PP 172: The Ripples after the Impact with Kimchi Chow
Quick Show Notes – Kimchi Chow
Kimchi shares the transformational journey she has been on, starting with unfortunate investment decisions through to becoming a personal and business coach. We also chat about how important it is to forgive ourselves for past mistakes, communicate with our significant others, recognize our feelings and desires, and take care of ourselves.Kimchi Chow and @thekimsutton chat about how important it is to forgive ourselves for past mistakes, communicate with our significant others, recognize our feelings and desires, and take care of ourselves. https://thekimsutton.com/pp172 #podcastClick To Tweet
Episode Transcription – Kimchi Chow
Kim Sutton: Welcome back to another episode of Positive Productivity. This is your host Kim Sutton and today I’m thrilled to have with us Kimchi Chow. Kimchi is a personal and business coach and a trainer for B.A.N.K.Code. She’s also the owner of Ripple Impact Coaching.
Welcome Kimchi. It’s so great to have you.
Kimchi Chow: Thank you. I’m very honored to be here. Kim,
Kim Sutton: Would you please share with the listeners a little bit more about your background and how you came to be where you’re at today?
Kimchi Chow: Sure. Yes. My background is a software engineer. I got trained in that area and worked in that area for about 15 years. Then I left that industry to stay home to take care, my, my teenager kids.
Kimchi Chow: At that time, I start learning to be an investor and start explore about coaching. So that’s lead me to here today.
Kim Sutton: I know that you had some ups and downs in the investing career that you had. Would you mind sharing more about that, and especially the transformational journey that you took after those ups and downs?
(Transcription still being cleaned up. Thanks for checking it out!)
Kimchi Chow: Yeah, those years, sometime is still haunt me until today, because of the decision I made during that time to know during those years, those was the peak year where, you know, economy was doing very well. And it seems I think it’s similar like right now you know, like housing is booming. Company companies start every single day business star pop up every corner around town.
Kimchi Chow: So my husband and I, we, we invest the money on other people, other people business, real estate deals, we loan people money, and so on and so forth. And it took a couple years to really find out if it works or not. And unfortunately, majority of them did not work out.
Kimchi Chow: So we lose a whole whole whole lot of money from our retirement. Yeah, at times before a couple years actually. I blame myself say why am I so stupid? Why did I drag my Why did I convince my husband to invest with with me and you know, with other people into other people’s deal
But out of that you learn how to forgive yourself.
Kimchi Chow: Yes, yes.
And I think that’s so important because there’s even in my own life, I have made stupid mistakes, but I didn’t realize they were stupid at the time. And we all make those mistakes. And we can go on blaming ourselves forever. Or we can give ourselves a break when we’re ready to we can’t force that but give ourselves a break and realize, okay, I made a mistake. So now it’s time to get on.
otherwise you know, you would not enjoy what’s ahead of you.
Kim Sutton: Oh, definitely. My first business was actually a online craft retail shop back when online stores were still pretty new, but they were taking off and I thought that if I had more inventory that I could do better, so I opened up credit card after credit card after credit card to keep on purchasing more inventory. And it got to be to the point of 10s of thousands of dollars. But seriously looking at my income during that time, I am not joking when I say I was probably making a quarter to a quarter, regardless of whether we’re investing in somebody else’s business or opportunity or our own, sometimes we take chances and they just don’t work out. But there’s always that learning to come out of it.
So how has that experience led you into your coaching today?
Kimchi Chow: Well, that experience actually is a small part, a small part of the area that led me to become a coach. Originally, what led me to become a coach was my relationship with my spouse. You know, I have been married now for 38 years.
Kim Sutton: Congratulations.
Kimchi Chow: Thank you. Yeah. And we of course, just like anything else, we have up and downs up and downs, right. And at the early on, when I was married, I realized that I was not happy. You know, we are very, very different. personality is very different. Our value is very different, even though both of us are Asian. Okay, this is very interesting, don’t you think? I thought, okay, I am Vietnamese, he is Chinese or Taiwanese. And we are Asian. So we should think the same we should, we should have the same values. But we did not.
Kimchi Chow: And because of that, I again, I blame myself I blame myself say What’s wrong with me? Am I why I cannot be a good wife. Why can I be happy with what I have? And rather than get out, do you know to have a divorce? I searching for a way to work it out, improve myself to find a way that I can communicate with him better so that he can understand me so that He, he see my values. All right. So, because of that, you know, I’m searching and take lots of seminars and self improvement and so on and so forth. And that led me to become a life coach. And I got certified in 2014 is the law of attraction life coach.
Oh, I love that. I love what you’re saying about communication as well. I’ve been married twice, and the first marriage had little to no communication except for fighting. There was no exchanging of ideas or have feelings. By the end. There was the exchange of feelings at the beginning, but we both had the habit of telling each other that the feelings are wrong and feelings aren’t wrong. Feelings are felt and maybe situation has been interpreted in a way that it wasn’t intended to be interpreted, but we always need to feel that freedom to express our feelings, whether it be to our spouse or Our kids or our clients, which is often the most difficult, but if we can’t have that open communication in both ways, then the relationship is likely going to fail. Yeah,
definitely. And that’s I think that’s majority of marriage breaking up because of communication. They they tend to be like, not talking anymore. And they think, oh, if we don’t talk, I mean, we don’t argue then that mean, everything is fine. But what I found out is when you don’t communicate, you no longer relate, no longer Connect. And that that link is as a partner, right partnership is start to lose. And pretty soon you just see what you just realize that you live with a stranger, and that’s not fun.
No, my husband and I noticed a lot when we go out to eat. We’ll look at other couples that are sitting around us, and we’ll see them not talking to each other, our on their phones. Mm hmm. And it’s amazing to us how people can be sitting at a meal together, especially at a restaurant, whereas it tends to take a little bit longer. And for the whole course of 30 to 45 minutes or longer, the only words that they really say to each other are are is Do you know what you want? And are you done? Are you ready to leave? I’m like, and it’s so sad, because we talk about everything in anything. And sometimes I feel like we need to stop talking about arcades, because we forget to talk about ourselves. I know that sounds that could sound strange to some people. But we get so caught up in our everyday lives talking about everything around us that we forget to talk about what’s going on with us even outside of work. What is your communication like with your husband now?
Well, I think we respect each other. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have disagreement But I, you know, we we are open for the input for the feedback. And when I communicate with him, of course I you know, as a law of attraction coach, right, you you attract what you, you think right so before, you know, let’s say if I’m upset about something he did before I’m like, pour out to him what’s in my mind? How am I feel or so on and so forth as I filtered it as they hold on, okay, what is the outcome that I want here? Right? Do I want to blame him? Or do I want to resolve this? Do I want to do have him see that I, what he did hurt me or do I want him to do something for me or something like that? Right. Based on that I will carefully talk to him about what’s important for him and what’s important for me so that he He will, he will see that he you know, of course, he will see that because I’m I’m always put him first. Do you know what I mean? Oh, absolutely.
I’ve actually had to tell my husband. And this is only a couple of times, but I am hurt or I am angry. But I need to step away for a little bit and think about what I’m feeling before I blow up. And it’s saved. Because I think a lot of the time people tend to react before they think we see it all over. We see people reacting. When they get cut off on the road. We see people reacting to a post they don’t like on social media, but they don’t end and even in the email, people react and they send back very hurtful words sometimes because they don’t just wait. If you’re not sure if you should say anything yet, or if you can feel your blood up in your eyebrows. Then push pause and I know that’s hard. Trust me. I know that’s hard. My kids tested every single day. Yeah, it would be great if there was a pause button on life sometimes.
Maybe we can use it to say freeze.
Yeah, freeze that right so maybe yeah you know you and I can share that say hey freeze so I mean we’re not talking for a minute as all let you know recollect outside recollect what we want to work out here and, and then Express.
Oh, I like that I’m gonna add to start trying that with my kids tonight especially my littles and I have three, my oldest son littles is four and my twins are two and a half,
two and a half and twin a while.
Yes, we thought we were done. God bless and said here’s twins. Yeah, and then we also have teenagers. So yeah, I don’t know that freeze will work with the teenagers but I definitely freeze internet I’m just what When did you become introduced? To the law of attraction, and how did that change your life,
I think is 2013. So it has changed my life. Because I know that we attract what we think. Right? And I’m the type that always challenge always challenge what I read, or what I read, don’t have to you know, I had to read an ad and test it out. And once I see the results for myself or I witness with my eyes, then I believe it. So it has transformed my life completely. I believe in karma, right. I believe in destiny, some some time, you know, each of us have a destiny in life. And before the law of attraction is that well, you know, that’s the that’s your life. You know, this is you know, or you either become very rich, disliked Or you become very poor this live and there’s nothing you can do about it. But as I learn about the law of attraction, I know that we can change it we can change based on our action, every day, every moment, right. And we even though the we have the destiny, but we can modify that and it change the outcome. Destiny is basically is a circumstances will happen to you, but it’s up to you to react to it to act on it. If you act on it the normal way, of course it will go certain way. But if you act on it with the conscious way, with the positive energy with the positive action, then it will lead to not a pass and the outcome will be different. So that’s what I believe now.
I was very skeptical. myself when I was introduced to law of attraction, I had walked around for three decades with a dark cloud over my head. And people would say a compliment, and I would poopoo it, you know, whatever. But I had just gotten myself into a place where I wasn’t happy, like really ever. And I know that’s really sad. But it’s, it’s true. And then I realized after I was introduced, that I have the power, and I don’t know how it just happened on that day that I was introduced, that I was able to accept it. Because sometimes you have to be introduced to things multiple times before you’re willing to accept and listen and implement into your in life. Perhaps it was just the circumstances of that day. But I wish I knew what that exact date was because it changed my life forever. I realized I have the right to be happy and I have the power to be happy. And that’s not to say that we don’t have bad days still, but what we choose to do, just as you were saying him to you when something happens that we weren’t planning on how we take Take that circumstance or situation and run forward with it. Don’t let it roll you down a hill, take it up the hill and find yourself in a better place than you were before. So how are you? You said you were certified to be a law of attraction life coach? Yes. How do you take this and help people in their lives to reach the next level?
I don’t say myself as a life coach or the law of attraction coach anymore. Now I help I work with people to help them improve their relationship, whether the relationship in their family with their spouse with the children or relationship within their company. So that’s how I see that I can contribute. You know, of course, you know, the relationship stemming from relationship with self first right? relationship with others stem from the relationship with yourself. If you are happy if you are taking care of yourself, you would be able to take care of others.
yeah, I focus in relationship. And actually what I, my projects. What I’m driving next is I want to help Asian women to step up and step out to live the life that they want to live. Not the life that it was expecting of them.
What is typically expected? Is there a typical Yep.
Especially the first ad immigrant or first generation, the typical expectation for Asian women is to be married to be a good wife, a good mom, a good daughter in law to be over serving. Yeah, so basically, you know, it’s a good house. Wife basically taking, you know, taking good care of the house and be a good cook.
You know those things,
I mean, whether you’re Asian or any other ethnicity, and I look back at the housewives of the 1950s. And earlier, you know, the same sort of expectations were there. However, we can still be a good wife and a good mother, without giving up ourselves and our beliefs and our morals and our dreams. And I think this is something that even not just women, but even men struggle with as well because even men are, you know, they’re expected to be the good husband and the breadwinner and the contributor financially to the household. Unfortunately, I think that stigma is still attached to so many men in their minds that they don’t realize that even they have the right to pursue a dream, such as entrepreneurial dream that doesn’t necessarily follow the quote. Typical expected path but I love that you’re that you’re helping Asian women break out of that expected mold. And thank you.
Yeah, I realized that
Kimchi Chow: I would say Asian is very, you know, the the old traditional ways very similar to American way but the old time American has been progressing moving forward, right so more and more women step up to be a leader. You know they happy to be a leader could be the breadwinner, and they happy to do what they are called to do, rather than agree or what rather than live the life that was expecting of them from their parents, right? Where is Asian women we still have that we just like start start to crack out that mole and I want to really give a big jam. to mow and break it, I say this is the time to break it out, break out that mall and just live the life that you want to live. Because I think when I talk to Asian women live is about sacrifice. They You know, when they were young, yes, they they are free, they do whatever they want. But if when they married, okay, their destiny is to serve their husband and their children. That’s the number one priority. And then of course, you know, after the children will be the parent in law, that’s a very, very high priority in life, not about pursue the life that they want to pursue not about living American dream and do what you like. You know that there’s no such thing. It’s really hard for me to hear all the women, especially Asian women, they keep saying that live is about sacrifice. I sacrificed this I sacrificed us for my husband for my children. For my parent because they expected of me. It really make me upset and sad at the same time.
If you had to take that sentence life was about sacrifice. And say life is about input one word in there. What would your one word be
I like experience. That’s awesome. Yeah. What would you like to experience yet and your life
everyone will have different way different thinking about what they want to experience? I for me, oh, experience to be on a podcast experience to to have a podcast show to interview somebody famous or non famous with a leader in a community, an experienced do Speak on stage as small or large an experience to do skydiving to see what’s it like to to have a free free flowing right experience that that’s what life is about experience doing something that is not expected of you that you have not tasted yet
who I love that kimchi and Episode 146. with Jonathan do he said we should be more concerned with who we are and not what we are, who do you want to be?
I want to be looked as the leader in my community. I want to be a good model for my children. I want to be a good partner to my husband. And I want to be a good citizen. I want to be a good sister in my family. I want to be a Good friend to all my friends and I want to be somebody who give without expectation.
What legacy Would you like to leave in one sentence?
One sentence? Thank you not not one word. Okay? I think my legacy is my children. Okay, not not about the money I’m gonna leave for them, but it’s about my children and about the value that I have transmitted to them. The legacy of honor blue with integrity, and live a full and happy life. That’s a legacy I want to pass on.
Kimchi to you have a vision board.
Kimchi Chow: Not right now. I used to make wine
and you know, it’s not like a board that I make but I like I put on paper and I put it somewhere when I was doing the law of attraction, but not at all.
Yeah, I don’t know where it is. Or maybe that’s very good reason. Maybe it wasn’t the right visions, right? Yeah. My first vision board was torn apart by my children. And it’s actually a great thing. Because it was very materialistic. Uh huh. Yeah. And it wasn’t, that was something else that Jonathan do brought up in his episode. I wasn’t thinking at that point. And I created this new vision board before actually my chat with him. But I wasn’t thinking about who I wanted to be and what I wanted my life to be like outside of the material objects. And unfortunately, I think that a lot of people get wrapped up in the things that they want in their life and not how they want to feel and not the impact that they want to be making. And also in the legacy that they want to leave in focusing on the material objects isn’t going to help us feel any better, or make a bigger impact or build that legacy. Unless you’re trying to build a legacy that’s all about materialism, then sure. Great. So what is your suggestion?
Kim have a vision board,
have a vision board and wow I feel like the interview was turned around on me. This is awesome. I want to create the vision board of how you want to feel attract the way that you want to feel in your life attract the impact that you want to create and the legacy that you want to leave and have that in front of you all the time have that be are focused, thank you for that.
I think it’s a little bit harder to find a picture that can express the feeling and impact. Another thing that we feel and the movement we want to make, right?
But it is so hard I will not deny that I tore up three years of my magazines to fill in this board and it’s not even complete yet. There are a whole bunch of blank spaces. I was using however small business and Entrepreneur Magazine like Inc in Fast Company and entre Those are just the magazines that I subscribe to. And the big headlines, the big headline did. I’m making up words now. But the headlines were not about impact from what I could see it, they were about boosts your marketing, increase your revenue, how I worked 40 hours a week. And it’s great. Those are great for their audience. But for the legacy and the impact that I want to make, and the feeling that I want to feel, those magazines don’t have headlines like loved and treasured and prized, you know, memories. They just aren’t out there. So maybe we need to make our own headlines.
Yeah, go to google search google image, maybe type in those words, and see what can it come up
with nors if you have a law of attraction magazine, or any other type of publication that could be useful to listeners to create a vision board like this Please visit the show notes page where you can also find links to contact kimchi at that KIM SUTTON comm forward slash p p 172. I would love to know the magazines out there that have that type of headline me to kimchi. This has been a completely enlightening conversation. I’ve enjoyed every moment of it. Where can listeners learn more about you about the work that you’re doing and get in touch with you?
Yeah, I would be happy to talk with them.
Kim Sutton: Fabulous. And again, listeners. The URL to Kimchi’s website and her email address will be in the show notes, which again are located at thekimsutton.com/pp172.
Kimchi, thank you again for joining us today. It’s been amazing. Do you have a last words of inspiration that you can offer the listeners?
Kimchi Chow: What do you want to experience today?
That’s my last word.