PP 651: “I AM”: Two Words You Should Start Telling Yourself Today! with Nancy Showalter
“The power within you is greater than any power outside of you. And when you know that, you have that presence with you.” -Nancy Showalter
Do you feel like your life is continuously swirling in cosmic non-existence without direction and meaning? Discover a wormhole that brings you back into the present with Kim and Nancy Showalter. Nancy talks about how two words: “I AM” can change your reality and the kind of future you can have. We also hear golden bits of wisdom about the law of attraction, equality, rest, and the power of gratitude. Learn how to tap into your higher self and live your life with confidence. Tune in and find out how to create the conditions you need to attract abundance. Today’s takeaway: No one can keep you from being who you want to be because growing is a choice- YOUR choice.
Highlights:
02:22 The Law Of Attraction in Action
08:31 Reach The Higher Dimension Of Yourself
14:46 Your Growth, Your Choice
24:18 The Power Within You
33:27 How to be in the Spiritual Realm
40:26 No Empty Affirmations, Only Gratitude
47:37 How to Overcome Trauma: Forgive & Move On
Resources Mentioned
Books
- The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle
- It’s OK to Be Rich: The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Increased Wealth and Personal Mastery by Nancy Showalter
Inspirational Quotes:
08:42 “Look at life from a more spiritual perspective, because sometimes there is a much broader understanding of who we are, where we’re going, and what it’s all about.” – Nancy Showalter
11:27 “Words make a difference, just like our thoughts make a difference.” – Nancy Showalter
18:52 “People just need to be told to choose something different. Focus on what you want to be whatever your circumstances are.” – Nancy Showalter
28:11 “Where you place your attention, that’s where your energy goes.” – Nancy Showalter
28:29 “The power within you is greater than any power outside of you.” – Nancy Showalter
41:47 “With gratitude comes an outpouring in the heart and love.” – Nancy Showalter
47:56 “Everything in the universe is energy.” – Nancy Showalter
About Nancy Showalter:
Nancy is a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, Spiritual Counselor and Internet Marketing Consultant. Over the last 30 years, she has taught personal and spiritual development and conducted leadership training around the world. Nancy currently speaks and conducts seminars and one-on-one client mentoring to help ordinary people discover their extraordinary potential to transform their professional and personal lives. She is the author of It’s OK to Be Rich: The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Increased Wealth and Personal Mastery and host of Spirituality for the Politically Incorrect Podcast. Nancy’s vision until today is that all men know God, everyone has perfect health, and there is peace on earth. Her life’s experiences taught her important lessons about overcoming and were powerful catalyst in her spiritual growth.
Kim Sutton: Welcome back to another episode of Positive Productivity. This is your host, Kim Sutton. I must forewarn you, our lovely listeners, that I am on my second cup of coffee. I’m so excited about the conversation that we are going to be having today because it is with Nancy Showalter, a Law of Attraction Life Coach, Spirituality Mentor and the host of Spirituality for the Politically Incorrect. Did I get that right? Okay, I wrote that wrong. But I love, and I want you to share a bit of your story. I don’t know if you know that I was introduced to the law of attraction of Abraham Hicks in 2009. I was 30 years old by that point. And until that point, I thought that life was just how life was, that it was all, and I’m gonna watch my mouse, it was all S-H-I-T. The dark cloud was everybody else’s fault, but my own, and that I could do nothing about my attitude. It was just going to be stinky, and people are just going to have to deal with it. You’ve met me in person, it’s been 10 years since then, that is not how I live my life today. But thank you for what you do because I know that there are a whole lot of people, I encounter them every single day including sometimes in my house, who need to be introduced to the law of attraction and change their way of thinking. So thank you so much for what you do. But with that said, how did you get into this? How were you introduced?
Nancy Showalter: I always like to say, I was born with a mission. Because I just felt from the time that I was very young, I was on a spiritual path of searching for truth, for enlightenment and I just had that interest from the very beginning. As I grew, matured, I studied world religions, I studied eastern religion, I studied yoga. I taught yoga for a number of years, hatha yoga, but with the understanding that it’s just connecting you to spirituality. And then I progressed to the point, as you study and you learn about the law of attraction, which of course is what you put out, you get back basically in very simple terms. What you sow, you reap. For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. It’s really innate to us, the law of attraction. We maybe haven’t, that’s a new term, modern term, we call it the law of attraction. But the law of cause and effect, we kind of use it even in our colloquial language. Like, what goes around comes around. Just different ways that we innately understand the law of attraction. So it’s not really a new concept. Obviously, the whole universe functions on this concept. We are a creator, and we do put out causes, and those effects do return to us. I got into it, and then I actually went, I studied mostly spirituality. I worked with a nonprofit, I traveled all around Latin America and around a number of countries in the world and worked with groups, spiritual groups, and trained in spiritual concepts. But the law of attraction is a spiritual concept, basically, if you want to put it in that perspective.
Then I went to the Quantum Success Academy, Christy Whitman’s program, to get certified in the law of attraction. And then I just continued my spiritual work. I’ve worked with nonprofits for a major part of my adult life, and my say, for the last 30 years. So that’s how I just kind of got into it and understood, I had an experience when I was young, in my 20’s, and I understood that there’s a greater part to myself. This experience was, someone had done something to me, hurt me in some way. And honestly, I don’t even remember the details. But I remember the lesson because I was crying. I’m not a crying type person. I didn’t cry a lot, but I was crying because I was deeply hurt. And all of a sudden, I was separated from the part of me that was crying. I was watching myself crying, and I started talking to myself. I said, Nancy, it’s okay. He or she, whatever, may not love you, or care, or whatever, but I do. I love you. I’ve got your back. Almost like a parent holding the child and comforting that child while I was still crying. This was all happening. And at that moment, I realized, if I continue on this path, I’m going to be a victim the rest of my life. And that was a huge shift for me.
Kim Sutton: That was huge for me to,on the day I was introduced to the law of attraction. Realizing that I wasn’t the victim, and I was making my choices. I could choose whether or not other people had the right, or the power to determine my happiness. That was huge.
Nancy Showalter: It was huge.
Kim Sutton: And now I was out of my ex husband. Nancy, I burn just about everything I cook, everything. I’m okay with that because I know that my genius zone is not in the kitchen. Thank goodness. I was burning the chicken or the curry again, and I smiled at him when he came home and started on my horrible cooking. I was like, you know what? I think he asked me, why are you smiling? I said: “Because you no longer have the right to decide if I’m happy or not.” And the look of shock on his face thatI was no longer gonna be a victim was just, it was amazing. I read the Power of Now last year–
Nancy Showalter: Mm hmm.
Kim Sutton: –or the year before, I don’t remember, it’s all blending together right now. I remember her totally talking about the highway, sometimes we just have to choose to step off, or almost all the time I think is what you saying, step to the side and look down or not. I don’t like saying look down.
Nancy Showalter: Become the observer base.
Kim Sutton: Yes, thank you very much. Now, we’re so much more eloquent in talking about this than I am, but become the observer. I love imagery like that because that’s what I connect with. I was able to resonate with that so much. And then I tried to explain it to my husband, but that didn’t go so well. But I was raised Catholic, and I was also raised in a family where you don’t talk about feelings, you don’t show your feelings, you don’t cry whatever is, that’s just how it is. And finding this new reality was completely eye opening. I’ve been working now to show that to my kids, to the point that one of them had a horrible attitude. I made him read a book of my choice in order to get ungrounded and he’s like, wow, is it really this easy? You can Think Better, Live Better? That was actually the book. I was like, yes, you can think better, live better.
Nancy Showalter: Yeah, it’s liberating isn’t it? It absolutely is. From my perspective, I like to help people look at life sometimes from a more spiritual perspective, because I think that sometimes is a much broader understanding of who we are, where we’re going and what it’s all about. I have this step into a higher dimension of yourself, a larger dimension of yourself so you understand. Yes, of course, we have a physical body, we’re very aware of, we have emotions, we have our feelings, we have our thoughts, we have all of these things, but there is a portion of us that is beyond those things. It’s that presence of who we are. The part of us created in the image and likeness of the Divine. Call up the source, call it whatever you want to call it. But we came forth as perfect beings. A part of us still stays in that high spiritual realm, and then our soul is in this dimension for a period of time. But we’re always connected to that higher part of us, that part that was made in the image and likeness of the Divine, that part that has that perfection and doesn’t look upon the imperfection of where we are. This is our experience, this is our opportunity because we have free will. It’s really interesting because there’s so much discussion today in the world, especially in the United States where we’re talking about equality. And it’s such an interesting thing. Yes, we were all created equal.
But then I love how the teacher Mark says, he says: “And that’s where equality ends, because we have free will. And just like we’re describing, like you’re describing how in the past, you may have been putting out energy that wasn’t the most productive for you, or people around you, or any of us,when we have that. And then we shift and we understand that there’s a better way to use the energy and the life force that we have that’s flowing to us constantly from our higher self. And that higher self is the I AM, it’s the presence. I mean, we’re the only species on the planet that can say, I am and have self awareness. I mean, animals are great, they’re beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, can learn a lot of things, but they don’t make decisions, like you said. They don’t have self awareness, and we do. So that I AM presence, that I AM, using those words, we’re calling upon the divine part of ourself to create a certain condition, whatever we follow those words afterwards, after we say I am. So words make a difference. And just like our thoughts make a difference.
Kim Sutton: Absolutely. I’m thinking about my kids right now. 10 years ago when I was married to my ex, we had two children together, my older boys are now 14 and 17. Because my mindset and mindfulness was so crap, it went into the whole family, the children were struggling. I remember my now 14 year old, he would just get so angry, and he wasn’t. I understand there’s children who are on the spectrum and they have challenges. I have a brother who has Asperger’s. Sometimes it’s really hard to get them to calm down. But this wasn’t that case, it was the reflection of what was going on inside me, inside our marriage, and it was wearing right off onto him. Fast forward to now, really just changing my mindset, my mindfulness, beginning to share it with my children. I mean, my older two boys have completely transformed. My younger three are complete challenges, but they also their free will. It’s not restricted, and it really should be restricted more than it is, I just need to say that while I’m staring at a whole bunch of art that they drew on my office wall without my permission. They’re not bad kids, and their attitudes are amazing. It’s just sometimes, they don’t understand what they should not do. Nancy, the middle of my youngest three loves textures, and it’s really hard to take her to the store. Because even now at five, she will grab a pizza by racing at the store because she loves to just feel how things feel. Like, sweetie, that’s really not acceptable, but it’s not wrong. I think that’s where a lot of struggle comes into every person’s life. We tend to look at a lot as black and white, and we forget that there’s a beautiful rainbow in between.
Nancy Showalter: Right. Rather than, that’s wrong, you can talk more in the sense of, we all have a personal space just like you do. So if we talk from that perspective, sometimes more than just right or wrong, like you say black or white.
Kim Sutton: Oh, yeah, thank you. I’m gonna have to use it, I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me to talk about personal space with them.
Nancy Showalter: Yeah, because they have that personal space too. And even though they’re a little more rowdy movement, easily move out, their personal space is not quite so defined as when you get a little older. But still, children do need to learn to respect each other, as well as adults, whatever their personal space.
Kim Sutton: Yeah, I can’t have these two go into kindergarten next year.
Nancy Showalter: Or the teacher, yeah.
Kim Sutton: Or the teachers. Oh, my god, I can only imagine that conversation. You talked about going through Christy Whitman’s certification, I love, I’m embarrassed to admit that I didn’t even know that she’s been a guest, I’ve met her and had the opportunity to chat with her. And even at the event that we were at together, sometimes I feel so extremely blessed. And this is gonna sound a little bit backwards, I messed up my first business 15 years ago so bad that I decided not to run this one off a credit card because I’m above to be certified in the law of attraction. Because even building funnels, there’s so many times that I want to tell clients, fix your attitude. Everything is going to be good. Stop looking at what’s negative. I want to put on my application for my products, to be totally honest. How’s your mindset? How’s your mindfulness? What type of attitude do you have? Because I’m not going to work with people who are in a scarcity mindset, or have a poopy attitude. I borrowed that one from my kids. As a spirituality mentor and law of attraction life coach, do you still find yourself challenged by clients and their mindset at any point?
Nancy Showalter: It depends. You can have a poopy mindset, as you say. But if you’re open to change, that’s the key. That’s really the key. If somebody isn’t open to change, I mean, you can take them wherever they are and move them forward. Even if it’s just a little bit, it’s helpful to them, and then they can keep growing as much as they want. But you have to make that choice. Again, it goes back to choice. And if forever, yes, some people, it’s just really hard to get out of that, everybody else’s fault, the victim kind of thing. They don’t see it as a victim, but that’s what it is. Oh, my parents did this, or the teachers did that, or the government’s doing this, all these things that we just don’t take the ultimate responsibility. So yes, you still deal with those people. And if someone is just never going to change, yeah, you can just say, I’ve never really had to actually cut anybody off, I must say. I can get kind to direct people working with them, and then they may decide if they just don’t want to work with me. But yes, that’s an issue. But it comes back to choice.
That reminds me of another experience that I had when I was in my 20’s. Fairly young and early 20’s. When you’re growing up and you think back, and you think, Oh, yeah, your parents are doing such, and such, and they could be good people. But I’m not going to be like that when I grow up. And lo and behold, you start growing up and you find yourself doing the same things, saying the same things, whatever. That’s where I was at this moment. I was talking to a mentor and I was saying, I don’t want to be like my mother. Now, my mother is great, wasn’t she just passed on, but she was a great woman. I loved her, we’re very close. And sometimes, too close. She was a little dominating. So I’m saying: “I don’t want to be like my mother.” I don’t want to be like mother and I’m going on, and on, and on. He just listens calmly, and when I finally decide to stop, he says: “You don’t want to be like your mother.” I said: “No, haven’t you heard me?” And so he holds out his arm with his palm down and he says: “You don’t want to be like your mother.” Then he turns his palm up and he says: “Then don’t be like your mother.” I was like, hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized, who’s keeping me from being how I want to be? Nobody. Nobody, it was me. And nobody then, nobody now. We have a choice.
Sometimes, people just need to be told that, choose something different. You don’t want to be like your mother, you don’t want to be like him, or her, or whatever, then don’t be the way you want to be. And that was a big lesson for me to learn. Focus on what you want to be, whatever your circumstances are. It doesn’t matter. You put your creative attention on where you want to go, that better attitude, that mindset, abundant mindset, whatever it is. Yes, you still deal with your issues and situations, you don’t ignore it, you don’t suppress them, you don’t pretend they don’t exist. But you’re not putting your creative energy into that.
Kim Sutton: I’m absolutely loving this. Sorry, but not sorry that I’m working this background to what I do. But I have clients who get frustrated because they feel like they cannot create content. However, they can get onto a Facebook Live, or video, or podcast and talk for hours about what they do. I mean, listen to you and I, we could take this and transcribe it and they have–
Nancy Showalter: Saved, got his content.
Kim Sutton: Right. I’ll say: “I need some emails because I need it to be in your voice.” Well, I have dyslexia. I’m a horrible writer. Well, do you have a smartphone? Yeah. Or do you have a way to record on your computer? Like zoom or anything? Yeah. Well, just hop on, pretend you’re talking to me, and just have a conversation with me, and then we’ll get it transcribed. And there you go. Oh, said easy. Yeah, it really is. But when you’re thinking about how hard it is and how frustrated you are, then you’re blocking yourself. I never thought about that. Yeah, because you’re getting into your own way.
Nancy Showalter: Exactly. I don’t do that.
Kim Sutton: All the time. I do it myself all the time. I mean, the funniest times are probably when I just get so tizzy by what I need to be doing. And listeners, I loved to know if you’ve been here too. I’ll be talking on my phone, trying to find stuff, trying to get on my way out the door, and then I get in a tizzy because I’m looking for my phone, which as I just said, I’m talking on. Looking for our glasses, who hasn’t seen somebody who was looking for their glasses which were on their head?
Nancy Showalter: Yeah, right.
Kim Sutton: But it’s a lot easier if we can. I actually learned this on my own podcast, isn’t that amazing to be still and listen?
Nancy Showalter: Yes.
Kim Sutton: I was not giving myself the opportunity to be still, ever.
Nancy Showalter: That is so important. So important to just be still, go into your heart space and just be and listen, and just be present.
Kim Sutton: Thank you for saying heartspace, that was the biggest thing for me too. Because I was going into my headspace, and you don’t go into the headspace of Kim Sutton if you ever want to come back, you’re gonna get attacked by ideas.
Nancy Showalter: Our headspace is usually pretty full. We can just drop into that heart space. I mean, one technique I teach is just think of a drop of water falling from your head, just dripping into a little still pool of the heart, simple little ripples and you just drop with that drop of water. And you can learn to feel the energy of that heart space, that is where it’s presence, and all as well. Peace, equilibrium, we need to go to that space. We can stay in that space even while we’re doing other things. I always use the example of like, it’s like our computer, you might be running around the internet and typing up emails, but in the background, those programs are running, and that’s how it can be with our connection with that I AM. We can always have it even while we’re doing other things.
Kim Sutton: I went through a period where, I should say my family went through a period where my husband was working full time out of the house. We were working to build or to buy our house that we’re in right now. And with him working full time out of the house, the kids needed to go to daycare, so I was crazy busy at home. My husband was working 12 to 16 hours days, I was doing daycare pickup and drop off. I live in a small town. I’m not complaining, but even that five minutes each way was sometimes just crazy making for me. But the kids, as soon as I would pick them up, it’s like 5:30. Because yes, I’m that mom who would stretch it to the very last minute. I just want to put that out there. So they’re hungry, they’re screaming on the way home. There were days that I felt like, oh my gosh, I’m gonna lose it. And then I love that you’re talking about, I am, because I actually mean, I am sheet.
Nancy Showalter: Yeah.
Kim Sutton: I picked a word for each letter of the alphabet, and I would go through them. As I said, it was only a five minute drive. But I would start saying, I am, and go down each letter of the alphabet. One day, I’ll never forget the older of my daughter, she must have been three or four, she says: “Mom, are you talking to yourself?” Yes, yeah, I am. She says: “What are you saying?” And I said: “I’m doing my I AM’s” “Well, tell them to me.” So I started doing my I AM’s with them.
Nancy Showalter: Awesome.
Kim Sutton: And when I was able to pull back into myself, instead of being wrapped up in the hungry grumpies, my family could seriously be its own snickers commercial. When I finally pulled back from that chaos and reflected was still within myself, it all got better.
Nancy Showalter: Mm hmm.
Kim Sutton: It felt so much better. I mentioned to you in the pre chat that this is sort of gonna timestamp this episode, that I’m traveling this upcoming weekend. I’m going to Podfest to speak that there’s so much going on in the States right now, worldwide, actually, because of Coronavirus. I was getting wrapped up in very anxious worrying about that. And it struck me last night, because you are worrying about it, you are attracting it, and you need to just stop that right now. So I had a whole discussion with my husband and I was like, this is basically just the flu. I mean, I realized that this is a little bit more serious than that. He’s like, yeah. So he said: “Well, we’ve gotten over the flu many times.” Yep. So I’m not going to worry about it anymore. He says: “Good. Go, be you, have fun. Don’t think about that. Come home, we’ll miss you.” And in that very moment, just letting the fear go out the window, almost all anxiety about this travel go out the window. But I feel like looking at the news right now, people are getting so wrapped up in the fear that they’re not seeing the possibility on the other side. And that maybe is not as bad as we’re making it out to be. Again, I’m not a doctor, I don’t know.
Nancy Showalter: Well, at this stage of it, if nothing else, compare the data. How many people get sick every year and die with the flu. I was kind of shocked when I heard how the 10’s of thousands of people die every year from the flu. Right. But you see, we don’t worry about getting the flu every time we go somewhere. Because that’s already kind of the, I hate to say it, but it’s like the norm. We’re not focused on, Oh, am I going to get the flu all the time? Maybe some people are, but basically not. So yeah, it’s a tricky thing. Because where you place your energy, your attention, that’s where your energy goes. And you don’t want to create the condition. I usually end when people ask me, when I’m being interviewed, do you have any final words for the people? Well, I’m going to say to them, now, because it is appropriate to what we’re saying and that is, we really must know that in every fiber of our being, that the power within us, within you, is greater than any power outside of you. And when you know that, that is almost a barrier of your aura. And you have that presence with you. There are spiritual things you can do, you can call to Archangel Michael who’s known for protection and place this light around you, visualize it. It’s almost like an attitude of, you just don’t accept it. And it’s the best we can do, really. Plus, take care of washing our hands and doing those things too, don’t get me wrong.
Kim Sutton: Absolutely. So the funny thing is that I had put off purchasing my plane ticket because I was just being overly mindful of what was going on. Plus, I was also watching finances. I need to be totally transparent like I always am. And then it gotta be too late. I mean, the flights were not working. It was just astronomical prices. I said: “Okay, what am I gonna do now?” So that’s a family joke: “Mom is going to have a vacation in the car.” I am driving. It’s gonna be 14 hours each way. I am looking forward to that. Can I tell you how looking forward I am to 20 hours in the car by myself?
Nancy Showalter: I understand, I know, I know.
Kim Sutton: I leave in the middle of the night, and I can take a nap when I get there, a long nap. But I’m so looking forward to it. I’ll wash my hands at the restaurant. I can pack all the snacks and the drinks that I want from my favorite store.
Nancy Showalter: Exactly.
Kim Sutton: I’m turning it around to a total positive. You and I met at an event, I can’t even explain to you how hard it is for me to pack a suitcase when I’m flying because I only want to take the, I don’t want to have to wait in the luggage.
Nancy Showalter: Yeah.
Kim Sutton: I will only pack the one that can fit in the overhead bin. That is so difficult for me because I overpack. I mean, my family would go away for a three day vacation and I would have two [inaudible]. So now they brought up the big suitcase for me last night and I was just glowing with happiness.
Nancy Showalter: I am. Think about it, it actually clears away, you’re not going to be in an airplane full of people not knowing if there are any carriers there.
Kim Sutton: Right. No missed flights, no thunderstorms, nothing, like me, myself.
Nancy Showalter: Exactly.
Kim Sutton: Blasting my music as loud as I want to, my kids tell me it’s horrible. So everything works out for the better. I just want to continue on this for one last second. I went into my computer last night to pull up my slide deck and see if there were any changes that needed to be made. Here’s another example of the law of attraction, this is actually perfect. My Mac had crashed and burned right before the end of last year. I got a new one, and everything was recovered, thanks to cloud storage. Except for, it appeared last night on my slide deck. However, I didn’t get down. I did a simple search and I found a PDF where I’d sent it out. I was recreating it this morning in an even better form. Just sitting there drinking my coffee, thinking this provides great opportunity and needs to be updated anyway. I don’t want people to see the same one. It’s a new year, and I’m so excited about this new one. But I would love to know your thoughts last night. Well, okay, I lied a little bit. Last night, I was a little bit frustrated. I was also very tired. I learned from watching Esther Hicks, one of the greatest expressions that I learned from her was, simply take a nap. So last night, when I found myself getting frustrated, it was already 11:30. If anybody ever hears frustration in my voice, it’s most likely because I’m tired and I give you full authority to tell me to go take a nap, because that’s likely what I need. So I decided, you know what? I’m not going to stress about this right now. My husband is like, are you okay? And I was like, yep. I think I’m just going to go to bed. This will be so much easier in the morning when I’m not tired. Good idea. So I just did that. Taking a nap, and letting the worry go, and the stress go, and just letting my body clear of one day and move into the next is magic.
Nancy Showalter: Yes.
Kim Sutton: Do you work with your clients about that?
Nancy Showalter: Yes. I can give you a little bit of a spiritual perspective if you–
Kim Sutton: Well, love it.
Nancy Showalter: Yeah. When we go to sleep, our soul literally leaves the body, right? We’re not conscious into our body. I mean, when we die, it permanently leaves. But when we go to sleep, it just leaves and goes into spiritual realms. Now, hopefully high enough spiritual realms, we’re not having horrible nightmares, But you can actually, before you go to sleep, this is why sometimes you will wake up with new creative ideas, a whole new, whether it’s a nap or sleeping all night, but you can go and you can call before you go to sleep. Ask the angels to take you, there are temples in the authentic spiritual realm that we go, and we study, and we learn, and all these things that we don’t always consciously remember but we come back with inspiration. Do you wake up sometimes that it’s just tons of inspiration if you require it and let yourself receive it, kind of like a download from your higher self. So your soul goes off and comes back, so you can ask to be taken somewhere. Take me to a retreat where I can learn self confidence or whatever. You can ask for anything. We have spiritual help. But we can only stay so long in this dimension without our souls going back to spirit. Just like people go crazy if they don’t sleep for days and days, it’s a trauma to us. So we’re kind of required to go back to have a healthy balanced lifestyle.
People sometimes just say, well, where do we go when we sleep? Well, you’re definitely not in your conscious awareness. And of course, people say, well, you can learn, love, dream and actually control your dream if you can get conscious enough, or you can start to remember the experiences that you have. Or you come back and you have a dream that doesn’t make a lot of sense, per se, a lot of symbolism or whatever, it doesn’t matter. But some people really learn to work with their dreams, interpret them and they learn what symbol, what things in their dreams mean to them. But bottom line, yes, it’s much easier when you’re tired, just let it go. Let yourself go, rest your body, and in the morning or whenever, after the nap or whatever, come back and you can be in a whole different place.
Kim Sutton: I would love to hear your thoughts on dreams. I started dating my first husband in high school, 1997, and we were together until late 2010. And then my now husband and I got together after my first husband and I split. But we were only together a couple months when we split up for a little bit. My husband now, Dave, had a long line of women who did him wrong, and he was waiting for me to do him wrong so he sabotaged the relationship. I love him dearly. He’s my soulmate. The reason I bring this up is because those 13 years that I was with my first husband, and even till now, I never had a dream about him. However, every single night, while Dave and I were not apart for those three months, I would dream about him. Do you have any explanation for that?
Nancy Showalter: Well, to be perfectly honest, I’m not a dream expert. I do know that many times, of course, it depends on the context of the dream also. But people in our lives symbolize certain things to us. Whether it’s your parent or a teacher, what does that person mean to you? Or how do you view that? What are they symbolizing? A lot of times, we just dream, and symbols, and it could be people. Now, some dreams can be, you’re having an experience and you’re remembering it, literally. I don’t know. I mean, you can, it’s interesting that that happened. You’d need to look at what happened in the dream? What were you doing? Was it a pleasant dream? You could have been resolving things with him in that relationship.
Kim Sutton: Oh, absolutely.
Nancy Showalter: Yeah. It could have been, okay, we’re resolving, we’re finally getting this settled. Not just divorce wise in the physical, but in the spiritual side, and the psychological side, the emotional side we’re settling.
Kim Sutton: Well, I’m talking about, when I dreamed about my husband, it was about my current husband, Dave. I still to this day have not dreamed about my ex husband.
Nancy Showalter: Is your current husband, when you were apart?
Kim Sutton: When we were apart while we were still dating. I dreamt about him every single night.
Nancy Showalter: Well, in that case, you may very well have been creating your relationship. Working things out, and then you got okay.
Kim Sutton: Oh, yeah. And then when we finally got back together, he said: “Thank you for not giving up, because I knew you were — I was just scared.”
Nancy Showalter: Yeah. To me, that sounds like that. More like you were working things out on a higher level, and then you were able to come together physically.
Kim Sutton: Nancy, ironically, the conversation that introduced me to the law of attraction was with my chiropractor who’s a friend and he asked me, what’s your favorite movie? This was during my appointment with me. He very much liked small talk so I told him it was, What Dreams May Come. Robin Williams. Just the imagery is amazing. And now that we’ve talked about dreams and law of attraction, I can see it, what dreams may come? It’s all weaving itself together. Finally now, 10 years after my husband and I started our relationship and had been married for almost eight years, but I’d never even thought about that. What dreams may come, and then I jumped about them for all those months while we were apart. And now, it’s absolutely woven itself together beautifully like the movie.
Nancy Showalter: Right. Nice.
Kim Sutton: Where do you focus your thoughts? Or do you not attempt to focus your thoughts? I know what I’m trying to say is just stuck in my brain.
Nancy Showalter: Well, I’ll tell you the one thing that I like to wake up to remind myself during the day is gratitude. That’s where I like to, I just thank God for the beautiful place I live, we live up in the mountains 8000 feet high, it’s eternal spring, green all year, growing season is beautiful, I’m in Ecuador now, just about 40 kilometers north of the equator. But because we live in the Andes, so high, it’s not really hot because it gets cool at night, in fact, when the sun goes down. Goes like that, usually between 50, 70, 80 degrees all year. But everyday, it moves up and down with–
Kim Sutton: Wow.
Nancy Showalter: It’s very peaceful. So just giving thanks for, if you’re having financial difficulties, giving thanks for that abundance, just flowing into your life, and taking a deep breath, and believing that that abundance is like oxygen, you can breathe it in because that abundance of the universe just comes to you. And gratitude raises your vibration faster and higher than almost anything. Because with gratitude, comes an outpouring and the heart and love, and love we know, and joy, those are the highest vibrations in the universe. Not just human love, but literally that love that holds the physical universe together. So gratitude is really where I try to focus my thoughts. Even if you start to get frustrated. For me, I just say, Oh, I love it. I Am presence, my higher self takes command of this situation, I’m turning it over to you. I’m your hands and feet here, let’s make this happen. You can constantly invoke a higher part of yourself. And yes, you’re one with it. That’s what we’re meant to be, and that integrity, and those I AM statements. Yes, you can do just, I am this, I am that, but when you realize that I am means you’re calling upon that divine part of yourself to create that condition, so if we’re constantly going into I’m sick, or I’m broke, I’m this, I’m that, we’re focusing our creative energy on that condition. So it’s not just empty affirmations. They can be, but still saying it, you’re creating a condition. Whether you like it or not, we’re creating all the time. That’s it.
Kim Sutton: Thank you for bringing up the MTM affirmations, because I had empty affirmations for far too long. And it wasn’t until I really began a journey of developing my confidence and understanding of my value and not just saying, I am competent because I did that to myself too. I had an affirmation about my confidence, come on, that’s just BS unless you actually believe that you need to believe these things.
Nancy Showalter: Well, and that is true. Again, we can kid ourselves like you say, we can just pretend that we are this and that. And yes, pretending, visualizing and imaginin, that’s powerful. But when you say I’m confident and somebody just bottom line their feelings, their beliefs are not confident. The affirmation, what we have to understand is we have to look at where we are. And when we are saying, I am confident, we have to understand that we are tuning into something higher than what we might be feeling at the moment. We’re invoking a higher part of ourselves. When I was talking to myself, comforting myself, we have to understand, okay, I’m not confident. Why am I not confident? Listen to yourself, that inner child, that inner soul will tell you. Literally will tell you what you’re afraid of. What are you afraid of? And you can heal that fear. And yes, we can go to coaches or we can go to psychologists, and all that can be very helpful. But until we really make that decision inside,to change and to not ignore anymore of these things, not make excuses, like you say, I’m just a jerk and that’s the way I am and you have to accept that. Well, yeah, you can be that way. You have free will. But that’s not going to get you necessarily where you want to be. We have this incredible power that we don’t even understand sometimes.
Kim Sutton: Nancy, how do you feel about the expression, fake it till you make it.
Nancy Showalter: It depends. It depends. I do believe that stepping into a reality with your feelings, and this is where the gratitude can come in where you’re just, I am grateful for this book, abundance pouring into me and it may not be at the moment. But the point is, you are going into a higher vibration. Now, if you’re just with your ego saying, Oh, I’m this, da, da, da, da, and you’re not integrity with your feelings, and your thoughts, and everything, it’s not going to work. But if you take it as, I’m not just saying the kind of life I want to live, I’m literally stepping into it vibrationally, I am being it is kind of like being happy. You can be happy, like you say, someone else is acting like a jerk, you can still be happy, it’s a choice. But see, we don’t realize we have these choices. A lot of times, we don’t realize that we can just get out of, I mean, there’ll be times when you’ll start with something, some of these thoughts, this or that. I mean, I just have to say, Nancy, cool it. We’re not there anymore, remember? Here’s where we are, let’s get it together. Get in alignment, you just sometimes have to do it.
I mean, I did that for years after that initial experience of not being a victim, until your being is in alignment and integrity, integrity with your higher self, with your feelings, your thoughts, you’re not like this war within yourself. You feel one thing, you believe another thing, you’re mentally trying to create this, you’re trying to do this.. That’s why I say that you have to step into this larger dimension of yourself and take charge. If you have these hurt feelings, you had traumas in your life, and many of us have had major traumas, you can work with that trauma with that part of yourself that still carries that trauma. Everything in the universe is energy. We know that scientifically, spiritually we know, everything’s energy including us. And any negative memory, no matter how powerful it might be, or how insignificant is energy locked into a certain pattern. You can free that energy through your own love, caring for yourself, listening to yourself, talking to yourself. I mean, that could be mentally and it could be verbally, it could do however works for you. But we have to start to listen to these parts of ourselves that need healing, that are not whole, and we can start to resolve these things. That’s what forgiving is all about, FOR GIVING, giving it up, letting it go.
I mean, my brother at the age of 39 was brutally murdered by his ex business partner, shot nine times. That was a trauma to our whole family, and you can get through traumas. In fact, you must get through traumas if you want to continue with your life. You can give it away, give it up. Do we forget who he is? Do we forget it happens? No. But that emotional charge, that pain has been processed. And you do go through grief, you do go through feelings. You can’t deny those things and pretend, Oh. Even when you have a spiritual understanding that, hey, that’s not the end of life. We go on, but you still have that trauma that you have to deal with. So deal with it and move on, rather than carry it for the rest of your life. We want to carry our wounds. Somehow it locks into our identity and we want to just, that’s who we are now. We’ve been wounded.
Kim Sutton: One of our mutual connections taught me, she shared with me something that she heard at a conference last fall and that was, share your scars, not your wounds. And that was huge for me. Because yeah, even at that time, I was going through some major shifts in my personal life and in my business. I was sharing too many of the wounds, and they weren’t serving me or the people that I was sharing them with. But when I could step back, and I had to forgive, but I also had to own my responsibility. Now, I please know that this does not apply to every trauma. I totally recognize that if you’re assaulted, or if a family member is brutally murdered, like your brother was, there’s not accountability to be taken for that besides moving on, which I realize is really hard. But there were actions that I had taken that led to the circumstances that I was in, and I needed to take accountability, but then I needed to forgive and I needed to, I actually found the greatest propellant when I was actually able to be grateful for the circumstances as bad as they were. Because they taught me more than I would have ever learned if I had not gone through that.
Nancy Showalter: That’s what life’s about. That reminds me of the story of, well, I don’t know if you’ve ever read the books, The Essene Gospel, or Jesus Christ talks about the essene communities that existed at that time. They were communities and they had certain beliefs and things. They record in their teachings how Jesus worked with them, and they record a story of how this man came up to Jesus who had this, I don’t know if it was leprosy or whatever, the illness was serious. And he was going on and on about all the negatives of it, and how da, da, da, da. And according to the essene, Jesus said, he wanted him to heal him and he said: “Bless you, but your illness has not served you yet.” And left, did not heal him. See? We have these things in our life because it could be a return of karma, that’s another thing from previous lives, or it can be a lesson that we knew when we came into this life. We worked on what our lives were going to be like, we agreed, okay, yeah, I have to do this, I have to meet that, I have to doubt about it, we have a plan. So sometimes, these things are things we teach us, that help us get over some of the chronic patterns in our psychology that we aren’t even aware of.
Kim Sutton: Bang, that’s it right there. What I went through taught me the confidence, and how to have value in what I do and who I am, that I had been lacking for the first seven years of my business. And all of a sudden, I do have my Christian faith. I like to say that God will nudge me only a number of times before he hits me with the two by four. And that was the two by four, that was the final awakening of–
Nancy Showalter: Exactly.
Kim Sutton: I am talking to you, are you finally listening to me? And I finally listened. Dang, it hurt a lot. But the gratitude that I have now is overwhelming. It still hurts. I gotta admit it, it still hurts because now I’m putting my pieces back together. And prior to putting the, I don’t think our puzzles are ever put together because the picture constantly changes.
Nancy Showalter: We evolve, we spiritually evolve. That’s our whole reason for being here, actually.
Kim Sutton: Absolutely. Nancy, I want to thank you because you’ve given me so much to think about today. I know you’ve given a lot to the listeners as well. Listeners, actually, I cut off my gratitude for you before I was finished with that thought. That’s how my brain works. But thank you so much for joining us today. Listeners, I would love to hear your AHA’s so be sure to head on over to thekimsutton.com/pp651 and leave your AHA’s down below the show notes. And while you’re there, make sure to head on over to Apple podcasts or to your favorite podcast listening platform and leave a rating and review for not only Positive Productivity but also make sure to subscribe, rate and review Spirituality for the Politically Incorrect.
Nancy Showalter: Yes, and I would like to offer a couple of gifts to your listeners. They can find everything from my podcast, my courses, whatever on nancyshowalters.com, you can get a lead there for everything. But I do have a free mini course, it’s called How To Speak Your Success: The Shocking Truth of How Your Words Impact Achieving Your Goals. I have also a free gift of, I wrote a book, It’s OK to Be Rich: The Entrepreneurs Guide to Increased Wealth And Personal Mastery. And I offer a free copy of my electronic copy of that book. It’s on Amazon too, if you want a hard copy. But both of those, they’re welcome to one or both. They can see also, I have a short course there, 3 Steps to Staying Spiritually Connected, and a larger course, Find Your Purpose and Fulfill Your Destiny: 5 Secrets for Revealing Your Unique Reason for Being. But the two free gifts are there, and they’re welcome to take advantage of that.
Kim Sutton: Amazing. Listeners, you can find all the links in the show notes at thekimsutton.com/pp651. Nancy, I know you already shared your parting piece of advice, but would you mind sharing it one more time because it was so awesome that I know it needs to be repeated.
Nancy Showalter: I will, because I love to share it and that is, know without a doubt, not just intellectually but know it and believe it in every fiber of your being, the power in you is greater than any power outside of you. And when you know that, know it, know it, know it really, then nothing can harm you. No matter what negative energy, no matter what negative circumstance comes, you can always bounce back because you know who you are.
