PP 240: Self-Care is a Necessity with Joie Cheng

Quick Show Notes – Self-Care is a Necessity with Joie Cheng

“Self care is not a luxury. It’s a necessity.”

Joie Cheng went through a dark period in her 20’s when she was severely depressed and suicidal. After finding herself in an abusive relationship, she realized she was lacking self-love and wasn’t following her purpose. Today she helps clients learn how to love themselves and live a life of joy.

We chat about the fear of being single, the Law of Attraction, the realization that abusers and bullies are experiencing their own pain, gratitude, forgiveness and more.

After finding herself in an abusive relationship, @selflovehealer realized she was lacking self-love and wasn't following her purpose. Listen as she chats with @thekimsutton about the pain bullies are experiencing, gratitude, forgiveness and more: https://thekimsutton.com/pp240Click To Tweet

Resources Mentioned

Marianne Williamson Quote:

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us…There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you…We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

Episode Transcription – Self-Care is a Necessity with Joie Cheng

Transcript not yet cleaned up but thanks for checking it out!

Welcome back to another episode of positive productivity. This is your host KIM SUTTON and I’m so happy that you are here to join us today. I’m also thrilled to introduce our guest Joie Cheng. Joie is the CEO and founder of illuminate your self love. Joie, Welcome.

Joie Cheng: Thanks, Kim. It’s an honor to be here with you.

Well, it’s an honor to have you I, I loved meeting you a few months back, and I can’t wait until you share your journey with the listeners. So with that I know I’ve given a brief introduction, but would you mind sharing your journey?

Joie Cheng: Sure. So my journey began, when I was in my 20s, I went through a really dark period, and I was really depressed and even suicidal, and I ended up in an abusive relationship. And, you know, as at that point in my life, when I realized that I didn’t love myself, and that that was why, you know, I was in that relationship for so long. It was on and off for four and a half years. And it was a really, you know, difficult time because before that, when I was depressed, I didn’t have anything that made it seem that way. You know, like, there was nothing that had happened in my life. It wasn’t like I had somebody die that was really close to me or a really horrible breakup.

Joie Cheng: My life seemed good on the outside. I had a good job I had, you know, family and friends. loved and supported me in a boyfriend and, but I wasn’t, you know, I wasn’t loving myself and I wasn’t living my purpose. And that’s what I realized later, you know, during the process was that I needed to learn to love myself and I started realizing that I had a gift as a healer, and really understanding that, you know, we aren’t just physical beings having spiritual experiences, but that we’re spiritual beings having human experiences and understanding that, that our thoughts are, you know, they’re just thoughts. They’re not the truth of who we are. So that really began a journey for me of learning how to love myself and the universe started bringing opportunities and for me to learn how to do that. So that’s what I help people do today is to love themselves so that they can really create the life that they desire.

Joy, I wish I had met you 10 years ago. But everything happens for a reason, right? Like we make those realizations when we do for a reason, because that’s when it’s supposed to happen. But I so many of you, you used you in my life then and I have to share for listeners who don’t know, and I don’t know, Joe, if you know I was in an abusive marriage relationship for 13 Yours I was married for seven. And the day that I was introduced to the law of attraction, and learned that I had the right to be happy and the power to control my own happiness and to love myself, change my whole life. And to know how your realization came about.

Joie Cheng: Yeah, so I you know, and I love the law of attraction. I’ve, you know, watched the movie The secret and read the book. And, you know, for me, it was really when I discovered the healing modality that I do with my clients. Now. It’s called matrix energetics. And so when I went to a seminar, this was while I was in that abusive relationship, I actually went with my boyfriend at the time. And, you know, it really opened my eyes to a different perspective and started I started questioning these beliefs that I had had because I had had these beliefs around, you know, my happiness. For example, I had this belief that, you know, if I just got married, I’d be happier or if I was single, I’d be miserable. And I started questioning them and I said to myself, you know, how do I know that if I get married, I’ll be happier. I mean, I’m sure there’s a lot of you know, happy or a lot of married people that are not happy. You No, and I’m like on how do I know that if I am single, I’m gonna be miserable. What if being single was the best thing that I ever did. So I just, you know, as soon as I started flipping those beliefs, it really opened up a space for possibility for something else. And so that gave me the courage then to say, you know what, I need to end this relationship and I need to learn to love myself. And because I had been in relationships, I’d had a pattern of being in long term relationships and really not being happy, but being afraid of being alone. And so that was the point when I made that decision that I needed to learn to be single and be happy being single and not get into another relationship unless I just wanted to get to know that person, you know, not out of any kind of fear of being alone. That was really the turning point in my life when I realized that I needed to learn to love myself.

Wow. My ex husband was actually my high school sweetheart. And technically my first boyfriend even though I had had you know, those quote Middle School boyfriends who were Middle School boyfriends, you know, it’s not the same but I do believe that I went through some of that same you know, I was afraid about that. Single, but I didn’t really have the self respect. And I’ve seen that even with family members, I’ll be more specific because I know they’re not listening. And I know that might not be fair, but nieces who got into relationships and were convinced that this was their chance to be in a committed loving relationship. And they were so they were so scared to leave that they were not seeing the bigger better opportunities out there. Everything that life had in store in it’s so unfortunate seeing what has actually happened in their lives as a result of committing to the boy instead of their own self love and success and happiness. So Bravo to you to see that. I think it’s really ironic, though, that you went with your boyfriend of the time.

Joie Cheng: Yeah, well, you know, to be honest, like I went through this time where I actually went from being angry when I broke up with him because I even though you know, it wasn’t a healthy relationship. I still didn’t want to break up with him and I felt like I had no choice because he wasn’t returning my calls and texts and he had moved on. away and just kind of like left me, you know, in Chicago where we were at and, and so but you know, then I went from being angry to a complete place of gratitude, you know, and he actually, I mean, there were so many things that I grew from that experience and learned and he opened me up to so many opportunities. One of them, like I mentioned, is the healing modality that I do with my clients and realizing that I have a gift as a healer, and he opened me up to vegan and raw food and just a like, really different perspective on life. And so I truly am grateful for that experience. And it was just an amazing experience for both of us. I mean, he actually was abused as a baby, and he didn’t even know it. And his mom mentioned that when we got together during the time that we were together, and so he got to realize that about his past and, and you know, and I knew that for me, I think one of the things that I was really grateful for is that I had the awareness that when he would say things to me that it wasn’t about me, you know, like, I just knew that like there was nothing that I had said or done that had warranted in my mind, the reaction that he gave me and so I was really Be grateful that I didn’t do that. Because I think a lot of times it can be easy to, you know, to internalize the abuse that we experience, right for us to think, oh, there must be something wrong with me. And it really isn’t about, you know, like, I share this in my book, but it’s really not about the person that’s being abused. You know, it’s really about the other person and they’re projecting their pain onto you. And so doing your best to understand that it isn’t about you.

That is such an important pointer. And I can see that even with bullies that I encountered in high school in middle school, and even in my ex, they had all gone through some pain themselves. If they weren’t bullied, they went through their own pains, and they and they projected it. Have you found forgiveness for him?

Joie Cheng: Yeah, I mean, I definitely have and it really wasn’t that difficult, I think because I could see the gifts and the gratitude in it. You know, and we still like keep in touch and, and yeah, there’s just no, there’s no like anger there anymore. There’s just love really and gratitude wouldn’t

go so far as to say there Love between my ex husband and I. But we communicate better now today than we ever did while we were together, which I find amusing at times. How did you come to write the Naked Truth?

Joie Cheng: Well, so, you know, I, I wish I could say that it was something that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. But it actually wasn’t. I never actually thought I was going to write a book. It was never a dream of mine. Just really like a few years ago, I was sitting at a seminar and I was hearing the speaker, his name’s James McNeil, and he was on stage talking about, you know, how when we die if we don’t have our story written down, that it gets lost in the world forever, that basically nobody could ever tell our story the way we would. And so that really planted a seed and really touched my heart and made me start thinking about what’s the legacy that I want to leave? And so, you know, then it took a few years, you know, I had a plan to really see a plan but a date to have my book done. This was in 2014. So 2015 I said, Okay, may 15. of 2015. So 51515 I thought that would be a great day to have my book out. But I didn’t really have a plan. You know, I just I just had the date. And then of course, that the date came. And when I saw it on my Google Calendar, I’m like, Oh, I was gonna publish my book on that date, but I hadn’t actually started it. And so then this year, I said, Okay, I’m gonna do this, you know, I’m going to write my book this year, and I put 71717 on my calendar, July 17 2017. But I actually had a plan this time, I hired an editor, which was the, you know, the biggest thing that I did to really make sure I had that financial and you know, time investment. And so really, like, my first goal with my book was to share my story to you know, talk about, you know, everything on my journey of self love, and obviously, not just like the positive but the quote unquote negative, which I don’t really think is negative, but you know, the pain and the struggle and all the lessons that I’ve learned. And then the second piece of it was too as a tool for my business because that is what I do with my clients as well. But really, the first goal for me was to inspire other people. My goal is that I hope that through my story and inspires other people to There’s because I do think that we all have amazing stories we’ve all gone through, you know, really unique experiences. And even if we’ve gone through similar experiences, we have a unique perspective. And so, you know, I hope that my story inspires other people to share theirs because I really think that it does create so much healing in the world when we’re able to really authentically vulnerably share a story with others.

Joie, how do you think that parents can help their children embrace self love? I mean, even my four year old will tell us about how her friends don’t like her or won’t like her shirt. And I’m shocked to hear this from a four year old because I can’t remember caring about comments. I just can’t remember caring when I was four year old about things like that. And then on the flip side, I have a high schooler, you know, who gets very wrapped up and I’m concerned about them. All my kids about self love. Do you have any recommendations on how we can help our children embrace us?

Joie Cheng: Yeah, I mean, I think that, you know, it could depend on the age but like having an honest conversation with them about Like, well, you know, the truth is like, not everyone’s gonna like you or things about you, you know, and it’s okay. Because as long as you like yourself, you know, and like just talking to them about it in that way, I think. And also, of course, like kids do follow like a lot of what the parents do, right? And so, like making sure that you’re modeling that in terms of the way that you are speaking about yourself, you know, that you’re not saying like things like when you look in the mirror about yourself or to them about about you that are negative so that they’re not picking up on that, because they do really model what we do, you know, absolutely. I was actually listening to a podcast this week. And it was from around Thanksgiving time, which we’re passing skimming, let’s just be honest. But instead of focusing on gratitude for the world around us, the podcasts are and I apologize if you’re listening, I don’t remember who I was listening to, was talking about how we even need to be grateful for qualities about ourselves in Rather than stopping at three very abstract, I am grateful for items like making a big long list like 25 to 30. So that you do start giving yourself appreciation for your own qualities. So I love what you just said, because I might have to start doing that with my kids, you know, the appreciation and the gratitude practice so that they can start looking inwardly at what they love about themselves. So you just learned that Thank you. I hadn’t even thought about it with my kids, when I was listening to that episode, but you just sort of wrapped it all up. Yeah, no, I think that’s great. And I think that the earlier you can do that, for sure. And just, I mean, I think, you know, I see the way my sister and her husband are with their girls and they just are constantly pouring them love and you know, I’m like, if they have any confidence issues, like it’s not because of them, you know, when they get older because they are just so like loved and, you know, and that’s something I actually didn’t we didn’t really receive from our mom growing up. And so I think that, you know, that was a part of my journey, as well as learning how to do that for myself. But yeah, I think that there’s you can’t ever start that too early.

We have so many things to talk about off mic someday. I’m just gonna leave it there. I love my parents. for them. My parents were divorced when I was young, but there were definitely challenges growing up. So yeah, and if they’re listening, I don’t want to pull it in here. I love you all. What’s what type of daily practices Do you have set up to make sure that you are giving yourself self care and self love?

Joie Cheng: Yeah, so one of my practices, I mean, I do my best to meditate every day and not completely perfect with that, but that’s always the goal, right? And then as part of my meditation practice, I do a gratitude practice. So I sit and I just think of like, what am I grateful for right today in my life, and some days I mean, it’s really, you know, comes down to the most basic things right? And I’m grateful for this roof above my head. I’m grateful for, you know, having money for food to eat or you know, just like and then other things as well. But really just that really helps to stay focused on what I have in my life, rather than it’s so easy for us to get focused on, you know what we don’t have, right. And so that really helps to stay grounded. And then, you know, I do self care, that’s a big thing for me as well, I work out every day, I do yoga five times a week, and I get massages every month. And you know, this is something that I tell my clients is to make sure that they schedule that time into the calendar, because it’s really easy if we don’t do that to, to not make it a habit or a commitment, you know, and so when I literally have my massage on my calendar, so and that’s something that I, you know, really look forward to. And I know that it’s not for me, it’s really not a luxury and I don’t think self care is a luxury, you know, it’s really a necessity that a lot of us tend to overlook, but it’s so important so that way that we can really be our best self and show up as our best self, you know, for our clients or our family or loved ones. Yeah, and then you know, of course eating healthy too and getting enough sleep and

you know, all of that. I don’t know what happened to me last week, but I was walking through the grocery and well, I knew that I didn’t know what I want. To cook my case for dinner, I don’t like to cook. I’m a horrible cook. I just didn’t know what I wanted. So all of a sudden, a display of avocados basically shot themselves out in front of me. And it pulled me right in. I did not realize and in one of my previous episodes I, I shared that I was actually interviewing a prospective business coach from the McDonald’s drive thru, which is totally unhealthy. Not I mean, but it was a it was pure proof of my lack of time management and self care because I hadn’t provided the time to myself to actually go to the grocery But did you know this totally off topic from self love? Well, maybe not. To avocados have as many calories as a big man, but so many nutrients?


Yeah, I didn’t know that. And wow, I got home with my two avocados and eat them because they were just so delicious. And then I was curious. So I looked up the nutritional value is that the right expression of avocados and looked up Big Macs, and I was blown. away. So I’m sort of on an avocado kick right now. Yeah. I want to avocado tree, which isn’t really feasible in Ohio when it’s 22 degrees outside.

Joie Cheng: Yeah, not so much

in transitioning out of that relationship in into relationship since then I’m making an assumption that there have been relationships since then. Did you do anything to ensure that future relationships were successful? I mean, and let me just share listeners have heard this before. I’m sorry listeners, but I actually made a soulmate spec sheet that any guy that I was going to date or marry in the future after my first husband had to meet these criteria. Did you set up anything like that to make sure that you’re self love and that your qualities were protected? I guess I should say

Joie Cheng: Well, I mean, I, I have, like I’ve made, you know, those lists of like, this is what I want, right in a partner. And I think that, like, the relationship that I had after that one, you know, the one of the things that made it really, like, I think the biggest thing that made it different was this energy that I was going into it with. Because, you know, again, I made that decision and said, Okay, I’m not going to get into another relationship out of a fear of being alone, it’s really going to come from wanting to get to know this person better, and not from like, anything that they could give me either, because I had, like, had some boyfriends were, you know, really wasn’t happy with where I was living. And so I think that, you know, having somebody that had a nice place that it was kind of this draw, like, Oh, well, I can, you know, stay with them. And, and so, like, I had to really be honest about like, my intentions going into that relationship. And I think that because of that, like the energy was so different, and he actually really like helped me learn to love myself unconditionally, because there were things that you know, like I had asked asked him one time I said, what, you know, like, What do you like about me? And he gave me a list of things and one of the in some of the things he said, I was like, in my mind thinking, Oh, I don’t I think those are very good things. And then when I said that to him, and he’s like, well, I don’t see them as negative, like, I just see them as part of you. And so it really made me start thinking, Okay, well, if he can love these things about me, maybe I should, you know, start loving these things about me too. And so yeah, I think that it really helped me to, to come from a different energy into the relationship. And, you know, I think that every relationship, even if it doesn’t work out, like we can learn so much from every relationship, right. So I don’t think that any relationship is a failure. Unless you see it that way. But I don’t see anything like that.

Joie, what did you want to be when you were little?

Joie Cheng: So I wanted to be a therapist. I just knew that like, ever since I was a kid. I knew I was here for something bigger than myself. I don’t know if that sounds like cheesy or something. But I just I always knew that. And my parents did go through a divorce when I was young, and between like eight and 10 years old. And so that opened me up to the world of therapy. And you know, that’s why I wanted to do that because we had seen different therapists. And I thought, Oh, well, you know, all you got to do is listen to people talk about their problems. That seems like easy. And I don’t know, and I got to see them work from home. One of the therapists work from home and I thought that was cool. And another therapist worked like in this office in Manhattan, and it looked like, you know, she had a lot of money. I was like, oh, that seems cool. And so yeah, that’s what I wanted to do. I wanted to have my own practice, and I wanted to do family and marriage therapy. So you know, I haven’t kind of moved too far from that. Similar, you know, helping people.

No, definitely. And you have your Master of Social Work.

Joie Cheng: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, I can definitely see how that plays in. And I mean, play in the best way, but totally plays into what you do today. I mean, you might not call yourself a therapist, but it’s, you are definitely I can see where the congruency is definitely there. I have my degree in interior architecture. There’s no concurrency there. Right. What is your vision for the next three years in your life?

Yeah, it’s like I definitely know my next year. Yeah, it’s like, okay, three years, I would love to, I mean, just be able to share my story with, you know, as many people as possible. I see myself traveling and sharing my story, being on stage, and really helping as many people as possible to live their best life, inspiring them to share their stories. And I also see myself doing my own podcast as well, and being able to reach you know, millions of people through that platform. And I don’t know, it’s hard to imagine three years out, actually.

Yeah, don’t flip the question around on me, please.

I know where I want to go. And then in the next 12 months, but the next 12 months will determine where we go and the next 30 are in the next 24 and oh, maybe who knows everything could change in the next 90 days for both of us. So all we need is that one opportunity, like that event that you went to, that’s just spark the rest? Mm hmm. What legacy Would you like to leave?

Joie Cheng: I mean, I feel like I am leaving it already. But it’s really like just the legacy of, of loving yourself and knowing that you are, you know, really the divine being, and we don’t just have a physical body. But you know, it’s like we, I do believe that we live forever. Because, you know, my, the healing work that I do is based on quantum physics. And it’s based on the idea that everything is energy and that energy can’t be destroyed, that it can only be transformed. And so I really do think that we are souls that live forever, and that were just in these bodies for a temporary period of time. And so, you know, my hope is that my legacy is that people know the truth of who they are, that they are eternal souls, and that, you know, we really have the ability to do anything that we want, and that the only thing that stops us is the, you know, our monkey mind or critic inside us, that tells us that we can’t, a lot of times, that is from, you know, it can be from our parents to or from society and other things like that. But just knowing that that’s not the truth of who we are.

Just this year I read the power of I am by Joel Osteen. And it inspired me to make an IM list for myself, which is totally not really talked about in the book at all. But when I’m having those stressful moments when I’m doubting myself when I’m upset about whatever’s going on in the day, in that that makes it sound like it happens a lot, but it really doesn’t. I have my whole Im list memorized, to remind myself that I am greater than whatever obstacle I’m facing that I can pull through it. I had to be totally transparent. Most the time when I’m rehearsing this, it’s when my kids are screaming in the back of the car and I’m just like ready to pull my hair. But we can overcome anything that comes her way. And just is that self doubt and the inner critic that often stops us where we are. I actually had a discussion with my husband just this past week. About how Have you been scared to release my book? Because what if people don’t like it? Well, who cares? You know? And and he actually said the same to he’s a video game developer, you know, what if people don’t like it, but how do we know unless we get it out there? I was actually just sent a phone call where the gentleman I was speaking with brought up a Marianne Williamson quote, something about how and this is so horrible listeners, I will put it in the show notes which you can find it KIM SUTTON calm forward slash p p 240. That there is that inner message that we are meant to share. And it’s an I’m so getting it wrong. I’m not reading it right now. But we are doing a disservice to the world around us if we do not share it. So it’s amazing that you are sharing this with the world. And I just want to thank you for that.

Joie Cheng: Yeah, thank you. And I can’t wait to see your book and to read your book when it comes out. And yeah, I think that, you know, it’s so easy for us to say Well, yeah, what if people don’t like it? But what if they do, right? Like, what if you actually, you know, like people love it? And what if it changes one person’s life? Like, is it worth it? Right? And that was my intention was like with my book, if just one person if I can help one person, if I can change one person’s life like that I will be so grateful for doing, you know, writing the book,

that is exactly where I was with positive productivity. And then I received my first thank you. And it just blew me up. I mean, it felt so great that I had touched just that one person, and I didn’t take it to two. I’ve sort of removed the number limit. Well, I guess not. I’d love to receive the second. Just putting it out there that I hadn’t come in yet. Listeners you are welcome to the website, and I’m sure joy would love to hear that as well. But yeah, that is my biggest struggle came from chasing income to pursuing impact. And it was such a great shift. And you were already mentioning, you know, you saw the social worker who had a fabulous office and was making lots of money but Sometimes that just doesn’t matter. It’s the impact that you’re making and not the money and the money will follow if you’re really making the biggest impact. Mm hmm. What is one of the biggest unexpected lessons that you’ve learned on your entrepreneurial journey?

Joie Cheng: You said unexpected lessons or blessings?

Actually, I would love to I actually, I said, lessons, but I’d love to know blessings as well.

Joie Cheng: Hmm unexpected lessons. Um, I mean, I think that I’m sure you probably agree to but it’s the entrepreneur journey is the greatest personal spiritual, like, you know, development journey you could ever go on. Right? It brings up all of our stuff. So it’s like a question. Like, I don’t know.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot there, though. They won’t ask anything confrontational, but then these questions just pop up in my brain and blue. I can’t help it. They just flow out of my mouth.

Joie Cheng: I think it’s really trusting your intuition. You know, there’s like, I mean, it’s so it can be so easy to get in our heads about things. And I mean, of course, you know, so many people are out there and it can get so confusing because I feel like there’s so much out there that is like, okay, you should do this if you want to get clients or do this or like, and some of us just it. I mean, it’s information overload, you know. And so I think for me, it’s really learning how to trust what feels right for me. And that’s such a big thing. Because if you do something, and then it doesn’t work, then it’s easy for us to say, Oh, well, again, maybe maybe I did it wrong, or there’s something wrong with me rather than Well, maybe that’s just not in alignment for me. You know, I know, it’s hard for me to like, follow a sales script because it just doesn’t feel authentic and even be on the other end of it. Like I’ve been on calls with coaches where I can tell that they’re reading a script, and I’m just thinking like, Are you serious? Like, I just can’t like, it doesn’t work for me. And I know that doesn’t work for other people as well. So I think that’s like a really big thing is just trusting your intuition.

I have been there myself. I completely agree.

Yeah, as far as blessing, I think, you know, this book has been such a big blessing for me in terms of like opportunities, you know, even before. I think just shortly after my book came out, I put an invite out, you know, for my book launch party and I had a woman contact me that I had been in her she has like a women’s networking group and I had been a member for about a year but I hadn’t gone to she has a monthly luncheon and I haven’t gone to her luncheon for almost a year I just started going in the beginning and then I kind of stopped and was really focusing on my book for a while and she reached out to me and said, You know, I would love to have you come to our next lunch and and bring copies of your book and I’d love to have you, you know, speak at this other circle that I do. And I was like, wow, like nothing had changed, you know, other than I had written a book and and there’s just like other opportunities as well that people have asked me to speak and you know, doing these podcasts and I mean, just so much has has opened up for me and so it was honestly it was a lot at first like I was like trying to I didn’t really stay grounded because It was so much energy and it was easy for me to think Wow, so amazing. But I had to actually tell myself, okay, like Humble yourself, you know, I’m like, just not get like to let it get to my head too much. But just to just go back to gratitude, like, wow, I’m so grateful for these opportunities to make the impact, like you said, you know, really is about like making that impact in the world and really helping people and, and, of course, yeah, the money, you know, comes from that, right? So,

I love that coming back to gratitude and staying humble. I’m going to borrow that from you. Because it needs to happen all the time. And I can see so many entrepreneurs on social media who get really big headed when they have big launches. And it’s unfortunate, but you know, they have six figure seven figure launches and all of a sudden, they’re not approachable, you know, they’re, they’re out of the league. But I think if we could all embrace that spirit of humbleness and gratitude, then the entrepreneurial community, as a whole would be a lot easier to digest because I’ve noticed I don’t enjoy. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there seems to be, especially recently a shift happening where people are less concerned about showing their successes than they are about being real. And I think it’s time that that shift, completely rollover. Right? I think we all should be very proud of our successes. But I don’t think that we need to blast them out to social media. I mean, don’t get me wrong when we published our book. Yeah, that needs to go out. And when it makes number one, wherever, yeah, that needs to go out. But at a certain point, we have to remember that the community may not be there yet. So we need to stay humble for the purpose. And I know listeners you could disagree and if you do, you can always go to the website and tell me but I think that the spirit of humbleness will help our community feel more connected. Joie if you re I’d love to hear or agree.

Joie Cheng: I think that Yeah. I mean, I think it’s, there’s a bit of a fine line or it’s both because I think that a lot of times, you know, and we can, sometimes it’s hard for us to even say like to celebrate our success, right? Because we don’t want people to think like that we’re bragging, you know, and, and I do think that it is important to celebrate, but also to be humble and to have gratitude because to realize that everything comes from source, I believe from God, and that we’ve given our gifts from God. And so it really isn’t like us doing it. It’s really us allowing being the channel allowing the gifts to flow through us.

And so it’s remembering that it’s not actually us that’s doing the work, you know, if that makes sense. And so yeah, I would say it’s both and I think that I think definitely like vulnerability, authenticity. Can you know, true, that’s the connection that we all crave. And that’s, you know, that’s what I did with my book.

Joie Cheng: I was really vulnerable in it. And, I mean, I definitely had definitely had a lot of fear come up at first when people started reading it, because, you know, I knew people were gonna read it, but it’s like a different experience when you really when people start asking reading it, and you’re like, Oh, my God, people are actually reading this, you know, and then all this stuff comes up around like, oh, does a sock, is it actually a good book? It’s, you know, but then I just let it go and was like, you know, this is this has to come out this is this needs to be told.

And yeah, so I think that there definitely is a shift in people wanting more, especially with I mean, Facebook, it’s like, it can be such a great tool, but it can also be, you know, we can get stuck in that comparison game, right. And I always when I see someone writing a really vulnerable post, I mean, it just really makes me feel more connected to them, you know, and we always have a fear that people aren’t going to like us if we share this thing or something. But I’ve never had that experience where someone shares something vulnerable. And I’m like, wow, I don’t like you as much as I did before. You know, like, I don’t have any kind of I never have a negative reaction to that.

I completely agree. I actually have the negative reactions when people are showboating, but I like you have never had a negative reaction to the vulnerable posts. So Thank you for sharing that. Joie. This has been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for coming on. Where can listeners find you online? Get to know more and connect with you?

Joie Cheng: Yeah, so the best place to go is my website, which is joiecheng.com. Or you can also follow me on Facebook. I’m on Twitter as well, LinkedIn, but Facebook is where I’m the most active, as well as on my website,

listeners, there will be links to all of Joe’s social media channels and our website on the show notes at thekimsutton.com/pp240. Joie, do you have a last piece of parting advice or a golden nugget that you can share with listeners?

Joie Cheng: I’m sure I would say too. I mean, really just believe that you are you know a gift from God that you are divine and that you can do anything and know that if those thoughts come up that just allow them to pass by to to notice them and then you can feel any feelings that come up but know that that’s not the truth of who you are.