PP 585: Empower the Next Generation of Young Leaders with Wolf Castillo

“Rely on community. You will be surprised at what happens when we elevate ourselves from this individualistic society and culture we’ve been raised into, a level of community and collective growth that we can truly provide, an immeasurable amount of value to ourselves and to others.”

You’re in for another special treat with today’s guest, Wolf Castillo, formerly Jarrod Castillo. He is a Life Skills and Mindset Coach, Mentor and Speaker for youth success and empowerment. As his tag line “Follow the Wolf” suggests, he encourages & guides today’s adolescents and young adults to help them make the right decisions.

In today’s standards, Wolf had every reason to boast as a youth. He excelled in school, athletics and his jobs; but something was missing. Behind all his successes was a depressed young man. Learn how he managed to not only survive but also thrive and how he can help young adults and adolescents become better prepared for their future.

Listen in as Kim and Wolf shares some parenting tips and wisdom on how to raise a happy and healthy adolescent.


02:26 Living with a Crooked Mindset System
09:37 “Why to How to What” vs “What to How to Why”
15:48 Try the Behaviorism Principle
18:12 Do You Have a FOMO?
24:33 Kim’s Shift From Sales Calls
28:15 Following the Wolf Journey
31:31 Teaching Kids to be Leaders
42:39 Should Children Fear Their Parents?
50:32 Education vs. Fear

Are you living a life that others created for you? Join in as @thekimsutton interviews Wolf Castillo on #effectiveparenting #youthempowerment #trust #fear #educationClick To Tweet



Think Better, Live Better by Joel Osteen

Awaken the Giant Within- How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical, and Financial Destiny by Anthony Robins

Inspirational Quotes:

“I think it’s so important that we, as the human race are starting to teach our children whether or not that actually are ours, legally, birth wise, or whatever, to develop an awesome mindset and understand the benefit of being positive.” –Kim Sutton

“It’s about picking a game that works for you … Comparing and trying to measure up to other people’s games…is a losing game.” –Wolf Castillo

“I think that positivity is a great framework from which we operate. We create games inside of that positive mindset.” –Wolf Castillo

“Positivity is an intangible thing. But the action applied with that brings the practical to the framework that can really propel us forward.” –Wolf Castillo

“We need to understand that fundamentally, money is worthless. But what we can get with money has all of the worth. So the opportunity cost is important thinking and bearing in mind.” –Wolf Castillo

“They’re telling us exactly what they want and they need and it’s whether or not we’re going to go and meet them where they’re at. Learn to speak their language, be willing to take on something new.” –Wolf Castillo

“I think we always have to remember that even as parents we are not always right. And we as parents need to remember that we can say sorry too.” –Kim Sutton

“Rely on community … You will be surprised what happens when we elevate ourselves from this individualistic society and culture we’ve been raised into, a level of community and collective growth that we can truly provide in a measurable amount of value to ourselves and to others.” –Wolf Castillo



The major piece is rely on your community. It doesn’t matter what it is. If you want to improve your health, find one, two or three workout buddies, find a mentor. Find people who are going to hold you accountable when you yourself can hold yourself accountable because we all get to those difficult positions, whether it’s in our health and our finances or we lose somebody who we love a lot or we are depressed. 

Be okay with saying I am hurting, I am struggling. I need support because you’ll be surprised what happens when we elevate ourselves from this individualistic society and culture. We’ve been raised into a level of community and collective growth that we can truly provide in an immeasurable amount of value to ourselves and to others. ~Wolf Castillo

KIM: Welcome back to another episode of Positive Productivity! I’m so happy to have you here today and I’m thrilled to introduce you to our guest Wolf Castillo. Oh my gosh, I got it right.

WOLF CASTILLO: –Yeah, you did.

KIM: I just got an education because I do not speak Spanish, period. I mean, I know hola and si, that’s it. And I did not realize that double L’s equal why. So anyway, Wolf is a youth life skills and mindset coach. We met a few months back and I was blown away by what you do Wolf and I think we even talked about my kids when we met?


KIM: Yeah. But I think it’s so important that we as the human race are starting to teach our children whether or not they actually are ours legally birth wise or whatever, to develop an awesome mindset and understand the benefit of being positive. And I know that it took me 30 years to even begin to understand these skills. So that’s why we have wolf here today. But we’ll, if I would love if you would introduce yourself to listeners, share a little bit of your journey with us and then just share more about what you’re doing.

WOLF CASTILLO: Hey, Hey thank you so much for having me on here Kim is such a pleasure, but yeah, so a little bit about me as she mentioned, I am a life skills and mindset coach for use. I recently, within the past, I would say years that I actually officially become like incorporated, so to speak, and what I was doing and basically if the core of everything that I am doing and what I’m up to is I realized that at a point in my life won’t go too far into the store unless I’m asked to later. But I got to a point in my life where I was doing everything that I was told that I was supposed to be, meaning I went to school because I was told go to school, get good grades, get a good job. That’s how you do it. People, that’s the solution for success. If you do that, all things are good. So I went to school. I got good grades. I worked four jobs at the same time, all the while work, going to school four times. So I was basically schooling and working 60 to 70 hours a week. I paid for my first car full in cash. By working like that, I also was able to graduate with no student loan debt. Having paid my way through. Also having worked those jobs.

KIM: –Oh my Gosh.

WOLF CASTILLO: I graduated, Yeah right. Crazy.

KIM: Can I share my student loans with you. I graduated 20 years ago.

WOLF CASTILLO: –Tell me, tell me.

KIM: No, can I share some of my student loans with you?

WOLF CASTILLO: Oh yeah, I know, right? We’ll divvy them up.

KIM: Yes. Yeah, and it will still hurt a lot.

WOLF CASTILLO: –It will still hurt.

KIM: Yeah. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.

WOLF CASTILLO: –No, you’re good. You’re good. You know what though? You actually bring up something really important and so true because that’s kind of one of the main things that has been on my mind a lot lately is the fact that student loans are so high and our why ‘s, so to speak, on our education is really not what it used to be. You’re like a perfect example of what it looks like, so to speak. Go to the system and you’re left with this, with a degree and also this massive debt that you know, even still we have people who are paying it off well beyond what seems to make sense.

KIM: Hmm Mm. Yeah. I mean I thought that by 20 years post-graduation that I would have my student loans paid off, but it looks like I may have my house paid off before my student loans. Well actually that’s not using a positive mindset because I,


KIM: You know, I will have you ever… a windfall that’s what it is. People experiencing –


KIM: -Windfall. Right? But isn’t windfall usually supposed to be a good thing? Like they win the lottery. I’m going to have to look this word up. I might be just making up stuff right now, but –

WOLF CASTILLO: –You’re bringing up a good point.

KIM: -It sounds like a negative word, but it’s actually a good word. What I’m trying to say is I do see, quite visibly, that huge influx coming and I have a positive mindset and I know that when I’m focused and when I’m doing the work I need to do, then that will happen. My house won’t get paid off before my student loans because I’ll be able to pay them all off with a check and I’ll be able to surprise the –


KIM: -heck out of the person at the bank. I’m just putting it –


KIM: -out there. It will happen. Have you heard of Jenna Kutcher?


KIM: Okay. She’s got a huge, massive Instagram following and she’s got a really awesome podcast, but she was sharing this story about how just before her 30th birthday she went into the bank with her husband and they paid off their mortgage.


KIM: She shocked the heck out of the bank tellers. Now I’ve missed 30 I’ve missed 40 but Jeez, I mean, when you look at statistics, even in America, if I could even do it by the time I’m 50 which still gives me another 10 years, I was still be ahead of the game.


KIM: Well that’s if I’m playing the game of everybody else, but I’m not.

WOLF CASTILLO: Yeah, and I think you bring up a great point. It’s about picking a game that works for you. This isn’t about being competitive with those around you. Ultimately, I think a lot of times that comparing and trying to measure up to other people’s games so to speak – like judging our first step by someone’s 1,000th step – it’s a losing game. It really has nothing to do with them and has everything to do with how we believe that we’re going to be perceived by certain people. For example, if someone like myself for the longest time I had a hard time admitting that I was living at home throughout my college years and to be living at home at 23, but there are people well beyond that and ultimately it comes from a place of believing that we’re supposed to be at a certain place by a certain age. There’s this guideline, but I think that it’s complete total misnomer. You’re where you’re at, you’re always where you’re supposed to be at and how positive mindset comes into that. My belief is that I think that positivity is a great framework from which we operate. We create games inside of that positive mindset. So for you saying by 50, you will have paid off your real estate and school debt loan, or as I like to call it my school investment loan, because debt can be a little heavy. Just setting that intention and then taking actions in alignment with that. Not being naive, but what I think can be the downfall of a positive framework or mindset is people who use that as a way to avoid dealing with reality, like completely ignoring the bills that are there saying: “oh, it’s okay”, I’m screened positive and not do anything about it, and just sit in one place [inaudible] and hoping that it’s gonna come to you versus having a positive mindset saying, you know what, those bills are there and I need to get out and take measurable actions to create that outcome. Because positivity is an intangible thing. But the action applied with that brings the practical to the framework that can really propel us forward.

KIM: Absolutely, pardon that pause everybody. I just had one of those Aha moments. The “Oh my gosh,” did I actually pushed start recording, which I had this whole –


KIM: Okay. Listeners, Positive Productivity does not always mean perfection, but I was just over here thinking, oh shoot, did I push record? But going back to what you were talking about, bills I have gone through challenges, –


KIM: -hurdles, and what I noticed was that I could either get bogged down by the bills –


KIM: -and focus on them and really worry about them. Or I could realize there really is nothing I can do about the bill directly today. But going back to what you are saying, I can focus on something else I can do instead. Like that will move me forward.


KIM: So in full disclosure, I mean we don’t have them all calling anymore, but we used to get calls all the time from collections people, –


KIM: -now all those collections calls had been replaced by telemarketers and bots and all that stuff. Don’t even ask me why we have a home phone anymore. I do not know. But we would call them the fan club.


KIM: -the collectors the fan club. And if we had company, I mean we could look at the caller ID and one of us would look at the other and we were just say the fan club because when are we going to do let the company know that it’s another collector calling. But we were able to take it a little bit later because we weren’t making it so negative. Right. And I also think that –


KIM: -when we stopped stressing about how we’re going to solve this, that and every other problem that often even better solutions come out.

WOLF CASTILLO: I think you’re spot on. I was actually just having this conversation with somebody saying you can’t make this up. I said that in the context of, in like Simon Sinek words, I love Simon Sinek of going from why to how to, what versus what to, how to why. If my why or my commitment is that my family, my entire family is thriving financially like me, my husband like ended. Because of that, our relationships with our kids and everything beyond that begins to pry because of the financial abundance that we’re going to attract. Like that’s the, why that I’m setting. I think that ultimately what naturally happens next is, you know, for most of those we get into, well how can I possibly make that happen? There’s just no way. And then we create cause he’s the interesting thing about stress and cortisol and things like that as we can literally really think ourselves into that state. It’s all state. You can put yourself in a state of joy and bliss by creating a foundation of beliefs and ideas that will then gravitate and pull things towards you that are that where you can do that by creating stressful situations that ultimately limit our capacity to be able to deal with whatever is to come next versus staying in reality, which is the reality of it is there’s a bill sitting on my counter and the reality is the next step I’m going to take is I’m going to have three sales calls or we can say there’s a bill on my counter and I can make it mean, which has nothing to do with reality. It’s what meaning I give to it. I can make it mean that I am not worthy or I’m not serving my family or I am not enough. To some extent you create this distance between where you’re at right now and where you want to go versus closing it by just saying, I’m already here, I’m at the top of the mountain now let’s walk backwards as to how it is that I’m going to do that. If I know my bill is 1000 bucks, how many sales calls or how many sales packages so to speak, or how many hours of work do I need to do in order to hit that goal and then break that down into micro bites that I can then take on. Oh, okay, I need to have two successful sales calls. My conversion is 20% that means I need to have x amount of calls, say 20 you know like it becomes very practical and I think that’s what it’s about is don’t get in worried about, oh my goodness, all this gap. Just create the positive mindset and then work from there.

KIM: Hmm, yes. So I want to take this back to your work just for a moment. I mean as you know, I’m a mom of five. My kids from four year old twins to a 16 year old. The 16 year old who I’m about to talk about in full disclosure is sitting in my office because he is now on summer vacation, but he knows how to keep his mouth shut. But we were having some struggles last summer and he wasn’t doing his chores, so he lost his computer and –


KIM: He’s grounded and his attitude just begin to stink. And I actually made them read a book. I made them read, think better live better by Joel Olsteen, which for listeners who aren’t Christian, this is a Christian book and you are a Christian. A lot of people think that Joel Olsteen is to prosperity preacher, which I can see how he might’ve gotten that nickname, but I think a lot of people put too much faith. And I, I know faith could be a strong word, but I think it’s the right word into the winning lottery ticket. –


KIM: Let’s just stuff a few more dollars into the scratch off machine because when I get one that wins, my life is gonna change. And I don’t care if you’re Christian, I don’t care if you’re, you know, if you believe in God at all. But I firmly believe that you were not created, however you believe you were created to be here to stuff your future into a lottery scratch off machine.


KIM: You create your reality. So you can either sit there every night watching another six hours of whatever’s on TV or you can invest an hour or two of that into something that can make you better and make the world better.


KIM: Anyway, so I had them read it and I actually told him he had to read this book right next to me, like not literally right next to me but in the office. And I kept on hearing him say: “hmm hmm”. I was like: “ahuh”, you’re getting something good out of that. So his attitude did improve, but you might get a kick –


KIM: -out of this, but then took a step back again. So I feel bad saying this, but I pulled my Tony Robins, it’s in my bedroom right now because I’m finally trying to get through the whole thing myself. But it’s –

WOLF CASTILLO: –Unlimited power.

KIM: -unleash the power or waiting

WOLF CASTILLO: [inaudible]

KIM: -one of those like,

WOLF CASTILLO: [inaudible]–within that’s what it is.

KIM: Yeah, I always get it mixed up. But yes, awaken the giant within and it’s a fat book, like –


KIM: -it’s gotta be like 600 pages at least, and I took it off the shelf and I was like: “you want to try another book”? And he just looks at me and he’s, he’s smiling he’s like: “oh no, I’m good now. Thank you’. [inaudible] This one’s next. But I wished that as a child, my parents didn’t know about personal development. As a parent myself, you can find my books all throughout the house and listeners, I mean all throughout the house, I will not hide the fact that if you opened up under the bathroom doors, there’s a book in each tour. I’ve dropped more the books that I can tell you into the bathtub. No, none into the toilet, but more than I can even count into the bath tub. I wanted to be, if I could just stuffed them underneath my kids pillows, you know when they’re all old enough, I would love to do that. Maybe there’ll be ingesting this stuff by Osmosis if they’re not actually reading it, but it’s forgotten by so many people. You were explaining before this episode, and I hope you don’t mind me putting this into you or onto you, but you were explaining how you’re doing, you’re changing your name legally and that it may or may not already be done in may, may or not be done by the time this episode releases. But the name on this episode is the name that you are changing too, which is wolf.


KIM: And I’d love for you to share with the listeners what you shared with me about why you’re doing the name change.

WOLF CASTILLO: Sure. So for one, I love that you catch, you brought the person development to a way to be able to motivate something in your child and I actually thought that was really brilliant. Maybe this, well it won’t serve somebody to something that I heard I was thought was really great is if you wanted your child to do a specific behavior, say read a book, you incentivize them with something that they want. So let’s just say your kid really wants to get candy or they want to go to camp or whatever. Most of that comes down to money. So I heard about this kid who’s his dad said, every time you finish a personal development book I’ll give you 20 bucks. So now it becomes this incentivize thing. Not only do they get money and maybe teach them how to invest and all that, but then they also get the knowledge and you know they obviously there’s requirements for them to have so to speak, quote completed it but it’s a great way-

KIM: –[inaudible] borrow that. Oh my God.

WOLF CASTILLO: You should everyone should you incentivize them with something that they want people, if you’ve got kids and you want them to do something and incentivize them with what they want cause it’s actually proven scientifically behavior is more actually more likely to occur. That actually behavior you want to occur when you use positive and negative reinforcement versus positive and negative punishment. Scientifically proven.

KIM: I okay. So I already told you about the 16 year old. My 13 almost 14 year old is just a sports star and he’s popular and it’s hard. Do you have a conversation with him right now without his phone interfering? It’s on summer vacation right now and the whole group of friends is in a snap message thing –

WOLF CASTILLO: –Of course.

KIM: -together. I don’t use snap. So my 16 year old is trying to educate me really quickly because apparently he was listening. But-

WOLF CASTILLO: –Snap chat.

KIM: -Yeah, well they’re in snap chat but it’s like a group message. So at any point, any one of these like up teenth number of children are messaging each other and like, can you just focus on me for a minute? I’m talking to you –


KIM: – but now you got me intrigued. Okay, you can have your phone back, you can have your phone in proportion to the amount of time that you spend reading these books. Because I’ll tell you what he’s gotten caught into now is his appearance is his weight –


KIM: -is if he turns down an invitation to go somewhere that he thinks he’ll never be invited again.


KIM: And he actually got me thinking about myself as entrepreneurs. We, oh and this same kid intro told me a couple of years ago what fomo means cause I had no idea. It was like, what the heck is F.O.M.O? –


KIM: -Yeah it is. But I didn’t realize what it was. And when I saw him getting into the summer and he’s like, if I don’t go to this one, I’ll never get invited again. But we often fall into that as entrepreneurs if we don’t –

WOLF CASTILLO: –Of course.

KIM: -say yes to this opportunity that we’re not going to have another opportunity. So I had to look back at him. I was like, and I’m just going to say his name, Robert, you know, you can coordinate activities that all your friends can do and that way you don’t have to wait for the next invitation. Well it’s not that easy. Well, yes it is. Just put out an invitation inviting them to come here instead of, you know, you have an a tagalong everywhere else. It’s not that easy. Yes, it is just yes it is. And we as entrepreneurs need to realize that too.

WOLF CASTILLO: –Of course.

KIM: We can say no and not lose something even better.

WOLF CASTILLO: You’re spot on. And you know, F.O.M.O. is a real thing for everybody. I don’t care if you’re, if you’re an entrepreneur, a kid, a parent or anybody, we all have that perceived, most of us to some extent we have a fear of missing out or something. It’s like, oh no, I want to be a part of the collective so to speak. Like what if I was on an X, Y, and Z and you know, sometimes it boils down to actually just missing out. Sometimes it boils down to self-esteem things, which is why I believe that the work with mindset and challenging our belief patterns and systems that don’t serve us like the belief that I am only good enough if I’m only good enough, if I make it to every single meeting with my friends and if I don’t, then I’m not going to be accepted. Why would challenge that? You know, I would say, okay, well where does that come from and if for some reason that were true, if that works true, let’s just play with that. If that were true, then my then question would be, are those truly your friends then? Because in my opinion, true friends wouldn’t ostracize somebody because then ultimately and volunteers, you’re being a true highest expression of yourself, whatever that is, you will then attract those people that sometimes to get to that goal do you have to cycle through the dirt and the Briony and unnecessary unwanted stuff to get to that point. So I, I think it really does all come full circle and we all have that somewhere. We all have that fear of missing out.

KIM: You have a good microphone. I just need to tell you that.


KIM: Yeah, we caught that whole like wherever you are pacing too. I’m picking on you. Sorry. You and I were chatting for a bit before we pushed record and I just want to share a little bit of the conversation that you and I had. I’m not going to get into so many of the details, but I was sharing with you that I let a client go a few weeks ago who had been –


KIM: -getting a lot, a lot of free service and I found myself, okay, so back up a little bit, 2016 I totally strung out and realized that I was working with clients steady like so I sent, –


KIM: -I stopped bringing on the clients who weren’t in the niche niches. I work with business and life coaches that I wanted to work with. So dentists, chiropractors, I think you’re awesome but I’m not passionate about that. Like I am business and life coaches so, –

WOLF CASTILLO: –Of course.

KIM: -and then my value and myself has, I don’t want to say skyrocketed, but it is very drastically changed since 2016 but there has still been, well fomo. If I say no to this person, if I don’t offer to help them when they are in a place of need and they are in a place of scarcity mindset, then they’re not going to like me anymore. But then I realized, and this is what happened a few weeks ago, that I had invested 80 to 120 hours of my time into building somebody else’s business instead of focusing on my business and serving the other clients who had been paying for my time. And I had to end that. So about a month too late, actually, let’s just be honest, but six months too late, I terminated that. Well, long story short, I found out that that person is not happy because they’re not getting free service anymore and it’s coming back around to bite me. But what I was sharing with Wolf right before this episode, and I’d love to get your input on this, was that that free time, those 80 to 120 hours did I invested into building their business because I felt bad could have been invested into creating podcast episodes, creating blog articles, creating free content that wouldn’t have only helped that one person, but could have potentially helped millions. So I think that when we have that fear of missing out and we get concerned about helping one person, that we need to look at the bigger picture. Now, if I am I going to give that this one person a lot of my time or am I going to give the world for my time?

WOLF CASTILLO: Wow. You know what I heard in that at the very end was this like shift from this fear of missing out to the true courage to truly step in. Meaning to have the courage to truly step into our infinite power in our potential and realizing that we’re always playing a game of what’s called an economics to my understanding opportunity costs, meaning I can go in and spend an hour, we’re hanging out with friends, messing around, not really doing anything that’s really serving me. Not that spending time with friends is not important, but being really mindful of, you know, am I always spending a bunch of time going and hanging out with friends when I know in reality what I should be doing is making those sales calls. Because when I do my sales calls, when I take care of my business, I’m having a greater impact on numbers of people. I have more money coming in so that I can continue to serve because money’s for money’s sake is pointless. Truth be told-

KIM: –Oh may.

WOLF CASTILLO: -money for money’s sake, it’ s because guess what? If people don’t want money, they want with, they can get with money, right?

KIM: –Yeah.

WOLF CASTILLO: I want to be able to get food to put in my body and nourish my body. I want to be able to put my kid into a good school so they can get a good education so they can have a good life, like whatever the belief is. We need to understand that fundamentally money is worthless, but what we can get with money has all of the worth. So opportunity cost is important thinking and bearing in mind cause look, no matter what decision you make, you’re sacrificing in infinite number of other things. For example, if I say I’m going to do this sales call, I’m missing, I’m hanging out with friends, but in time’s family driving to go get ice cream, picking up food, like there’s always gonna be things that we’re going to be cutting out or missing out on so to speak. But if we just have the courage to step in confidently and then pivot as we go and make more of those decisions, I think that that leads to a more empowered living in all areas of life.

KIM: Well, if I just need to share, like you’ve mentioned sales calls a couple times now and I do see them as important or as important for various industries and well for all industries. However, I personally cannot stand sales calls. I just got to be totally honest.

WOLF CASTILLO: –Most of us don’t.

KIM: I have not shared this on the podcast yet and I haven’t even shared it with my audience, but by the time this episode, so it goes live, it will be shared out there. So I sent that email letting the client know that you know, our work is done and this is the end of the road. And I couldn’t look at my email for the next six hours because I was scared like other –


KIM: -response. But with that said, I have a team who checks my email. So it was like, just let me know if there’s a response. But I personally didn’t want to be in there like is it here yet? Is it here yet? Is it here yet?


KIM: But this past weekend with the time that would have been spent working on that client’s work, I personally built out shop.thekimsutton.com we have a shop now. So you were talking about sales calls and I want to challenge you and anybody else who does do sales calls to think bigger because you can –


KIM: -get one new client or even create products that conserve money.


KIM: And then you know, just think about how you’re using your time even on that perspective. And I’m not trying to coach you, –

WOLF CASTILLO: –I hear what you’re saying,

KIM: -but that’s been a huge shift in my business from, well another shift. First, figuring out who I want to serve and then shifting from a one to one model and I thought for the longest time that my highest level service was going to be a one to one model and now I’m realizing that I want my highest level to be a one to few stay tuned people. There’s going to be a Positive Productivity like mastermind-

WOLF CASTILLO: –We’ll see right there.

KIM: Yeah. Mastermind where we meet a few times a year and I will never claim to be better than anybody else, but it’s, you know, using my experience and what I’ve learned to help other people take steps. I’m not even going to put figures onto it. Great. You may move into six speakers. Great. It might move into seven figures at this point. We still haven’t had a six figure a year, but we’ve been right. But there’s been those little hiccups that have kept us within like a couple hundred dollars but so it won’t be based on moving into your, you know, your first exposure year or your first seven figure year. No, but all I’m trying to say is do we really want to be trading our time, our dollars per hours, or is there a way that we could be trading our time, you know, converting our time into content, which then turns into cash and serves many people.


KIM: Yeah. Going back to Jenna Kutcher, I mean, I feed my brain constantly. It drives my husband crazy because I listened to podcast at 1.75 speed. When I’m in the kitchen or whatever, surrounded by family, I’ll slow it down just so I feel like if I don’t slow it down that I’m going to see all my kids moving at 1.75 speed –


KIM: -drive me. So I’ll slow it down. But when I saw it down to normal, it’s like, oh my gosh, would you just get to your point already? Because I’m used to [inaudible], I’m going back to my New York roots listening to these episodes. Right? But I digest and she was sharing how she set up a shop and just three years she went from making 50,000 a year I having over a $3 million business.


KIM: And it’s off the serving many or serving few and not necessarily the one to one like dang girl. So that’s what my team and I are working on. What are you working on and what is keeping you going? Like what’s your big goal for the next 90 day?

WOLF CASTILLO: So this I believe will naturally seed into it. You asked me earlier what was the whole thing with Wolf, and I think that this will help tie it all together. So part of the ideology that I am creating a sheriff’s title together. So I’d call on this full circle. I got to a place in my life where I was living that ideology of a life that other people had created for me. I had gotten all the good grades, I had done all the good things. I had gotten a car, I’d been a top state level champion athlete and all those different things. And then I got to a point where I was severely depressed. I was anxious all the time. I couldn’t even imagine planning out one day ahead other than just getting through that one single day. Truth be told, I getting to a point where it’s like, what’s the point? That type of place. I had this revolution occur where a lot of terrible things happened all at one time. But on the other end, I had this massive light that just shined on me, where I realized that I need something to change. I needed something to shift. And when I started creating this business originally, like I was doing everything under Jarrod, my birth name, and then I started to create the movement. And also now the business name is Follow the Wolf. It was supposed to be on an ideology of following the wolf’s journey, about creating from the true inner essence of who we are and being able to share and shine that light with others. What ended up happening was people started howling whenever, for example, I spoke on stage and people were howling and people started calling me Wolf. I decided that this was like this physical embodiment of me deciding who I was going to create myself to be. So in light of that, I got very present to what my real mission is in this world. The wording is becoming more and more clear every single day is to basically be the leader and to empower the next generation of young leaders. And that was tough for me to say a lot because anytime I had said that people were like, oh, parents don’t want you to coach their kids and how do we leaders? And I quite frankly don’t agree with that anymore because you’re either a leader or follower and sometimes the people and the things that you know our young people are listening to. And following the people, you know, they’re tied up in bad things or they’re listening to audio and video that isn’t supporting, are moving in the right direction of their reality. So I am stepping into this role as the leader of the next generation of leaders and teaching them the skills and the mindset necessary to create amazing results. Whether they want to be an amazing neurosurgeon or they want to be an entrepreneur and start their own business, it’s going to impact millions. I want to provide myself as a tool for their empowerment. What I’ve really been up to is I have created programs that are designed to do that and I am speaking, I’m actually leaving in two weeks. I will be traveling around the country for six months and my intention is to go and speak at many places as possible to connect with people, to be interviewing for the podcast that I’m going to be releasing sometime at the end of this year. The beginning of next year is also going to call Follow the Wolf, but it’s really about taking wherever they are. Generally speaking, I work with people who are like 14 to like 25 but I’ve had younger. For some reason parents are really wanting this at a younger age as well, but just taking them and empowering the crap out of them wherever they’re at and helping them live the best lives that they possibly can.

KIM: I absolutely love that and I had to say I have concerns for people who wouldn’t believe that teaching leadership to kids would be important because there are many times, I’m just going to put it out there that there are many times that we would love if our house was one of those children should be seen and not heard types of houses, –


KIM: -but that is not our house. I also don’t believe it should be. I mean the one who’s popular, he had a big stance on anti-bullying for the longest time and I –


KIM: -actually just had to have a conversation with them yesterday. I don’t know that anything’s happened. I have no reason to believe that anything has, but I told him, you know, you are in the popular click now and kids in this group or in any group we’ll do things that are not nice, but I want you to remember that, you know, in school shootings, a lot of the suspects were people who had been bullied.


KIM: And you have to think about the implications. That’s what the word I’m looking for of what you’re doing. Because you could be, I don’t want to say ruining somebody’s life forever. I mean, I was bullied as a child, a lot, same classmates and they didn’t ruin my life. But they definitely didn’t make it any better for those six years.


KIM: But I mean, look at Columbine bullied kids, they go and they shoot up the school and there’s other instances too. So just, I know you don’t want to lose those friends is what I told them. But there’s no reason why you can’t stand up to them and just remind them of school shootings and how their actions and their words can really impact not just the kid themselves, but the whole community.


KIM: And I don’t know if he was listening, full disclosure, I really need to get some more control over the smart phone usage here, but I hope he heard, I’ll actually have to ask him today. Did you hear what I was saying? But I, you know, we look at different cultures around the world. I’m, I’m gonna pick on Japanese for right now and maybe I, I could definitely be stereotyping, but I know, well, Asian culture in general, they push their kids to succeed in school. Doctors, lawyers, you know, go, go, go. And oftentimes it’s not necessarily the kid who gets to choose what they’re doing.


KIM: And I don’t think that’s the way to go either. In my 16 year old said he wanted to become an accountant because it would mean that he made money. I was like, that’s not a good enough reason for me. What do you really want to do? And he said –

WOLF CASTILLO: –Good for you.

KIM: Yeah, well I mean I’m 40 and I’m still paying off my student loans for a degree that I’m not even using.

WOLF CASTILLO: People listening – If you have kids, you know as long as kid, please pay attention.

KIM: Yeah. So why would I encourage my kids to go to school for a job just because they think is going to make money. So he wants to be a major league umpire. He’s been umping for five years in junior baseball and that’s what he wants to do. So I’m like, okay, now let’s find the hookup. How do we get you into this? And we’re exploring that. It would be a big help if he would do his chores so he could get his license, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Yeah. What are you finding are some key ways to get through to kids, and I know you’re younger than I am, but how do you connect with the kids and get them to listen?

WOLF CASTILLO: I am going to say something that is probably going to be difficult for a lot of parents to swallow and it is my firm belief that a lot of the reasons why I’m able to connect with our young people is outside of the obvious – I look like them so to speak and I’m younger, but I think that there’s just a certain amount of understanding, not only understanding. The word is not coming to me right now, but it’s about listening to where they’re wrapped because a lot of times a week and get stuck in with this parent child dynamic is that I’m the parent. You’re the child, you do as I say, and you do as I say at all times, there’s no rebuttal and I think that, in itself, can create a power struggle versus if we teach our kids very useful skills in life, which is learning negotiation skills, like one you have a goal as a parent, but then being able to teach them how to say, they do the dishes now versus saying, Hey, you can the dishes now or you can do it in 30 minutes after you finish playing your video game, you get to choose either way the dishes get done, but it makes the kid feel like that they have agency in their life, so they learned negotiation one, two they feel like they have agencies, they don’t feel as much resistance towards it, but beyond that, in terms of the actual communication, I think that for parents and people like you wanting to make that connection, it’s speak their language. Meaning for example you brought up earlier like, oh they do snapchat and all that. I don’t really do that. If that’s their preferred medium, I would learn snapchat. And I say this because I know a parent who was struggling with community grant where the child and all she wanted was to connect with him because now he’s moved out and she doesn’t see him and she loves him so much and she said, I was struggling so hard, but as soon as they learn snapchat, I started getting pictures from him. I start getting texts from him. I started connecting with my kid and as opposed to try and fight technology as it’s heading, we should just learn that that’s how it’s gonna be and how can I adapt to that because they’re telling us exactly what they want and they need and it’s whether or not we’re going to go and meet them where they’re at, learn to speak their language, be willing to take on something new that the you as a parent or anyone beyond you know, might be so to speak, uncomfortable, but we meet them where they’re rat relate to them. That’s the word I was looking for. Relate-Ability and just being able to have those conversations where yeah, sometimes I am the parent and what I say goes, but then sometimes just being able to have that almost like, and this isn’t a thing of the parents will struggle with, you know, if you’re a super hardcore, like I say, this is how it goes and nothing else, there’s no negotiation room is being able to have them almost be able to look them in our eyes and be like, hey look like I’m coming to you as a friend not your parent for a second what’s going on? Because the thing that I wished that I could’ve been able to do when I was depressed and when I truly had the worst outlook of my life was be able to honestly communicate and express to my parents how I felt so out of love with myself and I felt bullied and I was struggling with, you know, this variety laundry list of things I was struggling with and not feeling like this space would it have been held from my parents because they have certain expectations or requirements versus being able to just say, I’m with you where you’re at. Tell me what’s going on. I love you always and forever and that will never change, what’s up.

KIM: Oh I love that, it’s been challenging in math because my husband and I have same but different personalities and he is more than mindset that he’s always right when it comes to my kids, I like to think that I’m right, but they can be a struggle for us both sometimes just shut up and listen –


KIM: -and that’s what I want my kids to know is that they can tell me anything and I will listen and I hear a lot from my kids a lot like if their friends heard what or if their friends parents heard what I heard. They might not have some of the friends that they have because you know their parents might not let it happen. But they come to me and they look for guidance.


KIM: Then like to provide it. And then not saying that I’m perfect parent, I lose my temper.

WOLF CASTILLO: –We all do.

KIM: You [inaudible] softer side of Kim on the podcast but I can just like the rest of them. But it’s also been getting down and I don’t mean getting down in a bad way, but getting down to their level. I mean even, I know my husband’s a video game designer, we would have family game nights playing video games or now it’s not even so much game nights, but there are games that we played with each other in the hustle and bustle. Even for me, it can be hard to remember to take that time, but I’ve been working on saying no to business sometimes and not picking up my phone to respond to the text immediately when it comes in and remember that it’s family first. Well it’s God first for me, but family second, you know, and –


KIM: -clients and money come down the road.


KIM: Yeah.

WOLF CASTILLO: You spot on and you had something important. I think that the listening is so important and not listening to fix or to coach or [inaudible] sometime just listening and then asking them, how can I, you know, how can I help you? How can my service [inaudible] cause you have a very unique relationship with your kids and you’ve done something to cultivate it. Something that’s very powerful and I feel like to some degree, although you know, some parenting style is do as I say and whatever, and that’s how it goes. I think that ultimately at the core of it, parents want their kids to be happy, to be healthy, to be successful, and to be able to know that when they let them go out of the nest one day, that they will be able to step into their life and own it versus being dragged around so to speak on a leash.

KIM: Hmm Mm. This question could come out the wrong way, but do you think the children should fear their parents?

WOLF CASTILLO: Hmm. I guess it depends how you define fear?

KIM: I know that’s where I said it could come out the wrong way.

WOLF CASTILLO: Yeah, I would. I would say operational definition of fear. If you’re like, oh, I’d want them to flinch when I get close to them. Or is it fear like there’s like a healthy fear. So I would say operational definition. What would you say that means to you?

KIM: Yeah. I don’t know how to answer that question because I think there should be the recognition of consequences if I do this, this may happen, but I don’t think it necessarily needs to be fear.


KIM: Although I do want the children to be afraid of getting caught and maybe make better decisions and maybe not doing, maybe not do that thing that they would get caught doing that would –


KIM: You know, in Canada circumstances. But I know growing up I feared my parents –


KIM: -and it never felt healthy. I mean –


KIM: -there would be those heavy conversations and I’m just gonna put it out there, you know, totally honest here. And my first husband and I started dating in high school and I knew that the likelihood and I was right that they’re like they hit that we would engage in activities before married was going to come. So I knew, you know, I better have this conversation about birth control and I totally was scared to have that conversation with my parents.

WOLF CASTILLO: –Of course.

KIM: Now my kids are just my older boys. This is not something obviously that you discussed with foreign four year and a five year old, but for the older ones it’s just been known since they were like single digits. When you get a girlfriend someday, you know, well, okay, not single digits, but tween teen years come to us to get protection before you engage in anything you don’t, we’re not going to try to stop you just be protected and know that there will be consequences if you’re not protected or there could be both my husband and I got pregnant unexpectedly with our first spouses before married.


KIM: So we just want our kids to be aware. But so many times we hide those conversations than even, I know I’m older than you, but when I was growing up, parents didn’t talk about finances.


KIM: My parents never talked about finances with me and I think that is something that we shouldn’t be hiding with our kids or from our kids.


KIM: Do they need to know exactly how much money we’re making? No, but they should have an idea of what the budget is in the house and are we comfortable and they should also be taught to budget.


KIM: Yeah.


KIM: What is something that you wish that your parents had taught you that they didn’t?

WOLF CASTILLO: I am going to relate this back to what we were just talking about, which you brought up. Should parents be feared or is there a certain level of fear that should be there? My Dad’s philosophy, if I’m not ms seven which I believe is true, is my dad does believe that there should be some amount of fear. What I think I didn’t really learn very well, I think is important is I think that if there is this like very overwhelming sense of fear of persecution and judgment from our parents. If we do certain behaviors, I think what’s likely to occur is that communication and open openness and honesty. Then shut down because of my fear is that if I do x, Y, and z behavior, and if I’m going to get in trouble, that I’m probably, first of all, I’m probably gonna do it anyways either because I want to or because I’m rebellious. This is just kids. Look, if you don’t, if you don’t think your kids are up to crap that you don’t want them to do, you are naive. You are blind. You were completely live in a fantasy and you’re the ones who was especially should be worried because they are going to do the majority of the things that you tell them not to do is whether or not that they feel comfortable coming to you and saying, Hey, you know what? I made this mistake. For example, my sister got pregnant, love her to full discretion. She got pregnant at 17 you can’t hide that.

KIM: –Right.

WOLF CASTILLO: And she was so afraid to tell my parents, –

KIM: –Right.

WOLF CASTILLO: -in my opinion, you don’t want that energy of fear and everything affecting not only her and the person involved, but also the kid –

KIM: –Uh Huh.

WOLF CASTILLO: -versus having the full knowing confidence that you know what? That there’s gonna be repercussions for my actions and I need to have this conversation. My parents, I know that no matter what they’re gonna love, they’re gonna love and accept me with open arms. Because would you rather your kid hide and go behind your back and do all those things and potentially in get involved in even more risky behavior because you want them to be afraid of you or would you rather them be able to know no matter what, that you can have open, loving, trusting communication no matter what, no matter what. And then you’ll deal with the repercussions.

KIM: Absolutely. So when I was growing up, my parents divorced when I was young and my mom would stop movies or change the TV station or just shut it off when there were kissing scenes or anything sexual.


KIM: I didn’t know. And I am so embarrassed to say this, I don’t think I knew about how babies were actually created until I took health class, which would be like late middle school or even early high school. I am so embarrassed to admit that. But you know, it just wasn’t there. And the parents –

WOLF CASTILLO: –I didn’t ever know for me, actually no, it might’ve been the headache class on in fifth grade. So maybe that was what I knew

KIM: In my school. We didn’t have the class in fifth grade. We just didn’t. I might have actually learned earlier. No, I know I didn’t or I might have learned about it out of like a teen magazine or something, you know, but it definitely wasn’t from my mom, so it was never visible on the flip side, and I can’t say that my dad or stepmom ever, you know, sat down and had the conversation. But I’ll tell you why. Why didn’t start engaging in sexual activity earlier? I had seen ABC after school special, which I don’t even know if they still do these days. And it was about a girl who got pregnant. She went and had an abortion somewhere, like not a real doctor, and she ended up –


KIM: -dying.


KIM: That’s scared me enough to realize, oh my gosh, now, I just need to put this out there. Sorry Wolf not asking anybody’s opinions. I am anti-abortion. So that was just never even a question for me.


KIM: But I didn’t want to be in that circumstance in any case, you know, –


KIM: -but it was just never brought up. And I will also disclose because I was always told not to do these things. Those were exactly like you said, those were those things that I was doing. I mean I was told that I would be grounded if I did not make high honor roll and I was, I was grounded if I didn’t not make high honor roll, but when I wasn’t studying, I was smoking cigarettes or pot with my friends, –


KIM: -because I had so much stress and pressure on the school side and to be perfect and always keep my mouth shut. But that’s what I was doing. I’m not saying that all my parents made me feel that way. If any of them are listening, you know who you are and I’m not trying to make things uncomfortable here, but I think for that side of the family just could have been different. You know, there could have been more communication. I think we always have to remember that even as parents we are not always right and we as parents need to remember that. We can say sorry too.

WOLF CASTILLO: –Of course.

KIM: Yup.

WOLF CASTILLO: You spot on. And just for a qualitative factors, cause who knows, maybe one day my parents will hear this, I want it to be known that my parents had an absolutely phenomenal job raising me and that I learned so much. And that I think as you pointed out, I think that there’s always, you know, as a part of like evolution or growth so to speak, we see something and say, you know, are going away. Our parents did things and then we so to speak, have the choice to continue doing that or to say that, you know what, I would do this a little differently and I will not be the first to say that I’m super knowledgeable and scripture. But if I do remember correctly that there was something in the Bible relating to God created heavens and the earth created Adam and Eve and he said don’t touch this forbidden fruit or something to that extent. And if you’re a part of me wonders like, you know, don’t touch the red button and like you know, to some extent it creates this wondering as curiosity, which then leads to these behaviors as opposed, you know, I think it’s, again, it’s all about fear. It’s all about the scared be afraid because if you do this you’ll be punished versus what I think is more valuable as education. Because if you think that telling kids bad shame for having sex, guess what, they’re probably going to want to have it more –

KIM: –Yup.

WOLF CASTILLO: -and there’ll probably be more likely to do it versus saying, hey, you’re probably going to do this. Like statistics show us. It’s very likely that you are going to engage in sexual behavior before the age of 18,21 whatever the numbers are. I’m sure they’re ridiculous now –

KIM: –Uh Huh.

WOLF CASTILLO: -and it, here’s what you should know. There are, you know, x, Y and z about sexually transmitted diseases and this is how it works and here and here are contraceptive methods. And if you were thinking about it, we just want you to be safe. We want you to be taken care of. And just being communication. If you know you’re going to be doing that, just talk with somebody. We want to make sure that you know something doesn’t occur that you don’t want to occur and we just want you to know we’re here for you with open arms versus you’ll be put on the chopping block, which then leads to hiding, which you know, doesn’t help.

KIM: Absolutely. I mean this is so inappropriate, but I remember, you know the College Health Center office, you can hear in the background what happens when you have sex, but college health services office, they had a bull out on the front counter full of condoms.

WOLF CASTILLO: –Yeah still the same today.

KIM: Yeah. So why should we not have apolo condoms underneath the bathroom sink when we have teenagers and –


KIM: -you know, why not just let the kids know that you understand it’s gonna happen because you’re totally right. I mean our nieces, two of them made a chastity promise. Is chastity the right word? I don’t know.

WOLF CASTILLO: — chastity?

KIM: Basically that they weren’t going to have sex until married.

WOLF CASTILLO: Oh, chastity promise.

KIM: I’m not sure if chastity is the right word, I know the right word I’m looking for but is escaping me brain for, I tell the both of those girls got pregnant at like 15,16,17 somewhere in there. And I remember as a little girl, my mom told me, don’t touch it. Pan Is hot. And I touched it and I got burned. So you see this pan here, if you touch it, I just want you to know that you’re going to get burned in. It’s gonna hurt. So there, there will be consequences. Right? So don’t tempt me because, oh my gosh. Yeah. You told me not to push the red button. I’m just gonna be stare in at it.

WOLF CASTILLO: Oh yeah. Especially our rebellious people.

KIM: Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

WOLF CASTILLO: Yes. No wonder why, you know, and then the people who don’t go into their abilities behavior because they are fear full. Then they go to college and it’s just like all hell. So to speak has broken loose like, oh wait a second, I don’t have all of these barriers and all of these different restrictions that I had before. It’s time to completely let loose. And then you just like unleash this beast versus again, I think it always comes back to education. If we educate and hold space in love and truth and honesty, I am willing to bet my everything I was going to say, I’m not sure, but I’m willing to bet my everything that we would have instead of having a fear based culture and one that Shane’s sex and things like that, which are totally natural, you just biologically natural to our being is just educating and saying, hey look, here’s what it’s going to be. You’re gonna want to touch that hot stove. And if you do touch the hot stove here, the repercussions and if you do it touch a hot stove, get burned. I’m here for you, I love you and please be okay with coming to me and talk to me about it versus you know, doing a coat hanger abortion or doing something like that.

KIM: Absolutely. And let’s just look at America versus like European nations where the drinking age is different. Do they have as much many issues with, well, I mean there is the issue of underage drinking and the pain that comes out of it. Even as much of a problem over there since it’s not illegal, you know, –


KIM: -because they’re not, they’re not necessarily saying even government wise. No, the drinking age is 21 so yeah. Well I’m excited to hear what you’re doing over the next six months. That sounds so just amazing. If you wind up in Ohio, let me know. You can come meet my crew, but we’re, –


KIM: -yes.

WOLF CASTILLO: –I will put that down.

KIM: In my area. There’s a lot of cornfields so there’s not much else, but just let me know. But where can listeners find you online connect and get to know more about you and the work that you do?

WOLF CASTILLO: Yes, so the easiest way to get connected, especially if you just wanted to strike conversation and things like that will be on Facebook, linked in, Instagram and thought to drop the youtube channels was going to be a thing and the podcast will be coming out. Like I said, you know towards the end of the year, beginning of next year, but if you’re wanting those links instead of giving you a bunch of different locations in the show notes, there will be a link that is one link and you click on it and it basically gives you the link to each of one of those profiles, whether it’s Instagram, linked in, or whatever. If you want to follow on Instagram, you follow the wolf on Instagram. If you want to fall on Linked in, you follow us on Linked in. It’s a whole thing. It’s pretty cool.

KIM: You know we talked about that before and I completely forgot about that. So listeners in the show notes, which will be able to find at thekimsutton.com/pp585 you’ll be able to find Wolf’s lake tree link, which as he said, if you click on it, you’ll be able to see all of links, which is just, you’re the first one of our guests to do that and that makes it so easy –

WOLF CASTILLO: –It is awesome, I’m so excited.

KIM: Yes, absolutely. I want to thank you again for coming on today. You’ve given me a lot to think about and even just you know I can talk a lot but you, I mean even just our discussion today made me, gave me the Ahas including what I could’ve been doing with those 80 to 120 hours of time. I had never thought about it until after the words came out of my mouth –


KIM: -and then funny,

WOLF CASTILLO: –that works.

KIM: Yeah. Do you have a parting piece of advice or a golden nugget that you can share with listeners?

WOLF CASTILLO: I love this question. When it does come up because every single time I try to come up with something different because someone to knock get into the redundancy pattern.

KIM: Thank you.

WOLF CASTILLO: Yeah, I can get a little boring.

KIM: –Hmm Mm.

WOLF CASTILLO: Let’s see. I want to generate something. Truth be told, something that I have been trying to implement a brother I am implementing, removing, trying my words. I am constantly implementing in my life and taking it to the next level is once I have some kind of vision or goal, whatever that is improved my health, which is very vague, but improve my health or increase finances or whatever it is, is to take that goal into put it into existence, meaning speak to people posted on Instagram, tell your family, tell your friends because it starts to create this enrollment in this, it starts to become very real in your physical reality and then the major piece is whatever it is, rely on your community. It doesn’t matter what it is. If you want to improve your health, find one, two or three workout buddies. Find a mentor. Find people who are going to hold you accountable when you yourself can hold yourself accountable because we all get to those difficult positions, whether it’s in our health earner finances or we lose somebody who we love a lot or we are depressed. I know that one personally very well, relay on community. Be Okay with saying, I am hurting, I am struggling. I need support because you will be surprised what happens when we elevate ourselves from this like funny thing, individualistic society and culture. We’ve been raised into a level of community and collective growth that we can truly provide in an immeasurable amount of value to ourselves and to others.

KIM: Thank you for tuning into this episode of the positive productivity podcast. When I’m not podcasting, I’m supporting six to seven figure business coaches with their marketing automation and entrepreneurs like you through my coaching and mastermind programs, I want to invite you to visit  at thekimsutton.com to learn how I can help you take your business to the next level.