know Amazon was getting started, but a lot of business are really just realizing, even though they had seen a lot of companies going online for a few years, they were just really realizing, hello, I need to get out there too. I want to jump a little bit. There is no good segue here, sorry folks. But you mentioned ICF. I have seen since I began the second round of entrepreneurship in 2012, so many people coming into the circuit calling themselves coaches. I offer coaching, but I have yet to find a name for myself, because I do not consider myself a coach. How do you feel about this surge of people calling themselves coaches when they are not accredited or certified?

Julie Cusmariu: What my first introduction to life coaching was with a coach who still to this day, I don’t believe is a certified life coach. So I don’t think she got her certification. I think she has feelings about that, or she has a philosophy around it, but she was extremely powerful. She’s still to this day so inspiring to me. And I had the most profound experience with her being introduced to coaching. So I think it really, if you show up authentically and you feel a resonance with that person, and they seem to have good testimonials, and they are operating from some standard of ethics that you can detect and ask about, then I’m not opposed to it. For me, of course, it could open up a whole can of worms. People who don’t have a credential feel another way, I think also this person who I was working with had other credentials and degrees that qualified for what she was helping me with. But also, it was just the nature of who she was, which was by nature a coach, a support, a wise woman. Now, I decided to get certified because I really believe in legitimacy and credentialing. And it’s one for my ego, and two for just advancing my career and myself, and feeling like I’m constantly learning, improving and can offer the best that I possibly can offer to clients.

Kim Sutton: Absolutely. And I can see that. I’m Infusionsoft certified, and I know that those credentials have very much helped my business when it comes to helping clients, but also the visibility. Just giving that added, not that it didn’t teach me a lot, and not that it doesn’t constantly teach me a lot because there’s added training that I can receive because of my certification. But it gives clients peace of mind as well. I would love to jump into the intuitive coaching aspect. That is not something that I’ve really ever participated in. I don’t know the best way to say it’s, I just participated with work? Yeah, yes, please. What is it Julie.

Julie Cusmariu: Intuitive coaching? So what is it? Well, have you ever been coached before? Have you had a life coach?

Kim Sutton: I’ve had business coaches.

Julie Cusmariu: Okay. So there’s the pure form of coaching, which to me lines up nicely with intuition because intuition plays a big role in coaching and life coaching. So we’re not offering advice, and we’re not consulting, and we’re not directing people as coaches. The purest form of coaching is holding a safe space to champion the client, and to help them arrive at their own best answers.

Kim Sutton: Wow. And what do you see as often being blocks and keeping people from arriving at those answers? I know that that’s a very broad question.

Julie Cusmariu: No, it’s a good question. And it also relates to intuition because not every coach, I mean, as you know, obviously, I’ve decided to call [inaudible]. I’m a life coach, but intuition is also one of my focuses. Because, one, it’s something that I connect deeply as a skill, as a recognition of a gift. We all have it, but it’s just one that I feel good about, and that I’m continuously learning and honing. I believe that we all have it. And when we do all have it, scientifically, we all have this connection to what’s beyond our five senses to connect to our body, and I want to help people connect to that. So through coaching and through intuition, sometimes, people are attracted to work with me because I talk about intuition. Sometimes, it’s because they just want to find their own answers. However it is. It’s me supporting people and connecting to what they already know, which might not be on the surface, but we help sort of dig a little bit and bring it up. 

And so you asked what keeps people from knowing or for moving forward, or I don’t remember exactly those words that you use.  There’s lots that can come up, but one is just belief, the thoughts. The beautiful thing about coaching is you create the space for somebody to hear their own thoughts. I know saying that is like, well, how could that be so interesting? But it’s a clear space without judgment, without direction. And if you hear your own thoughts, I really believe that. Wow, that’s so interesting, because that belief dictates your actions, your choices in life. So that’s just one example.

Kim Sutton: Absolutely. And this is actually a struggle that I’ve been going through myself. Over the course of the last couple years, I have made a transition from chasing income. Let me try that all the time. I’ve made a transition from chasing income to really focusing on making an impact to the Positive Productivity brands, and that has been tough. Because following my intuition, I hope I’m using it in the right way.

Julie Cusmariu: Yes, you are.

Kim Sutton: And doing what my heart, just my soul is telling me to do despite how much my bank account screams at me, that’s been tough. But something just keeps on telling me to keep moving forward, keep moving forward, don’t give up on this game because you are doing great. I don’t have a big head focusing on that, but just keep going. And that has been a struggle though. I mean, I’ve even had business coaches who have told me to not focus on this side of the company and to get back to the income generating fund. I mean, there are bills to pay. So I do, it’s still a juggle. Until when it does take off, and it does pay all the bills. But there’s that struggle. How would you address that with clients? They know that once that they do have, maybe they’re in a job, but their gut is telling them that it’s not what they want to do. They want to do something else.

Julie Cusmariu: Well, first of all, I just want to acknowledge you for what you do, and who you are, and what you’ve created. Human beings created a home for all these wonderful creatures who have four legs. I’m assuming they have four legs, your cats and your dog. And just yeah, I think you’re creating here online and with your business, and as an individual doing so much. And also that beautiful income to impact. I mean, that’s a matter of heart, and that’s meaning, and that’s fulfillment, and that sustains and creates wellness within. I can also create doubt like, should I? And it can also make you unpopular amongst certain crowds. In other words, why is Kim doing that? I don’t know if she knows what she’s doing. I mean, that’s the courage, that’s the piece that requires that. Like, I’m taking a risk here, and I’m believing in myself, and I’m believing in that. It’s that gentle, persistent voice that doesn’t go away. That’s like leading you, but also pushing you from behind ever so gently. And it just sounds like that’s what you’re describing. 

I had a guest on my podcast yesterday, Renee Trudeau, she’s a life balance expert, and she has some great books. One of them maybe you are familiar with, it’s called The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Rebalance Your Life. It’s just sitting right in front of me, which is why I’m reading the whole title. And another one’s called the Nurturing the Soul of Your Family. And she talks all about self care and wonderful things really, the power of alignment, aligning with your values and what is true for you. And she said that often the yes, like, how do I know when we should continue a project? I mean, we’ve literally just talked about this yesterday. How do we know if we should leave this relationship? Or should I, or shouldn’t I? And she said, the yes, feels scary, but it also feels exciting.

Kim Sutton: Oh, my gosh, I want to meet her. And I thank you for bringing this up. And yesterday, actually, the universe planned for your recording to be on my podcast today for this reason. Yesterday, I actually had a chat with Jenny Nash and we were talking about the book that I’ve been wanting to write for two plus years. Well, before I started the podcast. And I’ve been advised to put that on hold because I didn’t know how it ended. And during this conversation, she’s said, but you can’t stop thinking about it. I was like, no, I absolutely cannot. She’s like, then you need to write it. You need to write it, and don’t write it just because you think it needs to be done. I mean, quality over quantity always. Don’t do it because everybody’s telling you to do it, do it because your heart is telling you to do it.

Julie Cusmariu: So what did you just hear me say? In the words that I shared, what message did you get there?

Kim Sutton: It all pieces together. I got so excited when you were talking that both conversations piece together, and just following our soul, and our gut, and moving forward, and allowing ourselves to be and do what our heart and soul are telling us to do.

Julie Cusmariu: That’s my job, really. That’s the 24/7 job.

Kim Sutton: Oh, it is. When you were talking about Renee, right? I’m so bad.

Julie Cusmariu: Yeah, Renee Trudeau.

Kim Sutton: Yeah. And you were talking about family and the soul of the family. I was thinking, you know if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. Yeah. I hate the word AIN’T. I just gotta put that out there. But it’s so true. And if we forced ourselves to follow that alternative path because it’s what society expects of us, then we’re going to be miserable. And again, if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. I know that when I’m not happy, my house struggles. But thankfully, that doesn’t happen very often.

Julie Cusmariu: And look at the power that you have, like you can actually handle a household with that many people inside of it. You’d have this ability to manage.

Kim Sutton: Yes, exactly. That’s it. In the pillars of Positive Productivity, oh, my gosh, I’m sorry, I took the light away from you. The pillars are self care systems and support. When you’re talking about self care, I get inspired. And then you just talked about managing. I do have support even within my kids, because my oldest two are 12 and 15 so they want things, they want money to buy things. And in return, I get support in the household. We have a clean kitchen and laundry.

Julie Cusmariu: That’s a lot.

Kim Sutton: Oh, yes, very much a lot. Again, no segue here, I apologize. What were you doing before you got into coaching?

Julie Cusmariu: I’m feeling unfulfilled, and looking for that thing that I wanted to do that I didn’t know what it was. That’s very ambiguous, but I was studying and I had taken this route of, I’m always interested in well being, health and feeling good, and helping people feel good. But I wasn’t sure what that would look like at university. So I did like health sciences, and then I studied, I was applying to get into athletic therapy. And for whatever reason, I decided to switch to some outside influences to go into business. So I’d have a business degree,and my favorite courses were the elective courses which were like identity politics, women, and religion. Everything that was not related to business. And after then, I had some jobs, I went traveling, and I realized that I could give myself the permission to pursue a course in something that piqued my interest like energy medicine. I don’t have to like shelve the astrology books, or vibrational medicine books. I can actually take them out and go find a tribe, or crowd, or school where they were teaching and talking about that. And so I did, and that led me towards awakening my sense of intuition and connecting to it. And then I went to study in the states with a teacher named Sonia Choquette. She’s a best selling author, and she’s very prolific and wonderful. And through her, I met my first coach. And through the coach, now I’m giving a whole trajectory. But it all serendipitous events, but I knew there was something more for me, and I had to find it. And so I set out to do that.

Kim Sutton: I love all of the above, all of it. I’ve actually been chatting quite a bit with my 15 year old lately, because I’ll ask him, what are you thinking about when you’re done with high school? And he’s a little bit wishy washy, he will bring up career paths that could potentially make a lot of money, but I’ve never seen him express any interest in those besides the money. And then he’ll start talking about something that he’s really passionate about, but will be a lot tougher to do. He wants to be a major league baseball umpire.

Julie Cusmariu: Wow.

Kim Sutton: Yeah. So he’s been umpiring in our town’s local Junior baseball league for the last four years. He gets paid to do it. He’s so excited. And I’ve told them, I want to see you do what you want to do, that’s gonna make you happy, that you’re not dreading, sitting at your desk in 30 years.

Julie Cusmariu: Beautiful.

Kim Sutton: And he’s somewhat resistant because he’s seen firsthand financial struggles in our house so he doesn’t want to be there himself. But there’s even things to be totally honest that I could have prevented. I mean, as business owners, sometimes we get caught in a cycle of buying, buying, buying, buying, buying, thinking that it’s going to take our business forward. Or I’ve had clients who have spent hundreds of thousands on training that they never implemented. My mistake is spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on inventory for my first business.

Julie Cusmariu: Wow.

Kim Sutton: Listeners don’t do that. I don’t even want to say UNLESS. Yeah, but that could have all been prevented, maybe, I don’t know. But even looking at it, so I showed my boys, or I watched with my boards with my boys a few weeks ago, Dead Poets Society, which was such a fabulous movie, and it’s the same type of conversation. I forget the character’s names, but there’s the one who wants to act, but his dad has these expectations, and we all have to be careful. Listeners, take the electives. Do the things that your heart is telling you to do, not just shiny, shiny object syndrome hitting your inbox that it’s what you need, do what you want. What have been some of the biggest learning experiences that you’ve had over the course of the last 11 years?

Julie Cusmariu: In one word, motherhood.

Kim Sutton: I could check in that, yeah.

Julie Cusmariu: I mean, there’s been lots of learning experiences, but for sure, motherhood obviously was my first response. It’s a big one. I have two boys, six and four. And yeah, it’s big, it’s humbling, it’s beautiful, it’s wide, vast and unknown. And it’s like surrender, I need to surrender and let go, and meet myself, and meet them, and learn. I’ve become a child developmental expert, who knew that that would happen.

Kim Sutton: Still working on that.

Julie Cusmariu: I’m still working on it too. But I mean, I created a podcast through the lens of motherhood. I had done two series before becoming a mother that were related to my personal journey. One was through getting married, and the other one was through being pregnant and leading up to my first birth. But then I took six years off, and I came back to the show now called the podcast, and it’s called Motherhood: let’s create a village. And so I have guests every week and we talk about motherhood, supporting and creating this village. Because as you know, probably more than those that it takes a village, and it’s a beautiful learning experience. So yeah, that would be my answer.

Kim Sutton: Hey, love that. Listeners, if you haven’t heard it before, and I do this to my husband all the time, it’s not just on the show. I’ll share the same story more than once, and I’ll ask him if he heard this before. He’s like, yeah, a few times. But he actually went through this with me. My littles who are a four year old and three year old twins share a bedroom right across the hall from ours. And we flipped their doorknob around because they kept on pulling the child safety lock off.

Julie Cusmariu: Hold on a sec, you have two sets of twins?

Kim Sutton: Oh, no. I have a four year old.

Julie Cusmariu: A four year old and then three twins, okay.

Kim Sutton: Oh, my gosh. I need to interrupt my story. I’m so bad at this. I just saw an Instagram last week a lady who had quadruplets who are two and she just had twins.

Julie Cusmariu: Oh, my god.

Kim Sutton: And I told my husband about it and he just put his hands over his head. He’s like, heaven help her. Anyway, we turned her around so that we can lock the door from the hallway, but those three have learned that they can lock us into the bedroom now. So we have a bedtime routine in the house every night, but on the nights that my boys are here because they’re from my first marriage. They will go in and we’ll give hugs and kisses, and we had to put my 12 year old out the window once so that he could run around the house and let us all out of the bedroom because one of those monkeys had blocked the door. I just thought it was hilarious. Have you found that you need to be more relaxed in life or in business as a result of becoming a mother?

Julie Cusmariu: Yes. Yeah.

Kim Sutton: I tried to plan on everything, and then three more kids. And I’ve learned that the days I have planned out the most are the days when one of the kids gets sick. I don’t know if I’m manifesting that. Yesterday was one of those days. I had four podcasts on the calendar, and all of a sudden, a sick three year old, that was fun.

Julie Cusmariu: I had that too. Last night I had a podcast, and podcasts are live and he woke up. We were up from 3:00 in the morning. It’s like, yeah. So I wanted to say something that I forgot. But yeah, sorry. I wanted to say like there’s not much room for rigidity in parenthood as my experience.

Kim Sutton: I have learned that too. I need to give myself a lot of grace. And one of the biggest, a lot of these revelations for me all came at the same time. And in 2016, was when I made the shift from chasing income to wanting to really focus on an impact. But it came from my own struggle where I had been sleeping for two to three hours a night for a year and a half to two years. And I had gotten so anxious and depressed that I was ready, despite how much I’m madly in love with my children and my husband that I was ready to just end it all. And I realize that I cannot go on like this, and that’s where the support comes in. I shared what I was feeling with a friend and she introduced me, actually, to Danielle LaPorte. And then along the journey, I was introduced to Brendon Burchard. And between Danielle LaPorte saying in the desire map, she talks about giving up on the solid deadlines, that she says it’s so much more eloquently, but allowing yourself the freedom to let things happen when they happen, instead of forcing them to happen when they’re not meant to happen. And then Brendon Burchard, just reinforcing over and over again how we need to sleep. Everything just turned around and it was amazing.

Julie Cusmariu: Good for you for getting the support, being open to it and turning it around.

Kim Sutton: Thank you. That’s actually where the Positive Productivity Podcast came from. I don’t want anybody to feel like that ever. And I know that’s really impossible. I think entrepreneurs will feel anxious, stressed and time crunched. But we owe it to ourselves to set up self care systems and support in our personal life and in our professional life to manage it as best as we possibly can. So with that said, what do you have set up in your business so that you can maintain sanity? Or some [inaudible] if maybe not complete?

Julie Cusmariu: Well, just to piggyback on what you were saying about self care, and then I, for sure, will try to answer that as best as I could. But just also because I’m so like just fresh off this podcast, and we’re talking about self care. And I had it yesterday, and it was like a deep dive into self care. And she just wrote something in her book, it’s a few lines, can I read it?

Kim Sutton: Please, I love that.

Julie Cusmariu: She says, what do you think about it when you think of self care divisions of massages, or pedicures and facials. Physical self care is a big part of the overall picture. But total self care also includes eliminating self criticism, not overscheduling, releasing the need to be perfect, saying NO, refusing to do things out of guilt and giving yourself much needed rest and downtime to refuel

Kim Sutton: Wow. Each one of those has been toughest for you?

Julie Cusmariu: All of them. From eliminating self criticism, I could do a lot of things like self criticism. I’m not what I was, or I don’t look like I did before I had kids, can you just be kindler?

Kim Sutton: Kindler?

Julie Cusmariu: Think gentle and kinder, genkindler. Can I be kinder to myself about that? I find I really need time and space. So when I get time and space, I’ve been getting better at just standing in the conviction of this time and space. Well, like you said, if mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy. So if I can give to myself, even though it’s a no to my kids at that moment, then I can come back and give them a much bigger, more emphatic yes. So it’s a work in progress. I mean, I’m sure you find that too.

Kim Sutton: It’s a work in progress, yeah. And saying no has been my hardest. I can’t say that, necessarily, this self criticism, and I’d love to know what you think about this. I don’t doubt that I can do what I set out to do. I have no doubt that I can do what I set out to do. But when I forget to give myself grace and often get really frustrated, I remember that over the course of the last five years, I have added three more kids to my family, and I’ve had to do the best that I can. And deal is probably the wrong word. But deal with sick days, doctor’s appointments and maternity, I mean, when I was pregnant with the twins, my belly was so big that it was uncomfortable to sit and work. I mean, it was uncomfortable to do anything, right? But other people may be further along than I am, but they also haven’t experienced the same life situations as I have in the last five years. And with that said, giving ourselves grace is so crucially important, we can’t be getting down on ourselves when we don’t hit all of our timelines, and that’s really why I’ve stopped setting concrete once.

Julie Cusmariu: Well, I think it’s probably like a blessing and a curse. Like, this is your strength because you’re so capable, and you’re so productive, and you’re so able to do so much and create so much, like you’re a trailblazer. And yet, it’s also knowing there are limits, and how can you bring softness to it? And that’s probably your journey. We all have our place, where’s the soft landing? What can we do and feel good about it? And the process while learning I think is a work in progress.

Kim Sutton: Oh, my gosh, yeah, it is definitely a work in progress. I’ve also had to remind myself that I cannot, and listeners, you can go back and listen to a few previous episodes where I talk about this. I cannot be pushing myself to stay up late all night. I mean, I try to get up early and work. But my littles, because they’re so young, still like to get up early. So what I tend to do is work late because that’s when my clients go offline. So there are days that I am up until 1:00 or 2:00 working, and then they get really excited, and I want to keep on pushing and pushing. But because I’ve been down that rabbit hole a few times already, there is no way that I can keep on doing that and find myself in that place of anxiety and depression again.

Julie Cusmariu: I mean, for me, I can totally relate. I can’t get to 1:00 or 2:00 o’clock, but getting to 12:00 is like, okay, it’s enough. Now, Julie, my body will tell me, it’s enough. And I had to cancel the podcast that was scheduled for next week because I’ve been doing them every weekend. For me, it’s just a lot of work, and I love it. I could just do it like Energizer Bunny. But it’s also differentiating between the will and the heart and like, it’s tough to discern. Like for me, my body just tells me when it’s been enough, and I’ll push despite listening. Like, okay, Julie, maybe you’re doing it a little bit much, don’t you think you need to just take a break, or not schedule that, or not say yes to that arrangement? So I think we get these messages. I don’t know if your body speaks to you that way. Or it told you in other ways that you’re overdoing it. Just for me, it’s my overall sense of like, I’m just feeling irritable, and I don’t want to talk to anybody, or whatever it is. Like, I know that I need the space and time, so I have to say no to something.

Kim Sutton: Oh, my gosh, yeah, I will find that the two things I forget to do to take care of myself are the simple acts of using the restroom and eating. My team and my husband have both realized that when I’m not very chatty, which listeners, if this is not your first episode, you know that I can get very chatty. But if I am not chatty, then I am typically hungry. So it’s just like a Snickers commercial. My husband will ask me, what did you eat last? And usually, I’ll just look back at him with a blank stare. And he’ll ask me what I want to eat, and he’ll go make something. Or the other thing that he’ll do is he will turn on the bathtub and leave the water running until I go take a bath. Not because I stink, but because he realizes that I just need to get away from my computer and stop working. And at those times, it somewhat annoys me. I realized that he is watching out for my good. I just had a run in the last month with my health where I wasn’t taking care of my thyroid and I was actually hospitalized with symptoms of a heart attack. I realized that I need to put a big priority on not only scheduling doctor’s appointments for myself, but going. Because there have been times when I have cancelled because I wanted to please my clients and get their projects done right. But in the end, I ended up sacrificing my own health. And if I keep on doing that, I won’t be around for my clients, or for my family, or for myself for that matter. And that wouldn’t be serving anybody.

Julie Cusmariu: I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself because we want to listen to you.

Kim Sutton: Julie, I just want to thank you for such an amazing conversation today, making and giving me so much to think about. 

Julie Cusmariu: Thank you.

Kim Sutton: Where can listeners find you online and get to know more about you, listen to your podcast and get in touch?

Julie Cusmariu: So julieinconversation.com, and that’s the direct page to my podcast. And there’s archives and shows, downloaded live streams are also there, Wednesdays at 2:00 PM Eastern, 11:00 AM Pacific, and 1:00 PM Central. I’m most excited about that. I’m always excited about working with my one on one clients. I work with clients all over the world through Skype, through Zoom, through phone. The podcast is really a sweet spot for me. I mean, you’re a podcaster, you could relate, right? I love it. So the podcast is called Julie in Conversation inspiring individual and global change. And I have each week different guest experts who are either authors or people who are impacting the world in a positive way that we can all benefit from. So nothing in the world of positive psychology, or science, or healing, and it’s just been wonderful. So it’s been wonderful for me. And also getting some feedback from those women who are listening to the show, and getting just nuggets of wisdom about self care, or about rest as medicine, or child development. So it runs the gamut, and that’s the focus right now. And I’m also building an online village through a Patreon page that I’ve just built. Do you know about Patreon, Kim?

Kim Sutton: I’ve heard of Patreon, but I’m really not that familiar. Can you share a little bit about it?

Julie Cusmariu: Sure. So it’s patreon.com. It’s, I guess you can call it a crowdfunding resource and site. My specific page is patreon.com/julieinconversation. And basically, it’s a way to support a podcast so that you build revenue into it. So they develop Patreons, and so Patreon would pay on a monthly basis. They could pay $1, they could be $3, it could be 5, they can be 15, you build the tier system. And then with each tier, you offer a reward. So what I’ve been doing with it is building my practice of coaching into the reward. So if you join, let’s say at $5, there’s a certain reward. I think the reward is you join my facebook group live, and then we have Facebook group, and then we have Facebook Lives, and I answer specific questions. And then at another level, you join my coaching group, and we meet once a month online through Zoom, and there’s different levels with rewards. So it feeds the podcast and helps it become sustainable, and insurance longevity. And it also creates a deepening of this village that I’m creating through the podcast and through the conversation. So I could let you know how that goes. But yeah, I’m excited about it.

Kim Sutton: Oh, wow, that definitely sounds so exciting. And thank you for the insight that you gave, I really had no idea what it was. I didn’t know if it was crowdfunding or what, so thanks for sharing all the details on Patreon. And thank you again, so much for being here.

Julie Cusmariu: Thank you for inviting me, and allowing me to speak, share, get to know you and your wonderful journey.

Kim Sutton: Oh, you’re so welcome. It was absolutely my pleasure. Julie, do you have a last piece of parting advice or a golden nugget that you can offer to listeners?

Julie Cusmariu: Listen to the wisdom of your body. And if you don’t know what that means, even to just bring awareness when you wake up in the morning before your feet hit the floor, just do a body scan like, okay, how am I feeling here? What’s happening? Where’s your attention being drawn even just to bring your awareness to your body because it speaks to us always, and it’s wise, and it knows, and it takes care of you. And it’s your ally and it’s your navigational system. It’s what I do, learn and need all the time as well. So yeah, I’d like to just leave that with the listeners. Thank you for listening.