L.I.V.E B.E.T.T.E.R Framework Part 4- “E” for EXPECTATIONS

“You can accomplish anything you set your mind to but it will feel so much better when you’re not stressing yourself out in the process.” -Kim Sutton 

How do you feel at the end of the day when you look at your to-do list? Do you feel frustrated because you were not able to finish them all? Or do you go, “Nah! It’s fine!” Rarely do we say the latter. The reason? We tend to expect too much. 

This week, Kim discusses why we need to stop torturing ourselves with too many expectations and tips that can help us set reasonable and realistic expectations of ourselves and other people. She also shares how to manage our expectations in the business setting so we can maximize our productivity and protect our relationship with our team and the clients we work with.

Tune in for part 4 of the  L.I.V.E B.E.T.T.E.R Framework where Kim takes you on a fascinating transformational journey of Working Smarter Not Harder, one letter at a time!

Highlights:

01:32 “E” for Expectation
04:27 Stop Expecting Too Much
07:50 Your Expectation on Others
11:03 Minimize Expectation, Maximize Productivity

Resources

• Sign up for the  10-Day Work Smarter Not Harder Challenge
• Work Smarter Not Harder Podcast with Kim Sutton Episode 731: I’m Rebranding the Podcast!
• Work Smarter Not Harder Podcast with Kim Sutton Episode 732: L.I.V.E B.E.T.T.E.R Framework Part 1
• Work Smarter Not Harder Podcast with Kim Sutton Episode 733: L.I.V.E B.E.T.T.E.R Framework Part 2
• Work Smarter Not Harder Podcast with Kim Sutton Episode 734: L.I.V.E B.E.T.T.E.R Framework Part 3

Inspirational Quotes:

04:27 “We need to stop expecting too much for ourselves. There’s only so much that we can do in every single day.” -Kim Sutton

05:52 “You can accomplish anything you set your mind to but it will feel so much better when you’re not stressing yourself out in the process.” -Kim Sutton 

09:26 “We can only expect ourselves to do the best that we can. We need to stop placing unrealistic expectations on others.” -Kim Sutton

Meet Your Host!

Kim Sutton is a Business and Marketing Automation Mentor, Speaker, and Author. She is the host of the Positive Productivity Podcast. Having been through so much including depression, domestic violence, and lack of self-care, Kim’s mission is to help her clients be positively productive by empowering them to achieve success without the burnout. She believes that positive productivity stems from system+support+self-care. Positive productivity is not about perfection, it’s about having Prioritized Purposeful Actions. Today, Kim is out to help fellow entrepreneurs reclaim their lives and make their business work. 

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Are you expecting too much out of yourself and other people? In this episode, I’m going to talk about how we need to set reasonable expectations to make sure we are working smarter, and not harder. Stay tuned.

Today, we’re going to continue our discussion about the Live Better Framework of working smarter, and not harder, by discussing the first E in LIVE BETTER. 

In the last three episodes, we went over L which was Love. I, which was Integrity. And V, which is Vitality. And now, the first letter E stands for Expectations. This is going to be a fast episode because I want to make sure that you are really working smarter and not harder today. And I don’t want you to set unreasonable expectations on yourself, because trust me, that unnecessary stress is not going to help a damn thing. 

When it comes to podcasts, I just need to share this, there was one point where I was subscribed to maybe eight or 10, 15 or 20, different podcasts and my computer was getting so overloaded with episodes that I was running out of space to download anything I needed to do my work. I expected myself to listen to every episode that was downloaded before it was deleted from my computer, and with the expectation came so much stress. 

Every time I would listen to an episode where I got a great idea, I would try to implement that idea before I forgot about it. Do you know how that feels? Let me know. But rather than giving myself the freedom to just simply delete episodes, maybe peruse the library once a week, and see which episodes were put out by my favorite podcasters, not all of them, I was burdening myself with an unfair expectation of ingesting content that I didn’t necessarily even want to listen to. I found myself subscribing to podcasts and then feeling bad for unsubscribing because I didn’t like maybe one or two episodes. I thought: 

“Kim, you should just hold on. Keep on listening because maybe I’ll put out an episode in the future that has content that you really don’t want to miss.” 

FOMO anyone? That’s how my podcasts ended up getting to 15 or 20 that I was subscribed to. 

In full disclosure, at this point, I am subscribed to four podcasts, and I have turned downloads off. If I want to listen to an episode, I will go and download one episode, listen to it right away and be done with it. But I am not going to burden myself with unfair expectations for my time. That, some days, I can’t even figure out how to fit a shower in. If I can’t fit a shower so I don’t smell like you-know-what, Why should I be prioritizing other people’s podcasts which prohibit my ability to download stuff I need to for my work? We need to stop expecting too much for ourselves. There’s only so much that we can do in every single day, and if you’re anything like me, every single day comes with a few surprises of its own. 

For example, I’ve been batch recording podcasts right now, but I have kids who keep on texting and calling me, an activity which I thought would take 40 minutes has now turned into 2 hours and I have to be okay with that. If I were being unrealistic with my expectations for the day, I wouldn’t allow any leeway, and that’s what I used to do. I would get so stressed by creating a to-do list that was way too long, and at the end of the day, I would feel like I had gotten nothing done. In full disclosure, my to-do list is still probably too long every day, I have nine items on my list for today, and I may or may not get five or six of them done. But that feels so much better than it used to when I had 30 items on my list, and would maybe accomplish two. 

My friend, it is perfectly okay to have huge goals and dreams. But when you backwards engineer those goals and dreams, make sure your expectations of yourself are reasonable. You can accomplish anything you set your mind to, but it will feel so much better when you’re not stressing yourself out in the process.

Expectations on ourselves are one thing, but how about the expectations that you are imposing on other people? Are they reasonable? As a mom, I look back at the expectations that were imposed on me when I was in school, and consider how I want to reflect those forward towards my kids. I always want my kids to know that as long as they’re doing their best, that’s all I can hope for; that’s all I expect for them. What I love for them all to be on the honor roll? Yeah. But as long as they’re not slacking and playing video games before doing homework, I’m okay with that. I expect them to do their best, not get stressed. And that’s what I want for myself as well. I’ve had to learn how to incorporate this also into my marriage, which I struggled with big time a lot of the time. 

You heard a few episodes ago how my husband and I have had a tough year. We’re still having a tough year, honestly, even tougher than we were when I recorded that episode. I’ve had to let my Expectations of him go as far as our marriage is concerned, and I’ve had to let my Expectations for myself as far as our marriages are concerned go as well. At this point in our lives, both of us need to focus on becoming the best versions of ourselves possible, and stop worrying about what the other person is doing. 

We can only expect ourselves to do the best that we can, and we need to stop placing unrealistic expectations on others. 

Now, let’s talk about where expectations come into our businesses when other people are involved. As far as the team is concerned, the one expectation I have always had of my team members is communication. I don’t expect my team to be perfect because I don’t expect myself to be perfect. We all make mistakes. But if there’s a weather emergency, if something else happens, all I want is a heads up. “Hey, Kim, such and such went on. I’m going to be out today.” That is totally cool with me, when they disappear, however, that’s a problem! 

I can’t have disappearing team members. Where clients are concerned, I have contracts created to help me with my expectations of my clients and help them with their expectations of me. In my contract, it is clearly stated what my hours of operation are and when I expect to get paid. Respect for each other goes both ways. And when we have expectations clearly written out beforehand, we both know what we are walking into when we begin a working relationship with each other. 

Today, my assignment for you is to consider how, perhaps, you have been expecting too much out of yourself, your children, your significant other, your clients and/or your team members. And ask yourself what you can do to minimize the expectations to maximize your productivity, focus and spirit of accomplishment. 

I would love to hear what you come up with, so be sure to visit thekimsutton.com/podcast and leave a comment down below the show notes. Until the next episode, go work smarter not harder my friend.