It blows my mind when I remember that God knew his plans for me long before my parents knew I would be a thing. ⁠
⁠
I'm amazed remembering that God knew his plans for me long before I knew Him.⁠
⁠
And I'm grateful that Jesus sacrificed himself so that I could be here, confused by God's plans but learning to trust Him whole-heartedly. ...

Can I just share that I'm enjoying how the kids and I are working together-ish to keep the house clean(ish) during this period of transition.⁠
⁠
Okay okay... Some days the house is absolutely TRASHED. It doesn't help that in the midst of everything changing we adopted three husky-lab puppies into our family. The puppies grew faster than we could have ever imagined and are happy to clear the table if the kids don't. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️⁠
⁠
But for the most part the house is being kept up in ways I was told I wasn't sure would be possible without hiring a house cleaner, and it's little things like that which add to my happiness in this new life.⁠
⁠
P.S. I'm still interested in stealing Alice from the Brady Bunch if anybody knows where I can find her.⁠
⁠ ...

It feels good to be getting back to the things I love to do and to enjoy doing them without feeling hurt or heartbreak.⁠
⁠
My desk is cleaned off and I'm getting ready to resume recording podcasts.⁠
My knitting box is next to my bed and work on the prayer catcher blanket has resumed.⁠
Apple music has more leeway where music is concerned, and I can sing along, albeit poorly, to tunes I love regardless of memories attached.⁠
⁠
I don't expect to be 100% healed anytime soon, but with each passing day I find more time passing without thinking about the past because I am thinking about the present and future. I am thinking about what I need to do now to be the person God wants me to be.⁠
⁠
Stay tuned, Instafam. Awesome stuff is coming. ...

It's amazing how, as my life has changed over the past year my needs have changed.⁠
⁠
For example, today marks seven months alcohol-free. I am not an alcoholic and am not permanently giving up drinking, however I realized I had a problem when I would think, often, "I need a drink."⁠
⁠
I didn't need a drink. I needed God.⁠
⁠
There's little to nothing on this planet that I need. God gives me what I need and provides me with more than I could ever expect. Might I want things? Yep. Constantly. But I can see now how much I want that I don't need or that doesn't serve me.⁠
⁠
This next season is about training myself to rely on and trust God. ⁠
This next season is about needing God when my body and mind are craving things which will hurt me or my heart. ⁠
This next season is about putting God above all else. ...

Whoooo... There's so much I could say on this. But I think all I can say is that failure used to mean one thing, and now it means another.⁠
⁠
Walking into a new season of life, one of spiritual growth and development, I no longer see failure from the earthly perspective. Now I look at it from a heavenly perspective. Did I do what God probably wanted me to do? Or, could I have done better?⁠
⁠
There is no failure, however. Jesus saved me from failure. As long as I repent and see/acknowledge where I can do better - and actually do my best to - I can't fail.⁠
⁠
Will I always reach my goals? No. But I see now that it's not my goals which matter. It's God's goals which matter. ...