PP 625: Determination Versus Procrastination with Melinda Broadstone
“Pay attention to your breath. Pay attention to your body and it’s sensations. Re-connect. And you’ll have a huge shift just from that.” – Melinda Broadstone
At twelve years old, while undergoing a pre-teen crisis, Melinda decided her role in this lifetime was to be the best person she could be. Through her career in Occupational Therapy and with indigenous healing, Melinda realized a desire to help people out of physical pain as well as helping them create the life they wanted to live.
Listen as Melinda and Kim Sutton share an enlightening conversation about boundaries, value, breathing, the mind-body connection and more. As an added bonus, Melinda walks us through an enhancing your boundaries exercise!
05:54 Being a sponge
09:25 Time, energy, focus, determination and procrastination
13:10 Occupational therapy
16:25 Becoming more selective
21:45 Awareness of the connection between our mind and our energy
22:52 Enhancing your boundaries
27:37 Feeling it in yourself
31:53 The body-mind connection and hormones
44:43 Our Catch 22
Resources – Melinda Broadstone:
Melinda’s Chapter: The Hardest Decisions are Often the Best Decisions – melindabroadstoneauthor.com
“When you become clear and you’re not trying to do everything all the time, it’s a lot easier to cut all that extra nonsense out, including all the health nonsense.” -Kim Sutton
“The value is in feeling it in yourself.” – Melinda Broadstone
“If you don’t think it’s a possibility, you’re not even going to try and there’s always a bit of hopeless feeling.” – Melinda Broadstone
“A seed doesn’t ever question or have any resistance about turning into a plant that then has a bud that then turns into a flower or a piece of fruit. It just responds to what it’s supposed to respond to.” – Melinda Broadstone
“Pay attention to your breath. Pay attention to your body and it’s sensations. Re-connect. And you’ll have a huge shift just from that.” – Melinda Broadstone
About Melinda Broadstone:
Melinda Broadstone is a Performance and Success Strategist who, through personal experience, education and career experience has diven deep into the mind-body connection. Melinda is on a mission to help people transition out of pain, whether it be emotional or physical.
EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION – MELINDA BROADSTONE:
Kim Sutton: Welcome back to another episode of Positive Productivity. This is your host Kim Sutton, and I’m thrilled to introduce you to our guest today, Melinda Broadstone.
Melinda is a performance and success strategist who has had an interesting career of entrepreneurship but who hasn’t, right, Melinda?
Melinda Broadstone: That’s absolutely true.
Kim Sutton: And I am loving (?). So before I continue rambling, which, sorry, Melinda, I know I rambled during our pre chat, I’m going to throw it over to you and would you mind introducing yourself to our listeners and telling them a little bit about what your journey has looked like and what you do today?
Melinda Broadstone: Sure.
Well, I’ll tell you just I’ll try and shorten this up real brief. But at 12 years of age, I was having a crisis and my girlfriend and I decided that the thing that we were on the planet to do was just to be the best people that we could be. And now how that came out of a 12 year old? I don’t know. But…
Kim Sutton: Yeah, that blows me away. I wish it would be a revelation with my kids. “How about I am going to be the best person I can be instead of, I’m going to see how I can annoy mom, dad and myself.“
Melinda Broadstone: Well, I’m sure I did plenty of that.
Kim Sutton: I know I did.
Melinda Broadstone: Yeah. But it did. It did provide like a benchmark. Like somehow in my subconscious, it was always there. And, and so these amazing opportunities would come to me. And sometimes, you know, not not easily but but amazing opportunities.
Melinda Broadstone: And so after a period of trying to figure out what I was going to do, With my life, I liked the art so much in science so much, and I liked working with people, I went into occupational therapy. And during that time, I, you know, I had every, every client was different, every patient was different and very complex problems. I had to become an expert at problem solving and coming up with real solutions that worked and applying it to people’s lives and how is this gonna? What is this going to mean for them? And, you know, that was valuable training.
Melinda Broadstone: I learned so much about the body, so much about the mind and so much about what drives people and how people how some people can can really perform well and other people have so many obstacles and how to deal with those obstacles.
So, during that journey, I… like my patients taught me so much because I had to constantly learn new things to meet their needs. And I did a lot of alternative and complimentary medicine kinds of training. And so some of that was hands on modalities of various types. But then I, I was gradually introduced to a number of lineage holders for some indigenous healing.
Melinda Broadstone: And so through that period, I just, you know, I was just like a sponge, I was grabbing everything I could and trying it on myself and integrating it and becoming a better person and seeing how that plays out in life and then helping other people use those same principles and using some of the healing practices. And that led me to want to really help people out of not just their physical pain, but the pain of not having the kind of life that they want or not having the kind of business they want because they struggle with something inside of them that keeps them playing a little bit on the small side and holding back and avoiding procrastinating a lot of the different things that are representative of somebody who who’s got. We all have it.
Kim Sutton: Well, I was gonna say, I don’t know anything about that.
Not at all.
Melinda Broadstone: Well guess why I had to learn about it.
Kim Sutton: Well, isn’t it said that we teach or we write about the thing that we most need ourselves?
Melinda Broadstone: Yeah. And I think that’s because we’re kind of forced in a way unless you want to, you know, dig yourself into a hole in that show up at all, to really learn a lot about it so you can overcome it. Absolutely.
Kim Sutton: Can I back up just one second? I’m curious about one thing. When you said you were a sponge, are you still a sponge because I have (?).
Melinda Broadstone: I am. But I’ll tell you a little story, please.
My first… In my first job, I was working in mental health and occupational therapy and and I had a great team that I was working with. We all got hired at the same time because we were starting a program together for people that were transitioning from a psychiatric Institute into the community. And at team meetings, they would say, “Okay, Mindy Molecule, what do you have to say about this?“
Melinda Broadstone: And the first time somebody said that my jaw just kind of dropped and I had this puzzled look on my face, and I was like, “What are they talking about?“
Melinda Broadstone: And that combined with having this realization, when I, I asked a friend of mine what all these feelings were that I was having? And they said, Oh, you just had anxiety. So when I finally realized I put those two together and said, Oh, anxiety, not in my body get it.
Melinda Broadstone: So I went on this big long journey of being a sponge but then also learning how to become a container for myself a container of my energy and be in that container and have some decent boundaries. So while I’m still a sponge, I’m a selective sponge.
Kim Sutton: I absolutely love that. And I remind me of a question but I already told you I’ll often have 16 questions so very well made forget that one by the time I get to it.
But I have noticed that with many of my clients, they are sponges or they are want to be sponges. They will purchase program after program after program or course after course after course thinking that this is the golden ticket to take their business to the next level. But then they never do anything with it. And I’ve seen the same in my own life.
Kim Sutton: I mean I have purchased stained glass making kits, thinking that’s the next hobby I want to start. And two years later I find this big box of glass, the lead smelter thing… I never used any of it. I realized at the time…
Full disclosure: At the time when I thought that I wanted to do stained glass, I was living in a small, one bedroom apartment in outside of New York City with a newborn baby… Not conducive to doing stained glass with no proper ventilation.
Didn’t think about that when (?) okay, but you know…
Melinda Broadstone: I love how you boundaries in a container sometimes we just needed to get clear on is this really right for right now? And am I… am I gonna be able to see this through to completion if I started?
Melinda Broadstone: Yes, you know, the interesting thing about the brain and the nervous system is that it loves novelty and so we’re attracted to novelty. So when something, even if it’s the same as something they’ve seen over and over again, if it’s packaged differently in terms of, you know, how it looks, how it sounds, you know, the words that they use just a quick turn of a phrase, and a pretty picture can make it look brand new, and really excite the brain.
Melinda Broadstone: And so that’s, that’s what gets us reaching for the credit card, but, you know, projects, no matter what it is, whether it’s stained glass or it’s starting a new part of your business, or, you know, starting to leverage your business, whatever that is, it takes on finding…
Melinda Broadstone: It takes a tremendous amount of time, energy, focus and determination to just see it through. And once the glamour of the first initial, Oh, I got this new thing. And this is so exciting. And this is going to help me.
Melinda Broadstone: Then also what happens is, oh, yeah, it works for everybody else, but it’s not going to work for me, or I don’t know if I should even be trying this. And so a lot of self doubt will kick in. And because a lot of these choices, there’s, you know, there’s fear of performance, you know, am I going to be able to produce, am I going to be able to take this to a conclusion? Am I going to be successful?
Melinda Broadstone: There’s all these things that arise. So anytime a little bit of fear pops up, then you know, so the mind triggers the fear and then the fear triggers the body and so then the nervous system goes into Let’s protect her. So we’ll just procrastinate and she won’t have to do it and then, you know, then she doesn’t have anything to be fearful of.
(Transcription still being cleaned up. Thanks for checking it out!)
You have me over here cracking up at myself. First off, I am looking across my office and my stationary recumbent bike is staring back at me. And it’s full disclosure people. It’s not holding my clothes. My 16 year old is putting his clothes on there because he doesn’t want to put them away. That will be taken care of as soon as we are done with this call, but if I were using it the way I intended to when it was a novelty, those clothes wouldn’t be on there. And then Okay, now you can see which track I’m going down. But I just got a notification yesterday that I’m not an affiliate, there will not be a link in the show notes for this but my Beachbody online membership was about to expire. And then it occurred to me When did I sign up for that? Because I’ve never I’ve never logged in. Then I remembered Oh, yeah, when I was in that hotel last year, feeling like the picture that they had just taken care of me at that conference was really horrible and then the Beachbody Come on. came on I was like I should sign up for that. Yeah, Kim needs to go on a 24 hour wait until purchasing just make a notebook and decide if I really wanted after that.
Hmm I’ve gone to events before where I’m like somebody put handcuffs on me.
Yeah, yep, I’m actually I’m, it’s not so much in the actual event that I purchased I’m really good about not purchasing in the event. It’s just when I’m in my room. My house always has so much going on in it that I when I go away for conferences, I sleep with the lights on and usually the TV on low and it’s those middle of the night or okay when I go from Eastern timezone to Pacific timezone and wake up at four o’clock in the morning and it’s whatever they’re selling. That’s dangerous and I don’t have cable at home, so I don’t see these things at home.
Okay for my best friend in high school.
went to school for Occupational Therapy and was an occupational therapist for years. And I didn’t realize what she was until I investigated it more. Can you explain to listeners who don’t know what occupational therapy is?
Sure. Occupational Therapy is the practice of helping people regain their functionality through purpose if it’s been lost through disease or an accident or injury. So sometimes it might require while giving an example somebody who’s had a stroke, and their dominant arm is affected, and it’s paralyzed, they have to learn how to eat they need to learn how to zip their pants, get dressed, get in and out of the shower, just with that left side working because the right side is no longer functional and Meanwhile, we try to work on the side that’s been affected by the stroke and get some return. But at the same time, we have to teach them how are you going to get along between now and the time that that function returns on that other side, if it returns, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it doesn’t. in varying degrees as well. So that’s one example I worked with in pediatrics for a long time, and with children with disabilities. So starting with infants, we did a lot of positioning so that they could get their hands in view and get toys to their mouth so they can engage in the typical exploration that leads to learning. So it’s, it’s what I liked about the field was that there were endless opportunities to learn. Because I could work with any age group, you know, and I specialized in kids for 19 years and then I moved on to working with adults. And it’s just fascinating. To see each stage of development and what’s important to people at those times, then how to get them back into doing the things that they most love, whether it’s golfing or ice skating or back to driving a car, whatever it is,
have you seen any type of parallel journey in your entrepreneurial journey?
And I can expand on it on my word. Because when I started my business, it was all about the money as it evolved, it’s about pursuing my purpose and following my passion and doing what I love and actually being successful at it.
Yes, I do think there’s a developmental process for probably everything that we do. You know, humans have developmental processes, animals have a developmental process plants do and so forth. It’s part of the built in tree of life, so to speak, and so easily project I think has a developmental process. And and yes, I think you know, if money is an issue then that’s probably where the priority is going to start. You know, if you have loads of income from or you know, independently wealthy and you’re just doing this for kicks, then you’re probably going to go right to the purpose.
I’m mixed on that. Because and, and but I can see how it could be easier to do. But I realized from my own journey was that I was still really financially struggling. Well, this is also partially me, so maybe I’m not mixed. But when I was financially struggling, I was also saying yes to every opportunity, which came my way. So I guess it does go together with what you just said. Because, okay, I revert and I’m not trying to be a, you know, there’s a word for it. And I just had a conversation about it, but I forgot it. So part of the brain fart, I suppose you really are right, because when I, when I started saying no to things that I really didn’t want to work on because I realized that my heart wasn’t in it. the right opportunities seemed to present themselves a lot more. Or maybe I was just more aware of them because I was saying no to the other things. And because I was doing better work and more passionate about my work. The money started turning around better, or as well, I mean, the clients could see it be they love the work more. They were referring morning I’ll just became a much easier process. I feel like I just rambled my way through that, but I hope it made sense.
No, you did a great job.
I love that piece about becoming more selective.
I think in my perspective, part of that process was an awareness piece, which is a very important part because the mind and the body work together, you know, so there you are, if you’re going off in 10,000 directions, then the body is going to go off in 10,000 directions and you’re going to be scattered and not very grounded and
and a little bit
you know, nervous system agitated, that kind of thing tend to get exhausted. And as you narrow in you focus, and you hone your awareness on those things, excuse me that are most important to you. That you are willing you you are willing to let go of all those other things that are you know, they’re nice things but they’re not quite yet. And making that flow narrower and narrower so that you can really hone in and then everything starts to line up inside. So you know, there’s less scattered pneus to your nervous system when there’s less scattered stuff going on in your mind and so everything starts to calm down and you start feeding that passion by being more narrow. And by feeding the passion then it and having that alignment then your creativity just really blossoms.
Wow, you just sum me up in a nutshell. Cool.
Listeners in 2018 I was at the hospital four times.
All for to the ER, initially and then one time even admitted to the hospital because he thought I was having a heart attack. I only turned 40 this year. So I was 39 then I did not have a heart attack, but I was showing all the classic symptoms.
Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that was cool at all.
Oh, no. I think it’s cool because I hope I hope listeners can see see exactly what you were just saying when I share this. And so, so that happened and then later in the year, like major kidney infection I’ve never had, I had, I had never had a kidney infection before that, and I haven’t had one since. But this year, and oh, in that year 2018 I was so scattered all over the place wasn’t I wasn’t finishing any of my personal projects. And I was still saying yes to too much. This year. has been a tremendous year 2019 for listeners who don’t, or who are listening well into the future, but I’ve been saying no, I’ve been my boundaries have been getting stronger with every minute I just got to be it’s still a learning process when you don’t have any. It’s gonna take a little while to build an effective wall to say and but I have not had to go to the doctor for health related issues at all and we’re three quarters of the year it through as of the time of this record. hoarding it. I feel like it’s just my mindsets, right. And I’m not trying to be everything to everyone. I’m sleeping. I’m taking care of myself.
I also sort of decreased my coffee consumption.
That’s more water.
But yeah. When you become clear, and you’re not trying to do everything all the time, it’s a lot easier to just cut all the all that extra nonsense out, including the health mountain. So it’s not the word I was going to use, but in the interest of children who may be listening, it starts with a C and to the P. Yep. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, thank you for sharing that. And because it’s so important for us to have that awareness of the connection between what’s going on in our mind and what’s going on in our energy and how that translate to what’s going on physically, whether it’s physically in the business Physically in your body, because sometimes the business will fail because of it, and your body will be spared. But oftentimes, you’ll physically have symptoms and things pop up. As a result of that. Hey there, my friend, I hope you’re
enjoying this episode of the positive productivity podcast. I wanted to take a quick moment to invite you to join the work smarter, not harder challenge over the course of 30 days these free Yes, free short videos will teach you a few of the systems and strategies I set up in my business so I can get away from my computer and back to the people I love.
I invite you to sign up now at work smarter, not harder. challenge.com. Again, you can sign up at work smarter, not harder. challenge.com
since you brought up boundaries, I was wondering if you would like to have a little experiment on how to answer handshape boundaries from an energetic standpoint,
I would absolutely love that.
Alrighty, so, your viewing audience or your listening audience can jump right in if they feel comfortable doing this or they can just listen and kind of mull it over and try it another time. It’s totally non harmless, but it’s it is an awareness practice. You can add in breathing at a later date, but that’s, you know, we’re just going to stick with real simple. So real simple is we’re going to first pay attention to our feet. And by that I mean you just take all of your attention so that you are aware of the sensations of your feet. Anytime you refocus your attention from your thoughts, the people around you, things going on around you, you know, your projects, whatever and you refocus it on a sensation you’re building back in That connection between the mind and the body. And as that is that balance of mind body that actually puts us in the highest creative state so that we can really use those things for our business and our personal life and really soar and be creative. And that’s just one of the benefits. So pay attention to your feet and just notice if you have shoes or socks on notice that sensation, or feel the hardness or the softness of the surface under your feet. And just be aware of that. And then we’re going to take our attention up to the knees and just notice both knees. So you should have like a spatial awareness of left knee and right knee. And some people have more sensation than others and it’s just fine. Some people
you know, we’re a culture that we
we blend out so much sensation, but then we jazz ourselves up with artificial stuff. So we’re not a lot of us aren’t used to feeling the sensations in our body. So if you don’t feel much, that’s okay. Just try and have an awareness of where your knees are. And then bring your attention up to your hips. So you’re both in both hip joints and the hip, the hip joint, I mean, where the top of the leg bone goes into the pelvis, that’s your hip. That’s the hip joint and just notice that area. And then we’re going to move that attention. We’re going to jump join the left and the right hip and we’re going to go right up into the pelvic area. So we’re going to be a little bit below the navel and back behind so that you’re like halfway between the front and the back of the body so that you’re right in the center of that space. Now this is a space that we typically don’t focus on. And it might you might feel a little bit lost. It’s like okay, where do I find a spot to rest my attention? And that’s okay just play with it and see if you can find an area. Whether it’s the size of a tennis ball or you know, a size of an Oreo, I don’t know where even pinpoint but just rest your spot your attention in that spot. And the act of stealing your attention in one spot, amplifies and focuses the energy and it awakens that part of your body. And the interesting thing about it, just keep your attention there as I talk that part of your body is responsible for your feeling of boundaries of self worth.
And of financial worth.
And it wasn’t until I started doing this practice in a lot of detail that all of a sudden it shifted. And, you know, my mentors had been saying to me for years that why don’t you believe when we tell you the value that you can bring people what we don’t understand. And it wasn’t until I really worked in this area of my body that I realized how valuable it was. For field feeling. The value is in feeling in yourself. People can tell you over and over again, what your value is. But you can sit there and go okay, but I don’t get it. I it doesn’t resonate. I don’t feel it. I don’t feel that value. And it’s not until you feel it in your body because your body is the feeler. The body is what feels Feels temperature textures. It feels when it’s wanted, when it’s not wanted and so forth. And all the different emotions, but even the tactile sensations. And when you think about a women, you know, that’s where we house the baby until the baby’s born. And that’s a huge value piece right there. It’s the source of life right there. So it’s where nothing becomes the baby. So there’s this whole manifestation thing of materialism. And our value is literally felt in our material body. So when you work with that space, you can start creating better boundaries. And suddenly all of a sudden, you feel fine with asking for more money for what you do because you finally realize how brilliant you are, you know, and how many I’ve had all this training all these years, they always experienced that. I bear all this excess and finally feeling
I was laughing when you were talking about pinpointing that point right there. Yeah, this is a lame excuse people, because I know there are there are people who have twins and go out and get, you know, size two bodies again immediately after I was not that person. Okay, I was not am not that person that’s like, Oh, well, I have a big Bullseye that I can do I get brownie points for that. But there’s something I realized late and somebody said to me, okay, I turned 40 this year. And somebody said there’s a little
they’ve noticed that women when they turn 40
they don’t know if it’s hormones or what it’s sort of like the Don’t mess with me hormones starts to kick in a little bit more, and there’s a little bit more competence that comes in. And whether or not that’s true for everybody. Which I know it’s not. But it’s definitely been true for me this year. Like, I’m not putting up with it anymore. Hmm.
Well, the interesting thing.
I had to have a hysterectomy early on back in 2005. And I, my system totally crashed from that. And so I ended up seeing a doctor who, who’s into thyroid and female hormone hormones in general good. He’s a guy but he, he had to learn how to medicate himself for the similar problem. And he explained to me that people who have a hard time making a decision and have a harder time, just verbally saying no, a lot of it is related to the relationship between estrogen and testosterone. And that the ratio is just too low on the testosterone side. So I’m thinking what’s happening is that as we get older estrogen level goes down, which is a known fact. And if the testosterone stays about the same, then suddenly, we’ve got a little bit more oomph to push back and say Heck no.
Now I’d be curious, just because you mentioned thyroid, I would be curious if thyroid has anything to do with it, too. I’m just throwing this out there because I’ve been hypothyroid. I’ve had
I’ve had a hypo active thyroid since birth. Mm hmm.
And I, I’m not saying I’m not a doctor and biology was by far, not my best subject I passed because
I had to. Yes, please, listeners know that we’re not MDS.
But there is some practical wisdom here as well. So take it at that and then advise your physician but but the the hormones, you know, it’s that body mind connection and so the hormones are very much affected by what we think And what we feel, and vice versa, our hormone lever levels affect how we feel what we think, and how much power we feel like we have. And it does. It shifts and just like our moods shift from day to day, it’s a reflection of the hormonal shifts. But what we were trying to do here was to
take, take, take control, in a sense, but in a good way.
Take command, let’s say command. It’s like getting behind the wheel of a car. And suddenly you’re the driver, you know, and there’s this massive control with being able to move this huge heavy machinery around with just, you know, with one hand and so with our awareness with your focus, you can begin to send different signals in your body. So when you At attention inside, especially in the pelvis. And then to really build that boundary, what I would have you do is to extend out and energetic hand and smooth out the entire edge of the inner bowl of that pelvis, filling in any tears, any, you know, any ripples and just smooth it out, fill it out and just really see yourself contained within that space. And there’s other steps to the process, but that’s the beginning step of it. And if you just work with that a little bit, I think you’ll find that your boundaries naturally shift and that people, subconsciously they recognize that you’re a container and you can’t be pushed around so much. I love them. Mm hmm. Now,
I just am curious when you were growing up and I mean, under 18 living at home What was the medical ideology? I don’t know if that’s the right word in your home. And I can let me growing up with my mom. Advil was the cure for everything sort of like in My Big Fat Greek Wedding Windex,
yeah, secure for everything.
Advil was the cure for everything. And these days, even if I have a headache, I will close my eyes and breathe. And often I realized it’s stress. I just need to take a couple minutes calm down. And I’m not saying that breathing in these bed is always stress at all. Again, not an MD by far. But it had had I brought that same ideology into my home. I would have been popping over open the
ibuprofen jar every two seconds. Exactly. Well, you know, it’s interesting.
My mother when she had me, she had massive, massive doses of whatever they gave at that time chloroform or whatever to knock her out. In fact they even asked her about it because since I was born on Thanksgiving Day I was like Gee, I wonder how that when the doctor was probably watching football was probably ticked off
being interrupted a football Thanksgiving Day. And she said, Oh honey, I didn’t want to feel any pain I got knocked out.
And, and it was the same thing with food source. You know, it was like, it was a time when canned foods became really popular and it was like a new sense of freedom for women that they didn’t have to spend all this time doing all this prep. all they had to do is open a can and throw it in a in a pot and heat it up. So and my dad he had tons of complications from He was in World War Two, and he got blown up by a bomb that hit nearby and, and he was literally in a cast for two years and had lots of repercussions for that. So most of my life, you know, at least twice a year, he was in the hospital for a few weeks at a time and, and he was he was almost always in pain. And so he popped a lot of medication. And so it was a time for me of really seeing how separated we were from the natural course of things, and how to how to implement command over something that we actually do have more command over then what culture you know, lets us believe so. So I think what happened for me was that I was diagnosed with a pre alternative condition in my 20s. And they wanted to put me on like medication permanently. And I just was like, I couldn’t see it. I was like, Well, what why is it there? And they were like, well, we don’t know exactly, probably stress. And I was like, well, what’s the solution to that? Well just take these pills. It’ll be okay. So, I’m not trying to put down the medical community because they, you know, our education system as it takes some responsibility too. And they, you know, they’ve been trained in a certain way. But what I found on my own was that that’s when I started learning all these different methods of self control over the body to regulate the nervous system through the breath, and to regulate digestion through the breath, and to work with my own body and I got off the medication and that’s happened with a number of things. Things that I was diagnosed with that they wanted to put me on medication because that was that’s what they’re trained in. And I was like, Okay, I will enter like, you know, I’m going to wean myself, I’m going to do these other things. And I’m going to figure out a way to kick this. And so far, I’ve been lucky, I’ve been able to do that naturally.
I love that you said that. And listeners who have heard this before, forgive me, you know, I repeat things sometimes. But in 2008, I was admitted to the mental hospital because I was suicidal. And upon being admitted they did a blood test. Full disclosure, if you haven’t already heard the story. I had my first business then I was working a full time job as an interior designer. And then I was running my business every night staying up till three or four in the morning and then getting back up at five or six to get to work. So I was majorly sleep deprived. I also wasn’t taking my thyroid medicine. So when I was admitted, I don’t I don’t need to say it again. I’m not an MD, but I’ll say it again I just did in TSH. 34. One or the other is supposed to be between point one and point two, I think and mine was 168. So, and they didn’t even ask about sleep. What they did was they put me on three different antidepressants. heavy dose in a depressant and anti anxiety medication, which basically numbed my brain. I mean, I couldn’t, I could barely function I’m, I’m, I was a designer, and I couldn’t see anything creative because when I would look at paper, I would see what and that’s not how I operate. When I look at paper, I want to start drawing and do awesome stuff on it. So just by getting my sleep back and taking care of my thyroid and I and I saw to be totally honest, my thyroid still isn’t under control. And I know that there’s things that I need to be trying on my side that don’t involvement. But I’m not an MD. So, you know, just being aware of it though, and realizing the consequences of the medication. My husband is a disabled vet when he got injured in the Air Force, they put him on oxy cotton. I mean that right? It made him It made him suicidal. He, I mean, this has been reported multiple times within the VA. I don’t mean by him, but it’s been known to happen because it’s not. It’s just been known to happen. I’m not about to start a controversy right here.
Well, we all know that medications have tremendous side effects and you’re lucky if you don’t have any side effects. And if you do, they can, they can cause a lot of damage. So um, yeah.
What is your favorite aspect of what you do today?
Wow. Well, certainly Working with clients, I love to see somebody who just feels blocked or stuck or confused about why things aren’t going the way they want them to to suddenly blossom in a very short period of time and say, Wow, you know, I go into network meetings and people are treating me as the expert. And I’m now the resource person for this and I don’t even know that much about this.
and so that that always delights me. Because I, I just, you know, I grew up with a dad who had lots of pain and I think I took a vow very young to say, Man, anytime I get a chance to get people out of pain, whether it’s physical or emotional or spiritual, I’m going to do it and it just makes me feel so much better. I feel such a relief when I end For people to go through a transformation and have things change for him.
And usually, you know, the transport. There are all kinds of
tactical tips. And
you know, there’s certainly plenty of things about the business that, you know, you need your technical stuff, you need some knowledge you need, you need all these things. And if you don’t do it, you have to have somebody else do it and that’s fine. But that the part that can sometimes seem unreachable because it’s a little, it’s a little less tangible, is that the part that comes from the inside of us? And for so many people at sea, they’re really confusing or it’s a mystery or they just think they have no capacity to change because they’ve lived with it their whole life. And I’ve had, I’ve had clients just come right out and say I had no idea that I could change In that way, I had no idea I didn’t think it was a possibility. And if you don’t think it’s a possibility, then you’re not even going to try. And there’s a bit of a always a bit of a hopeless feeling that I’m just kind of stuck with this part of my personality or the way I respond to certain things. And, and I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t have to be that way. I mean, I rarely see a situation where we can’t make some huge changes and people can turn things around. So
maybe it’s in the spirit of already talking about our, our loved ones who are in the service, but all of a sudden, I’m seeing Rosie the Riveter with her arm up. Yes, we can.
Yes, we can. Yep, you have something? Yes, you can.
Yep. Yeah, you know, I was thinking about this in terms of a metaphor and I was thinking, you know, a seed doesn’t ever question or have any resistance about turning into a plant. That’s Then has a bud that then turns into a flower or a piece of fruit. It just responds to what is supposed to respond to a response to light and oxygen and carbon dioxide and to water and a few nutrients. And then it just, you know, it just transforms in the same way with animals in the same way with us. Yeah, I was thinking of a caterpillar that transforms into a butterfly. It’s just you know, it doesn’t fight it, it doesn’t worry about it. It doesn’t wonder what’s happening. It just it just happens and they just accept it and move through it. And what’s unique about us is that we have this mind which is it’s a catch 22 because on one hand, we can be brilliant and have all this creativity and go against the grain and all that. But at the same time, it creates resistance and avoidance and in the All that comes out of fear. So we need to be more like the the plants are blossoming and flowering and producing fruit
with no resistance.
I love that. I love that.
This has been absolutely mind blowing. You got me thinking about just so much in my business so much in my personal life and I’m excited about using my belly to become grounded.
Trying to figure out how to get rid of it, but I’m gonna use it to empower me.
I’m still getting rid of it, but I can still use it to empower me. But yeah, yeah. For listeners, I would love to hear what aha is you’ve gotten so far out of this episode. So head on over to KIM sutton.com forward slash p p six to five and leave a comment down below the show notes and also there on that page. You will find all the places where you can find Melinda but with that said Where can listeners find you?
Well, my website is www m bloodstone.com. And I just published a chapter in a book of there were a total of 13 authors that comprise this book. Two of them are Suzanne Evans and Larry Winget, which are both Wall Street New York Times bestsellers. And it’s my chapter is called the hardest decisions are often the best decisions. And you can find that as a free download at Melinda broad stone author.com
awesome and again, listeners that will be in the show notes so if you’re driving, try not to burn dinner don’t want to fall off the elliptical, just head on over to thekimsutton.com/pp625 at your convenience and it will be right there for you.
Yes, and I wanted to just share one more thing if that’s okay. This is a summary I just wanted to remind the audience that
while we might have challenges with the with the with politicians and with the medical community and even the spiritual community and so forth, the religious community, you know, you pick it, there’s going to be somebody’s going to have a gripe. And so it’s just a reminder that we’re in a time where our eyes are opening up to new ways of doing. And that’s what we were doing today was exploring a different way that doesn’t require medication, or artificial means of taking control of your state of mind and your body and teaching you that you have some power over that. So that’s my suggestion to everybody is to pay attention to your breath, pay attention to your body and it sensations reconnect, and you’ll have a huge shift just from that.