PP 336: Brittany Hoopes, Podcaster and Qualitative Researcher from Soultiply

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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAfos8rU8QJu_nEPdAzxZPA

Kim Sutton: Welcome back to another episode of Positive Productivity. This is your host Kim Sutton, and I’m so happy that you are here to join us today. I’m also thrilled to introduce our guest today, Brittany Hoopes. Brittany is a podcaster and qualitative researcher from Soultiply. I got that right. Oh, my gosh.

Brittany Hoopes: Yes, like multiply your soul.

Kim Sutton: Positive Productivity Podcast was twisting up my mouth earlier today. So Soultiply. Well, welcome Brittany. I’m so happy to have you here.

Brittany Hoopes: Oh, thank you, Kim. I appreciate you bringing me on.

Kim Sutton: Oh, you’re so welcome. I would love it if you would give a glimpse of your journey to the listeners, and let them know how you wound up where you are today. Yeah, absolutely.

Brittany Hoopes: My journey has kind of been around about one, that’s for sure. A lot of people usually are working the 9:00 to 5:00, and then maybe leave it to pursue some creative career, or something like that. Mine is actually quite the opposite. All growing up, I wanted to be an actress. I mean, ever since I was three years old, I would put on these little plays, dancing on the fireplace mantels with my parents and siblings, and I did theater growing up, I did some indie film and off Broadway sort of theater during school. I went to NYU and studied at Tisch School of the Arts for acting, and even did a little bit of professional acting after school. But I just quickly kind of realized that I tied so much of my identity and my skill to this one reference for myself that here, I, Brittany equaled actress. And I never really step back and ask myself, is that truly what I want to do? Is that truly what defines me? I felt I reached this point where I recognized that I was more than that, and that I had other passions that I wanted to pursue, and that it didn’t encompass all who I was even though that’s who I kind of grown up to be. And so a few years after doing it professionally, I recognized that it was no longer my passion. 

And I heard for a few years, definitely post college years were rough. I tried just about everything. I worked in event planning, I worked in talent management and casting, and just a variety, I worked for a catering company in a restaurant development firm. I just tried just about everything. And eventually, I found myself using some of my skills in recruiting and casting, and leveraging that for a market research company and found the world of research, specifically qualitative research, which I don’t know if you’re familiar, Kim. Qualitative is more the stories and the interview side of research as opposed to quantitative, which might be a study. You might have a hundred completes for an online survey or something like that. That’s the quantitative side. The qualitative side is the one on one interviews, or maybe doing a focus group or whatnot–

Kim Sutton: Planning, that sounds like the fun side of research.

Brittany Hoopes: Yeah. Maybe I’m biased, but I definitely think it’s the fun side of research. Especially you and I as podcasters, we’re practically doing the qualitative side through our shows.

Kim Sutton: Yeah, absolutely. I’m not saying that I don’t like the quantitative side, but oh, yeah. Yeah.

Brittany Hoopes: Well, I love qualitative research, and I started doing it as more of a market research sense. Speaking to people about brands or products they like, or innovation, things like that. I recognized, well, altering my acting days, I guess it was about acting at the time. But really, it was about pursuing a dream, and it was about having this goal in mind and working towards it. And that was something that just had always fired me up. I always loved to have something to look forward to, to work towards some sort of milestone, a sense of accomplishment. And I was really intrigued by that idea about how our identities get tied up in our goals, and why we pursue goals, things of that nature. I thought, well, now that I have this background in qualitative research, I love qualitative research, let’s go study goal setting. Let’s see how we get around those mental obstacles. Let’s see what happens when our dreams change. And I kind of sought to figure out some of those answers by interviewing driven primarily millennial women who were kind of going through the same things.

Kim Sutton: I have to ask, do you see millennial women, let me backup a second. I didn’t really see what my true goals were until I was 35. Because up until then, I’d been chasing income and impact, and it was all about chasing the next dollar. And I was sacrificing a lot of time with my family in order to do that. But a lot of millennials are still young, not necessarily married. I mean, although a fair share are, but maybe just starting their family. So how are you seeing that?

Brittany Hoopes: I think what’s interesting, and I mean, I can’t speak so broadly, that’s the one thing I do have to say with qualitative research, it is one on one interview. So with quantitative, you can get that statistical significance. With qualitative, you can’t. But from the conversations that I’ve been having, I think there’s kind of an interesting way that millennials, overall, that sense of passion, especially when it comes to millennials that are pursuing creative projects and creative goals, don’t have a set path to success. That deep seated desire to be pursuing something that kind of lights your heart on fire, I feel like our generation or the millennial generation recognizes and values that a lot more than chasing the dollar per se, is you kind of looking at it overall. At least the women that I’m speaking to, they recognize, many of them recognize that, yes, I would love to be able to make money doing the things that I’d love to do purely so that I could just support myself doing the things that I love to do. Not necessarily for, oh, what can it buy me or whatnot. But it’s more on, I want to have those hours in the day, and I also need to pay my bills, this sort of thought process. And then if I can spend those hours in the day doing the things that I love to do, that’s a life well fulfilled. 

And I think it’s from the conversations that I do have with other people who have been perhaps pursuing money more strongly, or had other kinds of priorities that they were more aligned with, especially with their career goals that weren’t that way. I feel like the women that I speak to are driven in pursuing those creative goals. I wouldn’t say they’re a few steps ahead, but at least that’s what they’re valuing right now. Which I think might be a little unprecedented compared to other generations.

Kim Sutton: Oh, I absolutely love it. I don’t know what generation my older children would be part of. I don’t know what the generation has been named yet, maybe you can tell me. I have a 12 year old and a 15 year old.

Brittany Hoopes: Oh, gosh, you know what? That’s so funny. I mean, I do research just with millennials, but that came up in another study that I did a couple weeks ago. I can’t remember what they’re calling them now, I’ll have to look that up. That’s gonna bother me because it came up and I thought, oh, okay, some people are calling them the iGeneration, which I think is funny, like an iPhone sort of thing. That’s kind of the colloquial term for it. But there actually is, I forget if it’s Nielsen or some other reporting agency and market research came out with, here are the ages for millennials specifically. Because as there’s a new generation coming up, you have to define that, I’m just happy attention will be on the millennials anymore. Millennials get such a bad rap. And now, it’s time for a new generation. I’m excited for that.

Kim Sutton: They do and it’s not necessarily fair. Because in my opinion, exactly what you were just talking about, the Millennials are setting even a bigger, they have even a bigger influence on my 12 and 15 year old than I do, or my generation does. What generation am I? X, 79? You know how old I am now. I was right on the cusp. But for my boys, they see their dad in an office everyday in a cubicle. I mean, they don’t see him there, but they know that’s where he is, and we’re not married anymore. And then they see my husband and I working at home on our own stuff, and I see them struggling because they’re starting to wrack their brains now on what they want to do when they’re older. Yeah, do I want to do something that’s gonna make me a lot of money? Because, well, that’s just how they think. But I’m constantly saying, well, is that really what you want to be doing? Can you see yourself doing that for the next 30 years? What is your goal? 

So one of them actually wants to be a professional soccer player, and the other one wants to be a major league baseball player. Oh, which I love because having gone through college, not the same as you pursuing acting, but very similar. I went to college to be an interior designer because I wanted to head up a large architectural firm in New York City someday and own a loft apartment, and get one of those big lofts like in Ghost in Demi Moore and do that. But then as I got older, I realized that really isn’t for me. So obviously, I’m no longer in New York City. I’m in farm country, Ohio. I can find lofts, but that’s just not the ideal for me anymore. I know, for some people. What do you see as being major turning points for, I don’t necessarily want to say millennials because I think they’re realizing at a reasonable age what course to follow. But what do you see as turning points when people do realize that they don’t necessarily want to be, their goal isn’t having more, more, more, more more money anymore, and then it really is more heart centered and passion centered.

Brittany Hoopes: I think it’s interesting because of course, everyone has their own path. I’m realizing more and more through the conversations that I have that a lot of it has to kind of just be predicated on personality and priorities. And I say personality because I think there’s kind of a spectrum that we all find ourselves of how much dissatisfaction we can tolerate. And what I mean by that, Kim, is some of us, which I would include myself away on this end of the spectrum. My goal in life is to spend as many hours of my life doing what I love to do, that’s really so vital and important to me. And if it pays a lot of money, that’s great. If it pays pennies, as long as I can get by, as long as I have cable, because what I’m actually doing, 8, 10, 12 hours a day is of utmost importance to me. It’s funny because I was eating dinner the other night with a friend, and I have a friend who is very much on the other side of the spectrum. For him, he much rather work at a job that doesn’t necessarily make him happy. I mean, he can tolerate it, but it tolerate, which just a word that almost makes me cringe. I couldn’t tolerate anything.

Kim Sutton: It makes me cringe too.

Brittany Hoopes: We’re not guaranteed any time on earth to tolerate any kind of feel, to an extent, you know what I mean? To be unhappy for years, upon years, upon years, that seems like a risky proposition to me, just given that we are not guaranteed any time on Earth. But for him, he much rather tolerates for 10, 20 years so that he can amass a large amount of money, so that then he can have that release and live the life that he wants after having accumulated so much money to do. It’s interesting to me, because to assume that everyone is just one way, I mean, just like with anything, you can’t really do that. I think it does have a lot to depend on where you are on that spectrum, how much you want to tolerate the vision that you do have for your life. And I think a lot of people, when we see that shift, they think that they’re one way, they think that they can tolerate and then they begin to recognize that, no, they can’t. 

Actually, a guess that I just had on my show, her husband were doing the same exact thing. They thought that they’re going to work for 10 years, they’re going to mass a bunch of money, and then they were going to retire early. But then they begin realizing, wow, 10 years is a long time to be doing that. Do we want 10 years in the prime of our late 20’s, early 30’s to be miserable, which could lead to illness, which could lead to stress on their relationship, which could lead to so many other unfavorable things in that 10 years time just for this payoff that may or may not come? And they decided, you know what? Let’s not do that. Let’s go out and take this leap now. And they’re actually traveling the country in a van as a new entrepreneurs. They saved up about three years’ salary, just in case. And they’re taking the leap now because they don’t have the types of personalities. They thought they had tolerable personalities, and they’re realizing that, no, they’re on the other side of the spectrum. They want to maximize their amount of happiness now.

Kim Sutton: Oh, I love that. And I didn’t for the longest time, probably 30 years, I didn’t realize there was any alternative to tolerating my circumstances.

Brittany Hoopes: Well, I think online entrepreneurship now, I mean, think about when you were saying that your kids, they’re watching you and your husband, and they’re also watching their father, like they had these different kinds of career paths. I mean, the whole being able to work from home, to be able to work remotely, to create your own business with such ease relatively compared to other generations is just amazing. I mean, I don’t have kids yet, but I’m excited for when I do start my family. Because just the opportunities available, career wise for these younger generations is gotta be so exciting, it’s got to feel so limitless. And for me, I consider myself a dreamer, and I love to study dreamers. I feel like at any point in time, being able to dream right now is just an exciting prospect.

Kim Sutton: Oh, my gosh, I totally hear that. I didn’t realize how my dreams could get bigger every single day. And my goals get bigger every single day. And that was something that my parents didn’t really see either. They had the goal of making it through this here.

Brittany Hoopes: Yeah. I mean, that’s an interesting thought too, because I do see this. And not to say it has to happen to each person, but if you do kind of take a step back and look at your family history, I have noticed in those that I speak with, it’s like a swinging pendulum. My grandfather was very creative and changed jobs all the time, and was always doing something new, but never really amassed any sort of riches or any sort of money. Followed his creative passions. Well, my dad grew up in that environment. And to him, it was like, oh, that was awful. I want stability. That was not the environment I wanted to grow up. And so what did he do? He pursued a corporate path and was very successful in his career. And he kind of did, he swung the other way in then that pendulum. And now, he’s retired and now  enjoying the life that he always wanted granted. He started in his 50’s, but now he’s doing it. And then you have somebody like me that’s like, oh, I couldn’t wait till I was in my 50’s, I have to do it now. I need to be creative now. And I’m sure my kids are gonna one day look at me and be like, we need stability. It just goes back and forth. I guess my hope is that, why does it have to go back and forth? Can’t we find a good balance? Can’t we do it in a way that is responsible, and that is fulfilling, and also sets a great example for future generations, that I think the online entrepreneurship world is kind of bridging the gap between those two.

Kim Sutton: That is such an interesting thought because that is what so many entrepreneurs are looking for. We’re looking to not be swinging the pendulum. We’re looking for stability, but at the same time, growth and excitement. But there can be a lot of times where we’re wondering, okay, where’s that next client? Where am I gonna find them? Yeah, yeah, I’m scared. And then the goal might turn to just bringing in any dollar rather than the one that we’re passionate about. Just bringing in any client rather than one that we’re really passionate about.

Brittany Hoopes: I think it’s nice that it is becoming more and more commonplace, that you can be a freelancer, or that you could be an online entrepreneur, that you can have your own company and goals in this way. I don’t think there’ll be such a, I don’t wanna say stigma coz I don’t think there is a stigma. But there’s more and more people showing that this is possible. And so that it’s not so much, the crazy pendulum swinging one way or the other. I guess this is my thing when I was acting, that I was seeing people. I graduated school, entered college in 2008, and I was seeing people lose their jobs left and right, people who lost their origins left or right, and people who had taken the safe path. And it was like, okay, so that’s what you want me to go down. It didn’t look too safe to me as an 18 year old and during college. So why not pursue what I love to do? I don’t think any path is considered stable or safe. It’s the mindset that you bring to it, and it’s the ability to be flexible. And whatever path you choose, why not pick one that really lights your heart on fire, something that you really desire?

Kim Sutton: Oh, my gosh, how true is that? Actually, when I lost my job as an interior designer, it was in 2008. And because I had already moved to Ohio, Dayton, Ohio, we had GMC plants being closed, we had DHL that had closed, local. There were tens of thousands of people unemployed around here. And Dayton, Ohio is not the mecca of interior design or interior architecture. But by that time, thankfully, I had already realized this isn’t for me.

Brittany Hoopes: Yeah, yeah. It’s funny how sometimes those seemingly negative events can actually lead to big positive changes, or at least give you that opportunity to kind of realign and determine what you want. I think that’s the thing that I find so intriguing about goal setting is that, yes, we want to have a goal. And yes, you need to stick with that goal to reach it. But what happens when that dream changes, or that goal changes? And being able to have the flexibility and the great enough sense of yourself to admit to yourself that, hey, this isn’t a path I want to go down any longer. And that doesn’t mean that I failed, it just means that I’m in tune with myself enough to know that I change. Because to assume that you’re going to go down the same route your whole life and that’s it is to assume that you’re not going to grow. And I think that’s a foolhardy way to look at it.

Kim Sutton: Brittany, I don’t know if you know, but I’m writing a book called chronic idea disorder, because I see that so many entrepreneurs get so many ideas. And before they finished the idea that they just had yesterday, before they finished building it out, launch it and really get it out, they’ve gotten a new idea and they started out. And personally, I would be really interested in looking back over my entrepreneurial journey, and how much time and energy I put into ideas that I never fully realized. I have a graveyard of ideas in my backyard.

Brittany Hoopes: Oh, yeah. I have a word document full of ideas that I have yet to see the light of day. Maybe some of them will, maybe some of them won’t.

Kim Sutton: How do you control which idea you’re working on right now, and what your top goal is at the moment?

Brittany Hoopes: I think that’s interesting because that is where we get into, that you need a flexion point between, okay, how do we know when it’s genuinely time to change our goals because they’re no longer aligned? How is it time that I’m not going to pursue interior design and I’m going to switch gears and do something else? Or like me, when do I decide not to be an actress and pursue something else versus I have this idea graveyard that I just don’t stick with anything long enough to see it through. To answer your question to know which idea you should prioritize, which idea you should focus on really needs to be most connected with what is pulling your excitement, what is pulling your desire, and really kind of bundle it up to a higher purpose. 

So I look back and I see, even with Soultiply, which I guess I never said. After I found qualitative research, I decided to pursue goal setting, and I wanted to share the insights and the conversations that I was hearing with these young go getters so I developed Soultiply. And first, it started out as a blog. I love to write, started out as a blog, then I did a little bit of YouTube and tried to do some video sort of thing. And now, at the beginning of this year, I launched the Soultiply Podcast. So when I look at that topic, we can kind of see, okay, well, I pursued a lot of different versions of this, and I kept on switching it up. And yes, you do kind of have to keep in mind that the more you keep on switching, sometimes it does take time for something to latch on, for something to work for you to really recognize what is working for you. But I also kind of view those moments, at least in the example that I’m giving for my own life and Soultiply, that those moments that you kind of have to find out what works for you, and you have to get your bearings. It’s like a young child learning to walk. You’re gonna stumble a few times, and you might need to try a few different things before you find what really works for you before you can run. And I think it’s giving yourself that leeway, and understanding that you’re not going to be expert at the beginning. So some of your ideas aren’t going to be experts. 

I mean, I look back at past websites that I develop at Soultiply or past blog posts and things, and I realize how far I’ve come. And I appreciate that. I’m glad that you have to have that discretion to know, okay, is it time to switch because this isn’t working, or I have a better idea, give yourself that leeway. You don’t want to be so rigid that, oh, this is what I said I’m going to do from move get go. And if I stop, then that means failure. It’s really recognizing, okay, what’s serving that higher purpose, that higher goal, which for me has always been curiosity and conversation. That’s what I want to do with Soultiply. I want to help go getters achieve their goals by being curious around the people, around me, and how they’re achieving their own goals. And then being able to share that with people who are achieving their goals as well through conversation. And I think a podcast does that great. A blog post? Not so much, so I’m glad I switched.

Kim Sutton: Thank you for bringing up that higher purpose because I know I was personally stuck in it. And we’ve already talked about it. I was chasing the dollar. I didn’t care what I did. Yeah, I didn’t have that purpose. But there’s Simon Sinek, what is your why? TED Talk is Steve Olsher has What Is Your What? Do you have any advice for millennials, or any entrepreneur, or any person in general who just really doesn’t know what their why or what right now? How they can really start digging deep to figure out what their bigger purpose during their time here?

Brittany Hoopes: Absolutely. And I think it’s one of those things that people want to come at it logically. They want to sit down, and maybe a list and writing things that will help you. If you’re that kind of person, that’s great. But it’s not something that you can just be like, I’m going to put this on my calendar, I’m going to find my purpose today. You do have to take action. And I think the best advice that I would give based on the conversations that I’ve had is that you need to kind of pursue that excitement. And I think it’s one of those things that you’ll know. And how are you going to begin to know is you have to go out and try things. A lot of times, some of our biggest clues into what our purposes is by really recognizing what’s not. I look back on that period of time after I gave up acting and I tried just about everything. I mean, any industry you could imagine, I was there for a moment in time. I felt like I was floundering, and it’s only with time in perspective are you able to look back and be grateful for something like that. But I am actually very grateful for the fact that I tried a bunch of different careers that I thought would be really fulfilling. And each one had something that I knew automatically, nope, this isn’t good for me. And so sometimes, that negative feedback, it actually leads you more towards what you want. Okay, so you can cross one thing off the list. Great. That’s one less thing. So keep on going. 

And I think a lot of people, they get frozen in fear, they get really complacent. They don’t know what their purpose is so they’re just going to kind of sit here and hope that it will strike them like a bolt of lightning. And unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. You have to meet it halfway. And that means you have to try something. It might not be the right answer, but you got to try something. And rest assured that if it isn’t the right answer, you can switch. Some people listening might gasp, but I can’t imagine doing that. And I will say it is difficult. I felt like my friends and family were calling me the girl who cried job instead of wolf because it was a new passion, a new purpose every week. But really, I had to kind of set aside what I thought that they were thinking about me or what I felt. That storyline that they were saying, I had to set that aside and be like, you know what? This is in service for, this is my life. These are my priorities. This is my purpose. There is nothing more important right now. But for me to figure this out, it doesn’t matter what other people are thinking. 

A lot of people might be judging because they’re too scared to do it themselves, because it’s a hard process to go through. But as long as you keep on trying new things, as long as you keep on refining based on the positive and negative feedback that you get from trying that particular purpose at the time, and as long as you keep on pursuing what makes you excited, something that you can’t wait to accomplish, something that you can’t wait to do, work that you can’t wait to do. You’re not going to jump out of bed every morning rosy and excited to go to work, that’s just not realistic. But what’s something that you don’t want to be on the tolerable end? I feel like a lot of people are tolerating the lives that they’re living, and that’s no way to go find a purpose.

Kim Sutton: I have in my bedroom a huge rubbermaid bin full of yarn, knitting needles, and maybe quarter finished knitting projects, sweaters, blankets, and you name it, it’s in there because I was tolerating the projects. But when I find that one, that just lights me up. You can’t take me away from my yarn until it’s finished. In several past episodes, both solo and guests, we’ve talked about how sometimes your mess becomes your message and your passion. And that’s how it was for me. The fact that I had gotten so sleep deprived, that I was ready to end, it all became my passion because I don’t want other entrepreneurs to be there. I don’t want them to be feeling suicidal, which is where I eventually got to, and I’m thankfully no longer there. Because now, I would love to know, and I’ll come back to this in a second. I would love to know what it felt like for you when you realize, oh, this is it. But that is really what it felt like for me. I mean, like the clouds parted and I realized, holy moly is what I’m supposed to be doing. And a year and a half later, I have put out a couple things that I’m not so like, I’m not proud of them, not passionate about them. The podcast is, just again, this is actually Episode 336, and 336 episodes into a pod–

Brittany Hoopes: Man, that’s amazing.

Kim Sutton: This is just one of those things. And chronic idea disorder, the book is still stuck in my head. Listeners, you’ve been hearing about it since Episode 1, 2, somewhere back there. It will get out, I’m still super passionate about getting it out there. What did it feel like for you when you realized, this is it.

Brittany Hoopes: I have a very similar experience just how you described it, because the road and the journey is so rocky to figure out what that purpose is like, and what really does feel you. I mean, I was trying so many different jobs, so many different industries. I can remember exactly where I was, and I always tell the story because it’s kind of random. Just to say don’t ever expect that your purpose will become clear to you in any way that you think it will. I was living in New York City at the time. I was on the subway, the ACE line, which is this kind of really rundown side of the subway line on the west side of Manhattan. And I was sitting there in a car alone, it was early in the morning, I was going to some, I think I was working at a catering company at the time, something like that. I was just sitting there, I don’t know, it’s just kind of this thought that just opened up my whole line of thinking. It’s like all of a sudden, everything was clear. It was like, well, of course, Brittany, what has been the one thing that has always been with you your whole life? The one thing that you’ve always been so excited about? It’s been setting goals, and it’s been dreaming, and it’s been recognizing that, oh, there’s opportunity, there’s limitless opportunity in what you can do with your life. 

I mean, the fact that you have these, you know these moments in time on earth, and it’s up to you to decide what you’re going to do with them. The idea of that was just so exciting. And I had been reading and listening, any self help or self development work that I could get my hands on, I was just gobbling up. It was really speaking to me because I recognized that it was helping me along that journey. And for me to kind of recognize, well, now, I’m just kind of interested in knowing how other people relate to this material. How other people are relating to their goals and dreams, and just wanting to have that kind of conversation. It’s like the puzzle pieces. It’s like they were all scattered out on the table for a really long time. These pieces of the puzzle, and I finally just made them all fit. And it felt really nice. And then as a driven person, because many of us are, it can be so frustrating because it’s like we want that purpose, then we don’t know how to move forward. 

But once you have that clear idea, being able to move forward, it’s like, I wouldn’t say it feels effortless because you’re still learning. It’s like the baby learning to walk or to crawl. Yes, it’s still take momentum and movement, but it doesn’t take struggle. I guess it’s not effortless, but you don’t have the sense of struggle any longer. Because so many of us want to take action. It’s not that we’re lazy. It’s not that we’re, anything other than wanting to do what we want to do with our lives, we just don’t know what direction to take it. And so once having kind of that clear sense of purpose, all the pieces just started to fall into place. It’s like, okay, I know how to take action on this now. Now that I know what direction I’m taking action in, that was such a relief.

Kim Sutton: Well, your action took you cross country.

Brittany Hoopes: It’s funny. A whole other goal and dream of mine was to live in California. I lived in New York at the time. Now, I live in Los Angeles. And that was just a goal and dream of mine since I was, gosh, in high school. I’ve always wanted to live in California. And it’s funny because even now, here I am, I’m no longer an actress and I living in you know, why don’t live in Hollywood. But I live in Los Angeles, I live real close. And it’s just funny how life works out that I ended up here anyways, even despite not pursuing a career in acting, it was just a place that I always wanted to live. And it was a huge goal of mine. I mean, I know you Kim from listening to your show and reviewing your website, I’m a big believer in the law of attraction, and that’s huge for me. And living in California was something that I always kept in my mind, it’s a dream. And once I kind of had some flexibility in my job, and the quality of research that I do, I don’t necessarily have to be in one location. My boyfriend at the time, which soon became my fiance, now my husband, he was ready to leave New York. And we both said, okay, well, where do we want to live? And we visited California just to make sure that it was the right place. It was. We fell in love with it, and I could work from anywhere. So he found a job here and made that dream happen.

Kim Sutton: Oh, I love that. In our pre chat, and listeners, in some of the earlier episodes, you can hear how I just recently went to The New Media Summit. Being in Ohio, I’m in the Bible Belt right now, and my faith is very important to me too. But I do follow the law of attraction. So it is very interesting, especially when I was just in San Diego surrounded by a lot of woo, yeah, in the best way. It was nice because it reminds me, especially when I’m surrounded by so much blue collar around here. It reminded me, no, you need to step it up. Think bigger, think bigger.

Brittany Hoopes: Yeah. And I think that’s what goal setting at the beautiful kind of relationship between law of attraction and goal setting for me is finding that balance. Dreaming big, and recognizing that there are really no limits as long as you can dream, you can pursue and being excited. And then having the other part of that, being motivated by that by no means, does that mean throw it up on a vision board and it will just automatically happen. It’s like, no, it’s going to inspire action, that’s why it’s called inspired action. But we need to hear that, have that clear vision first before we can have that inspired action. Just like the example I was giving before the pieces start to fall into place once you can get clear on what you want. But that really is the first step.

Kim Sutton: So once you get clear on your action, and once you know what you’re supposed to be doing, it can be so deep into it. I find myself in this way. I mean, I was still working at 1:00 o’clock this morning because I was so passionate about what I was building for my own business. What type of self care do you have set up in your own life that you make sure that you’re stepping away and taking time for you that’s not work?

Brittany Hoopes: Yeah, they’d love that you asked that Kim because that’s something that I’m deeply exploring with Soultiply, and a lot of the work that I’m doing too because, especially, and this speaks to a very particular kind of person. But if it’s you, I know you’re sure to resonated with it because I get emails and I get messages about it all the time. But a lot of us who are very driven or who love to set goals love to achieve them. Sometimes, we’re a little type A, that kind of comes along with the package a lot of times. Can get so wrapped up in these goals. Just like you said, that we can almost become obsessive about them. And that we can start beating ourselves up if we don’t stick to our schedule and that we could sacrifice sleep because of it. We can do all of this. 

I recognize, at least in myself, that now I love goals. I love dreams. I love pursuing something. But I always caution myself of getting my identity too wrapped up in it because I remember that cautionary tale of feeling like Brittany equals actors, and not knowing who I was without that label. And I feel like sometimes, we can do that with our goals and dreams. Who are we if we’re not pursuing something? And what is our value? Even if we don’t have a goal that we’re pursuing or don’t have a dream, it can make us feel very, I hate to say it, but worthless at times if we don’t know what our purpose or passion is. My heart goes out to people who are struggling with that right now because I know what that feeling is like. I know when you look around, especially with social media these days, it’s impossible to escape. When you look around, it seems like everybody else has it figured out, but you don’t, and you’re struggling internally. It just feels like you only value yourself when you’re driven and you’re accomplishing things. And here, you aren’t accomplishing something. So where’s the value? And my hope with that is that no one has to feel that way. 

Actually with Soultiply starting, I think at the end of May is what we’re trying to start this. But we’re starting a journey of striving, and I’m calling it that because I think sometimes, you can strive and you can go so much and so hard that you begin to kind of lose focus on what you were looking towards what you were looking forward to. And I want to kind of reestablish that foundation for folks who are so caught up in pursuing their goals and dreams that they’ve let go of self care activities, and that they’ve lost that foundation of themselves to recognize that, yes, you are a worthy, awesome human being no matter if you’re achieving a goal or not. And to recognize, okay, how can we be happy with what we have right now? And how can we be joyful in that life, and maybe taking things a little slower while we give ourselves kind of the grace in the room to just naturally see what goals and dreams develop from that. For me, I’ve always been so focused on the go, go, go, the hustle, hustle, hustle of goal setting. What if we turn that on its head. And we look at the other side of that coin and we say, okay, can we get okay with just being still, and being present, and being joyful no matter if the goal has been achieved or not as a way to recognize that balance? And where’s that sweet spot in the middle?

Kim Sutton: Whoo, I love that. So how do you manage to sit still, because I can’t. All my favorite movies on Amazon Prime, and I am incapable. This might be a harsh way of putting it, but don’t ask me to sit down at night and just watch a movie. It drives me crazy to be sitting there and not be doing something else at the same time. Why do you think that is?

Brittany Hoopes: I’m asking questions on your show. But what do you think that is?

Kim Sutton: Because I’m striving all the time. I just want to take action right now and keep on going, and keep on going, and keep on going. I took the red eye home yesterday. I got home at 10:00 o’clock in the morning, and I still manage. And I’m not saying listeners that you should do this. I was still up at 1:00 o’clock this morning. Listeners, I did get my seven to eight hours of sleep last night. I did not sleep really the night before because I was on the airplane, but I was so on fire. And maybe I need to give myself grace for this time because I did just come back from an event and I was so inspired. But that’s how it usually is though.

Brittany Hoopes: Yeah. I think that’s the delineation, Kim, because were you on fire in that inspired kind of way? If yes, then it’s like, well, then ride that. I don’t think self care isn’t just like, oh, it’s like not a numerical thing. You know what I mean? It’s not like, oh, I need this amount of, yes, I guess we should aim for seven to eight hours of sleep on average, that’s good for our health. But there’s going to be ebbs and flows, and being in tune with your own ebbs and flows. I mean, I’m one of those kind of people that I need a good amount of sleep. I just know that about myself. I’m so envious of those that can operate successfully on less hours of sleep. I wish I could do it, but I’m not.

 But there are moments like you just described, I actually just did. I redesigned my logo for Soultiply and I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning, but it was such a creative energy. It felt like it was just flowing out of me and into my computer. And it was fun. I didn’t feel tired the next day because I wasn’t forced. And it’s funny that you asked me this, and I was almost hesitant to bring up this journey of striving because I haven’t started it yet. And I’m excited to end of May on the Soultiply Podcast, every episode will be kind of almost an audio diary of what it means to go on this journey about striving so anyone that’s listening can follow along. And I only think it’s a journey I’ve been striving if you feel that it’s bringing you, if it’s a pain point for you. I think a lot of people can go, go, go, hustle, hustle, hustle, that works for them. 

But for me, I recognize that it was draining me when it was forced, when I wasn’t this creative burst of inspiration when it was like here’s what you know X, Y, Z, successful online entrepreneur says I need to do, so I’m going to do it. And trying to fit myself into this mold of what I thought success should look like, and recognizing, no, no, no, let’s step back. This isn’t feeling right. And maybe I am striving too much, and maybe I need to take a moment even though I’ve always been this big goal setter. And maybe I need to take a moment, settle down and say, okay, what truly is important, and get still for once. Just see where that leads. I wish I could tell you what the ending of this, but maybe we could check back in or something, and after I’ve had a few weeks of the journey of un-striving. I’m sure between the experiences that I’ll be sharing and the experiences of Soultiply that are going along the journey with me. There’s sure to be surprising things that come up on just how we can get okay with our goals, and achieve them in a way that’s healthy. Now, that’s un-striving.

Kim Sutton: I love it. And I love that you are not even on this journey yet.

Brittany Hoopes: Oh, not yet. Nope.

Kim Sutton: I have to share. And I shared this in the episode with Jennie Nash, which I’ll put in the show notes. But for a couple months, I didn’t even think about doing my book, writing my book because I was reminded that I don’t know the ending yet. But chronic idea disorder is not something that I’m ever going to overcome completely. I just need to know how to better handle it, and know how to take one project at a time, but it’s always going to be here. I am constantly going to be getting a never ending stream of ideas. And unless I’m on drugs or something, it’s always going to be here. To use that as an excuse for not moving forward is not a good excuse.

Brittany Hoopes: It’s about finding that balance. And I had a lot of fear because this journey of un-striving came up, and I’ll be doing a series of soul experiments with Soultiply. It’s a journey of un-striving right now, but a couple months from now, it might be something different. I don’t know, I like the idea of trying to kind of just view a topic through a lens of like a mini soul experiment. And what kind of came about from this is that I just felt like I was forcing so much. I was forcing this idea of success, and I felt a lot of pressure. Here I am, a qualitative researcher that focuses on goal setting and I was forcing so many of my goals, and I was forcing this idea of success and I was feeling kind of very beaten down by some of the people around me. Just comparing myself and I was just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we need to get back down to basics. I mean, I’m talking foundational basics. Let’s take away all the goals so that we can see what’s left, so that we can find that balance eventually. I mean, it’s a little scary. Here, people listen to my show right now because they’re go-getters, that they love to set goals and they love to do that, and I’m a little scared that maybe they’ll see, and a journey I’ve been striving may not be for them, but I think for a lot of us. 

A friend of mine, when I was telling her about this journey, she said something really great that I love. She’s like, Brittany, this is the new wave of goal setting. It’s what she said. And I was like, you know what? I think that’s so true. Because I think so many of us, we do have all of what it takes to make big things happen in our lives. But now, we’ve gotten to the point, okay, how do we do that and have it still feel good. We’re not too drained, and we’re feeling that we’re really in touch with who we are while we’re doing it. We’re not just trying to copy someone else because that’s how they became successful or whatnot, and so that’s what I’m really trying to. I want to remove the goals so that we can add them back in a little bit at a time and find what is that balance there. It’s not all or nothing.

Kim Sutton: Oh, I love that. Brittany, this has been an amazing chat. I just want to ask, where can listeners go to learn more about you and get on the journey of un-striving when that time comes. And listeners, before I forget to mention, you’ll be able to find all the links though thekimsutton.com/pp336.

Brittany Hoopes: Awesome. Yes, if you’re interested in the journey of un-striving or any of my work on goal setting and research, the fun conversations that I’ve had with pretty inspiring people, feel free to go to soultilpy.com, everything’s there. I have a Podcast that’s by the same name so you can find that in Apple Podcasts, wherever you listen to. Wherever you listen to Kim show, you could probably find me there as well. I hope to have you. And if you’re interested in setting goals, we can do this together. That’s what I’m excited about. I keep on calling myself a guinea pig and guide, because I’ll share my experience. But at the same time, I’m excited to go on this journey so that I can help facilitate the same journey for other people down the road.

Kim Sutton: Can I borrow that guinea pig and guide? I love that.

Brittany Hoopes: I thought that just captured it so well. It’s like you kind of have to be both because I can’t. I have to live through it to be able to help others, that’s the truth. You can’t help anybody if you haven’t gone through it yourself. And so I thought, you know what? Let’s do both at the same time. We’re going to go on this journey together. But then my job will kind of the researcher and me will to kind of take that step back and say, okay, but what are the parts of this journey? And how can I teach it to someone else? And I can’t wait to be able to do that, to share that.

Kim Sutton: Oh, I love that. And that’s what I do on the digital marketing side of my business. I guinea pig my own website, my own marketing, and then I will guide other people through it. So yeah, borrowing that. So thank you so much for sharing. And again Listeners, you can find the link at thekimsutton.com/pp336. There will be a link to Brittany’s podcast there as well. I know we would both love it if you would listen. While you’re obviously already listening, subscribe, rate and review, because your subscription rate and review will help us get bigger exposure so we can better help the people who are looking for us. Brittany, I would love to know if you have a parting piece of advice or a golden nugget that you can offer to listeners before we sign off for today. And once again, thank you so much for being here.

Brittany Hoopes: No thank you, Kim. A parting piece of advice, I guess I would say, as I’m back on my journey so far. The journey that I’m about to embark on, we’re all works in progress. That’s what I love about goal setting. And everything is just recognizing. I guess if there’s one thing that I wish I would have learned sooner, and I’m glad that I eventually have learned, it’s just to really be in touch with what excites you. I think especially we were talking so much about purpose here in this episode, Kim, and I think that’s one of the biggest indicators. I always think back, my mom always told me before I met my husband, she was like, when you meet the guy that you want to marry, when you know, you’ll know. And I was like, oh, that’s just such a frustrating piece of advice. Because I don’t know. So the answer was always no unless I knew. 

And it wasn’t until I met him, didn’t take very long at all for me to just instantly know that he was my other half. And I feel the same applies to your goals and your dreams, when you know, you’ll know. And a lot of times, what can be an indicator that you know is that it really excites you. Not in that way that we’re pushing ourselves too hard and staying up to 1:00 in the morning because we’re forcing ourselves to, but in that creative burst of energy, this is just flowing through me sort of way. And the only way you’re ever going to know that is if you keep trying things until you find the thing that works.